Ungakubona Kanjani futhi Ubhekane Nakho Nokungakhuli ngokomzwelo

-Delile

• Kuyini ngempela?
• Yiziphi izici ezibalulekile?
• Ngeke zijule
• Konke kumayelana nabo
• Ziyazivikela
• Banenkinga yokuzibophezela
• Abanabo amaphutha abo
• Uzizwa unesizungu kakhulu kunakuqala
• Ungayiphatha kanjani
• Qalisa ingxoxo eqondile
• Dala imingcele enempilo
• Funa usizo lochwepheshe
• Okubalulekile

Bheka lokhu ngeso lengqondo: Uphume edolobheni nomlingani wakho endaweni yokudlela entsha kanokusho. Konke kubonakala kuphelele. Kepha uma uzama ukubabuza ngekusasa lakho ndawonye, ​​bayaqhubeka nokushintsha isihloko.

Ekugcineni, uyakuveza, kuphela ukuthi baqhekeze ihlaya ngezindleko zakho - bakushiye uzizwa ukhungathekile.

Ngenkathi sonke sibe nezikhathi zethu zobuntwana, lezi zidlozi zingagcina zithathe umthwalo ebudlelwaneni, ngoba omunye umuntu uyehluleka ukunaka imizwa yakho.

Kuyini ngempela?

Othile ongavuthiwe ngokomzwelo uyokuthola kunzima ukuxhumana ngempumelelo noma ukucubungula imizwa yakhe futhi angahle abonakale enobugovu noma enganaki.

Yiziphi izici ezibalulekile?

Nakhu ezinye zezimpawu zokungakhuli ngokomzwelo ezingabonakala ebudlelwaneni nasezinyathelweni ongazithatha uma uziqaphela ngokwakho.

Ngeke zijule

Njengoba sibona kulesi simo esingenhla, umlingani ongavuthiwe ngokomzwelo uzobambezela izingxoxo ezinzima ngoba abakwazi ukuqonda imizwa yabo noma bakuthole kunzima kakhulu ukubhekana nakho.

Bazobheka phezulu kwezihloko ngaphandle kokuveza okuningi futhi ngeke baxhumane nawe ezingeni elijulile.

Nawa amanye amaqhinga okuphambukisa abangawasebenzisa:

• ehleka esikhundleni sokuvula
• ukukutshela ukuthi kufanele balungise i-TV ngaleso sikhathi
• bethi banengcindezi yokukhuluma
• ukuhlehlisa ingxoxo yakho yesonto elizayo

Konke kumayelana nabo

Lena yinkinga enkulu. Abantu abangakhulile ngokomzwelo bazohlala beletha i- "me factor" ngezikhathi ezingafanele. Bangaba nobunzima bokuqonda ukuthi umhlaba awuzungezi bona.

Uma umlingani wakho enganaki ukukhathazeka noma izintshisekelo zakho, kuwuphawu olucacile lokuthi banokukhula okuthile ngokomzwelo okufanele bakwenze.

Ziyazivikela

Uma uletha okuthile, bazozivikela ngokweqile.

Isibonelo, uma ukhononda ngokuthi kabakhiphanga udoti njengoba besho ukuthi bazokwenza, bazophendula ngokuthi "Kungani uhlala kimi?" noma uqhume ihlaya elithobayo njengokuthi, "Kubukeka sengathi i-PMSing yomuntu othile."

Banenkinga yokuzibophezela

Ukukhuluma ngekusasa kungesabisa umuntu ongavuthiwe ngokomzwelo. Bazokugwema ukuhlela izinto ndawonye ngoba besaba ukukhawulela inkululeko yabo.

Ingabe zenza izaba zokungahlangani nabazali bakho noma ukuzama ukuhlela iholide ndawonye? Kungaba uphawu lokuthi bazibophezele-phobic.

Abanabo amaphutha abo

Ngamafuphi: Abaphenduli.

Esikhundleni sokucabangisisa nokuvuma lapho sebemoshile, bazobeka icala kwabanye abantu noma ezimeni ezingaphezu kwamandla abo.

Nazi ezinye izinto abangazisho:

• "Umphathi wami wayelokhu engithumelela ama-imeyili futhi angizange ngisondele kuwo."
• "USteve ubefuna ukuphuza esinye isiphuzo ukuze ngikwazi ukufika ekhaya ngesikhathi."
• "Umsizi wami ukhohliwe ukungikhumbuza usuku lwanamuhla lokudla kwasemini."

Uzizwa unesizungu kakhulu kunakuqala

Ngaphezu kwakho konke, uzizwa unesizungu futhi uzwa “igebe lokusondelana” ebudlelwaneni bakho.

Ukuxhuma noma ukuxhuma nomunye wakho obalulekile kuba nenkinga ngoba uzizwa untula ukwesekwa, ukuqonda nenhlonipho.

Ayikho futhi indlela yokuthi ungachaza izidingo zakho nezifiso zakho zokuxoxa ngokuthuthuka.

Ungayiphatha kanjani

Uma uzithola uvuma ngekhanda futhi ubona izimpawu ezingenhla kumlingani wakho, akulona lonke ithemba elahlekile. Ukungavuthwa ngokomzwelo akusho ukuthi izinto azimiselwe ukusebenza.

Isici esiyinhloko lapha ukuthi ngabe omunye umuntu unjalo yini uzimisele ukwenza ushintsho. Uma kunjalo, ngezansi kunezindlela ezithile ongasondela ngazo kulolu hlobo lokuziphatha.

Qalisa ingxoxo eqondile

Letha kubo. Enye yezinto elula kodwa enamandla esingayenza ukukhuluma nomunye umuntu futhi sivulele impendulo.

Ungabazisa ukuthi ukuziphatha kwabo kukuthinta kanjani ngokusebenzisa izitatimende "Mina" bese uphakamisa izixazululo ezingaba khona.

Lokhu kuqeqesha ubuchopho bakho ukuthi buphendule, hhayi ukusabela ngenxa yentukuthelo noma ukukhungatheka.

Nakhu okunye kokulandelayo ongazama:

• “Ngesikhathi sesihlala ndawonye, ​​sasinezinhlelo zokushada esikhathini esingangonyaka. Ngizwa ubuhlungu futhi ngikhathazekile ngokuthi ngeke uphinde uxoxe ngesihloko nami. Ngicela ungisize ngithole izizathu zokungabaza kwakho? "
• “Lapho ngenza imisebenzi eminingi kangaka yasendlini nsuku zonke, ngizizwa ngicindezelekile futhi ngikhathele. Ingabe zikhona izindlela ongangisiza ngazo ngokuwasha izingubo nokulungisa ukudla masonto onke? ”

Dala imingcele enempilo

Misa ukuthathela umlingani wakho ubuhixihixi futhi uzibandakanye nabo lapho beza nezaba zokukhetha okungafanele.

Kubalulekile ukuthi baqonde ukuthi ukuziphatha kwabo kunemiphumela nokuthi ngeke uqhubeke ubamba iqhaza kumandla abo angenampilo.

Ngezansi kunezindlela ezithile zokuqina futhi usethe imingcele:

• Ziqaphele. Yazi izinga lakho lokunethezeka. Thola ukuthi yiziphi izimo ezikwenza uzizwe ulimele, ungakhululekile noma uthukuthele.
• Xhumana nomlingani wakho. Yisho ukuthi kunezinto ezithile ongeke uzibekezelele, njengokumenyezelwa noma ukuqanjelwa amanga.
• Landela lokho okushoyo. Akukho okuhlukile. Lokhu kungasho ukuthatha umgwaqo ophakeme ngesikhathi sokucasuka futhi ubazise ukuthi uzozimisela ukukhuluma uma sebekulungele ukuxoxa ngezinto ngokuvuthwa.

Funa usizo lochwepheshe

Ukukhuluma ngokwesaba nokungavikeleki kungasiza umuntu ukuthi athuthukise ukuzazi kwakhe mayelana nomphumela wezenzo zabo kwabanye.

Uma umlingani wakho ezimisele ukusebenza ngokwabo, ukubhekana nezinkinga nomelaphi ofanelekayo kungabasiza ukuthi babone imizwa yabo futhi bathole namakhono okubhekana nokubekezela okunempilo.

Okubalulekile

Ukukhula ngokomzwelo kuchazwa yikhono lokuphatha imizwa yethu futhi sithwale umthwalo ophelele wezenzo zethu. Ekupheleni kosuku, noma singazama kanzima kanjani ukuxhumana nomlingani wethu, kukubo ukuthi babone ukuthi indlela yabo yokuziphatha idinga ukushintsha.

Uma benindawonye kuze kube phakade futhi nizizwa kunethuba elihle lokuthi ngeke bakhule ngezindlela zabo zobuntwana, sekuyisikhathi sokuqhubeka. Isibonakaliso esisodwa esingenangqondo? Baqhubeka benza amaphutha afanayo kaninginingi.

Khumbula: Ufanelwe ukuba ebudlelwaneni obunothando, obusekelayo nomlingani okuhloniphayo - hhayi umuntu oyogcina uzizwa unesizungu naye.

UCindy Lamothe yintatheli ezimele ezinze eGuatemala. Ubhala kaningi ngemiphambanandlela phakathi kwezempilo, inhlalakahle, nesayensi yokuziphatha komuntu. Ubhalelwe i-The Atlantic, New York Magazine, Teen Vogue, Quartz, The Washington Post, nezinye eziningi. Mthole ku-cindylamothe.com.