Ukugwema Ukungqubuzana Akukwenzi Yini Okuthandayo

-Delile

• Yini
• Kubukeka kanjani
• Kungani kungasizi
• Amasu wokukunqoba
• Qamba kabusha ukungqubuzana
• Yenza uhlelo
• Sebenzisa izinzwa zakho ukukhulula ngokushesha ukucindezeleka
• Bona futhi uphathe imizwa yakho
• Xazulula izingqinamba ngesikhathi sangempela
• Ungaluthola nini usizo
• Okubalulekile

Yini

Cabanga ngalesi simo: Ubusebenza kanzima ekwethulweni amasonto ambalwa, uchitha amahora amaningi uzama ukuthola yonke into ngokufanele. Uqondise yonke imininingwane futhi uvuke ngovivi ukulungiselela umhlangano wanamuhla nomphathi wakho.

Manje cabanga ngomuntu osebenza naye engena phakathi futhi athathe lonke udumo ngalo eyakho sebenza. Kepha esikhundleni sokuxhumana nentukuthelo yakho futhi (ngokufanele) ukhulume, ukhetha ukuhoxa buthule.

Ukugwema ukungqubuzana kusho ngqo lokho: ukwesaba ukungezwani okungahle kwenzeke ngazo zonke izindlela.

Ngaphandle kwempilo yethu yasemsebenzini, ukugwema ukungqubuzana kungabonakala ebudlelwaneni bethu bezothando, ubungani, kanye nasemandleni omndeni.

Ngenkathi ukuphuma kwala maphethini alimazayo kuyinkohliso, kunezindlela zokuqhubekela phambili lapho sibhekene nokwesaba kwethu futhi siveze imizwa yethu ngokweqiniso.

Kubukeka kanjani

Ukugwema ukungqubuzana uhlobo lokuziphatha okujabulisa abantu okuvame ukuvela ekwesabeni okugxilile okujulile kokucasula abanye.

Eziningi zalezi zithambekele zingalandelwa emuva ekukhuleni endaweni eyayicasula noma icubungula.

Abantu abaphendula ukungqubuzana ngale ndlela bavame ukulindela imiphumela engemihle futhi bakuthole kunzima ukwethemba ukusabela komunye umuntu.

Ngamanye amagama, ukugomela ngombono wakho kungabonakala kusabisa noma kungathusi.

Uthanda ukubonwa njengomuntu “omuhle” emsebenzini, ngokwesibonelo, noma ungahlekela izingxabano ezivulekile nezinempilo ukuze ungazami ukusikinya isikebhe.

Ebudlelwaneni, lokhu kungabukeka njengokuthula kumlingani wakho, ukushintsha isihloko, noma ukubekezelela izimo ezingakhululeki esikhundleni sokuveza izindaba obala.

Nazi ezinye izibonelo zendlela lokhu okungabonakala ngayo:

• i-stonewalling, noma ukuphika inkinga kukhona ngokungayinaki
• ukwesaba ukudumaza abanye
• ukugwema izingxoxo ngamabomu
• uthukuthele buthule izingqinamba ezingaxazululiwe

Kungani kungasizi

Uma ugwema ukungavumelani okuncane, ususa imizwa yakho yangempela futhi ugcina ukukhungatheka okungagcina kuthinte impilo yakho kabi.

Omunye uthole ukuthi ukuvala imizwa yethu ngokweqile kungakhuphula amathuba okufa ngaphambi kwesikhathi, kuhlanganise nokufa ngenxa yomdlavuza.

Ukuhleka ngokwesaba noma ukumamatheka ngokumamatheka ebusweni bethu esikhundleni sokuvuma imizwa ecindezelayo nakho kungaholela emizweni yokuba nesizungu nokudangala.

Ukugwema izingxabano kuthinta nobudlelwano bethu ngoba sinquma konke ukuxhumana okuthembekile nomunye umuntu.

Ngenkathi ukugwema kwesinye isikhathi kubonakala kuyindlela engcono yokubhekana nezingxabano, ngokuhamba kwesikhathi kugcina kulimaze ukusondelana kwethu.

Amasu wokukunqoba

Ngabe ubona noma yiziphi zalezi zibonakaliso ezingenhla kuwe? Amathiphu angezansi angakusiza ukuthi ubhekane nenkinga ngokuqiniseka.

Qamba kabusha ukungqubuzana

Ukungavumelani nomuntu akusho ukuthi “ukulwa.” Khumbula ukuthi akukona ukusola omunye umuntu noma ukufakazela ukuthi ngubani olungile nokungalungile esimweni esithile.

Ukulungiswa kwengxabano kumayelana nokuzimela nokukhulumisana lapho uzizwa uthukuthele noma ukhungathekile.

Kuphathelene nokuqinisekisa ukuthi izingqinamba eziyinkinga (njengalezo osebenza naye) ziyadingidwa ukuze zingaphinde zenzeke ngokuzayo.

Yenza uhlelo

Ukuba nohlelo olubekwe ngaphambi kokuhlangana nomuntu kungakusiza uzizwe ulungele ngokwengeziwe okwamanje.

Zijwayeze amaphuzu amafushane ongathanda ukuwafinyelela kumphathi noma osebenza naye ukuze uzozethemba lapho ukhuluma nawo.

Chaza ngokusobala ongathanda ukukuxazulula ngaphambi kwempikiswano bese ubhala izimpendulo ezisemathinini, eziyiqiniso ongazisebenzisa uma kudingeka (“Ngisebenze sekwedlule isikhathi emavikini amabili edlule ngenkathi engisebenza naye engazange anikeze ingxenye yakhe yocwaningo”) .

Sebenzisa izinzwa zakho ukukhulula ngokushesha ukucindezeleka

Hlala ugxile esimweni esicindezelayo ngokugxila nokudweba ebhokisini lakho lamathuluzi wezinzwa: ukubona, umsindo, ukuthinta, ukunambitha, nokuhogela.

Lokhu kuzokuvumela ukuthi uhlale ukhululekile futhi uzilawule ngesikhathi sesikhathi esishubile.

Uma ungumuntu obukwayo, isibonelo, ungakhulula ukucindezeleka ngokuvala amehlo akho futhi ucabange izithombe ezithobisayo.

Ngokufanayo, uma ududuzwa kakhulu yiphunga, ungagcina uwoyela obalulekile esandleni ukuthatha umfutho osheshayo lapho uzizwa ukhathazekile.

Bona futhi uphathe imizwa yakho

Ukwazi ukuthi imizwa yakho ingakuthinta kanjani kungakusiza ukuthi uziqonde kangcono wena nabanye. Ngaphambi kokubhekana nothile, zama ukuhlola nokubuza imizwa yakho.

Esikhundleni sokuzama ukwehlisa imizwa efana nentukuthelo, ukudabuka, noma ukwesaba, zama ukuzibheka ngensini yokuzizwela, futhi uzivumele ukuthi ubone imicabango yakho engemihle ngozwela.

Ungazama ukwenza ukuvuma okulandelayo:

• "Kulungile ukuzwa kodwa ngizizwa ngalesi sikhathi - imizwa yami isemthethweni."
• "Ngifanele futhi ngifanele ukuzwakala."
• "Konke okuhlangenwe nakho kwami ​​(okuhle nokubi) kunginikeza ithuba lokukhula."

Xazulula izingqinamba ngesikhathi sangempela

Esikhundleni sokukhanyisa ngokungapheli futhi uvumele izingxabano zikhule ekhanda lakho, zama ukuthatha indlela yokuqina.

Ungaqala ngokusho lolu daba ngaphandle komoya futhi usebenzise imisho esuselwa eqinisweni njengokuthi, “Kubonakala sengathi ngisebenze kanzima kakhulu kule phrojekthi kepha igama lami alishiywanga kuleso sethulo.”

Gwema ukumangalela noma ukuzivikela lapho uya kumuntu osebenza naye othathe lonke udumo ngomsebenzi wakho.

Esikhundleni salokho, yithi "Ngingajabula uma, ngokuya phambili, sisebenzisa womabili amagama ethu kuphrojekthi bese sifaka omunye nomunye kuwo wonke ama-imeyili kumphathi wethu."

Ungaluthola nini usizo

Yize kungakulinga ukuvala imizwa efana nentukuthelo nokukhungatheka ngokungasinyakazisi isikebhe, ukuthambekela kokugwema izingxabano kungayilimaza impilo yakho yengqondo.

Ukushiya izingxabano zingaxazululeki kuholela ekukhungathekeni okuphuphuma kanye nomuzwa omkhulu wesizungu ongakha ngokuhamba kwesikhathi.

Ukukhuluma nomelaphi ofanelekayo kungakusiza ufunde ukuthi ungaphatha kanjani kangcono imizwa yakho emibi. Ungasebenzisana ekuxazululeni izingxabano ngomkhiqizo.

Okubalulekile

Uhlobo oluthile lokushayisana luyingxenye ejwayelekile yezimpilo zethu zomuntu siqu nezomsebenzi.

Yize kulungile ukuthi ungalokothi ukhululeke ngokuphelele lapho ubhekene nezinkinga, ukukwazi ukuxazulula izingqinamba ngempumelelo kusho ukwamukela njengengxenye enempilo yokuxhumana nabanye.

Khumbula ukuthi ukungavumelani kunikeza ukuqonda okujulile futhi kwenza kube lula ukuxhumana nabangane bethu, ophathina, kanye nabantu esisebenza nabo.

Ukufunda ukuthi ungabhekana kanjani nomuntu ngokuqiniseka ngeke kwenzeke ngobusuku obubodwa. Kepha usengathatha izinyathelo ezincane usuku ngalunye uzizwe ukhululekile ukubhekana nokwesaba kwakho nokuzikhulumela.

UCindy Lamothe yintatheli ezimele ezinze eGuatemala. Ubhala kaningi ngemiphambanandlela phakathi kwezempilo, inhlalakahle, nesayensi yokuziphatha komuntu. Ubhalelwe i-The Atlantic, New York Magazine, Teen Vogue, Quartz, The Washington Post, nezinye eziningi. Mthole ku- utbindani.com.