Umsizi Wokumaketha oneminyaka engama-26 olwela ukuphuma endlini njalo ekuseni

-Delile

• Uqale nini ukubona ukuthi unezinkathazo?
• Ukukhathazeka kwakho kubonakala kanjani emzimbeni?
• Ukukhathazeka kwakho kubonakala kanjani ngokwengqondo?
• Yiziphi izinhlobo zezinto ezibangela ukukhathazeka kwakho?
• Ulawula kanjani ukukhathazeka kwakho?
• Impilo yakho ibizobukeka kanjani ukube ukukhathazeka kwakho bekulawulwa?

"Ngivame ukuqala usuku lwami ngokuhlaselwa ukwethuka esikhundleni sekhofi."

Ngokwambula ukuthi ukukhathazeka kuzithinta kanjani izimpilo zabantu, sethemba ukusabalalisa uzwela, imibono yokubhekana nesimo, nengxoxo evulekile ngokwengeziwe ngempilo yengqondo. Lo ngumbono onamandla.

C, ongumxhumanisi womphakathi kanye nomsizi wokuxhaswa kwezokumaketha eGreensboro, eNyakatho Carolina, uqale wabona ukuthi ubenexhala lapho imizwa yomhlangano wesikole imthumelela. Kusukela lapho ubelokhu enenkinga enkulu, ecishe ibe njalo yokukhathazeka emvimbela ukuthi aphile impilo ayifunayo.

Nayi indaba yakhe.

Uqale nini ukubona ukuthi unezinkathazo?

Kunzima ukusho lapho ngiqala ukubona ukuthi nginokukhathazeka. Ngangihlala ngikhathazekile, ngisho ngiseyingane, ngokusho kukamama. Ngakhula ngazi ukuthi ngangizwela kakhulu kunabantu abaningi, kepha umqondo wokukhathazeka wawungaziwa kimi ngaze ngaba neminyaka eyi-11 noma eyi-12. Ngalesi sikhathi, kwakudingeka ngenze ukuhlolwa okungajwayelekile, kosuku lonke ngemuva kokuba umama wami ethole lokuzilimaza kwami.

Ngicabanga ukuthi yilapho ngiqale ukuzwa igama elithi “ukukhathazeka,” kepha alizange lichofoze ngokugcwele kuze kube cishe unyaka kamuva lapho ngingakwazanga ukuthola izaba zokweqa umhlangano wesikole. Imisindo yabafundi abamemezayo, umculo ovuthayo, lezo zibani ezikhanyayo ezibuhlungu, kanye nama-bleachers aphakeme angikhathaza. Kwakuyisiyaluyalu, futhi kwakudingeka ngiphume.

Ngandlela thile ngikwazile ukuhlehla ngiye endlini yangasese engaphesheya kwesakhiwo lapho bengicashe khona esitebeleni, ngikhihla isililo futhi ngishayisa ikhanda lami odongeni ngizama “ukuzikhipha kulona.” Wonke umuntu ubebonakala eyithokozela le-rally ye-pep, noma okungenani angahlala kuyo ngaphandle kokubaleka ngokwesaba. Yilapho ngabona khona ukuthi nganginokukhathazeka, kepha ngangingazi ukuthi kuzoba ngumzabalazo wokuphila konke.

Ukukhathazeka kwakho kubonakala kanjani emzimbeni?

Ngokomzimba, nginezimpawu ezijwayelekile: ngilwa nokuphefumula (ukushisa ngamandla noma ukuzizwa sengathi ngiyaklinyeka), ukushaya kwenhliziyo okusheshayo nokushaya isisu, ubuhlungu besifuba, umbono womhubhe, isiyezi, isicanucanu, ukuthuthumela, ukujuluka, ubuhlungu bemisipha, nokukhathala okuhambisana nokungakwazi ukulala.

Nginomkhuba futhi wokungazi izinzipho zami esikhunjeni sami noma ngilume izindebe zami, kaningi kabi ngokwanele ukudonsa igazi. Ngigcina futhi ngihlanza cishe njalo lapho ngiqala ukuzwa isicanucanu.

Ukukhathazeka kwakho kubonakala kanjani ngokwengqondo?

Kunzima ukucabanga ukuthi ngingakuchaza kanjani lokhu ngaphandle kokuzwakala sengathi ngivuselela i-DSM nje. Kuyahluka ngohlobo lokukhathazeka engibhekene nalo.

Ngomqondo ojwayelekile kakhulu, engimane ngibheke imodi yami yokusebenza ejwayelekile njengoba ngichitha izinsuku eziningi okungenani ngikhathazekile kancane ngento ethile, ukubonakaliswa kwengqondo kuyizinto ezifana nobunzima bokugxila, ukuzwa ukungazinzi, kanye nemicabango ephambeneyo yokuthi uma, kuthiwani uma, yini uma ...

Lapho ukukhathazeka kwami ​​kuba nzima kakhulu, angikwazi ukugxila kunoma yini ngaphandle kokukhathazeka. Ngiqala ukukhathazeka kuzo zonke izimo ezimbi kakhulu, noma ngabe zingabonakala zingenangqondo kangakanani. Imicabango yami iba yikho konke noma ingabi yilutho. Ayikho indawo empunga. Ukuzizwa ngisesaba kuyangiqeda, futhi ekugcineni ngiyaqiniseka ukuthi ngisengozini futhi ngizokufa.

Okubi kakhulu, ngavele ngavala futhi ingqondo yami yaba yize. Kufana nokuthi ngiyaphuma kimi. Angazi ukuthi ngizohlala isikhathi eside kangakanani kuleso simo. Lapho “ngibuya,” ngiba nokukhathazeka ngesikhathi esilahlekile, futhi umjikelezo uyaqhubeka.

Yiziphi izinhlobo zezinto ezibangela ukukhathazeka kwakho?

Ngisasebenza ekuboneni izimbangela zami. Kubukeka sengathi lapho ngithola eyodwa, ezinye ezintathu ziyavela. Isisusa sami esikhulu (noma okungenani esidumaza kakhulu) ukushiya indlu yami. Kungumshikashika wansuku zonke ukufika emsebenzini. Imvamisa ngiqala usuku lwami ngokuhlaselwa ukwethuka esikhundleni sekhofi.

Ezinye izimbangela ezivelele engiziqaphelile yizinto eziningi ezihlobene nemizwa (imisindo ephezulu, iphunga elithile, ukuthinta, amalambu akhanyayo, njll.), Izixuku ezinkulu, ezilinde kolayini, ezokuthutha zomphakathi, izitolo zokudla, izitebhisi ezizihambelayo, zidla ngaphambili kwabanye, ukulala, izihlambi, futhi kwazi bani ukuthi bangaki abanye. Kukhona ezinye izinto ezingaqondakali ezingibangela, njengokungalandeli inqubo noma isiko, ukubukeka kwami ​​komzimba, nezinye izinto engingakwazi ukubeka amagama okwamanje.

Ulawula kanjani ukukhathazeka kwakho?

Imithi iyindlela yami eyinhloko yokuphatha. Ngangiya emihlanganweni yokwelashwa masonto onke kwaze kwaba cishe ezinyangeni ezimbili ezedlule. Bengihlose ukushintshela kuwo wonke amanye amaviki, kepha angikamboni umelaphi wami esikhathini esingaphansi kwezinyanga ezimbili. Ngikhathazeke kakhulu ukucela isikhathi sokuphumula emsebenzini noma isidlo sasemini eseluliwe. Ngithwala uSilly Putty ukubamba izandla zami futhi angiphazamise, futhi ngizama ukunweba ukuze ngiphumuze imisipha yami. Lokho kunikeza ukukhululeka okulinganiselwe.

Nginezindlela zokuphatha ezinempilo ezincane, njengokuvumela ukuphoqelelwa, ukugwema izimo ezinamandla okungenza ngikhathazeke, ngibe ngedwa, ngicindezelwe, ngizihlukanise, futhi ngisebenzise kabi utshwala. Kepha lokho akukhona ukuphatha ukuphatha ukukhathazeka, akunjalo?

Impilo yakho ibizobukeka kanjani ukube ukukhathazeka kwakho bekulawulwa?

Ngempela angikwazi ukucabanga impilo yami ngaphandle kokukhathazeka.Kube yingxenye yami impilo yami yonke, ngakho-ke kufana nokuthi ngifanekisa ukuthi injani impilo yomuntu ongamazi.

Ngithanda ukucabanga ukuthi impilo yami izojabula kakhulu. Ngizokwazi ukwenza imisebenzi ejwayelekile kakhulu ngaphandle kokucabanga ngayo. Bengingeke ngizizwe nginecala ngokwenza abanye bangakhululeki noma ngibabambe. Ngicabanga ukuthi kufanele ikhululeke kakhulu, okuyindlela esabisayo.

UJamie Friedlander ungumbhali nomhleli ozimele onothando lwezempilo. Umsebenzi wakhe uvele kwiThe Cut, Chicago Tribune, Racked, Business Insider, naku-Success Magazine. Lapho engabhali, uvame ukutholakala ehamba, ephuza kakhulu itiye eliluhlaza, noma evula i-Etsy. Ungabona amasampula amaningi womsebenzi wakhe kuwebhusayithi yakhe. Mlandele ku-Twitter.