Izinto Ezinzima Kakhulu Ngokuhamba Ndawonye

-Delile

• Umsebenzi Wesidlo
• Ezezimali
• Izikhathi Eziseduze
• Ibhizinisi Lokugezela
• Isikhathi se-TV
• Buyekeza kwe-

Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi i-rom-coms ikwenza kube lula kangakanani, ngokocwaningo olusha olwenziwe yi-UGallery, amaphesenti angu-83 abesifazane athi ukuhamba ndawonye kunzima ngempela. Uma ungazilungiselelanga, izinto ezincane eziza nezinga elisha lokusondelana zingaqhuma kalula ngisho nobudlelwano obuhle kakhulu. Uma ungakwazi ukuthola ukuthi wabelana kanjani ngomsebenzi wezinja, kuzokwenzekani lapho kufanele wabe isikhathi somndeni ngamaholide? "Yingakho kubaluleke kakhulu ukuthi ugweme izinkinga ezivame kakhulu ngaphambi kokuthi udlule emngceleni owabiwe," kusho u-Wendy Walsh, Ph.D., uchwepheshe wobudlelwano, kanye nombhali wezincwadi. I-Love Detox yezinsuku ezingu-30.

Lapha, izingqinamba ezinhlanu eziphezulu imibhangqwana enayo lapho ihlangana, futhi nezeluleko zikaWalsh zendlela yokusebenza nenye ngayinye.

Umsebenzi Wesidlo

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Ucwaningo lwakamuva luthole ukuthi ngisho nasemibhangqwaneni ekhetha ukuhlala ndawonye abesifazane basenza iningi lomsebenzi wasendlini, njengakwi Amaphesenti angama-90 yemisebenzi-noma ngabe bobabili abalingani bayasebenza. Uma lokho kungalungile kuwe (futhi kungani kungaba njalo?), UWalsh usikisela ukuba nibe nengxoxo ngaphambi kokuthi ningene ndawonye ngokuthi ubani ozokwenza ini. Siyazi ukuthi ukuza nohlelo lomsebenzi akusilo uthando oluqondile, kepha-ke futhi akuhlanjululwa ngenkani izitsha phakathi kwamabili ngenkathi sicabanga ukumshaya ngomcamelo wakhe.

Ezezimali

Uma kukhulunywa ngemali, kufanele uvume okungenani ukuhlukanisa izinto 50/50 noma umenze akhokhe imali ethe xaxa. "Amadoda amaningi athanda ukuzizwa engumnikezeli," kuchaza u-Walsh. Kungase kungabonakali "kufanelekile" ekuqaleni, kodwa uveza ukuthi ubuhlobo bakho nesoka lakho abufani nomuntu ohlala naye, ngakho akufanele uphathe ukuhamba naye njengokukhetha isiqashi ku-Craigslist. Ngaphezu kwalokho, kudingeka uzivikele ngokwezimali. Noma ukuhlala ndawonye kungafani nokushada, uWalsh uthi ukuhlukana kuvame ukufana nesehlukaniso-ngaphandle kwalapho kungekho zivikelo ezisemthethweni. Isinyathelo sokuqala esihle ukugcina ama-akhawunti akho omuntu siqu egameni lakho ukuze ukonga kwakho nomlando wezikweletu ungabi senkingeni uma izinto ziya eningizimu.

Kepha into engcono kakhulu ongayenza, ngokusho kukaWalsh, ukuba nesivumelwano esibhaliwe sokuthi izikweletu zizohlukaniswa kanjani. Uphinda ancoma ukuthi ujwayelane nemithetho ejwayelekile noma yezakhiwo ezijwayelekile esifundazweni sakho.

Izikhathi Eziseduze

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Ukuhlela ucansi can yiba nomusa! “Abantu balindele ukuthi ukuthutha kufane nokuthandana kodwa kube nokufinyelela okwengeziwe ocansini, kodwa kufanele uqonde ukuthi ekugcineni sekuzinzile,” kuchaza uWalsh. "Akusho ukuthi usuqala ukuthandana naloyo muntu kodwa ukuthi usudlulela esigabeni sothando esijulile, nesipholile." Lokhu kusho ukuthi udinga ukuthola izindlela zokuxhuma ngokomzimba kunokuba ulindele ukuthi kwenzeke ngokuzenzakalelayo.

Ngaphezu kwalokho, kufanele uvuleleke kwezinye izindlela zokugcina omunye nomunye anelisekile. "Ungaqhathanisi inkanuko yakho yezocansi neyakhe," esho. "Abesilisa banjengama-microwave-bayashesha ukushisa futhi bayashesha ukuqeda-kanti abesifazane bafana kakhulu nezimbila zithutha." Usikisela ukusebenzisa ama-quickies, ukuhlangana kwesikhathi sasemini, kanye nobulili bomlomo phakathi kwezikhathi ezinde zokuthandana.

Ibhizinisi Lokugezela

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Isihlalo sendlu yangasese sizosala phezulu. Lapho omunye wenu emile ngenkathi omunye ehleli, kuyenzeka nje. Kodwa ukwabelana ngendlu yangasese akudingeki kube yinkinga. U-Walsh uncoma ukuthi unqume kusenesikhathi ukuthi yini ongayivumela ukuthi islayidi (umqulu wephepha lasendlini yangasese elingenalutho noma umuthi wokuxubha amazinyo kusinki?) nokuthi yini ongakwazi (ukuchamela phansi?). Ukwenza uhlelo lwendlu yangasese kuzothatha ukuyekethisa ezingxenyeni zakho zombili kepha noma yini oyenzayo, ungakhathazeki-noma uzogcina uziphethe kahle ngendlela ongayifuni, kusho uWalsh. "Kungcono kakhulu ukuvuza imikhuba yakhe emihle bese ulokhu umkhumbuza ngemibi yakhe."

Isikhathi se-TV

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Akekho ofuna igazi le-zombie lingcolisa ingubo yabo yomshado lapho Abafileyo Abahambayo ingqubuzana ne Athi Yebo kuMgqoko, kwesokudla? Kepha yize abaphendulile ocwaningweni babekhathazeke kakhulu ngemikhuba engqubuzanayo ye-TV okwenza kwaba nokukhathazeka okuyisihlanu okuphezulu, uWalsh uthi akukhombisi izingxabano okuyiyona mpikiswano yangempela, kepha ukuthi ukusingatha kanjani ukungqubuzana kukonke. Kuzoba nesigidi sezinto okufanele kuliwe futhi ngokuvamile lezo zimpi ziqala kokuthile okuncane, njenge-TV. “Akufanele ungalokothi uhlale nomuntu kuze kube yilapho uke walwa okungenani eyodwa enkulu,” uyeluleka. Akunjalo ukuze nibe nobulili obukhulu bokuzilungiselela kepha ukuze nibone ukuthi nobabili niyisingatha kanjani ingxabano. Ubuye athi eminye imibhangqwana eyelulekwa ngaphambi kokungena kungaba yindlela enhle yokuthola ukuthi zingaxazululwa kanjani izingxabano.

Ekugcineni, ukusebenza kwama-kink kumayelana nokuxhumana okuhle nokulindelwe. "Ucwaningo lukhombisa ukuthi imibhangqwana ejabulayo yokuhlala ndawonye ikulungele ukuphendula imibuzo ebalulekile, njengokuthi ubudlelwano bubheke kuphi ngaphezu kwezinto zansuku zonke," esho. "Futhi uma yena (noma wena) ungazimisele ukuphendula imibuzo enzima, cishe akufanele uhambe ndawonye."

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