Ngazama Iseluleko Esihle Kakhulu Sezocansi sakwaReddit — futhi Sasisihle Ngokumangazayo

-Delile

• Shaya Indlwabu Kanye Nomlingani Wakho
• Zibandakanye Ku-Aftercare
• Chaza kabusha Ubulili Bokugeza
• Phakamisa isikhwama se-Goodie Sezocansi
• Ufuna amathiphu amaningi wezocansi?
• Buyekeza kwe-

Yehla emgodini kanogwaja waseReddit bese uqhafaza kude nakho konke ongathanda ukukwazi mayelana nokunakekelwa kwesikhumba, ukulala, ukukhulelwa, futhi (ungamangala ukufunda) ucansi!

Yebo, ngeke ukholwe yonke into oyifunda ku-inthanethi futhi izintambo zocansi ze-Reddit azigadwa ukuze kutholakale ukunemba—"Akunacala ku-Reddit, ngiyayithanda isayithi, kodwa ingaba isizinda sokuzalela kwabantu abacabanga ukuthi bazi yonke into, "kusho uLisa Finn, ofundisa ngocansi esikhungweni samathoyizi ocansi iBabeland - kodwa lokho akusho ukuthi leli sayithi eliyintandokazi yenkolo alinawo amanye amagugu.

Ngakho-ke ngasebenzisa amathiphu ambalwa ocansi ka-Finn no-Lateef Taylor, umfundisi wezocansi kanye nommeli wokubheka ubulili, futhi ngokuvuma kwabo, ngabazama mina ngokwami.

Skrolela phansi ukuze ufunde ngamathiphu amane wezocansi ahamba phambili engiwatholile kuReddit - nokuthi kwenzekani lapho (mina nomlingani wami) sizama.

Shaya Indlwabu Kanye Nomlingani Wakho

Omunye umsebenzisi weReddit uthathe ihabhu eku-inthanethi ukuthola ukuthi abanye abantu (ngaphandle kwakhe nomkakhe) bathola imilingo efanayo. Ezinsukwini ezinhlanu nje, abantu abangaphezu kuka-2,500 XNUMX bathatha okuthunyelwe ukuze bamvumele ukuthi akuthande, futhi.

"Ngikuthola ukuhlanganyela obuseduze kokuthile okungokwemvelo njengokuzijabulisa kwakho kungakholeki," kubhala iphosta yokuqala (i-OP). "Ngeqiniso mkhulu futhi ngikuthola kusondelene impela!" kusho omunye umsebenzisi. Omunye ophawulayo onobuhlungu obungapheli uthi ukushaya indlwabu kuyindlela "ye-godsend" lapho belimala: "Ngikwazi [ukuhlala] ngikhululekile ngaphansi kwephedi lami lokufudumeza futhi ngiphumule endaweni yengalo yomyeni wami futhi ngizizwe ngisondelene ngempela."

Kuthiwani ngokushaya indlwabu ngokufanayo okwenza kusondelane njengoba laba Redditters bethi kunjalo? "Njengomphakathi, ukushaya indlwabu kuseyinto engathandeki. Kuyinto ecatshangwa ukuthi yenziwa ngasese noma cha," kuchaza uFinn. Ukwabelana lokho nomlingani kungaba sengozini enkulu kwabanye, "futhi ukuthi ukuba sengozini okwabiwe kungaholela ekusondeleni ngokweqile," usho kanje.

"Kuyisifundo esikhulu kakhulu," kunezela uTaylor. "Uzobuka futhi ufunde ukuthi umlingani wakho uthanda ukuthintwa kanjani." Mhlawumbe uhlala uhambisa iminwe yakho ngapha nangapha ngenkathi bezithinta besebenzisa imibuthano, noma mhlawumbe ubambe isidlidlizi ngqo ku-hotspot yabo, ngenkathi bethanda ukusibambela eceleni, kusho uTaylor. Ungasebenzisa lonke lolu lwazi ukujabulisa kangcono umlingani wakho phansi kolayini. (Related: Amathiphu angu-13 okushaya indlwabu)

NGIQINISEKILE kakhulu ukuzama leli pipi, ngakhipha esinye sezidlidlizi zami engizithandayo, futhi umlingani wami wakhipha i-lube. Sibe sesibopha uBryson Tiller sabe sesizithinta sonke. Futhi bomndeni, ake ngikutshele: Isondelene futhi i-HO-T njengoba abasebenzisi be-Reddit bengathanda ukuthi ukholelwe. Ikakhulukazi uma kukhona ukuxhumana kwamehlo...

Zibandakanye Ku-Aftercare

Uma ukuchayeka kwakho ku-BDSM kukhawulelwe kuAmashumi amahlanu amathunzi eGrey, ungacabanga ukuthi ukudlala amandla kufaka kuphela ubuhlungu, iziswebhu, ukubhaxabulwa, noma ozankosi. Kodwa kukhona enye into ongayiboni; "i-aftercare" yinto (ephethe kahle) odokotela be-BDSM abenza ngemuva kocansi noma indawo yesehlakalo futhi, ngokusho kwabanye abasebenzisi beReddit, kuyinto okufanele yenziwe yilowo nalowo (kinky noma cha). (Okuhlobene: Umhlahlandlela Wabaqalayo ku-BDSM).

Iyini i-aftercare, ngempela? Omunye umsebenzisi weReddit uchaza ukunakekelwa kwangemuva ngokuthi, "ukuba mnandi futhi nothambile futhi bahlanganyele ngemuva kocansi. Ngakho-ke, ukufaka isipuni, ukugonana, ukukhuluma kancane, ukubuza ukuthi ngabe balungile noma kukhona abakudingayo. Kwesinye isikhathi kungenzeka ukuthi nobabili nilale izingalo zomunye noma ukubambana ngezandla. Ngezinye izikhathi, songelana ngezingubo zokulala noma niguduzane lapho nikhuluma. "

U-Finn uthi lokho kunembe kakhulu, wengeza ngokuthi ukunakekelwa ngemuva kumayelana nokuqinisekisa ukuthi wena nesithandwa sakho nizizwa niphephile, nihlonishwa, ninakekelwa futhi nikhululekile. "Yize kubalulekile kwizigcawu ze-BDSM ezisindayo noma ezishubile, ingasetshenziswa futhi ngemuva kwe-vanilla sex (kodwa-ke uyakuchaza lokho)," esho, evuma ukuthi ukunakekelwa kwangemuva kwenzelwe wonke umuntu.

Empeleni, ukuchitha isikhathi ndawonye nje ngemuva kocansi, ukuthintana ngothando, nokuhlanganyela ekuhlaziyweni kwangemva kocansi. "Isikhathi esihle sokuxoxa ngalokho okuthandile, ongakuthandi, ofuna ukukuzama futhi ngokulandelayo, okuzwile kukuhle, noma nokuthi kukwenze wazizwa kanjani ngokomzwelo," kusho uFinn.

Njengomuntu ozivumayo ukuthi uyisigqila sokusebenza, kungaba nzima kimina ukwenza isikhathi socansi, ingasaphathwa eyokuqoma ngemva kokuya ocansini. Ngingakwazi ukuhlanganisa ukunakekelwa kwesikhashana okwengeziwe ohlelweni lwami lwe-sexytime-ikakhulukazi uma ngicabangela ulimi lwami lothando lwamagama okuqinisekisa kanye nokuthinta ngokomzimba. (Awunasiqiniseko ngolimi lothando lomlingani wakho? Nansi indlela yokukhuluma ngayo—kanye nezinye izingxoxo zempilo yocansi enempilo.)

Ngelinye iSonto ngemuva kokudlala ngemikhiqizo emisha yokuzijabulisa, mina nomlingani wami sanquma ukuzama ukunakekelwa ngemuva kokuzimisela. Sachitha amahora sazisana, siphuza, futhi sithandana. Njengoba ungase uqagele, bekuwuthando njengeshit futhi kwasivulela umnyango wokuthi sikhulume ~imizwa yethu ~. Futhi, ngathola ukubhucungwa, okwakuyi-clutch.

Chaza kabusha Ubulili Bokugeza

Ukuvumelana phakathi kwabakwaRedditors ukuthi ezocansi zeshawa, kahle, zimbi, futhi kungcono kakhulu kwesokunxele kumabhayisikobho. "I-0/10 ingancoma, ngihlala emotweni evamile eminyene noma ucansi lwasembhedeni," kubhala enye i-Reddit. "Ngisabela impilo yami uma [ngiya ocansini] ngigeza," kubhala omunye.

Naphezu kwalesi simo esibonakala sikhona emhlabeni wonke ngokumelene nobulili beshawa, kukhona uchungechunge lwamathiphu okwenza kube ngcono. (Okuhlobene: Amathiphu Aphezulu We-Sexologist Wokwenza Shower Sex Amazing)

Uma sibheka umlingani wami nami sihlala sigeza ndawonye kepha kuyaqabukela sihlanganyele e-hanky-panky ngenkathi silapho, sithathe isinqumo sokuzama elinye lamathiphu: Faka indawo yokudlala okugeza okungena ngaphakathi nge-foreplay.

"Ukusangana ocansini, noma kungashisa kanjani, kungakhathaza kakhulu ngokomzimba futhi kube yingozi, ikakhulukazi uma kunokungena okuhilelekile," kusho uFinn. Futhi ngenxa yokuthi amanzi ageza isithambisi semvelo somzimba, ukungena kungaphatheki kahle, usho kanje.

Kodwa "ukuthatha ucansi olungena ngaphakathi nolwendunu ulususe etafuleni akuyona nje indlela ehlakaniphile yokuphepha," kusho uTaylor. "Ibuye ikuvumele ukuthi uhlole ucansi lomlomo, ukudlala isidlidlizi, ukubhucungwa, ukungalungenisi ucansi lwezandla, ukubhucungwa, nezinye izenzo zocansi ongase ungazinaki." (Okuhlobene: Izikhundla zocansi ezihamba phambili neziphephe kunazo zonke).

Isikhathi sokuqala lapho sizama ukugeza "ubulili", saletha i-Wartenberg pinwheel (ICYDK, lelo ithoyizi lokuzwa). Bekumnandi kakhulu, saphinde sakuzama lokho ngosuku olufanayo, kodwa futhi waletha isidlidlizi esingangenisi manzi. Isinqumo sokugcina? Ucansi lweshawa olungangeni ngaphakathi luyindlela eqinile kuneyocansi oluvamile lweshawa.

Phakamisa isikhwama se-Goodie Sezocansi

Wake wakhathazeka ngokubuza i-fling evamile kusengaphambili uma uzochitha ubusuku? Abasebenzisi beReddit banesixazululo: Yenza isikhwama esincane senhlanzeko nemikhiqizo yezocansi ongayifuna ubusuku obubodwa noma ukuhlambalaza ungekho ekhaya. (Related: Imibuzo Yokubuza Umuntu Ngaphambi Kokuya Ocansini Naye).

Kulolu chungechunge lwegciwane, abasebenzisi be-Reddit abangaphezu kuka-2,300 bathathe amazwana ukuze babelane ngalokho okufihlwe emasakeni abo ocansi. Nakuba abanye bagcina nje imikhiqizo yenhlanzeko efana nokugeza ubuso, isiqedaphunga, nesixubho, ezinye zihlanganisa amaphenti engeziwe, ilube, namathoyizi ocansi—okungakamuva uFinn noTaylor bacabanga ukuthi kungcono kakhulu.

“Njalo uma uzoya ocansini nomuntu, ufuna ukuba nemikhiqizo yocansi ephephile, amathoyizi ocansi, nezinto zokugcoba ezizokwenza uzizwe ukhululekile futhi ujabule kakhulu,” kusho uTaylor, enezela ngokuthi lokhu kubaluleke kakhulu uma noma yikuphi ukungezwani nezithako ezivame ukutholakala kumalubes noma kumakhondomu. "Ukulungiswa ngaphambi kwalokhu kuzosusa imibuzo eminingi nokungaqiniseki, okungakusiza ungene ngaphakathi futhi ngenxa yalokho uthokozele okwengeziwe," kusho uTaylor.

Nakuba abasebenzisi abaningi be-Reddit begcina amasaka abo ocansi ezimotweni zabo, uFinn uphawula ukuthi amakhondomu nama-lubes angonakaliswa ukushisa okukhulu. “Amabhodlela epulasitiki izinto zokugcoba eziningi ezigcinwa kuwo aqala ukubola ngenxa yokushisa, kanjalo ne-latex kumakhondomu,” usho kanje. Ngakho-ke uma uhlala endaweni efudumele, qiniseka ukuthi ushintshanisa ikhondomu ukuthola okusha ngemuva kokushisa okushisayo. (Kuhlobene: 8 Amaphutha Ekhondomu Athusayo Ongase Uwenze)

Yize mina nomlingani wami sizimisele ngokwanele ukuthi angikhathazeki ngokubuza noma yimaphi ama-q kusengaphambili, ngiyawuthanda umqondo wokuba nemikhiqizo yami yenjabulo kanye nami — futhi ngemuva kwayizolo ebusuku, ake sithi ngiyajabula ngokuthi ngikwenzile.

Ufuna amathiphu amaningi wezocansi?

Uma ufuna ukwazi ukuthi yiziphi ezinye izeluleko zocansi ezintantayo ezungeze iReddit, ngincoma ukupheqa kule ntambo, enezeluleko eziseduze nezingu-2 000 zendlela yokujabulisa umlingani wakho. Hlala ukhumbula, "okusebenzela umuntu oyedwa kungenzeka kungakusebenzeli (kanye nomlingani wakho)," kusho uFinn. "Futhi uma kungenjalo, akusho ukuthi umzimba wakho wephukile!"

Futhi ngokusakazwa njalo kwamathiphu ocansi (ahlolwe uchwepheshe!), Ungabhalisela njaloUmumoIncwadi yezindaba zocansi nobudlelwano, i-NSFW.

Buyekeza kwe-