Ukuya ocansini kodokotela besilisa kusenzeka - nezidingo zokuma

-Delile

• Kepha eminyakeni embalwa edlule, ngihlangabezane nokugijimela okubi okuningi nodokotela besilisa abangishiye ngizizwa ngiphuliwe.
• Njengomuntu owake wahlaselwa ukuhlukunyezwa ngokocansi, lezi zimo ezithile zazizwa njengokudlala kwamandla acashile.
• Futhi njengoba kuvela, ngikude kungedwa kuphela oye wehlelwa into enjengale.
• Ngabe siyadlala ukuze sithole esikudingayo? Noma ngabe sizibeka engcupheni yokubonakala ‘njengabanzima’ futhi engabeka impilo yethu engcupheni?
• Yize kulula (futhi kuyaqondakala) ukuzizwa ngingenamandla kulezi zimo, sengiqale ukubuyela emuva.
• Ngiyabonga kodokotela besilisa enginabo abagcina indawo ephezulu futhi banikeza ukunakekelwa okuhle kakhulu, bengiqinisekisa ukuthi ngiyakwazi futhi kufanele ngizizwe ngiphephile njengesiguli.

Ngabe udokotela wesifazane ubengancokola ngekhono lakhe lokuziphatha kahle phambi kwami ​​ngaphandle kwempelesi ongumhlengikazi?

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Muva nje, ngilingwe ukuba ngiyeke ngokuphelele odokotela besilisa.

Angikakafiki.

Akukhona ukuthi ngeke ngibonane nodokotela besilisa, ngoba ngizo. Ngisababona ngoba ngikhumbula abanye odokotela besilisa abakhulu abangisizile kakhulu kulo lonke uhambo lwami lwezempilo.

Ngicabanga ngesazi sami se-gastroenterologist, obehlale eza kimi ngokufanele, futhi obenomusa nenhlonipho ebudlelwaneni bakhe nami.

Ngicabanga nodokotela wami wesikhumba, obengeyilutho ngaphandle kongcweti ngenkathi enginikeza isheke elijwayelekile lesikhumba - {textend} inqubo yenqubo yomzimba yonke eyemvelo ngokwemvelo.

Labodokotela kube yibo abahle.

Kepha eminyakeni embalwa edlule, ngihlangabezane nokugijimela okubi okuningi nodokotela besilisa abangishiye ngizizwa ngiphuliwe.

Izikhathi eziningi kakhulu, ngihlangane nodokotela besilisa abacabanga ukuthi kulungile ukunikeza umbono oqondile, ocwasayo ngokobulili - {textend} uhlobo lokuphawula oluzwakala njengokugunyazwa kwamandla, noma okusho ukuzinza okwabiwe okungekho empeleni kwabiwe.

Lokhu kufaka phakathi i-OB-GYN yesilisa, okwathi, ngemuva kokubukeza umlando wami, yathi: “Awu, kumele ngabe ubusendle uhlanya, ha?”

Ngangimangele. Bengingenawo amagama okwamanje - {textend} kodwa cha, bengingakaze ngibe nobudlova futhi ngihlanye ngineminyaka engu-18. Ngangihlukunyezwe ngokocansi.

Ngangithule ngize ngifike ekhaya, ngingene embhedeni wami, ngizibuze ukuthi ngikhalelani.

Lolu hlobo lwe- “micro-misogyny” luvame kakhulu kwamanye amahhovisi odokotela besilisa, umongo lapho isiguli-udokotela onamandla angivele asishiye sizizwa sisengozini futhi singenamandla.

Bekukhona nokuphawula okuvela kumfundi oqeqeshayo nowenza izifundo zobudokotela - {textend} bobabili amadoda - {textend} ehhovisi lodokotela besikhumba sami, owathi kimi: “Ngizohamba ngiphathele umhlengikazi umphathi ukuze aqiniseke ukuthi siziphatha kahle , ”Sengathi kunethuba lokuthi ngeke" baziphathe "nami.

Bengihleli nginqunu phambi kwabo, ngigcinele ingubo ezacile yamaphepha emboze umzimba wami. Bengingazizwa ngingaphephile phambilini, kepha angizange ngizizwe ngiphephile manje.

Ngabe udokotela wesifazane ubengancokola ngaye wakhe ikhono lokuziphatha kahle phambi kwami ​​ngaphandle kwempelesi ongumhlengikazi? Angikwazi ukuzibamba ngikholwa ukuthi amathuba mancane.

Njengomuntu owake wahlaselwa ukuhlukunyezwa ngokocansi, lezi zimo ezithile zazizwa njengokudlala kwamandla acashile.

Kungani lo mfundi oqeqeshwayo futhi ofundela ubudokotela ezwe isidingo sokuhleka izindleko zami? Ukuzenza zikhululeke ngokwengeziwe ngeqiniso lokuthi kungenzeka usebenzise ithuba lami uma bekungadingeki ukuba nomhlengikazi ekamelweni ngaleso sikhathi?

Kusamele ngithole inhloso yabo, kepha ngingahlanganyela ukuthi ihlaya alizange lifike. Hhayi mina, okungenani.

Bengilokhu ngimncane ku-4'11 ”, futhi ngibe ngowesifazane okhulumela phansi futhi. Ngineminyaka engama-28 futhi ngisabukeka kahle. Konke lokho ukusho, ngicabanga nje ukuthi bangibuka njengomuntu abangabeka la mazwi kuye.

Umuntu ongasho lutho. Umuntu ongayivumela ishelele.

Njengoba ngike ngaphila ngokuhlukunyezwa ngokocansi okuhlala isikhathi esedlule, lawa mazwana anemibala ikakhulukazi. Zibangele futhi zavuselela izinkumbulo ezindala ngesikhathi umzimba wami ususwa kimi ngaphandle kwemvume yami.

Njengesiguli, iningi lethu selivele lizizwa lingenakuzisiza futhi lisengozini. Ngakho-ke kungani le "banter" yezocansi yenziwa ijwayelekile njengoba iklanyelwe ukwenza abesifazane bazizwe bengenamandla nangaphezulu?

Iqiniso ukuthi, angifuni ukubonakala ngithambekele ngokweqile, kepha iqiniso lihlala likhona: Lawa mazwana awalungile futhi akufanele abekezelelwe.

Futhi njengoba kuvela, ngikude kungedwa kuphela oye wehlelwa into enjengale.

U-Angie Ebba ungixoxela indaba yakhe: “Ngenkathi ngisetafuleni lokuzalwa, ngisanda kuhlinzwa futhi ngihambise umntwana oyinduna, u-OB-GYN wami wesilisa, obesenqubeni yokuthunga lapho ngangidabuke khona, wabheka umyeni-ke wathi, 'Ufuna ngifake umthungo womyeni?' wahleka. ”

Ungitshela ukuthi umyeni wakhe wayengenalwazi lokuthi udokotela wayekhuluma ngani, kodwa lokho wakwenza.

Ngokusobala, wayencokola ngokufaka umthungo owengeziwe ukwenza indawo yakhe yangasese ibe ncanyana, ngakho-ke ijabulise kakhulu owesilisa ngesikhathi socansi.

Uthi, "Ukube bengingakhathali kangako (futhi uyazi, hhayi phakathi kokuthola ama-suture) ngiyaqiniseka ukuthi bengizomkhahlela ekhanda."

Omunye wesifazane, uJay Summer, uhlanganyela nami into efanayo, noma lokhu kwenzeka kuye lapho eneminyaka eyi-19.

UJay uthi: “Ekuqaleni ukuvakasha kwami ​​kwakuvamile ngize ngicele ukulawulwa kokuzalwa.

"Ngiyakhumbula ukuthi wavele wajiyiza futhi izwi lakhe lalingahlulela kahle lapho ebuza," Ushadile? ' kube sengathi uthuke ngokuphelele umuntu ongashadile angafuna ukuvikela inzalo. Ngithe cha wangibuza ukuthi ngineminyaka emingaki wabubula, njengokuthi [ukuba neminyaka engu-19 ubudala nokufuna inzalo] bekuyinto enyanyeka kunazo zonke ezake zenzeka. ”

Lezi zikhathi ze-'mic-misogyny 'zibeka abesifazane endaweni engenakwenzeka.

Ngabe siyadlala ukuze sithole esikudingayo? Noma ngabe sizibeka engcupheni yokubonakala ‘njengabanzima’ futhi engabeka impilo yethu engcupheni?

Asinaso njalo isikhathi sokuthatha umsebenzi futhi, noma ukunethezeka ukuphuma ehhovisi likadokotela futhi sithole omunye umuntu - {textend} omunye udokotela kwinethiwekhi yethu, ngaphansi kohlelo lwethu lomshuwalense, ngayo leyo nyanga sidinga izimpendulo zemibuzo ephuthumayo yezokwelapha ephathelene nemizimba yethu.

Asinakho ukunethezeka kokuphuma ngoba lokho esikufunayo (imiphumela yethu yokuhlolwa, izimpendulo zemibuzo yethu, incwadi kadokotela) kubanjwe ngaphezu kwamakhanda ethu, futhi kufanele sidlale kahle ukuze sikuthole.

Kuba ukusinda ngendlela: Uma ngikwazi ukudlula kulokhu, uma ngingavele ngisho lutho, mhlawumbe ngizozithola izimpendulo engizidingayo futhi ngiqhubeke ngosuku lwami.

Kulokhu okunamandla, odokotela besilisa banamandla. Bangasho abakufunayo, futhi mhlawumbe, kuncane okungenziwa ukuguqula lokho uma ufuna ukuthi izidingo zakho zihlangatshezwe.

Kuyinkambo yesithiyo akekho umuntu wesifazane okufanele ahambise indlela yakhe ekuphishekeleni impilo yakhe.

Yize kulula (futhi kuyaqondakala) ukuzizwa ngingenamandla kulezi zimo, sengiqale ukubuyela emuva.

Odabeni lowesilisa wami u-OB-GYN, ngambikela umnyango wezempilo wombuso wami owangilandela wangiphenya kabanzi ngalolu daba.

Ngokuqondene nomhlali, ngithumele i-dermatologist yami nge-imeyili ukuze ngichaze lesi simo futhi ngiphakamise ukuthi, ngoba uyaqeqeshwa nasendaweni yokufunda, othile umfundisa okuthe xaxa mayelana nendlela esezingeni lokulala embhedeni kanye nobudlelwano obufanele besiguli.

Eziphendulela, udokotela wami ushaye ucingo exolisa futhi wangazisa ukuthi ukhulumile nomhlali ngalesi simo nokuthi sithathwa ngokungathi sína.

Akukaze kube umgomo wami omsulwa ukujezisa noma ukujezisa. Kepha kuyinto inhloso yami ukufundisa nokulungisa, nokwazisa udokotela noma umqeqeshi oqeqeshayo ukuthi azi uma kwenzeka okuthile okungafanelekile.

Futhi ekugcineni kosuku, kuzuzisa wonke umuntu.

Kungasiza ekuqinisekiseni ukuthi odokotela bagwema izinyathelo ezingezinhle zesikhathi esizayo, iziguli ezilahlekile, noma imizila emibi engaba khona. Futhi ngandlela thile, ngizizwa nginamandla okwazi ukuthi lezi zinhlobo zamazwana abangela ukulimaza (ngethemba) ngeke aqhubeke noma aqhubeke nokulimaza abanye besifazane ngendlela abangilimaze ngayo.

Yize kungazweli ngokwanele ngaso sonke isikhathi, lezi yizinhlobo zezenzo engizenzayo: ukukhuluma, ukushintsha odokotela, nokufaka izikhalazo lapho kwenzeka i- "micro-misogyny".

Ngiyabonga kodokotela besilisa enginabo abagcina indawo ephezulu futhi banikeza ukunakekelwa okuhle kakhulu, bengiqinisekisa ukuthi ngiyakwazi futhi kufanele ngizizwe ngiphephile njengesiguli.

Futhi uma udokotela wesilisa eqa umugqa manje, ngenze iphuzu lokuthi ngibaphendule lapho ngikwazi.

Ngibabambe babe sezingeni eliphakeme ngoba ngikholelwa ukuthi zonke iziguli - {textend} ikakhulukazi abesifazane nabasindile ekuhlukunyezweni ngokocansi— {textend} bafanelwe ukunakekelwa okungcono kakhulu.

U-Annalize Mabe ungumbhali futhi unguthisha waseTampa, eFlorida. Njengamanje ufundisa e-University of South Florida.