Ungakuguqula Kanjani Ukucabanga Okungalungile Ngokuhlelwa kabusha Kokuqonda

-Delile

• Kusebenza kanjani ukuhlela kabusha kwengqondo?
• Amasu wokuhlela kabusha kwengqondo
• Ukuziqapha
• Ukubuza ukucabanga kwakho
• Ukuqoqa ubufakazi
• Ukwenza ukuhlaziywa kwezindleko-inzuzo
• Ukwenza ezinye izindlela
• Ziyini izinzuzo?
• Yiziphi izinhlobo zezinkinga ezingasiza ukuhlela kabusha kwengqondo yethu?
• Ingabe kukhona okungahambi kahle?
• Okubalulekile

Iningi labantu lihlangabezana nezindlela zokucabanga ezingezinhle ngezikhathi ezithile, kepha kwesinye isikhathi la maphethini agxila kakhulu kangangokuba aphazamisa ubudlelwano, impumelelo, kanye nenhlalakahle.

Ukulungiswa kabusha kwengqondo yiqembu lezindlela zokwelapha ezisiza abantu ukuthi babone futhi bashintshe izindlela zabo zokucabanga ezingezinhle.

Lapho amaphethini wokucabanga eba ngokonakalisa nokuzilimaza, kuwumqondo omuhle ukuhlola izindlela zokuziphazamisa futhi uziqondise kabusha. Yilokho ukuhlela kabusha kwengqondo okungakwenza.

Kusebenza kanjani ukuhlela kabusha kwengqondo?

Ukulungiswa kabusha kwengqondo kusenhliziyweni yokwelashwa kokuziphatha kwengqondo, indlela yokwelashwa efundwe kahle engasebenza ekwelapheni izimo eziningi zempilo yengqondo, kufaka phakathi ukucindezeleka nokuphazamiseka kokukhathazeka.

Ekwelashweni kokuziphatha kokuqonda (i-CBT), isiguli nodokotela basebenza ndawonye ukukhomba amaphethini wokucabanga ayiphutha afaka isandla enkingeni nasekwenzeni amasu okusiza ekuhleleni kabusha amaphethini emicabango emibi.

Kungaba yinkohliso ukubona ukungalungi emaphethini akho okucabanga. Ngaleso sizathu, ochwepheshe abaningi bancoma ukuthi usebenze nomelaphi lapho uqala ukuhlela kabusha ukuqonda.

Njengoba igama liphakamisa, amasu okuqonda kabusha wokwakha kabusha imicabango engasizi ngalutho futhi ayakhe kabusha ngendlela elinganiselayo nenembile.

Abantu kwesinye isikhathi bahlangabezana nokuhlanekezelwa kwengqondo - amaphethini wokucabanga adala umbono osontekile, ongenampilo weqiniso. Ukuhlanekezelwa kwengqondo kuvame ukuholela ekucindezelekeni, ekukhathazekeni, ezinkingeni zobudlelwano, nasekuziphatheni okwehlula ngokwakho.

Ezinye izibonelo zokuhlanekezelwa kwengqondo kuhlanganisa:

• ukucabanga okumnyama nokumhlophe
• kubangela inhlekelele
• ukwenza ngokweqile
• ukwenza ngezifiso

Ukulungiswa kabusha kwengqondo kunika ithuba lokuqaphela le micabango engalungile njengoba kwenzeka. Ngemuva kwalokho ungazijwayeza ukuvuselela le micabango ngezindlela ezinembe kakhulu nezisizayo.

Umbono uthi uma ungakwazi ukushintsha indlela obheka ngayo imicimbi noma izimo ezithile, ungakwazi ukuguqula imizwa onayo nezenzo ozenzayo.

Ngakho-ke uhlela kanjani kabusha umcabango ongemuhle?

Amasu wokuhlela kabusha kwengqondo

Yize noma ngubani angasebenzisa amasu okuhlela kabusha okuqonda ukuze athuthukise imikhuba yabo yokucabanga, abantu abaningi bakuthola kuwusizo ukusebenzisana nomelaphi.

Umelaphi angakusiza ufunde ukuthi yikuphi ukuphambuka kokuqonda okuthinta wena. Bangabuye bachaze ukuthi kungani futhi kungani umcabango ungenangqondo noma ungalungile.

Umelaphi angakusiza nokuthi ufunde "ukubuza" amaphethini wokucabanga angalungile futhi uwahlele kabusha ukuze abe muhle ngokwengeziwe.

Nasi umhlahlandlela omfushane kwamanye amasu abandakanyekile ekwakhiweni kabusha kwengqondo:

Ukuziqapha

Ukushintsha iphethini yokucabanga engakhiqizi, kufanele ukwazi ukubona iphutha olenzayo. Ukulungiswa kabusha kwengqondo kuxhomeke ekhonweni lakho lokuqaphela imicabango evusa imizwa emibi nesimo sengqondo.

Kuyasiza futhi ukuqaphela ukuthi imicabango ifika nini futhi kuphi. Kungenzeka ukuthi usengozini enkulu ekuhlanekezelweni kwengqondo ezimeni ezithile. Ukwazi ukuthi yiziphi lezo zimo kungakusiza ukuthi uzilungiselele kusengaphambili.

Isibonelo, uma ungumfundi onenkinga yokukhathazeka, ungahle ubone iphethini yenhlekelele ezindaweni zokuhlola. Mhlawumbe iphethini yakho ihamba into enjengale: Ngizokwehluleka nakanjani lokhu kuhlolwa, futhi ngihluleke izifundo, futhi angikwazi ukuphothula iziqu nabo bonke abanye abantu. Wonke umuntu uzokwazi ukuthi ngihlulekile.

Ukwazi ukuthi ukuba sengozini kukhona kungakusiza ukuthi ubambe umcabango wakho ongemuhle futhi ukuguqule ngaphambi kokuba ukunqobe.

Abanye abantu bakuthola kuwusizo ukubhala phansi njengengxenye yenqubo. Noma ungaqiniseki ekuqaleni ukuthi yini edale ukukhathazeka noma ukudabuka kwakho, ukubhala phansi imicabango yakho kungakusiza ukuthi ubone ukuphazamiseka kwengqondo noma iphethini.

Njengoba uzijwayeza ukuziqapha, ungaqala ukubona amaphethini wokucabanga asontekile ngokushesha okukhulu.

Ukubuza ukucabanga kwakho

Enye ingxenye ebalulekile yokwakhiwa kabusha kokuqonda ukufunda ukuthi ungayibuza kanjani imicabango nemicabango yakho, ikakhulukazi leyo ebonakala iphazamisa impilo ekhiqizayo.

Umelaphi angakufundisa ukuthi ungayisebenzisa kanjani indlela yokubuza yeSocrates ukuthola ukuthi imicabango yakho ezenzekelayo ithambekele kuphi futhi kanjani futhi ayinangqondo.

Eminye imibuzo ongayibuza ifaka phakathi:

• Ingabe lo mcabango ususelwa kumzwelo noma emaqinisweni?
• Yibuphi ubufakazi obukhona bokuthi lo mqondo unembile?
• Yibuphi ubufakazi obukhona bokuthi lo mcabango awunembile?
• Ngingayihlola kanjani le nkolelo?
• Yini embi kakhulu engenzeka? Ngingaphendula kanjani uma kwenzeka okubi kakhulu?
• Yiziphi ezinye izindlela lolu lwazi olungahunyushwa ngalo?
• Ngabe lesi yisimo esimnyama nomhlophe ngempela noma kukhona izithunzi ezimpunga lapha?

Uma uhlangabezana nokuphazamiseka kwengqondo okubizwa ngokuthi yi-catastrophizing, ngokwesibonelo, ungahle uthambekele ekuthatheni umphumela ongaba mubi kakhulu esimweni esicindezelayo. Lapho ubuza le ndlela yokucabanga, ungazibuza ukuthi ubhale yonke imiphumela engenzeka. Ungazibuza ukuthi kungenzeka kangakanani umphumela ngamunye ongaba khona.

Ukubuza imibuzo kukuvumela ukuthi ucabangele amathuba amasha angenamandla kangako njengalawo oyinhlekelele ongawesaba.

Ukuqoqa ubufakazi

Into esemqoka yokwakhiwa kabusha kokuqonda ukuqoqa ubufakazi.

Unganquma ukulandela umkhondo ngemicimbi edala impendulo, kufaka phakathi ukuthi ubunobani nokuthi wenzani. Ungahle uthande ukurekhoda ukuthi impendulo ngayinye inamandla kangakanani nokuthi yiziphi izinkumbulo ezavela njengomphumela.

Ungaqoqa futhi ubufakazi noma uphikisane nemicabango yakho, okucabangayo, nezinkolelo zakho. Ukuhlanekezelwa kwengqondo kubandlululiwe futhi akulungile, kepha futhi kungagxilwa ngokujulile. Ukuzikhipha nokuzifaka esikhundleni sazo kudinga ubufakazi bokuthi zinengqondo kangakanani.

Kungase kudingeke ukuthi ubhale amaqiniso akhombisa ukuthi inkolelo inembile, bese uqhathanisa uhlu namaqiniso akhombisa ukuthi inkolelo ihlanekezelwe noma imane nje ayilungile.

Isibonelo, uma wenza ngezifiso izenzo zabanye abantu, ungahle uzisole ngezinto ezingezona iphutha lakho. Ungahlomula ngokubheka ubufakazi obukhombisa ukuthi isenzo asihlangene nawe nakancane.

Ukwenza ukuhlaziywa kwezindleko-inzuzo

Usebenzisa leli qhinga, uzobheka izinzuzo nobubi bokugcina ukuphazamiseka okuthile kwengqondo.

Ungazibuza:

• Yini oyitholayo ngokuzibiza ngesilima esiphelele, isibonelo?
• Le ndlela yokucabanga ikulahlekiselani ngokomzwelo nangokwemvelo?
• Iyini imiphumela yesikhathi eside?
• Le ndlela yokucabanga ibathinta kanjani abantu abaseduze kwakho?
• Iqhubekisela phambili noma ikhawulela kanjani ukusebenza komsebenzi wakho?

Ukubona ubuhle nobubi eceleni kungakusiza unqume ukuthi kufanele yini ukushintsha iphethini.

Nasi isibonelo sosaziwayo sakamuva sendlela ukuhlaziywa kwezindleko kusizakala kanjani:

Embukisweni wakhe othi “Nanette,” usomahlaya uHannah Gadsby ukhulume ngendlela azakhela ngayo umsebenzi kumahlaya okuzincisha yena. Kepha ngesikhathi esithile, ukulimala ayekwenza emqondweni wakhe wokuzimela kwakwedlula izinzuzo zomsebenzi wakhe. Ngakho-ke wanquma ukuyeka ukuzidiliza njengendlela yokwenza amahlaya.

"UNanette" ubephumelela kakhulu, ngokwengxenye ngoba abantu abaningi bayakubona ukuhweba okuyingozi abakwenzayo nsuku zonke.

Ukwenza ezinye izindlela

Ukulungiswa kabusha kwengqondo kusiza abantu ukuthi bathole izindlela ezintsha zokubheka izinto ezenzeka kubo. Ingxenye yalo mkhuba ibandakanya ukuqhamuka nezinye izincazelo ezinengqondo nezinhle ukufaka esikhundleni sokuhlanekezelwa okwenziwe ngokuhamba kwesikhathi.

Isibonelo, uma ungazange uthole amaphuzu nakanye esivivinyweni, esikhundleni sokwenza ukuthi uyingozi kwizibalo, ungahlola izindlela ongashintsha ngayo imikhuba yakho yokufunda. Noma, ungahlola ezinye izindlela zokuphumula ongazizama ngaphambi kokuhlolwa kwakho okulandelayo.

Nasi esinye isibonelo: Uma iqembu lozakwenu lima ukukhuluma lapho ungena egumbini, esikhundleni sokugxumela esiphethweni sokuthi bebekhuluma ngawe, ungahle uthande ukubheka ezinye izincazelo ngezenzo zabo. Ngokwenza njalo, ungahle ubone ukuthi lesi simo besingahlangene nawe, noma ukuthi ukutolike kabi okwakwenzeka.

Ukwenza ezinye izindlela kungabandakanya ukudala ukuqinisekiswa okuhle kokushintsha amaphethini wokucabanga angalungile noma angasizi.

Ungahle ufune ukuziphinda ngokwakho ukuthi unikela ngokubaluleka, okuhle emsebenzini, nokuthi osebenza nabo bahlala bekufaka kulokho okwenzekayo. Ungasekela lezi ziqinisekiso ohlwini lweminikelo oyenzile empeleni, kanye nobudlelwano obuhle obakhe.

Ziyini izinzuzo?

Yize kusiza ukusebenza nomelaphi ekuqaleni, ukuhlela kabusha ukuqonda kuyindlela ongafunda ukuyenza wedwa uma wazi ukuthi kusebenza kanjani.

Ukukwazi ukubona nokuguqula izindlela zakho zokucabanga ezingezinhle kunezinzuzo eziningi. Isibonelo, kungasiza uku:

• yehlisa ingcindezi yakho futhi unciphise ukukhathazeka
• qinisa amakhono akho okuxhumana futhi wakhe ubudlelwano obunempilo
• shintsha izindlela zokubhekana nezempilo ezingenampilo njengokusebenzisa izidakamizwa
• wakhe kabusha ukuzethemba nokuzethemba

Yiziphi izinhlobo zezinkinga ezingasiza ukuhlela kabusha kwengqondo yethu?

I-American Psychological Association incoma i-CBT ukusiza nge:

• ukuphazamiseka kokudla
• ukudana
• ukukhathazeka
• PTSD
• ukuphazamiseka kokusebenzisa izidakamizwa
• ukugula ngengqondo
• izinkinga zomshado

Kungakusiza futhi ukuthi uhambise izinguquko ezinzima njengokuhlukanisa, ukugula okungathi sína, noma ukulahlekelwa othandekayo.

Kunoma isiphi isimo sempilo lapho kukhula khona amaphethini emicabango emibi, ukwakhiwa kabusha kwengqondo kungakusiza uphonsele inselelo futhi ushintshe nemicabango engakusizi.

Ingabe kukhona okungahambi kahle?

Njengoba kunconywa ukuthi abantu basebenze nodokotela, ukubuyela emuva okungenzeka kube khona ekuhlelweni kabusha kwengqondo kungaba izindleko ezingaphandle kwezikhwama zezikhathi zokwelashwa.

Odokotela eMayo Clinic baphawula ukuthi kwezinye izimo izindlela ze-CBT zingasebenza kakhulu lapho zihlanganiswa nemithi.

Okubalulekile

Ukulungiswa kabusha kwengqondo kungomunye wezinto eziyinhloko zokwelashwa kokuziphatha kwengqondo.

Isikhathi esiningi, ukuhlela kabusha ukuqonda kuyabambisana. Isiguli ngokujwayelekile sisebenza nodokotela ukukhomba amaphethini emicabango angalungile bese siwafaka ngezindlela ezinempilo, ezinembe kakhulu zokubheka izehlakalo nezimo.

Ukulungiswa kabusha kwengqondo kunganciphisa izimpawu zokukhathazeka nokudangala, futhi kungasiza ngezinkinga ezahlukahlukene zezempilo yengqondo.