Ungajabula Kanjani Ngempela

-Delile

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Yize sonke sazi ukuthi iyini injabulo, ukuyithola kuhlala kuyimfihlakalo kwabaningi bethu. Okungcono kakhulu ukuthi kunzima, isimo esijabulisayo esivuna lapho izimo zilungile. Kepha ucwaningo lwakamuva lukhombisa ukuthi injabulo ilungile kutholakale kalula. Ungayiqinisa futhi uyithuthukise, njengemisipha, uze ukwazi ukuyibiza nganoma yisiphi isikhathi-noma ngabe ujwayele ukubheka umbono wengilazi ongenalutho. "Ucwaningo lukhombisa ukuthi ikhono lethu lokuthola injabulo ngamaphesenti angama-50 athonywe izakhi zofuzo, amaphesenti ayi-10 ngemicimbi, namaphesenti angama-40 ngenhloso," kusho uDan Baker, Ph.D., umqondisi osungula iLife Enhancement Programme eCanyon Ranch, eTucson , Arizona. "Kuwumphumela ongaseceleni wokuphila ngenjongo, ukumela lokho okholelwa kukho, nokuthuthukisa amandla akho aphelele." Ngokwenza njalo, ungakhuphula isimo sakho sengqondo kuphela, kepha nempilo yakho. Ngenhlanhla, enye yezindlela ezilula zokuthola injabulo ukugqashula ezintweni ezicindezela nsuku zonke futhi ugxile ezintweni ezincane empilweni ezikulethela injabulo. Ukwenza kube lula kuwe, sihlanganise izinyathelo ezilula eziyishumi okufanele sizilandele.

Dlala amandla akho

"Njengoba ufuna ukwaneliseka, kungcono ukugxila kuzimpahla zakho kunokuba uzame ukunxephezela ubuthakathaka bakho," kusho uM.J. Ryan, umbhali Ama-Boosters angama-365 ezempilo nenjabulo. Uma ungaqiniseki ukuthi amakhono akho akuphi, naka izincomo ozitholayo. Ingabe abantu emsebenzini bathi unekhono lemibiko? Uma kunjalo, bheka amathuba okubhala. Futhi, khululeka ukuxoxa ngobungcweti onabo. Uma ibhodi lakho lomphakathi lifuna ukukhangisa umcimbi futhi wafunda ezokuxhumana ekolishi, khuluma! Ukubonisa ukuzethemba nokukuxhasa ngezenzo-kuvumela abanye ukuthi bakubone ngokukhanya kwakho okuhle, okudala umjikelezo omuhle, kusho uC Bakon Ranch's Baker. Lapho ukhuluma ngokwengeziwe ngamaphuzu akho aqinile, aba ngokoqobo ngokwengeziwe, uzizwa kangcono, futhi maningi amathuba okuthi uqhubeke ubeke unyawo lwakho phambili.

Thola umdlalo wokuzilibazisa

Uma ubonile ukuthi ukuzilibazisa okudala kungakwenza waneliseke kodwa ube nobunzima bokufaka eyodwa ohlelweni lwakho olugcwele, cabanga ngalokhu: "Ubuhlakani busiza abantu bazijwayeze nempilo ngokubenza bavumelane nezimo futhi bavuleleke kokuhlangenwe nakho," kusho uDean Keith Simonton, Ph. .D. "Lokhu-ke kukhuthaza ukuzethemba nokwaneliseka." Njengoba izinzuzo zivela kwinqubo kunomkhiqizo, awudingi ukupenda njengoPicasso ukuzwa umphumela. Uma isigaba sokudweba sibonakala sifisa kakhulu, engeza "ihora lokuvula" osukwini lwakho izikhathi eziningana ngesonto, kusikisela uSimonton. Ngaleso sikhathi, zama okuthile okuvusa ilukuluku lakho; mhlawumbe ukupheka iresiphi entsha noma ukufunda izinkondlo. Enye indlela yokwandisa ama-horizons wakho ukushintsha isimiso sakho. Zama indawo yokudlela ehlukile noma uthathe ikhonsathi kune-movie. Hlukana nokugaya kwansuku zonke futhi ubuke njengoba ingqondo yakho ikhula-futhi izinga lakho lenjabulo likhuphuka.

Yenza lula impilo yakho

Imali ayithengi injabulo. Eqinisweni, inhlama eyengeziwe ayigcini ngokuhluleka ukuletha injabulo ngemuva kokuhlangabezana nezidingo eziyisisekelo, empeleni iyayivimba. “Abantu abathi ukwenza imali eningi kubalulekile kubo basengozini enkulu yokucindezeleka, ukukhathazeka, nobuhlungu bekhanda—futhi mancane amathuba okuba babike ukuthi banelisekile ngezimpilo zabo,” kusho uTim Kasser, Ph.D., umbhali wezincwadi Intengo Ephakeme Yokuthanda Izinto Eziphathekayo. Ngokocwaningo luka-Kasser, ukuceba kwesikhathi- umuzwa wokuthi unesikhathi esanele sokuphishekela izinto ofuna ukuzenza-kuyisibikezelo esingcono sempilo eyanelisayo kunemali engenayo. Ukugwema ukucabanga ngezinto ezibonakalayo, beka izinhlu emgqonyeni wokuphinda usebenzise ngaphambi kokuziphophotha, noma uphakamise umngani ukuthi ubamba itiye kunasesitolo. Futhi uma lokho kugijimela okutholayo ngokuthenga ingubo entsha kungenelela, khumbula nje: "Lezo zinjabulo ziletha kuphela uhlobo lwenjabulo olunyamalala ngokushesha," kusho uKasser. "Ukuze uthole ukwaneliseka okuhlala njalo, udinga ukugxila kokuhlangenwe nakho, hhayi ezintweni."

Nquma, bese uqhubeka

Okuncane kuningi kakhulu uma kuziwa ekukhetheni. Izinketho eziningi kakhulu zingakukhubaza, zikwenze ukuthi uthathe isinqumo esingalungile, noma zikushiye uzifunela okwesibili. Ucwaningo lwakamuva olushicilelwe ku- Ijenali Yocwaningo Lwabathengi ithole ukuthi izitolo ezimbalwa abantu abaya kuzo, kwaba lula ngabo ukwenza izinqumo-futhi bazizwa benokuqukethwe okwengeziwe. "Uma sicabanga ukuthi kukhona okunye okukhangayo ngaphandle, ngisho nezinqumo zethu ezinhle zisishiya singenelisekile," kusho uBarry Schwartz, Ph.D., umbhali Indida Yokhetho. "Abantu abahlale befuna okungcono kakhulu kukho konke - kungaba umsebenzi, umngane womshado, noma ikhompyutha ephathekayo - bacindezelekile futhi abaneliseki kangako." Ukuze unciphise ukukhathazeka, ungaphinde uvakashele isinqumo uma sesenziwe. "Zitshele ukuthi kwanele ngokwanele," kusikisela uSchwartz. "Qhubeka nokuphinda imantra uze uyikholwe. Ekuqaleni izokukhathaza, kepha ngemuva kwamasonto ambalwa, uzozizwa ukhululekile." Ekugcineni, khawulisa umkhawulo wakho kokukhetha - noma ngabe ufuna owakwakhe umphefumulo noma owedwa. "Yenza umthetho: 'Amaphrofayili amathathu aku-inthanethi futhi ngiyakhetha, noma izitolo ezimbili bese ngiyanquma.' Ukuphela kwendaba. "

Yamukela iqiniso lokuthi abanye abantu ngeke bakuthande

Cha, akulula ukubhekana nombono wokuthi owesifazane ongaphezu kwama-cubicle amathathu akabonakali efudumele kuwe. Kepha uma uqhubeka nokuzikhathaza ngakho, kuzokuhlisela phansi-futhi ngeke kuwushintshe umbono wakhe. Nakuba ubungane buvimba ingcindezi, ubudlelwano obungebuhle bungaba izithiyo zangempela zenjabulo. "Uma uthatha ukwahlulela kwawo wonke umuntu enhliziyweni, udela ikhono lakho lokuzibona ngokucacile," kusho u-Baker. Ngokuzayo lapho uzithola ucabanga nge-nemesis yehhovisi lakho noma ukukhathazeka ngamazwana abekwe ngawe, ake ume isikhashana bese ukhumbula ukuncoma kwakho kokugcina okutholwe umuntu omethembayo. Zikhumbuze ukuthi unomqondo omuhle wesimilo sakho. Bese ucabanga ngezinto ozifezile leso sibuko esincomayo. Lesi senzo esilula sizokushintsha ube umngane wakho omkhulu futhi sikwenze uzizwe unamandla futhi ulawula.

Khulisa umbuthano wakho wabangani

"Ubudlelwano nabangane abaseduze bungenye yezindlela ezihamba phambili zenjabulo," kusho umlobi uM. "Lezi zibopho zisinikeza umqondo wenjongo futhi ziza nezinzuzo eziningi ezingokomzwelo njengoba kwenza umlingani othandana naye." Ukwengeza, ucwaningo lubonisa ukuthi abangani basigcina sinempilo, banciphisa ukukhathazeka, futhi bakhuthaze nokuphila isikhathi eside. Eqinisweni, ubungane bubaluleke kakhulu enhlalakahleni yowesifazane kangangokuthi okuphambene nobungane-ukuhlukaniswa nomphakathi-kuye kwatholakala ukuthi kulimaza impilo yomuntu njengoba ukubhema ugwayi kuyingozi, ngokusho kweNurses' Health Study yaseHarvard Medical School. Ukuze usebenzise kakhulu izibopho zakho kwabanye, beka amandla afanayo ebudlelwaneni bakho nabangane bakho njengoba ubungaba nobuhlobo nomunye obalulekile. Yibani nomdlandla, bekani isikhathi sokwenza imisebenzi ekhethekile ndawonye, ​​futhi nigcine nikwazana ezimpilweni zenu zansuku zonke. Umvuzo wakho? Abangane bakho bazokwenza okufanayo kuwe, okuzodala imizwa yokwesekwa, yokuba ngowakho, nokwaneliseka.

Gcizelela okuhle

Kunesizathu sokuthi abantu bakutshele ukuthi ume futhi uhogele ama-roses: Akuwona nje amakha embali enza ukuphila kube ngcono, kodwa futhi nokwazisa kwawo. "Ukubonga kuyitshe legumbi lenjabulo. Konke kumayelana nokubona okulungile ezimpilweni zethu esikhundleni salokho okungahambi kahle," kusho uRyan. Ocwaningweni olwenziwa eNyuvesi yaseMiami naseCalifornia, eDavis, abantu ababeyalwe ukuba bagcine amajenali okubonga, beqopha zonke izenzakalo ababebonga kuzo, babika amazinga aphezulu entshiseko, ithemba, namandla kunalabo abangawagcinanga amadayari anjalo. Sifundani? “Ungalindi ukuthi kwenzeke okuthile okukhulu ukuze uzizwe ujabule,” kusho uRyan. "Yenza wena ujabule ngokubona okuhle osekuvele kukhona. "Ukuze wenze kanjalo, qala isiko elilula. Bhala umusho onjengokuthi" Yiba nokubonga "esiqeshini sephepha bese usibeka ephaketheni lakho noma kwenye indawo ozoyibona. Isikhathi ngasinye uma uthinta noma ubona inothi, yisho into eyodwa oyithandayo. Ngaphambi kokuthi wazi, ukubonga kanye nenjabulo yansuku zonke-kuzozenzekela.

Qondanisa izinhloso zakho nezenzo zakho

Unezinhloso, ezinkulu nezincane; wenza uhlu lwezinto okufanele uzenze futhi ubeke izinto eziza kuqala. Manje kungani ungazizwa ugcwalisekile? "Sithola injabulo lapho sithola injabulo nencazelo kulokho esikwenzayo," kusho uTal Ben-Shahar, Ph.D., ofundisa isigaba esithandwayo se-positive-psychology saseHarvard. Ngamanye amagama, ungathi umndeni uza kuqala, kepha uma usebenza izinsuku ezingamahora ayi-14, udala ukungqubuzana kwangaphakathi okuqeda amathuba akho enjabulo. Ngenkathi abacwaningi abavela eNyuvesi yaseGeorgia behlola izimpilo zabantu abafinyelela kwikhulu, bathola enye yezinto ejwayeleke kakhulu kwabaneminyaka eyikhulu kwaba umqondo wenhloso abaqhubeka beyilandela. Uma usebenza amahora amade kodwa ufuna ukuchitha isikhathi esiningi usekhaya, qala ngokuphuma ehhovisi imizuzu engu-15 ngaphambi kwesikhathi usuku ngalunye uze ube lapho amahora angu-8 kuphela. Futhi esikhundleni sokulondoloza zonke izinsuku zakho zeholide ohambweni olulodwa, beka okumbalwa eceleni emicimbini yezingane zakho noma ukuchitha isikhathi santambama uxoxa nomlingani wakho.

Thulisa izinkulumo zakho ezinobuthi

Ngenkathi umphathi wakho ekubizela emhlanganweni omkhulu namhlanje ekuseni futhi wamaka impendulo yakho, ingabe uyiphindile le ndawo engqondweni yakho usuku lonke? Uma kunjalo, cishe unomkhuba wokubheka ukushiyeka kwakho—njengoba kwenza abesifazane abaningi, kusho uSusan Nolen- Hoeksema, Ph.D., umbhali wencwadi ethi Abesifazane Abacabanga Kakhulu: Ungakukhulula Kanjani Ukucabanga Ngokweqile futhi Ubuyise Impilo Yakho. "Ucwaningo lwami lukhombisa ukuthi ukucabanga ngamaphutha akho kukudonsela amehlo futhi kukunikeze isimo esingesihle neze. Inkinga eyodwa iholela kwenye bese iba kwenye, ngokuzumayo kubukeka sengathi impilo yakho yonke iyinkinga," kusho uNolen- UHoeksema. "Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, leli phethini likwenza ube sengcupheni yokudangala nokukhathazeka." Kepha kulula kunokubukeka kwephula umjikelezo. Yenza okuthile okusebenzayo futhi uzophoqeleka ukuthi uphinde ugxile: Hamba uyogijima, ngena kwenye yama-DVD akho owathandayo e-Pilates, noma uhlanze lawo makhabethe obuwadebeselele. Ngemuva kokuthi usule ingqondo yakho, thatha isinyathelo esincane sokunciphisa ukukhathazeka kwakho, kunokuhlala kukho. Usacabanga ngokusa kwakho ekuseni ehhovisi? Thumela i-imeyili emfushane kubasi wakho enezilungiso. Ukhathazekile ngokuxokozela emotweni yakho noma isimo se-akhawunti yakho yokonga? Yenza i-aphoyintimenti nomakhenikha noma umeluleki wezezimali. Isenzo esisodwa nje esincane singaphuma kuwebhu yokukhathazeka ezungeze wena.

Inyakazise!

Nakuba kuye kwafakazelwa kaningi ukuthi ukuzilolonga kuphakamisa isimo sakho sengqondo, kwakha imisipha, kuqinisa umzimba, futhi kuthuthukisa ikhwalithi yokulala, ngokuvamile sivumela isikhathi sethu sokuzivocavoca sishelele. Uma ishejuli eqinile ikuvimbela ukuthi ugweme ukunyonyoba, khumbula lokhu: Ucwaningo oluvela eNyuvesi yase-Northern Arizona luthole ukuthi amazinga wamandla, ukukhathala, nesimo sengqondo kuba ngcono ngemva kwemizuzu eyi-10 nje yokuzivocavoca okusesilinganisweni. Ngemuva kwama-20, imiphumela yaba mikhulu kakhulu. Lokhu kusho ukuthi izikhathi ezimbili noma ezintathu zokuvivinya umzimba usuku ngalunye zanele ukuthuthukisa isimo sakho sengqondo. Indlela enhle yokubakhama? Qala ukuhamba nsuku zonke, kusho uCedric X. Bryant, Ph.D., isikhulu esiphezulu sesayensi ye-American Council on Exercise. Uma wazi ukuthi ngeke uphume uwedwa, yenza iqembu lokuhamba nozakwenu uthathe ikhefu lemizuzu eyi-10 emini ukuzula uzungeze ibhilidi. Khuluma nabangane ngenkathi uhamba noma ugijima esikhundleni sokudla ngaphezulu, noma hamba inja yakho ngamabhulokhi ambalwa. Ibhonasi: Ukuxhumana kwakho nabanye kuzokwanda, okuzonikeza imizwa yakho umfutho ophindwe kabili.

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