Umhlengikazi OngumSulumane Ushintsha Imibono, Ingane Eyodwa ngasikhathi

-Delile

• Kuhlekwa egumbini lokubeletha
• Imibono eguqukayo yokuthi "Muslim" isho ukuthini
• Ukuba ngumama wamaSulumane eMelika
• Abesifazane abahlukene, imibono ehlukene
• Ukwenza ukuxhumana

Kusukela ngesikhathi esemncane, uMalak Kikhia wayethanda ukukhulelwa. “Njalo lapho umama wami noma abangane bakhe bekhulelwe, ngangihlala ngibeka isandla noma indlebe ezibilinini zabo, ngizizwa ngilalele ukuthi ingane ikhahlele. Futhi ngabuza imibuzo eminingi, ”usho kanje.

Njengoba eyindodakazi endala kunazo zonke ezine, waphinde wabamba iqhaza lodade omkhulu ngokusiza umama wakhe ukunakekela odadewabo. “Bengihlala ngizithanda izingane. Nganginezixhobo zokudlala zabahlengikazi ngawo-1980, ngine-stethoscope, isirinji, neBand- Aids, futhi ngangidlala ngayo nonodoli nodadewethu, ”usho kanje. “Ngangazi ukuthi ngisanda kweva eshumini nambili ukuthi ngifuna ukuba ngumhlengikazi obelethayo nokubeletha.”

Kwakuyiphupho ayelifeza. Manje umhlengikazi osebenzela nokubeletha eGeorgia, uMalak usize ukuletha izingane ezingaphezu kwama-200 nokubala. "Kuyiqiniso abakushoyo: Uma uthola umsebenzi owuthandayo, akudingeki ukuthi usebenze usuku olulodwa empilweni yakho," esho.

Kuhlekwa egumbini lokubeletha

UMalak uyisizukulwane sokuqala saseLibya-American. Abazali bakhe basuka eBenghazi njengabafundi ngo-1973 baya eNyuvesi yaseSanta Barbara. Ngaleso sikhathi, babenezingane zabo zokuqala ezimbili - kufaka noMalak - ngaphambi kokuba umndeni uthuthele eColumbia, eMissouri ukuyofunda eNyuvesi yaseMissouri. UMalak uchithe isikhathi esiningi sobuntwana bakhe lapho. Lapho eshada ngo-1995, wathuthela eGeorgia.

Ukusebenza eNingizimu, iningi leziguli azibonayo akuzona ama-Arabhu noma amaSulumane. Yize egqoke isigqoko sokukhuhla ngesikhathi sokulethwa, ibheji lesisebenzi sakhe ngokuziqhenya sikhombisa isithombe sakhe egqoke i-hijab.

"Angikaze ngikufihle ukuthi ngingumSulumane," esho. "Empeleni, ngihlala ngiletha iziguli zami ukuze zazi ukuthi le ntokazi ehlekisayo, ejwayelekile ingumSulumane." Bangase bathole nokubheka izinwele zakhe ezidayiwe ngokunsomi ngaphansi kwesigqoko sakhe sokukhuhla.

Futhi uMalak uthi ube nokuhlangenwe nakho okuhle kwamakhulu nemindeni. Uthi: “Ngizama ukukhanyisa izinto ngenze omama bazizwe bengakhathazeki kakhulu. "Uma ngibona ukuthi umama unovalo, ngingathi, 'Manje kwenzekani lapha? Uvuvukile noma ugcobekile noma uqunjelwe? ’Bahleka kuphule iqhwa.”

UMalak uthi uthola imiyalezo eminingi kuFacebook evela ezigulini ezimbonga ngokwenza kwabo ulwazi lokuzalwa kwabo lube oluhle. "Ngesikhathi ngibeletha ingane yami yekhulu, ngathola imvume emndenini yokuthumela isithombe sakhe nami ezinkundleni zokuxhumana, futhi kwaba sengathi sekusabalala," uyakhumbula. “Lapho iziguli zami ezedlule zibona isithombe, zaqala ukuphawula ukuthi izingane zazo zazingaki! Kwehla izinyembezi kimi. ”

Imibono eguqukayo yokuthi "Muslim" isho ukuthini

Njengokuqina kwakhe, uMalak uyavuma ukuthi wake wabandlululwa emsebenzini, ngqo noma ngokungaqondile. Isigameko esivele obala kakhulu sivele esikoleni sabahlengikazi sisanda kuvela, ngenkathi esebenza esikhungweni sokudayisa izifo.

Kwakutholakala edolobhaneni laseGeorgia elalingafani kakhulu, futhi wayegqoka i-hijab yakhe emsebenzini. Ukhumbula amadoda amaningana ethi awafuni ukubanakekelwa yi-Arab.

“Omunye umnumzana othile wakwenza kwacaca ukuthi wayengafuni ukuthi ngimnakekele ngoba ngingumArabhu nomSulumane. Uthe uzizwa engaphephile futhi wathi kimi, ‘Ngeke nje wazi.’ ”

UMalak ubambisene nozakwabo ukuqinisekisa ukuthi unakekelwa kahle noma nini lapho ekhona kulesi sikhungo, kepha kwathi lapho umphathi wakhe ebona ukuthi akaze amnakekele, wabhekana noMalak.

"Wangibuka ngifile emehlweni futhi wangitshela:" Ungumhlengikazi omuhle. Ngiyakwethemba. Futhi uthathe isifungo esikoleni sabahlengikazi ukuthi uzonakekela zonke iziguli noma ngabe kunjani. Nginomhlane wakho. ’”

Kusukela lapho, uMalak waqala ukunakekela le ndoda. "Uqale wakhononda, kodwa bengimtshela ukuthi yimina noma ukulinda isikhathi eside ukuthi kube khona omunye umhlengikazi."

"Ubengathukuthela," emamatheka. Kepha wahlala ngobungcweti futhi wasamukela isimo sakhe sengqondo kwaze kwaba kwenzeka okuthile abengakulindele. "Ekugcineni, ngaba ngumhlengikazi amthandayo kakhulu futhi ubevele angicele ukuthi ngimnakekele."

Ngesikhathi ubudlelwane babo buthuthuka, le ndoda yaxolisa kuMalak, yamchazela ukuthi wayetshelwe okungeyikho. "Ngamtshela ukuthi ngiyaqonda nokuthi umsebenzi wami ukukhombisa abaseMelika uhlangothi oluhle lwamaMelika aseMelika."

Ukuba ngumama wamaSulumane eMelika

UMalak akayona nje inesi elisiza omama abasha ukuletha izingane zabo emhlabeni. Naye ungumama uqobo, unamadodana amathathu namadodakazi amabili. Bonke bayizakhamizi ezizalwa eMelika njengaye, futhi bonke bakhuliswe ngamaSulumane.

Amadodana akhe angamawele asesikoleni esiphakeme, futhi amadodakazi akhe aneminyaka engu-15 no-12 ubudala, kanti indodana yakhe endala isekolishi naseMkhandlwini Wezempi Kazwelonke.

“Wayefuna ukujoyina eneminyaka engu-17. Ngashaqeka. Angiqondi ezempi futhi engangikucabanga nje ukuthi wayeya empini, ”uyakhumbula. “Kodwa uyindoda enamandla futhi uyaziqhenya ngaleli lizwe njengami. Ngiyaziqhenya ngaye. ”

Ngenkathi uMalak ekhulisa amadodakazi akhe ngemigomo yamaSulumane, ubuye awakhulise ukuba akhululeke ukukhuluma ngezinkinga zabesifazane nezocansi. “Kusukela besebancane bafundiswa igama elithi vaginal. Ngingumhlengikazi wezabasebenzi nokubeletha, phela! ”

Uyabakhulisa futhi bazenzele izinqumo, njengokuthi bayigqoke i-hijab noma cha. "Njengabesifazane, sifanelwe ilungelo lokulawula ukuthi kwenzekani ngemizimba yethu." Uyanezela, “Angiwenzi amantombazane agqoke i-hijab. Ngicabanga ukuthi ukuzibophezela, ngakho-ke uma benquma ukukugqoka, kuyinto okufanele bazibophezele ekugqokeni. Ngincamela ukuthi balinde ukuthatha leso sinqumo kuze kube yilapho sebekhulile. ”

Abesifazane abahlukene, imibono ehlukene

UMalak akasebenzeli nje kuphela ukuguqula imibono kanye nemibono yangaphambi kwesikhathi njengomhlengikazi nomama, futhi usiza ukuvala ukwehlukaniswa kwamasiko ngezinye izindlela. Njengowesifazane ongumSulumane osebenza kwezempilo yabesifazane, usesimweni esiyingqayizivele, kwesinye isikhathi esiza abanye besifazane abangamaSulumane ukuzulazula endaweni entsha uma kukhulunywa ngokunakekelwa kwezempilo.

“Ngokwesiko lethu, izindaba zabantu besifazane, ezinjengokuya esikhathini nokukhulelwa, zithathwa njengeziyimfihlo kakhulu futhi kungafanele zikhulunywe nabesilisa. Abanye besifazane bahamba baze bangakhulumi ngalezi zinkinga nabayeni babo, ”usho kanje, ekhumbula esinye sezikhathi lapho abizwa khona ukuba abonisane ngokulethwa kowesifazane okhuluma isi-Arabhu ohlangabezana nezinkinga. “Babenotolika wesilisa owayekhuluma naye ngocingo, emtshela ukuthi akakhiphele ngaphandle ingane, kodwa wayengaphenduli.

Uthi: “Ngakuqonda ukungabaza kwakhe. “Wayenamahloni okuthi owesilisa uzomtshela okuthile ngokukhulelwa kwakhe. Ngakho ngangena ebusweni bakhe ngamtshela ukuthi udinga ukukhiphela ngaphandle ingane manje, kungenjalo izokufa. Uqonde futhi waqala ukumkhiphela ngaphandle kahle. ”

Ezinyangeni ezintathu kamuva, uskwiza wakubo wesifazane okhulelwe wangena esibhedlela ecela uMalak. “Ube nokuhlinzwa okungelona iqiniso kodwa wabuye wabuya, ngamletha nengane yakhe. Ukuxhumana njengalezi kunomvuzo. "

Ukwenza ukuxhumana

Noma ngabe uletha izingane ezisanda kuzalwa emhlabeni, afundise amadodakazi akhe ukuthi angakhululeka kanjani emizimbeni yawo, noma aguqule imibono ngesiguli esisodwa ngasikhathi sinye, uMalak wazi kahle ukukhathazeka - namathuba amakhulu kakhulu - okuba ngumhlengikazi ongumSulumane eMelika .

"Ngaphandle, ngingowesifazane ongumSulumane ogqoke i-hijab ... ngihamba ngiye endaweni yomphakathi, kuthule kufe wonke umuntu engigqolozele," esho.

Ngakolunye uhlangothi, njengomhlengikazi wezabasebenzi nokulethwa kwezidingo, uMalak uphishekela umsebenzi wakhe wamaphupho futhi uxhuma nabantu ngezikhathi ezithile zobudlelwano babo ezijabulisayo. Futhi kulezo zikhathi lapho enza khona okuthile okubalulekile - wakha amabhuloho.