Indlela Engcono Kakhulu Yokuphendula Abafonayo Ekati

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Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ama-hoots, ukuhayiza, amakhwela, noma amazwi ocansi, ukushaya kwekati kungase kube okungaphezu nje kokucasula okuncane. Kungase kungafaneleki, kusabise, ngisho nokusongela. Futhi ngeshwa, ukuhlukunyezwa emigwaqweni yinto amaphesenti angama-65 abesifazane abahlangabezane nayo, ngokocwaningo olusha oluvela kwabenhlangano engenzi nzuzo ethi Stop Street Harassment.

Muva nje, owesifazane oneminyaka engama-28 waseMinneapolis ogama lakhe linguLindsay waba sematheni ngokubiza abesilisa ababiza ikati kuphrojekthi entsha ebizwa ngeCards Against Harassment. Kuwebhusayithi, unikeza amakhadi abesifazane abangakwazi ukuwalanda, bawaphrinte, futhi bawanikeze abahlukumezi. Amakhadi ahlose ukudlulisa ukuthi amazwi omuntu oshaya ikati abathinta kanjani abantu besifazane-echaza ukuthi isimilo asifuneki, ngaphandle kokubandakanyeka empikiswaneni noma ekulweni. Izintandokazi zethu ezimbili:

Siwusekela ngenhliziyo yonke umyalezo wakhe wokuthi izingcingo zekati akuzona ezokuncoma. (Bafo, zikhona ezinye izindlela zokukhuluma nabesifazane kunokukhuluma ngokuthi “Heyi, muhle!” noma “Damn, ntombazane,” niyazi.) UJarrett Arthur, uchwepheshe wokuzivikela kanye nomfundisi waseKrav Maga, uyavuma: “Kuyajabulisa ukuthi lokhu Le projekthi inika abesifazane imvume yokuthi basukume babe nezwi elimelene nokuhlukunyezwa emgwaqweni. "

Kodwa-ke, njengoba uLindsay ebhala kuwebhusayithi yakhe, amakhadi awekho kuwo wonke umuntu noma kuzo zonke izimo. Sicele u-Arthur ukuthi anezele ngokuthi kufanele-futhi okungafanele-ubhekane nini nabafonayo bekati.

1. Unga:Khuluma naye uma usendaweni engayodwa. Uma usendaweni evalekile, imoto engaphansi komhlaba enjalo noma ilifti, noma uwedwa emgwaqweni, u-Arthur uthi akufanele unikeze ikhadi noma ukhulume nomuntu oshaya ucingo ngengozi yokwandisa isimo.

2. Yenza: Khuluma. Kunomehluko omkhulu phakathi kokubiza ikati ngamazwi kanye nokuphula umngcele ongokoqobo. "Leso yisimo esidinga impendulo ebaluleke kakhulu," kusho u-Arthur. "Uma umngcele womzimba wephuliwe, udinga ukubhekana nawo ngendlela enokuzethemba okukhulu." Kodwa lokho akusho ukuthi kufanele ulwe-eqinisweni, ukuthola umzimba kufanele kube yisinyathelo sokugcina, kusho u-Arthur. "Sebenzisa amabinzana acacile, amafushane, anjengokuthi 'Yima. Ungangithinti,' noma 'Ngiyeke,' ngenkathi ubheka iso ukuze uthole iphuzu lakho."

3. Musa: Ungabazi ukubiza iziphathimandla. "Isikhathi esiningi abantu besifazane abafuni ukushayela amaphoyisa ucingo ngoba bengafuni ukusabela ngokweqile, kodwa noma nini lapho uzizwa usengozini kufanele ulalele imizwa yakho," kusho u-Arthur. Uthi uvame ukuzwa kubantu abahlaselwa ukuthi babenomuzwa wokuthi kukhona okungahambi kahle, kepha abenzanga lutho ngakho.

4. Yenza: Yenza isigcawu. "Zama ukuhambisa indawo enabantu abaningi uma umuntu ekulandela noma ezama ukukuthwesa, bese uzidonsela amehlo wena ngokumemeza amagama athile: 'Ngidinga usizo!' ‘Umhlaseli!’” kusho u-Arthur. "Awukwazi ukudlula phezulu uma uzizwa usongelwa. Isisho esithi 'Ukuphepha okungcono kunokuzisola' siyasebenza kulesi simo."

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