Ungabhekana Kanjani ne-Pent-Up Anger

-Delile

• Izimbangela
• Izimpawu
• Ukwelashwa
• Ungayinqanda kanjani futhi uyilawule kanjani intukuthelo
• Shintsha imvelo yakho
• Kusebenze
• Inselele ukucabanga kwakho
• Prakthiza izivivinyo zokuphumula
• Sebenzisa ubuciko bokudala
• Ukubonana nodokotela nini
• Okubalulekile

Sonke sizwa umuzwa wokuthukuthela. Mhlawumbe intukuthelo ebhekiswe esimweni noma komunye umuntu, noma mhlawumbe impendulo yakho ekusabeleni okubonakalayo, okungokoqobo noma cha.

Akunandaba ukuthi yini ebangela ukuthi uzizwe uthukuthele, yindlela oyisingatha ngayo ebaluleke kakhulu.

Kodwa kwenzekani lapho intukuthelo ithatha indawo futhi ungakwazi ukuthola indlela yokubhekana nokukhulula le mizwa?

Uma lokhu kwenzeka, umphumela yilokho ochwepheshe abavame ukubhekisela kukho njengokufutheka okufuthelene, noma intukuthelo eye yabanjwa futhi ayaziswa. Lolu hlobo lwentukuthelo lungathinta impilo yakho yengqondo nengokwenyama. Yingakho kubalulekile ukukhomba, ukubhekana, nokudlulisa ukwedlula le mizwa.

Izimbangela

Uma wake wahlangabezana nentukuthelo edlule noma uke waba seduze komuntu obhekene nayo, ungahle uzibuze ukuthi yini ebangela le mizwa eyeqile engathatha umzimba nengqondo yakho.

Ngokusho kukaKathryn Moore, i-PhD, isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo eProvidence Saint John's Child and Family Development Centre, intukuthelo engenzeka ingenzeka njengo:

• ukucasuka
• ukungahlaliseki kwangaphakathi
• ukudabuka
• ukukhungatheka

Ngenkathi izimbangela zomuntu ngamunye zingahluka, uMoore uthe kunezimbangela ezivamile zentukuthelo efuthelene, njengokuzizwa ungazwakali noma ungaziswa, ukungamukelwa kwesimo, noma izidingo ezingafinyelelwanga.

Abanye abantu bangase babhekane nentukuthelo lapho belimele. "Esikhundleni sokuzizwa besengozini yobuhlungu bokuzwa ubuhlungu, kunalokho bazizwa bethukuthele futhi bavame ukuzwa isifiso sokulimaza abanye," kuchaza uMoore.

Futhi, uMoore uthe ukudangala nokukhathazeka kuyizibonelo zentukuthelo engachazwanga, ngoba intukuthelo ephendukele ngaphakathi imvamisa ukuletha ukuzizonda, okudala ukucindezeleka.

Okuhlangene zonke lezi zimo kungukuhlangenwe nakho kwentukuthelo ngaphandle kokuveza noma ukubhekana nemizwa. Uma lokhu kwenzeka, intukuthelo ivunyelwe ukubila ngaphakathi, okuholela entukuthelweni efuthelene.

Ngenkathi intukuthelo iwumuzwa ovumelekile, uMoore uthe esikhathini esiningi akusisebenzisi noma kusisize sibambelele kukho.

Izimpawu

Isinyathelo sokuqala sokubhekana nentukuthelo efakiwe ukufunda ukuthi ungabona kanjani uma kwenzeka.

"Uma ubambelele entukuthelweni, ungazithola ulingisa nabanye, imvamisa ongabazi, noma nalabo lapho ungaphunyuka kalula khona," kuchaza u-Alisa Ruby Bash, PsyD, LMFT.

Lo mphumela yindlela ejwayelekile yokuzivikela ebizwa ngokuthi ukufuduka. Isibonelo ulaka lomgwaqo lapho mhlawumbe inkinga yangempela ukuthi uthukuthele umphathi wakho, kusho uBash.

Ezinye izimpawu okufanele uzibheke zihlanganisa:

• ukulala kabi
• ukuzizwa onqenqemeni
• ukucasuka kalula
• ukukhungatheka nokucasuka ezimweni ezincane
• ukugxeka noma ukulimaza abanye

Ukwelashwa

Ukwazi nokwamukela ukuthi unentukuthelo efakiwe kuyisinyathelo esibalulekile sokubhekana nakho.

Ngokwasemtholampilo, uBash uthe, kunempilo ukuthola usizo lochwepheshe ngomelaphi ukukusiza uqonde futhi wamukele lokho othukuthele ngakho.

"Ngokuzivocavoca, ungafunda ukukhuluma iqiniso, usebenzise izwi lakho eliyiqiniso, futhi uzwakalise ulaka ngokufanele okwamanje," engeza.

Futhi, ukuqonda umthombo wentukuthelo kungakusiza ukuba ubhekane nalesi simo noma umuntu othintekayo.

“Lokhu kungabonakala njengokuxoxa nomuntu okuzwise ubuhlungu, noma kungaba ukuveza imizwa yakho futhi ucabange ngalokho ophethe kukho nalokho ongakwazi ukukushintsha,” kuchaza uMoore.

Ungayinqanda kanjani futhi uyilawule kanjani intukuthelo

Ukufunda ukuthi ungavimbela kanjani futhi ulawule intukuthelo evuthayo kungakusiza ukuthi wakhe amasu amasha wokubhekana nokukhungatheka, ukulimala, futhi ekugcineni ulaka olwenzeka ngenxa yalezi zimo.

Izindaba ezimnandi kunezindlela ezahlukahlukene zokufunda ukuthi ungaluvimba kanjani lolu hlobo lwentukuthelo ekwakheni impilo yakho yansuku zonke. Nawa amasu ambalwa ongawenza uwedwa:

Shintsha imvelo yakho

Kwesinye isikhathi ushintsho emvelweni lwanele ukusiza ukuvimbela imizwa yolaka ekucindezelweni. Ngokwakha ibanga lomzimba phakathi kwakho nomuntu noma isimo esidala ulaka lwakho, ungathola isikhala osidingayo ukuze wehlise umoya uye phambili.

Ngenkathi ukuzihlukanisa unomphela kungahle kungabi inketho, noma ikhefu lesikhashana kusuka ku-trigger lingakusiza ukuthi ubhekane nentukuthelo evuthayo.

Kusebenze

Ukuvivinya umzimba kuyisu elihle kakhulu lokubhekana nolaka.

Noma ngabe ushaya umgandayo ngokuhamba ibanga lamamayela amahlanu, uhamba ngebhayisikili emahlathini, noma ucindezela isisindo esithile ejimini, ukuhambisa umzimba wakho kungakusiza ukuthi unciphise, unciphise ukucindezeleka futhi ushise noma yikuphi ukungezwani okwengeziwe obhekene nakho .

Uzothola futhi ibhonasi eyengeziwe yokwenza okuthile okuhle empilweni yakho.

Inselele ukucabanga kwakho

Lapho bebhekene nentukuthelo, izazi zokusebenza kwengqondo zivame ukusebenzisa indlela ebizwa ngokuthi ukulungiswa kwengqondo okukukhuthaza ukuthi ubeke imicabango engemihle ngemicabango enengqondo.

Lokhu kuguquka kwengqondo kukusiza ukuthi wehlise imicabango yakho, ungene kulogic, futhi, ekugcineni, ushintshe izimfuno zakho zibe yizicelo.

Prakthiza izivivinyo zokuphumula

Uma ukwazi ukuziqeqesha wehlise ijubane futhi uzijwayeze ukuphefumula okujulile, kungenzeka ukuthi udedele olunye ulaka obhekene nalo.

Isu elilodwa lokuzama lifaka ukusebenzisa ukuphefumula okugxile. Cabanga ngalokhu njengokuphefumula kwesisu okujulile, okujulile. Kungumqondo omuhle ukukujwayela lokhu uma uzolile ukuze wazi ukuthi ungakwenza kanjani lapho ukudinga kakhulu.

Sebenzisa ubuciko bokudala

Enye yezindlela zokufunda ukuphatha intukuthelo ngendlela enempilo ukusebenzisa isitolo sobuciko bokudala. UBash uchaze ukuthi imvamisa, umculo, ukudweba, ukudansa, noma ukubhala kungaba amathuluzi amahle wokuveza imizwa engaba nzima noma ibe namandla.

Ukubonana nodokotela nini

Kwesinye isikhathi amasu owasebenzisayo ukubhekana nentukuthelo oyifakile uwedwa awasebenzi futhi udinga ukufinyelela kosizo lochwepheshe.

Nawa amanye amafulegi abomvu okufanele uwaqaphele lapho uzama ukuthola ukuthi ngabe intukuthelo obhekene nayo ifinyelele eqophelweni lokungenelela kochwepheshe:

• ubandakanyeka ekuziphatheni okuzilimazayo
• uzithola ukhombisa ukuthukuthela kulabo obabona bengenamandla noma bengenamandla
• awukwazi ukwehlisa ulaka noma ukwamukela isimo
• intukuthelo yakho isiqala ukuthinta ubudlelwano bakho nokukwazi kwakho ukujabula noma ukusondelana nabanye

Lapho uzithola ukulesi sikhundla, kubalulekile ukwazi ukuthi ungazifunela kuphi izinsiza, ikakhulukazi uma ulaka lwakho lubonakala lungalawuleki.

Uma ufuna ukuthola udokotela osebenzisa ukwelashwa kokuziphatha okuqondayo, okuyindlela yokwelashwa edumile, i-Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies inikeza insiza eku-inthanethi ukukusiza uthole uchwepheshe endaweni yangakini.

I-American Psychological Association nayo inethuluzi eliku-inthanethi ukukusiza ukuthi ukutholele isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo esifanele.

Okubalulekile

Intukuthelo yinto ejwayelekile empilweni. Eqinisweni, kubhekwa njengomzwelo womuntu ojwayelekile ngokuphelele. Kepha uma uzithola uzizwa uthukuthele kaningi, ikakhulukazi ngezimo ezedlule, kubalulekile ukuthi uyisebenzise le mizwa futhi uzixolele wena nabanye ngokwenzekile.

Kwesinye isikhathi, ukwazi ukuthi ungakwenza kanjani lokhu kungaba yinselele. Yingakho ukwazi ukubona izimbangela bese ufunda ukuthi ungazibhekana kanjani nazo ngendlela enempilo kuyisu elibalulekile lokuvimbela intukuthelo evuthayo.