"Ngazalwa nefry French ngomlomo wami"

-Delile

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Egqoke izinwele zakhe ezimhlophe ngamagagasi ahehayo kanye nejini elula emhlophe emhlophe eveza imilenze yakhe ethambile, u-Chelsea Handler ubukeka emncane kakhulu futhi emncane kakhulu- bese ekwenza ohlelweni lwakhe lwezingxoxo, I-Chelsea Muva nje. Ingabe wehlise isisindo, noma ngabe uyisisulu se-camera-add-10-pounds syndrome esesabekayo? "Kahle, TV kwenza kukwenza ubukeke ukhuluphele ngokuphindwe ka-10, uyazi," esho ngesikhathi sokudla kwasemini kwe-sushi, ama-clams ashubile, nesaladi yekhukhamba. bheka kahle! Besizosho okuthile ngesisindo sakho ngoba ubukeka umkhulu kakhulu ku-TV! Ngabe sengibuka i-TV yabo, futhi ngabona ukuthi babenayo esikrinini esibanzi! Ngifana, 'Hhayi-ke ngibukeka ngikhulu! Yisuse esikrinini esibanzi, nina bahluzi. '"

Noma kunjalo, bekungahamba kalula ngenye indlela. Ukuze athole umzimba ophilile, ophilile, usomahlaya owazalelwa eNew Jersey wehlula umlando omubi wezempilo yomndeni (ngemuva kokulwa isikhathi eside nomdlavuza, umama wakhe washona eminyakeni emine eyedlule, ubaba wakhe wahlinzwa kathathu); ukuthanda ngokujulile ama-cocktails aphezulu, ukudla okusheshayo, nokudla okulula okunosawoti; kanye nokungakwazi isikhathi eside ukunamathela esimisweni sokuzivocavoca.

Thola iresiphi yesidlo esiyintandokazi sase-Chelsea-isinkwa senyama yomfowabo we-turkey!

U-Chelsea wayazi ukuthi udinga ukwenza izinguquko ezithile zokuphila. Ngakho-ke waqasha isazi sokudla futhi wavuselela uhlelo lwakhe lokuzivocavoca-futhi usesimweni esingcono manje kunangesikhathi esemusha. "Ngisanda kuba neminyaka engama-35, futhi kuzwakala njengonyaka omusha kimi," kusho uChelsea, onencwadi yakhe yesithathu, I-Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang, usanda kukhululwa. "Angiguli nje kuphela, ngizizwa nginamandla futhi ngigxile futhi."

"Ngazalwa ngine-fry fry emlonyeni wami"

"Abazali bami bebengebona abantu abadla kahle kunabo bonke." Kusho u-Chelsea, okwathi, esakhula, wavunyelwa ukuba adle i-Yodels ne-Doritos phakathi kokudla. "Umama wayengumpheki omkhulu, kodwa umqondo wakhe wokudla okulula kwangemva kwesikole wawuyi-mac' kanye noshizi nama-brownies. Ngakho-ke ngangifana, 'Kungani ngineminyaka engu-15 futhi ngilwa nesisindo sami?' Kungithathe isikhathi eside ukuzincisha amandla ngemuva kokuthuthela e-L.A. " Kwaphela iminyaka eyisishiyagalombili, ehambela kokunye aye kokunye, edla ukudla okungenamsoco abese ezilambisa ukuze anciphise isisindo. "Ngisho nangesikhathi ngicabanga ukuthi ngenza izinqumo ezinempilo, bengingenjalo." uthi. "Bengingazi, isibonelo, ukuthi isaladi enamakhilogremu ama-3 wokugqoka akuyona into enhle!" Lapho esediniwe ngokudla kwe-yo-yo, wathola isazi sokudla okwamfundisa ukukhetha ukudla okunempilo futhi adle kaningi emini. "Ngiyakuthanda ukudla," kusho u-Chelsea, njengoba emba esitsheni se-edamame. "Ngidinga ukudla! Angisoze ngenza izijusi zihlanze noma ngingalokothi ngikhohlise kanye ngesikhathi!"

"Yikudla kwami, futhi ngizophuza uma ngithanda!"

Ngenkathi iChelsea yayikulungele ukuzibophezela ohlelweni olusha lwezempilo, kunento eyodwa ayengazimisele ukuyishiya. "Ngitshele isazi sami sokondleka," Angizukuyeka ukuphuza utshwala. Ngiyathanda ukuzihlalela nezintombi zami futhi sidle ama-cocktails nesidlo sakusihlwa, yindlela engiphumula ngayo, "esho. "Uchaze ukuthi ivodka ehlakaniphe ikhalori ayiyimbi kangako, inqobo nje uma uzoyiphuza nesoda. Ukwazi ukuthi bengingaphuza kwenze kwaba lula ukunamathela kulolu hlelo."

Ngokwengxenye enkulu, i-Chelsea idla ukudla okusha okunempilo-igwema noma yini ecutshunguliwe-noma nini lapho kungenzeka. Usuku lwakhe ngokuvamile luqala ngesitsha se-oatmeal esixutshwe ne-protein powder kanye nesipuni sembewu yefilakisi yomhlabathi. I-Turkey kanye nesaladi ye-arugula ene-Parmesan ephuciwe-akukho ukugqoka-kuhlala kuyisidlo sakhe sasemini, futhi ngesidlo sasemini, uvame ukuba ne-sushi. Umfowabo, ongumpheki, uvame ukuphekela izintandokazi zakhe kubalwa i-bass yasolwandle eyosiwe, inkukhu, nesaladi eluhlaza nesinkwa senyama ye-turkey. Ngisho nokuzitika kwakhe kunengqondo: Ukuze athole ukudla okulula okusethiwe, uzovula isikhwama esincane seDoritos (imikhuba yakudala ifa kanzima!), Ababili noma abathathu, bese ekulahla okusele. Kepha i-splurge ayithandayo ngaso sonke isikhathi, ngenhlanhla amamayela ayi-3 000 ukusuka ekhaya. "Kukhona indawo yokudlela eNew Jersey eyenza ama-steak athosiwe nge-mozzarella encibilikile oyifaka ku-gravy," esho, amehlo egqolozele inkumbulo. "Njalo lapho ngidla khona, ngifana nokuthi," Ngicela ukungena lapha, ngicela? ' Ngempela, kungani ngike ngihambe?"

"Ngangiyi-fiasco yokuzivocavoca ngaze ngathola ama-Pilates"

Nakuba ehlale ekhuthele, u-Chelsea uthi ukuthola ukujima akuthandayo-futhi angazibophezela kukho kube yinselelo enkulu."Ngibazamile bonke," uyavuma. "Kodwa ngivamise ukugcina ngishiya phansi ngoba ngizoba nesithukuthezi. Noma, njenge-yoga, ngemuva kwezinyanga ngikwenza, bengisazoba ne-belly flab.

"Futhi ukwenza i-cardio ejimini kungase kucasule kakhulu! Ngiyakuzonda uma kunama-treadmill angu-50 futhi yimi ngedwa lapho, kodwa-ke othile uvele agxume emshinini eduze kwami! Sawubona!"

Ama-pilates, noma kunjalo, alingana kahle. "Bekuyinto ethambile kakhulu emzimbeni wami," kusho u-Chelsea. "Ngimude futhi ngithambile futhi nginomusa kakhulu. Ngingasho ngeqiniso ukuthi kuwushintshile umzimba wami-nempilo yami."

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