Kungani i-Anorexia Nervosa Ingathinta Idrayivu Yakho Yezocansi nokuthi Yini Ongayenza Ngayo

-Delile

• Ukungondleki kuthinta ukusebenza kobuchopho
• Kwesinye isikhathi kumayelana nokudangala, kunokuba nenkinga yokudla uqobo
• Umlando wokuhlukunyezwa ungaba buhlungu
• Isimo somzimba esingesihle senza ucansi lube nzima
• Kungaba nje ukuthi ungubani
• ‘Ukungasebenzi ngokocansi’ kuyinkinga kuphela uma kuyinkinga yakho

Sifaka imikhiqizo esicabanga ukuthi ilusizo kubafundi bethu. Uma uthenga ngezixhumanisi ezikuleli khasi, singathola ikhomishini encane. Nansi inqubo yethu.

Nazi izizathu ezinhlanu zokuthi i-anorexia nervosa ingathinta i-sex drive yakho.

Ekwindla ka-2017, njengoba ngangizimisele ukuqhuba izingxoxo ngezocansi kwabesifazane abane-anorexia amanosa ngocwaningo lwami lweziqu zami, ngakwenza lokho ngazi ukuthi abesifazane bazokhuluma ngokuhlangenwe nakho kokuya ocansini okuphansi. Ngemuva kwakho konke, ucwaningo lukhombisa ukuthi lesi sizwe sithambekele ekubeni nemizwa yokugwema, ukuvuthwa, kanye nokuphikisana nokwenza ucansi.

Engikwenzile hhayi okulindelwe, kepha, bekungukuthi abesifazane bavame ukukhathazeka kangaki ukuthi lokhu okuhlangenwe nakho kuhlukile.

Ngokuphindaphindiwe, imizwa yokungajwayelekile ibingavela kulezi zingxoxo. Owesifazane othile uzibize ngokuthi "unamahloni futhi uyinto engeyinhle ngempela," futhi uze washo nokusho ukuthi ukungabi nentshisekelo kwezocansi kumenza "umuntu ohlanyayo." Omunye, ngemuva kokuchaza okwenzeka kuye, wahlehla, wathi, "Angazi nokuthi lokho kunengqondo kanjani noma kusebenza kanjani lokho."

Kuyaxaka kwakuyigama abesifazane ababevame ukuzichaza ngalo.

Kepha nansi into: Uma une-anorexia futhi uhlangabezana nokushayela ucansi okuphansi, ukhona hhayi kuyaxaka. Awuyena okungajwayelekile, okuhlekisayo, noma uyahlanya. Uma kukhona, empeleni umaphakathi.

Ukubuyekezwa kwezincwadi zango-2016 kwaphawula ukuthi, yize ucwaningo oluhlola ezocansi kwabesifazane abane-anorexia lincane, cishe zonke izifundo zathola ukuthi labo besifazane babenomsebenzi ophansi wezocansi.

Ngamafuphi: Kwabesifazane abane-anorexia, idrayivu yocansi ephansi ivame kakhulu.

Ngakho-ke uma utholwe une-anorexia nervosa futhi uthola ukuthi idrayivu yakho yocansi iphansi, nazi izizathu ezinhlanu zokuthi kungani lokhu kungaba njalo nokuthi yini ongayenza ngakho.

Ukungondleki kuthinta ukusebenza kobuchopho

Ake siqale encazelweni yomzimba. Okwenza i-anorexia ibe yingozi kakhulu ukuthi indlala iholela ekungondlekeni - futhi nengqondo engondlekile iphelelwa umsebenzi. Uma ungadli amakhalori anele ukugcina amazinga afanele wamandla, umzimba wakho uqala ukuvala amasistimu owonga.

Umphumela wendlala empilweni yomzimba uhlanganisa i-hypogonadism, noma ukwehluleka kwama-ovari ukusebenza kahle. Amazinga anciphile ama-hormone ahlobene nokusebenza kocansi - kufaka phakathi i-estrogen ne-progesterone, ekhishwa ama-ovari - angathinta i-sex drive yakho. Sivame ukucabanga ngalokhu maqondana nokuguga nokunqamuka kokuya esikhathini, kepha i-anorexia nayo ingadala lo mphumela.

Okufanele ukwazi Ngenhlanhla, kukhona indlela eya phambili uma ulwa, noma ululama, kwi-anorexia nervosa. Ucwaningo lukhombisa ukuthi ukutakula - ikakhulukazi, uma lokhu bekuyinkinga kuwe - kuxhunyaniswe nokwanda kokusebenza kwezocansi. Njengoba umzimba wakho uphulukisa, kanjalo nobulili bakho.

Kwesinye isikhathi kumayelana nokudangala, kunokuba nenkinga yokudla uqobo

Izizathu zokwehla kokushayela ucansi akudingeki zihlangane nenkinga yokudla uqobo, kodwa kunalokho ezinye izinto ezihambisana nokuphazamiseka kokudla. Ukucindezeleka, ngokwesibonelo, kukodwa, kungaba nomthelela omubi ekusebenzeni kocansi.

Futhi ngoba cishe amaphesenti angama-33 kuye kwangama-50 abantu abane-anorexia amanosa abanezinkinga zemizwelo - njengokucindezelwa - ngesinye isikhathi ezimpilweni zabo, futhi kungaba yinto eyisisekelo yokuthi kungani ukushayela kwakho ucansi kungaba phansi.

Ukwelashwa kwengcindezi nakho kungadlala indima nakho. I-serotonin reuptake inhibitors ekhethiwe (i-SSRIs) - isigaba semithi esivame ukusetshenziswa njenge-anti-depressants kanye nasekwelapheni ukuphazamiseka kokudla - baziwa ngokusebenza ngokocansi. Eqinisweni, imiphumela emibi ejwayelekile ingabandakanya ukunciphisa isifiso sobulili nobunzima bokufinyelela ku-orgasm.

Ongakwenza Ngenhlanhla, ochwepheshe bezokwelapha nabezengqondo bayazi kahle imiphumela emibi yezocansi yama-SSRI. Kufanele bazimisele ukusebenza nawe ukuthola izindlela zokwelashwa, kufaka phakathi imishanguzo - kungaba enye i-SSRI noma umuthi ohambisana nayo - ongasiza ekwenzeni ngcono impilo yakho. Futhi khumbula, uma udokotela wakho engakuthathi ngokungathi sína ukwaneliseka kwakho ngokocansi, unelungelo eliphelele lokuthola umhlinzeki wezempilo ohlukile.

Umlando wokuhlukunyezwa ungaba buhlungu

Ngenkathi ngenza olwami ucwaningo lweziqu zemibhalo, abangaphezu kwesigamu sababambe iqhaza abane-anorexia nervosa babalula okuhlangenwe nakho kokuhlukunyezwa ezimpilweni zabo - kungaba ngezocansi, ngokomzimba, noma ngokomzwelo, kungaba ebuntwaneni noma ebudaleni. (Futhi lokhu kuzwakale kuyiqiniso nakimi, njengoba ngathola inkinga yokudla ngenxa yobudlelwano nomlingani ohlukumezayo.)

Ngaphezu kwalokho, ababambiqhaza abafanayo bakhulume ngokuthi lokhu okuhlangenwe nakho kube nomthelela omkhulu kwezobulili babo.

Futhi lokhu akumangazi.

Abesifazane abaningi abanenkinga yokudla babe nokuhlangenwe nakho okudlule ngokuhlukumezeka, ikakhulukazi ukuhlukunyezwa ngokocansi. Eqinisweni, abasindile ekudlwengulweni kungenzeka babe namathuba amaningi okuhlangabezana nezindlela zokuxilonga ukuphazamiseka kokudla. Ucwaningo olulodwa luka-2004 lwathola ukuthi amaphesenti angama-53 kwabangu-32 abasinda ekuhlukunyezweni ngokocansi babhekana nezinkinga zokudla, uma kuqhathaniswa namaphesenti ayisithupha kuphela kwabesifazane abangama-32 abangenawo umlando wokuhlukunyezwa ngokocansi.

Ongakwenza Uma ulwa nobulili ngemuva kokuhlukumezeka, awuwedwa - futhi likhona ithemba. Ukuhlolwa kokugxila kwezinzwa, umkhuba ohilela ukuhamba kancane (kabusha) kokufaka ukuthinta inkanuko empilweni yomuntu ngendlela yamabomu, kungasiza. Lokhu, kepha, kufanele kwenziwe ngosizo lodokotela wezocansi.

Isimo somzimba esingesihle senza ucansi lube nzima

Kwabesifazane abaningi abane-anorexia, ukwenqena kwabo ukuya ocansini akusona isithiyo somzimba, futhi okuningi kungokwengqondo. Kunzima ukuzibandakanya ocansini lapho ungakhululekile ngomzimba wakho! Lokho kuyiqiniso ngisho nakwabesifazane abathi ungenzi banezinkinga zokudla.

Empeleni, olunye ucwaningo lwango-2001 luthole ukuthi, uma kuqhathaniswa nabesifazane abanemibono emihle ngemizimba yabo, labo ababhekana nokunganeliseki komzimba babika ubulili kanye ne-orgasm ejwayelekile. Abesifazane abanesimo somzimba esingesihle nabo babika induduzo encane ku:

• ukuqala umsebenzi wezocansi
• ekhumula phambi kozakwabo
• ukuya ocansini nezibani zikhanyisiwe
• ukuhlola imisebenzi emisha yezocansi

Ngisho nohlolo lweCosmopolitan luphawule ukuthi cishe ingxenye eyodwa kwezintathu yabesifazane ibika ukungakwazi ukwenza i-orgasm ngoba bagxile kakhulu ekubukekeni kwabo.

Kepha okuphambene nakho kuyiqiniso: Abesifazane abanesithombe esihle somzimba babika ukuzethemba okukhulu kwezocansi, ukuqiniseka okukhulu, nokushayela ubulili okuphezulu.

Ongakwenza Uma isithombe sakho somzimba singena endleleni yempilo eyanelisayo yocansi, ukugxila ekwelapheni lobo budlelwano kungaholela ekuthuthukisweni. Noma ngabe usebenza ngezithombe zomzimba nezinkinga zokuzethemba endaweni yokwelashwa, ukuya kumzila wokuzisiza ngezincwadi ukukusiza wehlise inzondo yomzimba (ngincoma uSonya Renee Taylor's Umzimba Awusona Ukuxolisa), noma ukuqala kancane ngokuhlukanisa okuphakelayo kwakho kwe-Instagram, ubudlelwane obujabulisayo nomzimba wakho bungaholela ebudlelwaneni obunempilo nezocansi.

Kungaba nje ukuthi ungubani

Ubuntu yisihloko esiphikisanayo: Ingabe kungokwemvelo? Ingabe ukunakekelwa? Siba kanjani yilokho esiyikho - futhi ingabe kubaluleke ngempela? Kule ngxoxo, kuyenzeka. Ngoba izici zobuntu ezifanayo ezivame ukuhlotshaniswa nokuxilongwa kwe-anorexia nazo zingaxhunyaniswa nokungathakazeleli kwezocansi.

Ku, abacwaningi bacela isampula labodokotela ukuthi bachaze iziguli zabo ezinenkinga yokudla. Abesifazane abane-anorexia bachazwe njenge- "prim / efanele" futhi "bancishisiwe / beqiwe" - futhi lobu buntu babikezela ukungakhuli ngokocansi. Ukuqaphela (ukugxila emicabangweni nasekuziphatheni), ukuzibamba, kanye nokuphelelisa okuyizici ezintathu zobuntu ezine-anorexia, futhi zingangena endleleni yokuthakazelelwa kwezocansi. Ubulili bungazizwa bungcolile kakhulu. Kungazizwa kungalawuleki. Kungase uzizwe uzitika. Futhi lokhu kungaholela ocansini uzizwe ungamenyiwe.

Lokho kusho, into okufanele uyikhumbule mayelana nokushayela ucansi ukuthi kwehluka ngokwemvelo kumuntu nomuntu. Abanye abantu banamandla aphezulu ezintshisekelo zocansi, kanti abanye abantu banesikhundla esiphansi. Kepha siyaqiniseka esikweni lethu le-hypersexual ukuthi ukuba sekupheleni akulungile noma akujwayelekile - kubalulekile ukukhumbula, noma kunjalo, ukuthi akunjalo.

Ubungqingili yinto engokoqobo Kwabanye, idrayivu yocansi ephansi ingahle ibangelwe ukuwela kububanzi be-asexuality - okungabandakanya yonke into kusuka kokuncane kuye kokuya entshisekelweni ethile kwezocansi. Kubalulekile ukukhumbula ukuthi lokhu kungukuhlangenwe nakho okusemthethweni kwezocansi. Akukho lutho ngokwemvelo akulungile nawe ngoba awunantshisekelo kwezocansi. Kungaba intandokazi yakho kuphela. Okubalulekile ukwazisa lokhu kubalingani bakho, ubalindele ukuthi bahloniphe izidingo zakho, futhi bathuthukise ubuntofontofo ngokuqeda ubudlelwano obungahambisani nocansi.

‘Ukungasebenzi ngokocansi’ kuyinkinga kuphela uma kuyinkinga yakho

Into ebaluleke kakhulu okufanele uyikhumbule mayelana "nokungasebenzi kahle kwezocansi" - igama elihluphayo kukodwa - ukuthi kuyinkinga kuphela uma kuyinkinga wena. Akukhathalekile ukuthi umphakathi ububheka kanjani ubulili "obujwayelekile". Akunandaba ukuthi abalingani bakho bafunani. Akunandaba ukuthi abangane bakho benzani. Okubalulekile uwena. Uma ukhathazekile ngezinga lakho lentshisekelo kwezocansi, ufanelwe ukuliphenya futhi uthole izixazululo. Futhi ngethemba, le ndatshana ikunikeza indawo yokuqala.

UMelissa A. Fabello, PhD, unguthisha wobufazi umsebenzi wakhe ugxile kwezombusazwe zomzimba, isiko lobuhle, nokuphazamiseka kokudla. Mlandele Twitter futhi Instagram.