Abesifazane Bafaka Amabhomu Akhazimulayo Ezitho Zabo Zobulili

-Delile

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Akukho lutho olungalungile ngokungeza uthingo oluncane lwesitayela sikaLisa Frank nokukhazimula empilweni yakho. Noma ngabe iza ngohlobo lwe-toast, i-frappuccino, noma ama-noodle we-unicorn, akukho hlazo ekugxileni ku-bandicagon-unicorn-phela, uma uthuli lwe-technicolor pixie lungakwenzi umomotheka, yini engakwenza?

Kepha uma ngabe ubuzibuza ukuthi lo mkhuba uzokuya kude kangakanani, sesifinyelele kuvuthondaba ngokoqobo. Inkampani ebizwa ngePretty Woman Inc. ithengisa ibhomu lobukhazikhazi elingokoqobo elibizwa ngePassion Dust. Inhloso yawo? Ukukunikeza i- "orgasm ekhanyayo, enephunga elimnandi." (Ngoba ngokusobala, ama-orgasms avamile awanele ngokwanele njengoba enjalo.) Njengayo yonke i-unicorn eye yahlanganisa ama-interwebs ngonyaka owedlule, kwaba ukushaywa ngokushesha, kuthengiswa ngokushesha kuwebhusayithi yenkampani.

I-Passion Dust "yisigaxa esifakwa ngaphakathi kwesitho sangasese okungenani ihora elilodwa ngaphambi kokwenza ucansi. Njengoba amaphilisi eba ngokufudumele futhi eswakanyiswe uketshezi lwesitho sangasese sowesifazane sangasese siqala ukuncibilika, sidedele iPustion Dust ebenyezelayo, enoshukela ngaphakathi kwe-capsule," ngokusho kwewebhusayithi.

Impela, ukuba ne-Milky Way Galaxy-themed hookup kuzwakala kumnandi, kepha umcabango nje wokushoshela iphilisi elincane elikhazimulayo phezulu lapho kubonakala kungangabazeki nge-litttttle. Buza noma yimuphi udokotela, futhi aqiniseke kakhulu ukuthi aqinisekise ukwesaba kwakho: "Imizimba yangaphandle esithweni sangasese ingaphazamisa i-pH yayo futhi ingase iholele ku-vaginitis noma ezinye izifo," ngokusho kuka-Angela Jones, MD, i-ob-gyn eqinisekiswe yibhodi. , njengoba sabika endabeni yethu ukuthi amaqanda e-jade aphephile yini ukufaka ngaphakathi esithweni sakho sangasese. (Isexwayiso se-Spoiler: abekho.)

Inkampani elandela i-Passion Dust igcizelela ukuthi izinto ezicwebezelayo zebanga lezimonyo nezimpushana eziyigugu azinabo ubuthi futhi ziyindilinga (kunokuba ziyi-hexagonal), zinciphisa ingozi yokucasuka emiphethweni ebukhali. Izithako zihlanganisa amaphilisi e-gelatin, i-glitter edliwayo esekwe isitashi, impushana ye-acacia (gum arabic), i-Zea Mays isitashi, ne-vegetable stearate.

"Kunokucwebezela okuyingozi, amakhemikhali, kanye nezithasiselo ku-gloss yomlomo oyigqokayo noma i-highlighter ebusweni bakho noma i-eyeshadow kunalokhu okukulo mkhiqizo," ngokusho kwe-website ye-Passion Dust. Basho ukuthi usuhogele noma ufake amenyezeli anobungozi namakhemikhali ngaphandle kokugula, nokuthi akukho okuya esithweni sangasese okuphephile ngamaphesenti ayi-100 kuma-tampons, i-douche, i-powders, namakha amathoyizi, i-lubes, i-lotion, u-oyela kanye ngisho nezinzipho neminwe engcolile. Ngokwe-website, "Uma ngabe uke waba nezinkinga zesitho sowesifazane sangasese ngaphambi kokuba usebenzise i-Passion Dust noma kunjalo ... Iqiniso ukuthi, akukho okumele kungene lapho futhi uma kunjalo, kufanele usebenzise ukuqonda kwakho lapho unquma ukuthi yini lezo zinto ziyoba njalo. "

Kodwa-ke, ngenxa yokuthi izinto ezithile azibeki ubungozi emzimbeni wakho kwezinye izindawo akusho ukuthi ziphephile esithweni sakho sangasese: Isibonelo, izithelo nemifino ilungele ukuhamba esiswini sakho kepha kuwumbono omubi ukuya noma kuphi eduze izingxenye zakho zezintokazi. Ngisho nemikhiqizo ephilayo ehlutshiwe ihlanzekile isaphethe amabhaktheriya, ingenisa amagciwane ezithweni zakho zangasese futhi iphazamise ibhalansi ejwayelekile yamagciwane esithweni sangasese, okungadala ukutheleleka, ngokusho kukaMary Jane Minkin, MD, uprofesa ohlobene nomtholampilo we-ob-gyn eYale School Wezokwelapha, njengoba sibike kuzinto eziyi-10 Okungafanele Uzibeke Eduze Kwesisu Sakho.

Izingozi zezempilo eceleni, ake sithathe isikhashana ukucabanga ukuthi kungani lawa ma-capsules akhazimulayo ahlanganiswa kwasekuqaleni: ukuguqula izingxenye zakho zezintokazi zibe yinto engaqondakali, engaphandle kwalomhlaba. Ngokuqondile, iwebhusayithi ichaza ukuthi "ukunambitheka kunoshukela njengoshukela kepha hhayi okumnandi ngokweqile, kwanele ukwenza isithandwa sakho sizizwe ukuthi i-Yara yakho (intokazi yamanzi noma uvemvane oluncane) yilokho wonke ama-vaginas okufanele abukeke, azizwe futhi anambitheke ngakho; ithambile, imnandi futhi inomlingo! "

Umh uxolo kodwa ngigcine ukubheka *zonke* izitho zangasese zinemilingo kungakhathaliseki ukuthi zithambile noma zimnandi noma ziyacwebezela. Enza kangcono kakhulu kunezikhulu zezinganekwane ezithakazelayo noma athumele izilwane ezincelisayo ezincane engomeni—zizala ukuphila kwabantu okumangalisayo.

Futhi, ngokujulile, ugcine nini ukubona umkhiqizo omakethwa ngamakhosi athembisa ukwenza izitho zawo zangasese zikhange ngokwengeziwe? (Amabhola e-Dick disco? Ama-Suppositories okwenza isidoda sinambithe njengamakhekhe?)

Awukaze? Yebo, wacabanga kanjalo. Cishe sekuyisikhathi lapho umhlaba uthatha isinqumo sokuthanda nokwazisa "izimvemvane ezincane" zethu ezinhle ngokubabazekayo ngezinto zemilingo ezingekho-ezibengezelayo ezidingekayo.

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