Yini Inkinga Ekhona, futhi Ngidlula Kanjani Kuyo?

-Delile

• Ukubuka konke
• Incazelo yenkinga ekhona
• Izimbangela
• Imibuzo yenhlekelele ekhona
• Inkinga yenkululeko nokuziphendulela
• Inkinga yokufa nokufa
• Inkinga yokuhlukaniswa nokuxhuma
• Isimo esibucayi sencazelo nokungasho lutho
• Inkinga yomzwelo, okuhlangenwe nakho, kanye nokwenziwa ngendlela
• Izimpawu zezinhlekelele ezikhona
• Ukucindezeleka okukhona okwenzekayo
• Ukukhathazeka kwesimo esibucayi
• Isifo esivele sikhona sokucindezelwa (OCD)
• Inkinga ekhona isiza
• Lawula imicabango yakho
• Gcina iphephabhuku lokubonga ukuze unqobe imizwa engemihle
• Zikhumbuze ukuthi kungani impilo inenjongo
• Ungalindeli ukuthola zonke izimpendulo
• Ukubonana nodokotela nini
• Ukudla okudlela endlini

Ukubuka konke

Iningi labantu libhekana nokukhathazeka, ukudangala, kanye nengcindezi ngesikhathi esithile sempilo yabo. Kwabaningi, le mizwa yesikhashana futhi ayiphazamisi kakhulu izinga labo lempilo.

Kepha kwabanye, imizwa engemihle ingaholela ekuphelelweni yithemba okujulile, ibenze bangabaze indawo yabo empilweni. Lokhu kwaziwa njengenkinga ekhona.

Umqondo wobunzima obukhona ufundwe ngabasebenza ngengqondo nodokotela bengqondo abanjengoKazimierz Dabrowski no-Irvin D. Yalom amashumi eminyaka, kusukela ngo-1929.

Kodwa-ke noma kunenqwaba yocwaningo oludala nolusha ngalesi sihloko, ungahle ungalazi leli gama, noma ungaqondi ukuthi lehluke kanjani ekukhathazekeni nasekucindezelekeni okujwayelekile.

Nakhu okudingeka ukwazi ngenkinga ekhona, nokuthi unganqoba kanjani le ndawo yokuguquka.

Incazelo yenkinga ekhona

"Abantu bangaba nenkinga ekhona lapho beqala ukuzibuza ukuthi impilo isho ukuthini, nokuthi iyini injongo yabo noma inhloso yempilo iyonke," kuchaza uKatie Leikam, umelaphi onelayisense eDecatur, eGeorgia, ogxile ekusebenzeni nokukhathazeka, ukucindezeleka kobudlelwano, kanye nobunikazi bobulili. "Kungaba ikhefu emaphethini wokucabanga lapho ngokungazelelwe ufuna izimpendulo zemibuzo ebalulekile yokuphila."

Akuyona into engavamile ukusesha injongo nenjongo empilweni yakho. Ngenkinga ekhona, noma kunjalo, inkinga ilele ngokungakwazi ukuthola izimpendulo ezanelisayo. Kwabanye abantu, ukuntuleka kwezimpendulo kudala ukungqubuzana komuntu ngaphakathi, kubangele ukukhungatheka nokulahlekelwa yinjabulo yangaphakathi.

Inkinga ekhona ingathinta noma ngubani kunoma yisiphi isikhathi, kepha abaningi babhekana nenkinga lapho bebhekene nesimo esinzima, mhlawumbe umzabalazo wokuphumelela.

Izimbangela

Izinselelo zansuku zonke nezingcindezi kungenzeka kungabangeli inkinga ekhona. Lolu hlobo lobunzima kungenzeka lulandele ukuphelelwa yithemba okujulile noma umcimbi obalulekile, njengokuhlukumezeka okukhulu noma ukulahlekelwa okukhulu. Izimbangela ezimbalwa zenkinga ekhona zingafaka:

• ukuzizwa unecala ngokuthile
• ukulahlekelwa othandekayo ngokufa, noma ukubhekana neqiniso lokufa kwakhe
• uzizwe ungagcwaliseki emphakathini
• ukunganeliseki ngesiqu sakho
• umlando wemizwa evalekile

Imibuzo yenhlekelele ekhona

Izinhlobo ezahlukene zezinkinga ezikhona zibandakanya:

Inkinga yenkululeko nokuziphendulela

Unenkululeko yokuzikhethela, engashintsha impilo yakho ibe ngcono noma embi. Iningi labantu lithanda le nkululeko, ngokungafani nokuthi othile abenzele izinqumo.

Kepha le nkululeko futhi iza nomthwalo wemfanelo. Kufanele wamukele imiphumela yezinqumo ozenzayo. Uma usebenzisa inkululeko yakho ukwenza ukukhetha okungapheli kahle, awukwazi ukubeka icala komunye umuntu.

Kwabanye, le nkululeko inkulu kakhulu futhi ibangela ukukhathazeka okukhona, okuwukukhathazeka okuhlanganisa konke mayelana nenjongo yokuphila nokukhetha.

Inkinga yokufa nokufa

Inkinga ekhona nayo ingashaya ngemuva kokuguqula iminyaka ethile. Isibonelo, usuku lwakho lokuzalwa lwama-50 lungakuphoqa ukuthi ubhekane neqiniso lempilo yakho selingaphezu kwesigamu, okuholele ekubuzeni isisekelo sempilo yakho.

Ungahle ucabange ngencazelo yokuphila nokufa, bese ubuza imibuzo enjengokuthi, “Kwenzekani emva kokufa?” Ukwesaba okungase kulandele ukufa kungabangela ukukhathazeka. Lolu hlobo lobunzima lungenzeka futhi ngemuva kokutholakala ukuthi unesifo esibi noma lapho ukufa sekusondele.

Inkinga yokuhlukaniswa nokuxhuma

Noma uthokozela izikhathi zokuhlukaniswa nokuba wedwa, abantu bangabantu. Ubudlelwano obuqinile bungakunika ukusekelwa ngokwengqondo nangokomzwelo, kukulethele ukwaneliseka nenjabulo yangaphakathi. Inkinga ukuthi ubudlelwane abuhlali njalo.

Abantu bangahlukana ngokwenyama nangokomzwelo, futhi ukufa kuvame ukwahlukanisa abantu esibathandayo. Lokhu kungaholela ekubeni wedwa futhi ube nesizungu, kwenze abanye abantu bazizwe sengathi impilo yabo ayinanjongo.

Isimo esibucayi sencazelo nokungasho lutho

Ukuba nenjongo nenjongo yokuphila kunganikeza ithemba. Kepha ngemuva kokucabanga ngempilo yakho, ungazizwa sengathi awuzange ufeze lutho olubalulekile noma wenze umehluko. Lokhu kungaholela abantu ekungabazeni ukuba khona kwabo.

Inkinga yomzwelo, okuhlangenwe nakho, kanye nokwenziwa ngendlela

Ukungazivumeli ukuba uzizwe unemizwa engemihle kwesinye isikhathi kungaholela enkingeni ekhona. Abanye abantu bavimba ubuhlungu nokuhlupheka, becabanga ukuthi lokhu kuzobajabulisa. Kepha kungahle kuholele kumqondo wamanga wenjabulo. Futhi lapho ungatholi injabulo yangempela, impilo ingazizwa ingenalutho.

Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ukuhlanganisa imizwa nokwamukela imizwa yobuhlungu, ukunganeliseki nokunganeliseki kungavula umnyango wokukhula komuntu, kuthuthukise umbono ngempilo.

Izimpawu zezinhlekelele ezikhona

Ukuzwa ukukhathazeka nokudangala lapho impilo yakho isukile kuthrekhi akusho njalo ukuthi ubhekene nobunzima obukhona. Le mizwa, nokho, iboshelwe enkingeni lapho ihambisana nesidingo sokuthola injongo yokuphila.

Ukucindezeleka okukhona okwenzekayo

Ngesikhathi sobunzima obukhona, ungahle ube nemizwa ejwayelekile yokudangala. Lezi zimpawu zingafaka ukulahleka kwesithakazelo emisebenzini oyithandayo, ukukhathala, ukuphathwa ikhanda, imizwa yokuphelelwa yithemba, nokudabuka okuqhubekayo.

Endabeni yokudangala okukhona, ungahle ube nemicabango ngokuzibulala noma ukuphela kwempilo, noma ube nomuzwa wokuthi impilo yakho ayinayo injongo, kusho uLeikam.

Ukuphelelwa yithemba ngalolu hlobo lokucindezeleka kuhlobene ngokujulile nemizwa yokuphila okungenanjongo. Ungase ungabaze injongo yakho konke: “Ngabe kusebenza kuphela, ukhokhe izikweletu, futhi ekugcineni ufe?”

Ukukhathazeka kwesimo esibucayi

"Ukukhathazeka okukhona kungaziveza njengokumatasa ngempilo yangasemuva noma ukucasuka noma ukwesaba ngendawo yakho nezinhlelo zakho empilweni," kusho uLeikam.

Lokhu kukhathazeka kwehlukile ekucindezelekeni kwansuku zonke ngomqondo wokuthi konke kungakwenza ungakhululeki futhi ukhathazeke, kufaka phakathi nokuba khona kwakho. Ungase uzibuze, "Iyini inhloso yami futhi ngingena kuphi?"

Isifo esivele sikhona sokucindezelwa (OCD)

Kwesinye isikhathi, imicabango ngenhloso yokuphila nenjongo yakho ingahle isinde kakhulu emqondweni wakho futhi ibangele imicabango yokujaha. Lokhu kwaziwa njenge-OCD ekhona, futhi kungenzeka uma ukhathazeka ngokweqile noma unezimpoqo mayelana nenjongo yokuphila.

“Ingaletha isidingo sokubuza imibuzo kaninginingi, noma ukungakwazi ukuphumula uze uthole izimpendulo zemibuzo yakho,” kusho uLeikam.

Inkinga ekhona isiza

Ukuthola injongo yakho nenjongo empilweni kungakusiza ukuthi ugqashule enkingeni ekhona. Nawa amathiphu ambalwa wokubhekana nalokhu:

Lawula imicabango yakho

Miselela imibono engemihle nethemba ngemicabango emihle. Ukuzitshela ukuthi impilo yakho ayisho lutho kungaba yisiphrofetho esizigcwalisayo. Esikhundleni salokho, thatha izinyathelo zokuphila impilo enenjongo. Phishekela uthando, volontiya injongo okholelwa kuyo, noma uzijwayeze ukuba nobubele.

Gcina iphephabhuku lokubonga ukuze unqobe imizwa engemihle

Impilo yakho mhlawumbe inencazelo engaphezu kwalokho ocabanga ngakho. Bhala phansi konke okwazisa ngakho. Lokhu kungafaka umndeni wakho, umsebenzi, amakhono, izimfanelo, kanye nokufezile.

Zikhumbuze ukuthi kungani impilo inenjongo

Ukuzinika isikhathi sokuzihlola nakho kungakusiza ukuthi udlule enkingeni ekhona, uLeikam uthi.

Uma unenkinga yokubona okuhle kuwe, cela abangani nomndeni ukuthi babone izimfanelo zakho ezinhle. Ube namthelela muni omuhle ezimpilweni zabo? Yiziphi izimfanelo zakho eziqine kakhulu nezincomekayo?

Ungalindeli ukuthola zonke izimpendulo

Lokhu akusho ukuthi awukwazi ukufuna izimpendulo zemibuzo ebalulekile yokuphila. Ngasikhathi sinye, qonda ukuthi eminye imibuzo ngeke ibe nezimpendulo.

Ukwedlula ebunzimeni obukhona, uLeikam uphakamisa nokuhlukanisa imibuzo ibe yizimpendulo ezincane, bese usebenza ukuze waneliseke ngokufunda izimpendulo zemibuzo emincane eyakha isithombe esikhulu.

Ukubonana nodokotela nini

Ungahle ukwazi ukubhekana nenkinga ekhona ngokwakho, ngaphandle kukadokotela. Kodwa uma izimpawu zingapheli, noma uma ziba zimbi kakhulu, bheka udokotela wezifo zengqondo, isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo, noma umelaphi.

Laba ochwepheshe bezempilo yengqondo bangakusiza ukuba ubhekane nezinkinga ngokusebenzisa ukwelashwa kokukhuluma noma ukwelashwa kokuziphatha kwengqondo. Lolu uhlobo lwezokwelapha oluhlose ukushintsha amaphethini wokucabanga noma wokuziphatha.

Funa usizo ngokushesha uma unemicabango yokuzibulala. Khumbula, noma kunjalo, akudingeki ulinde kuze kube yilapho inkinga ifinyelela kuleli qophelo ngaphambi kokukhuluma nodokotela noma omunye umhlinzeki wezempilo.

Noma ungenayo imicabango ngokuzibulala, umelaphi angasiza ngokukhathazeka okukhulu, ukudangala, noma imicabango engalawuleki.

Ukudla okudlela endlini

Inkinga ekhona ingenzeka kunoma ngubani, iholele abaningi ekubuzeni ubukhona nenhloso yabo empilweni. Ngaphandle kokubucayi okungaba khona kwale ndlela yokucabanga, kungenzeka ukuthi unqobe inkinga bese udlula kulezi zinkinga.

Ukhiye ukuqonda ukuthi inkinga ekhona ihluke kanjani ekucindezelekeni okujwayelekile nokukhathazeka, nokuthola usizo nganoma yimiphi imizwa noma imicabango ongeke wayinyakazisa.