Ungayisebenzisa Kanjani Indlela Yezombusazwe #RealTalk Ngesikhathi Samaholide

-Delile

• Umdlalo wangaphambilini
• Umcimbi Omkhulu
• I-After-Party
• Buyekeza kwe-

Akuyona imfihlo ukuthi lolu bekungukhetho olushubile-kusuka ezingxoxweni eziphakathi kwalabo abazongenela ukhetho kuya ezingxoxweni ezenzeka kwi-Facebook newsfeed yakho, akukho lutho olungasabalalisa abantu ngokushesha ukwedlula ukumemezela ozongenela ukhetho kwezepolitiki. Abantu abaningi, sebekhathele umkhankaso omude kunayo yonke emlandweni, bathe bebengeke nje balinde ukuthi ukhetho luphele. Abantu abaningi abebengakulindele, wukuthi uma sekuphothuliwe ukhetho, kuzobe sekuqala isivunguvungu sokulwa.

Uqweqwe phezulu kwekhekhe likamongameli, kunjalo, iqiniso lokuthi isikhathi samaholide siyeza. Ukuhumusha: Wena kanye nazo zonke izihlobo zakho nisalelwe yizinsuku ukuthi nihlale etafuleni elikhulu lesidlo sakusihlwa somndeni wenza sengathi konke kuhamba kahle, nakuba wazi ukuthi umalume uTom umake ibhamuza elihlukile evotini lakhe, futhi umzala wakho akazange avote. Impela, umndeni wakho ungasinda kumdlalo othile (eh, ubabekazi uMartha uthole indlela udakwe kakhulu ngosuku lokuzalwa lukaGogo), kepha uma usungeze izingxoxo ezishisayo zepolitiki? Ukugxusha sekuzoshaya umlandeli.

Kungakho sidale lo mhlahlandlela wokuthola isikhathi samaholide ngaphandle kokuvumela izingqungquthela zezombangazwe ziphenduke iMpi Yesithathu Yomhlaba. (Futhi nakuba lawa macebiso abalulekile njengamanje, ungakwazi ukuwasebenzisa ukuze udlule kunoma iyiphi ingxoxo eyehlayo lapho ozwa sengathi ungase uqhume-kusuka kokuthi “Kungani ungakashadi?” kuye kokuthi “Isebenza kanjani lelo digri yezokuxhumana wena? ")

Futhi uma lokhu sekuvele kukuningi kakhulu, yima kancane futhi ubheke lezi zinto ezingama-25 eziqinisekisiwe ukuthi zizokwenza wonke umuntu ajabule.

Umdlalo wangaphambilini

1. Yazi ukuthi izindinganiso zakho zimi kuphi

Into ukuthi, noma ngabe ama-convos abucayi aphathelene nenkolo, ezombusazwe, noma ezinye izinqumo ezibalulekile zempilo, akukaze kube mayelana nesihloko esiseduze-kumayelana namagugu akho.

Lokhu kuqala ngokuvuma imizwa yakho; siphila esikweni eligxile kakhulu ekubeni sihlale sinethemba futhi siqhubekele phambili kangangokuthi abantu abaningi abasakwazi ukuzijwayeza uma kuziwa ekubhekaneni nemizwa engemihle noma enzima, kusho uSusan David, isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo eHarvard Medical School nombhali wencwadi ethi. Ubungqabavu obungokomzwelo.

“Kubalulekile ukuthi abantu bazivumele ukuthi bezwe ukuthi bazizwa kanjani kunokuthi bazame ukudlulela kukho, futhi babone ukuthi le mizwa imvamisa iyizimpawu zezinto esizikhathalelayo,” usho kanje. "Bangasisiza ukuthi sicacelwe kabanzi ngamagugu ethu, izinhloso zethu, nokuthi sifuna ukuba emhlabeni kanjani." (Imizwa eveza ngempela ikwenza ube nempilo ephelele.)

Isibonelo, ukube ubuphikisana ngokuphelele nokuvotela uClinton ngenxa yemibiko yokungathembeki nemfihlo, lokho kungasho ukuthi ukwazisa ukwethemba kakhulu. Uma uzizwe unamandla ngokungamvoteli uTrump ngenxa yezitatimende zakhe ngabesifazane noma abantu abambalwa, mhlawumbe kungenxa yokuthi uyakwazisa ukulingana nokuhlukahluka. Ukubona abazali bakho, abangane, noma osebenza nabo bavotela umuntu ozongenela ukhetho kungazwakala njengokuhlaselwa komuntu siqu; uma bavotele omunye umuntu, kuzwakala sengathi akufanele babe namanani afanayo nawe.

Ikhambi: Bethelela phansi amanani akho, futhi ucacise. “Ucwaningo lukhombisa ukuthi ukucacisa lokho okuyigugu kusiza kakhulu ukuqina kwakho,” kusho uDavid. "Ukwazi ukuthi ungubani futhi umeleni kuba yikhampasi yokusihola kulezi zimo." Ukuba nezizathu ezibambekayo zokuthi kungani uzizwa ngendlela ethile kusiza ukuvikela imizwa yakho ekushayeni isibhamu.

2.Kubhale

Uzizwa ukhathazeke kakhulu ngemiphumela yokhetho nokuthi kungasho ukuthini ngesidlo sakusihlwa somndeni wakho (noma ukuhlangana kabusha nabangane bakho bakudala, noma iphathi yeholide lakho lomsebenzi)? Zama ukubhala ngakho imizuzu engama-20 ngosuku. Ucwaningo lubonisa ukuthi kuzokusiza ukuba ube nombono ongcono ngemizwa yakho kanye nengqondo yezenzo zabanye abantu, kusho uDavid.

"Uqala ukukhulisa amandla abaluleke kakhulu okubona omunye umbono, obaluleke kakhulu njengabantu ukuze bakwazi ukuzwelana," usho kanje. "Ikakhulukazi njengoba lolu khetho belugxile kakhulu 'kokunye.' Bekuyithina esasiphikisana nabo. Ngakho-ke ngaphezu kwanoma yini manje, ukubheka izinto kubaluleke kakhulu. " (Nazi ezinye izindlela ezinempilo zokubhekana nentukuthelo.)

3. Yenza ukuhlela "Uma ... Bese ..."

Ubusondelene nomndeni wakho amashumi ambalwa eminyaka, ngakho-ke uyazi ukuthi kuhamba kanjani. Uyazi ukuthi ubani ozocindezela izinkinobho zakho ngezindlela ezithile-ngakho lungiselela lokho kanye. Chitha indiza yakho, ukushayela, noma isitimela ukugibela uye ekhaya ngamaholide ucabanga ukuthi iziphi izinhlobo zengxoxo ezingavela nokuthi ungathanda ukusabela kanjani kuzo.

“Awukwazi ukulawula lokho abanye abantu abakushoyo noma abakwenzayo,” kusho uDavid. "Kodwa ukucabanga ngokuthi 'uma kunjalo-ke' izitatimende zingakusiza ukuba ukwazi ukuzilungiselela ngokwengeziwe, ukwazi ukusebenzisa amasu akho, futhi ukwazi ukuxhumana nawe kulesi simo kunokuba uvele wenze izinto eziyobe zingasizi ngalutho."

4. Misa imingcele kusenesikhathi

"Uma uphethe umcimbi, ngicabanga ukuthi kwamukeleke ngokuphelele kuwe ukuthi: 'Ayikho ipolitiki namuhla,' kusho uJulie de Azevedo Hanks, Ph.D., LCSW "Ngenxa yokuguquguquka kanye nokuqina kokhetho, njengoba ngicabanga ukuthi unelungelo lokubeka lo mthetho. "

Kodwa qagelani? Uma uphatheke kabi ikakhulukazi, kepha uhlela ukuvala umlomo wakho bese ungayinaki indlovu egumbini, kungahle kubuye, kusho uDavid. Lokho kubizwa ukufaka amabhodlela (ukubamba noma ukuvala leyo mizwelo engemihle), futhi into ehlekisayo ukuthi, into eyodwa ozama kakhulu ukungayivumi cishe izobuya ibuyele emuva. Kuyabizwa ukuvuza kwemizwelo futhi kulingana ngokomzwelo nokudla ngokweqile i-pizza yonke ngo-2 ekuseni ngoLwesihlanu ebusuku ngoba ubulokhu uzama kanzima ukunamathela ekudleni kwakho isonto lonke.

Umcimbi Omkhulu

1. Yazi ukuthi akuhlangene nepolitiki

Esikhundleni sokuzivikela, yazi ukuthi ucabanga ukuthi omunye umuntu uzuzani ngempela. "Sonke sicabanga ukuthi sinengqondo ngempela ngezinto, kodwa akekho," kusho uHanks. "Kunemizwelo eminingi eshayela lezi zimpendulo ezinamandla. Ngithanda ukucabanga ukuthi konke ukugxekwa kuyisicelo esingokomzwelo ... Yizwa ucezu lomzwelo abafuna ukukuzwa. Ngoba, empeleni, emnyombweni wethu, sonke sifuna izinto ezifanayo: ukuhlonishwa, ukuzwa, ukwaziswa, ukuqondwa, sifuna ukwazi ukuthi sibalulekile kothile. " Lapho usungakwazi ukungena kulokho futhi ukwamukele, isimo siba esingesihle ngokuphelele, esho. (Usuzoshaya? Zama lezi zinyathelo zokuzola, nokuzethemba ukwehlisa umoya lapho usuzodidizela.)

2. Yazi ukuthi uzophuma nini

Uma othile eqala ingxoxo ehola ngomgwaqo owaziyo ukuthi izoba nobunzima, zizwe ukhululekile ukuphuma ngaphandle-vele uvume ukuphawula kwabo kuqala, kusho uHanks. "Akekho ongangena ezingxoxweni ezishubile zepolitiki ngaphandle kokuzimisela kwakho ukungena kuleyo ngxoxo," esho. "Ungahlonipha impela futhi uqinisekise noma ubalalele bese ushintsha isihloko."

Ngoba uyazi ukuthi ziyini izindinganiso zakho, unganquma lapho ingxoxo isiye endaweni lapho ungasafuni ukuba yingxenye yayo. "Zibuze: Ngiwukhipha kuphi umugqa phakathi kohlobo lwengxoxo engizohlala kuyo buthule ngilalele, uma kuqhathaniswa nesikhathi lapho kufanele ngihambe khona," kusho uDavid.

Uma uqala ukuzwa ukwakheka kokushisa esifubeni sakho noma ifindo emphinjeni wakho, kungasiza ukucindezela ikhefu futhi ubone kahle ukuthi kwenzekani. Uma ukwazi ukubona ukuthi uzizwa uthukuthele, ulimele, ukhungathekile, ukhashelwe, njll., Kungasiza ukubeka isikhala phakathi kwakho nalowo muzwa, kusho uDavid. Lokhu kukugcina ulawula, kunokuvumela imizwa ikulawule. (I-PS science ithi kunethuba lokuthi ulambile nje, hhayi ukuthi uthukuthele empeleni.)

Ukusuka lapho, cabanga ukuthi isenzo sakho esilandelayo sibonisa kanjani izindinganiso zakho nokuthi ufuna ukuba ubani njengomuntu. Ngabe uyafuna ukuba ngumuntu ophuma ngolaka egumbini, noma umuntu oze ngokuthula anqabe ngokubaluleka kokwethembeka, ukwehluka, njll.?

I-After-Party

Khumbula: Sonke singabantu

"Manje njengoba ukhetho seluphelile, leli yithuba lokugxila ekuxhumaneni nasejwayeleni, noma ngabe asivumelani ngezingqinamba noma kulabo abazongenela ukhetho," kusho uHanks. Ekugcineni, wonke umuntu unezidingo, izidingo, nokwesaba okufanayo; abantu bayalisaba ikusasa, bafuna ukunakekela imindeni yabo, babe nobudlelwano obuhle, bazizwe bephephile, bazizwe behlonishwa, beqinisekiswa futhi beqondakala.

Ekugcineni, amaholidi yisikhathi sokugubha nokuba ndawonye-ngakho-ke mhlawumbe vele unamathele ekukhulumeni ngamakati akwi-Intanethi nokuthi iTurkey incasa kangakanani, bese ugcine inkulumo yezombusazwe yoSuku Lukamongameli. (Futhi uma usaqhubeka nokuthukuthela, fakela ukukhungatheka kwakho kulo msebenzi wokulawula ulaka.)

Buyekeza kwe-