Ubumama Bungiphoqa Ukuba Ngibhekane Nokukhathazeka Kwami - Futhi Ngifune Usizo

-Delile

• Ukuthola umelaphi
• Ukukhokha phambili
• Amathiphu omama abanezinkinga zokukhathazeka
• Yazi ukuthi ukukhathazeka kwakho, hhayi okwengane yakho
• Musa ukucela abantu obathandayo ukuthi benze okuthusayo
• Yamukela ukuthi uzozizwa ukhathazekile
• Thola usizo lochwepheshe
• Yenza isikhathi sokuzinakekela
• Ukuthola umelaphi

Impilo nokuphila kahle kuthinta ngamunye wethu ngokuhlukile. Le yindaba yomuntu oyedwa.

Umama uKim Walters * wazithola ngelinye ilanga ehlushwa yikhanda elibuhlungu, elikhathazayo elalingasoze laphela. Ukwazile ukugqokisa izingane ezimbili ezingathandisisi ukungena emotweni ukuze akwazi ukuziyisa kudokotela.

Njengomama ohlala ekhaya owayesebenza amatoho kude, ukujikisa izingane kwakuyinto yakhe ejwayelekile - kepha lolu suku lwamthwalisa kanzima.

“Inhliziyo yami yayishaya isifuba, ngezwa ngiphefumula kanzima, nomlomo wami wawungathi ukotini. Ngenkathi ngangazi ukuthi lezi zimpawu zokukhathazeka engangilwa nazo - futhi ngazifihla - impilo yami yonke, kwenzeka kimi ukuthi 'ngangizotholakala' uma ngangingakwazi ukuhlangana ngesikhathi ngifika ehhovisi likadokotela futhi bathathe ubungqabavu bami, ”kusho uKim.

Okwangeza ekukhathazekeni kwakhe ukuthi yena nomyeni wakhe babephuma ngendiza ngakusasa besuka eChicago beya ohambweni olungenazingane oluya ezweni lewayini laseCalifornia.

“Into ukuthi, uma uzikhathaza ngokukhathazeka okuzayo, kuzofika. Nangempela kwaba njalo, ”kusho uKim. "Ngahlaselwa uvalo okokuqala ehhovisi likadokotela lowo ngo-Okthoba 2011. Ngangingaboni, kwakudingeka ngihanjiswe esikalini, futhi umfutho wami wegazi wawusophahleni."

Ngenkathi uKim ehamba nohambo oluya eNapa Valley nomyeni wakhe, uthi kwaba yisikhathi sokushintsha kwempilo yakhe yengqondo.

“Lapho ngibuyela ekhaya, ngangazi ukuthi ukukhathazeka kwami ​​kwase kufinyelele eqophelweni eliphezulu futhi kwakungehli. Ngangingenaso isifiso sokudla futhi ngingalali ebusuku, kwesinye isikhathi ngivuka ngithukile. Bengingafuni nokufundela izingane zami (okuyinto ebengiyithanda kakhulu ukuyenza), futhi lokho bekukhubaza, ”uyakhumbula.

"Ngangesaba ukuya nomaphi lapho ngangikhona futhi ngazizwa ngikhathazekile, ngesaba ukuthi ngingahlaselwa ukwesaba."

Ukukhathazeka kwakhe kwahlasela cishe yonke indawo lapho eya khona - esitolo, kumtapo wezincwadi, emnyuziyamu wezingane, epaki, nangaphezulu. Kodwa-ke, wayazi ukuthi ukuhlala ngaphakathi nezingane ezimbili ezincane kwakungeyona impendulo.

“Ngakho-ke, ngangiqhubeka ngokungakhathalekile ukuthi ngangilele kangakanani izolo ebusuku noma ngangikhathazeke kangakanani ngalolo suku. Angizange ngime. Nsuku zonke kwakukhathaza futhi kugcwele ukwesaba, ”kukhumbula uKim.

Yilapho waze wanquma ukuthola usizo.

Ukuthola umelaphi

UKim ubefuna ukuthola ukuthi ukukhathazeka kwakhe kuhlanganiswe yini nezizathu zomzimba nezengqondo. Uqale ngokubona udokotela wokunakekelwa okuyisisekelo owathola ukuthi i-thyroid yakhe yayingasebenzi kahle futhi wanikeza nemithi efanele.

Ubuye wavakashela i-naturopath nodokotela wezokudla, owazama ukubheka ukuthi ukudla okuthile kumenze wakhathazeka yini.

"Ngangizizwa sengathi ngijaha okuthile ngoba lokhu akusizanga," kusho uKim.

Cishe ngaso leso sikhathi, udokotela wezokwelapha odidiyelwe wayalela uXanax ukuthi athathwe njengoba kudingeka lapho uKim ezwa ukuthi kunokwethuka okuzayo.

“Lokho bekungeke kungisebenzele. Ngangihlale ngikhathazekile, futhi ngangazi ukuthi le mithi yayilutha hhayi izixazululo zesikhathi eside, ”kuchaza uKim.

Ekugcineni, ukuthola umelaphi ofanele kwaba usizo kakhulu.

“Yize ukukhathazeka bekulokhu kukhona empilweni yami, ngikwenze iminyaka engama-32 ngingabonanga umelaphi. Ukuthola eyodwa kuzwakale kunzima, ngadlula kwezine ngaphambi kokuthi ngizinze kokunye okwangisebenzela, ”kusho uKim.

Ngemuva kokumxilonga ngokukhathazeka okujwayelekile, umelaphi wakhe wasebenzisa ukwelashwa kokuziphatha kwengqondo (CBT), okufundisa ukuthi uqambe kabusha imicabango engakusizi.

“Isibonelo,‘ Angisoze ngiphinde ngikhathazeke ’kwaba‘ Ngingaba nokujwayelekile okusha, kodwa ngingaphila nokukhathazeka, ’” kuchaza uKim.

Uchwepheshe uphinde wasebenzisa, okukubeka ekwesabeni kwakho futhi kukugcine ekugwemeni.

“Lokhu kube wusizo olukhulu. Umqondo wokwelashwa ngokuvezwa wukuzibeka obala ezintweni ozesabayo, kaninginingi, ngokuhamba kancane, ”usho kanje. "Ukuvezwa kaninginingi kwezinto ezisatshiswayo kusivumela ukuba 'sijwayele' ukukhathazeka futhi sifunde ukuthi ukukhathazeka uqobo akulona okwesabisayo."

Umelaphi wakhe wamnika umsebenzi wesikole. Isibonelo, selokhu ukuthathwa kwengcindezi yakhe yegazi kudale ukukhathazeka, uKim watshelwa ukuthi abuke amavidiyo we-blood pressure ku-YouTube, amhambise umfutho wegazi esitolo, abuyele ehhovisi likadokotela lapho ahlaselwa khona uvalo okokuqala futhi wahlala Igumbi lokulinda.

“Ngenkathi ngingena kwaJewel ngiyothatha umfutho wegazi wami kwakubonakala kuwubuwula ekuqaleni, ngabona ukuthi ngangikwenza kaninginingi, nganginokwesaba okuncane nokwesaba,” kusho uKim.

“Ngesikhathi ngibhekene nezinkinga zami zokwethuka, esikhundleni sokuzigwema, ezinye izimo ezinjengokuyisa izingane emnyuziyamu noma kumtapo wezincwadi nazo zaba lula. Cishe ngemuva konyaka ngisaba njalo, ngangibona ukukhanya. ”

UKim wavakashela umelaphi wakhe amahlandla ambalwa ngenyanga iminyaka emithathu ngemuva kokuhlaselwa uvalo okokuqala. Ngayo yonke intuthuko ayenzile, wezwa enesifiso sokusiza abanye abahlangabezana nokukhathazeka ukuthi benze okufanayo.

Ukukhokha phambili

Ku-2016, uKim ubuyele esikoleni ukuthola iziqu ze-master kwezenhlalakahle. Uthi bekungesiyo isinqumo esilula, kodwa ekugcineni kube yisona esingcono kunazo zonke aseke wazenza.

“Bengineminyaka engu-38 nginezingane ezimbili futhi ngikhathazekile ngemali nesikhathi. Futhi nganginovalo. Kuthiwani uma ngehluleka? Nokho, ngalesi sikhathi ngase ngazi ukuthi yini okufanele ngiyenze lapho okuthile kungithusa - kubhekane nakho, ”kusho uKim.

Ngokuxhaswa ngumyeni wakhe, umndeni, nabangane, uKim waphothula izifundo zakhe ngonyaka wezi-2018, futhi manje usebenza njengomelaphi ohlelweni lwabangalaliswa esibhedlela esibhedlela sezempilo e-Illinois lapho asebenzisa khona ukwelashwa kokuchayeka ukusiza abantu abadala abane-obsessive-compulsive personality disorder (OCPD ), post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), nokukhathazeka.

“Yize ngingemuva kakhulu kunakuqala, ukukhathazeka kwami ​​kusathanda ukuza phambili kwesinye isikhathi. Njengoba ngafunda ukukwenza ngesikhathi ingikhathaza kakhulu, ngiyaqhubeka nokuqhubeka naphezu kwakho, ”kuchaza uKim.

“Ukubuka abantu abasokola kakhulu ukwedlula engake ngabhekana nabo ngokwesaba okukhulu nsuku zonke kungikhuthaza ukuthi ngiqhubeke nokuphila nokukhathazeka kwami, futhi. Ngithanda ukucabanga ukuthi ngivele ngaphuma ezimeni zami zokubuswa ukwesaba nokukhathazeka - ngokubhekana nazo. ”

Amathiphu omama abanezinkinga zokukhathazeka

UPatricia Thornton, PhD, isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo esinelayisense eNew York City, uthi ukukhathazeka kanye nokuphazamiseka okuphoqelela ukucindezela (OCD) kuvame ukuvela cishe eminyakeni eyi-10 nengu-11 ubudala bese kuphinda kube mdala.

"Futhi, kunezikhathi empilweni yomuntu uma ene-OCD noma ukukhathazeka okuzoletha ukuqala okusha kwezimpawu," kusho uThornton etshela abeHealthline. "Kwesinye isikhathi abantu baye bakwazi ukubhekana ne-OCD noma ukukhathazeka futhi bakuphathe kahle, kepha lapho izidingo ezithile ziba ngokweqile kulapho i-OCD nokukhathazeka kungakhuphuka futhi kubangelwe khona."

NjengakuKim, ukuba ngumama kungaba esinye salezi zikhathi, kunezela uThornton.

Ukusiza ukuphatha ukukhathazeka ngesikhathi sokuba ngumama, uphakamisa okulandelayo:

Yazi ukuthi ukukhathazeka kwakho, hhayi okwengane yakho

Lapho usekujuleni kokukhathazeka, uThornton uthi zama ukungathumeli ukukhathazeka kwakho ezinganeni zakho.

"Ukukhathazeka kuyathathelana - hhayi njengegciwane - kepha ngomqondo wokuthi uma ukukhathazeka komzali, ingane yakhe izothatha lokho kukhathazeka," usho njalo. “Kubalulekile uma ufuna ukuba nengane eqinisayo ukuze ungadlulisi ukukhathazeka kwakho futhi uqaphele ukuthi kunjalo eyakho ukukhathazeka. ”

Okomama ukukhathazeka kwabo kubangelwa ukwesaba ukuphepha kwezingane zabo, uthi, "Kufanele usize ukunciphisa ukukhathazeka kwakho ukuze ukwazi ukunakekela izingane zakho kangcono. Ukuba ngumzali ongcono kuvumela izingane zakho ukuba zenze izinto ezesabekayo, noma ngabe inqubo yokufunda izindlela zokuhamba noma ukuhlola izinkundla zokudlala noma ukuthola izincwadi zokushayela. "

Musa ukucela abantu obathandayo ukuthi benze okuthusayo

Uma ukuhambisa izingane zakho epaki kubangela ukwesaba, kungokwemvelo ukucela omunye umuntu ukuthi azithathe. Kodwa-ke, uThornton uthi ukwenza lokho kuqhubekisela phambili ukukhathazeka.

“Izikhathi eziningi, amalungu omndeni azobandakanyeka ekwenzeni ukuphoqelelwa kwesiguli. Ngakho-ke, uma umama ethi, 'Angikwazi ukushintsha inabukeni lengane,' futhi ubaba uyakwenza njalo esikhundleni salokho, lokho kusiza umama ukuthi asebenzise ukugwema, "kuchaza uThornton.

Yize abantu abaningi befuna ukusiza ngokungenelela futhi banciphise ukukhathazeka kwakho, uthi okuhle kakhulu ukuthi ubhekane nakho ngokwakho.

“Lokhu kuyinkohliso ukuhamba ngoba ukuthanda abantu bafuna ukusiza, ngakho-ke nginabathandi bami abaya emihlanganweni [yokwelashwa] neziguli zami. Ngale ndlela ngingachaza okusizayo esigulini nokuthi yini engasizi. ”

Isibonelo, angahle asikisele ukuthi othandekayo athi kumama okhathazekile: “Uma ungeke ukwazi ukuphuma endlini, ngingakulanda izingane, kodwa lesi yisixazululo sesikhashana. Kufanele uthole indlela yokukwazi ukuzenzela. ”

Yamukela ukuthi uzozizwa ukhathazekile

UThornton uchaza ukuthi ukukhathazeka kungokwemvelo ngezinga elithile, njengoba uhlelo lwethu lwezinzwa oluzwelayo lusitshela ukuthi silwe noma sibaleke lapho sibona ingozi.

Kodwa-ke, lapho ingozi ebonwayo ingenxa yemicabango elethwe yisifo sokukhathazeka, uthi ukulwa nakho kuyimpendulo engcono.

“Ufuna ukuqhubeka nje futhi uvume ukuthi ukhathazekile. Isibonelo, uma isitolo noma ipaki kuyingozi ngoba ubunokuphendula okuthile ngesikhathi ulapho okukwenze wakucasula kwaqala nozwela lwakho, [kufanele wazi ukuthi] ayikho ingozi yangempela noma kudingeka ubaleke , ”Usho kanje.

Esikhundleni sokugwema isitolo noma ipaki, uThornton uthi kufanele ulindele ukuthi uzizwe ukhathazekile kulezo zindawo futhi uhlale naso.

“Yazi ukuthi ukukhathazeka ngeke kukubulale. Uba ngcono ngokuthi 'Kulungile, sengiyaqala ukukhathazeka, futhi ngiyaphila.' ”

Thola usizo lochwepheshe

UThornton uyabona ukuthi zonke iziphakamiso zakhe akuwona umsebenzi olula, futhi imvamisa zidinga usizo lochwepheshe.

Uthi ucwaningo lukhombisa ukuthi i-CBT ne-ERP zisebenza kakhulu ekwelapheni iziyaluyalu zokukhathazeka, futhi zeluleka ngokuthola umelaphi osebenza ngazo zombili.

"Ukuvezwa kwemicabango kanye nemizwa [ebangela ukukhathazeka] nokuvimbela ukuphendula, okusho ukuthi ungenzi lutho ngakho, kuyindlela engcono kakhulu yokwelapha ukuphazamiseka kokukhathazeka," kusho uThornton.

“Ukukhathazeka akuhlali ezingeni elifanayo. Uma uyiyeka nje, izozihambela yodwa. Kodwa [kulabo abanezinkinga zokukhathazeka noma i-OCD], imicabango nemizwa iphazamisa kakhulu umuntu aze acabange ukuthi kukhona adinga ukukwenza. ”

Yenza isikhathi sokuzinakekela

Ngaphezu kokuthola isikhathi kude nezingane zakho nesikhathi sokuzijabulisa, uThornton uthi ukuzivocavoca umzimba kungaba nomthelela omuhle kulabo abanenkinga nokudangala.

“Izimpawu zokukhathazeka ezinjengezinhliziyo ezigijimayo, ukujuluka nokuba nekhanda konke kungaba yimiphumela yokuzivocavoca umzimba okukhulu. Ngokuzivocavoca umzimba, uvuselela ubuchopho bakho ukuze ubone ukuthi uma ukugijima kwenhliziyo yakho, akudingeki ukuthi kuhlotshaniswe nengozi, kodwa kungabangelwa nokusebenza futhi, ”kuchaza yena.

Ubuye aveze ukuthi ukuvivinya umzimba nge-cardio kungakhuphula imizwa.

"Ngitshela iziguli zami ukuthi zenze i-cardio kathathu noma kane ngesonto," esho.

Ukuthola umelaphi

Uma unentshisekelo yokukhuluma nothile, i-Anxiety and Depression Association of American inokhetho lokusesha lokuthola owelapha wendawo.

*Igama lishintshelwe ubumfihlo

UCathy Cassata ungumbhali ozimele ogxile ezindabeni eziphathelene nempilo, impilo yengqondo nokuziphatha kwabantu. Unekhono lokubhala ngomzwelo nokuxhumana nabafundi ngendlela enokuqonda nebandakanyayo. Funda kabanzi ngomsebenzi wakhelapha.