Ungakuyeka Kanjani Ukucabanga Okucindezelwa Ngokwe-Stress, Ngokuya Kongoti Bezempilo Yengqondo

-Delile

• Isixhumanisi Phakathi Kokucabanga Ngokweqile Kwengcindezi Nemizwa
• Izindlela Ezi-7 Zokunciphisa Ukucindezeleka Nokucabanga Okungaphezulu
• Ziphazamise
• Shintsha umbono wakho
• Zijwayeze ukuba khona
• Sungula isimiso
• Thola ukuvala amehlo
• Themba amathumbu akho
• Kwenze nje
• Buyekeza kwe-

Ku-softball ene-slow-pitch, angikwazanga ukuthenga i-hit. Ngangima e-bat, ngilinde, ngihlele futhi ngilungiselele ibhola. Futhi leyo kwakuyinkinga. Ingqondo yami kanye nakho konke ukucindezelwa kwayo okungapheli kwaphazamisa umuzwa wami wemvelo.

Akumina ngedwa onenkinga yokucindezeleka ngokweqile. Wonke umuntu uyakwenza. Eqinisweni, ucwaningo lukhombisa ukuthi ubuchopho bakho buhlala buzama ukubikezela ikusasa, ukulindela okuzolandela. Ezikhathini ze-caveman, lokho kwakusho isibikezelo esisheshayo sokuthi ibhubesi cishe lalilandela umhlambi wezinyamazane ezigijimayo, ngakho-ke gwema. Namuhla kusho ukucubungula impilo yayo yonke into kumenyu yokudlela enamakhasi amane ngaphambi kokukhetha leyo eyizingxenye ezilinganayo okumnandi nokudla okunobungane noma okubuhlungu ngaphezu kwamagama ahlakaniphile wangempela ozowathumela ku-Facebook ngokulindela ukwahlulelwa ngamakhulu abantu. Kucabange njengokucekela phansi—umzwelo wakho wemvelo weqile futhi ngokushesha amazinga akho okucindezeleka akhuphuka, okwenza kube nzima kakhulu ukufinyelela imigomo yakho.

Izinkinga ubuye ukhathazeke ngokuhlangenwe nakho kwakho kwangaphambilini nezinqumo. (Eh, okufanayo.) Kodwa nakuba ukuzicabangela okuthile kukusiza ukuba usinde futhi uchume, okuningi kungakwenza uzizwe uvaleleke futhi ukhungathekile. "Lapho ucindezelekile ucabanga ngokweqile, ujikeleza futhi uzungeza iluphu esikhundleni sokuqhubekela phambili nokuxazulula izinkinga," kuchaza u-Lori Hilt, Ph.D., umsizi kaprofesa wezengqondo e-Lawrence University e-Appleton, e-Wisconsin.

Isixhumanisi Phakathi Kokucabanga Ngokweqile Kwengcindezi Nemizwa

Abesifazane bavame ukucabangela ngokweqile. Isibonelo, ukuhlaziywa kwe-meta ka-2002 kuphakamisa ukuthi abesifazane banamathuba angu-42% okukhukhuma kunamadoda lapho bezizwa bedangele. Lokhu kungase kube ngenxa yokuthi abesifazane bajwayelene kakhulu nemizwa yabo futhi bazama kanzima ukuqonda ukuthi yini ebangela lokho. Ukuthambekela kwakho kokucabanga ngokweqile nakho kungaxhunyaniswa nokuthi ukhuliswe kanjani. Ukuba nabazali abagxekayo kungase kukumise ukuba ukwenze, mhlawumbe ngenxa yokuthi omama nobaba abanjalo bazama ukugcizelela ngokweqile ngamaphutha, ngokusho kocwaningo olushicilelwe encwadini Ijenali Yengane Psychology Engavamile.

Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi yini ebangela ukucabanga ngokweqile, wonke umuntu angakwazi ukuhambisana. “Sichitha isikhathi sethu esiningi esikhathini esedlule noma esizayo,” kusho uHilt. "Kunzima kakhulu ukuba sesikhathini samanje. Izingqondo zethu zihlala zigijima."

Thatha inkinga yami yokuhamba kancane: ukwehluleka kwami ​​ukushaya ibhola kungathathwa ngokuthi "ukuminyana ngaphansi kwengcindezi," ngokusho kukaSian Beilock, Ph.D., umbhali Chokhe: Okuvezwa Izimfihlo Zobuchopho Ngokuthola Ukulungile Lapho Kufanele. Uma unesikhathi esiningi ngaphambi kokuba wenze, ingqondo eqondayo ithatha lokho okufanele kube ukusabela okungokwemvelo futhi ihlole zonke izenzo noma isixazululo esingaba khona ize ikhamise iphele, kuchaza uBeilock. "Sivame ukucabanga ukuthi ukuba nesikhathi esiningi kuyazuzisa nokuthi ukunaka kakhulu kuyinto enhle, kepha imvamisa ingeza ithuba lephutha futhi kuphazamise ukusebenza," usho kanje. (Okuhlobene: Ungabhekana Kanjani Nokukhathazeka Kokusebenza Nezinzwa Ngaphambi Komjaho)

Ngokufanayo, ukucubungula ukukhetha okuncane okungapheli usuku nosuku (ongakwaba ku-Instagram; imaphi ama-imeyili akho angu-100 nsuku zonke ongawagcina, uwasuse, noma uwaphendule; yimuphi ezinkulungwaneni zezinhlelo namamuvi aku-Netflix ongawabuka) ongangena endleleni isinqumo esibalulekile siyavela. Lokho kungenxa yokuthi ngaso sonke isikhathi lapho kufanele wenze ukukhetha—ukuthi, ukuya ejimini noma ukulala—uqeda amandla akho okuzimisela, okwehlisa ukuzithiba kwakho. Lo mkhuba waziwa njengokukhathala kwesinqumo. "Uma usunayo, uvame ukuthatha inketho ezenzakalelayo ngoba kulula," kusho u-Roy Baumeister, Ph.D., isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo kwezenhlalakahle e-Florida State University kanye nombhali ohlangene wencwadi.I-Willpower: Ukuthola kabusha Amandla Omuntu Amakhulu Kunawo Wonke. U-oda i-pizza ngoba ucindezeleke kakhulu ukuthi ucabange ukuthi uzokwenzelani isidlo sakusihlwa, noma uthenga into ebizayo ngoba ucindezelekile ngokuthenga okuqhathanisayo. (Related: Izinto Eziyi-7 Owayengazazi Ngamandla Akho Okuzimisela)

Izindlela Ezi-7 Zokunciphisa Ukucindezeleka Nokucabanga Okungaphezulu

Kukhona umugqa omuhle phakathi kokucabanga okwakhayo nokungena emcabangweni onobuthi. Okubalulekile wukukwazi ukuyeka ukucabanga ngakho konke okukukhathazayo futhi uqhubekele phambili ekuxazululeni izinkinga—noma ukuvele uziyeke uma kungekho ongakwenza. Zama lawa macebiso lapho ikhanda lakho lizungeza ukucabanga ngokweqile.

Ziphazamise

Lapho ingqondo yakho idlala imicabango efanayo ngokuphindaphindiwe, ziphazamise. Isibonelo, ngaso sonke isikhathi uma uqala ukubuza ukuthi kungani ungakwazi ukweqa i-ex yakho, khumbula ubumnandi obunoshukela be-apula elibomvu elivuthiwe noma, okungcono kakhulu, i-abs ka-Zac Efron. Esikhundleni sokuhlaziya isikhangiso sokuthi umqashi wakho uyihlolisise kanjani iphrojekthi yakho yakamuva, phuma uyobona i-movie ehlekisayo nabangani. Ucwaningo lushicilelwe kumagazini Ukwelashwa Kokucwaninga Kokuziphatha kukhombisa ukuthi abantu abangagxila emicabangweni noma emisebenzini eyakhayo noma engathathi hlangothi babedangele kakhulu kunalabo abaqhubeka nokukhanyisa. Kamuva, lapho usesimweni sengqondo esijabule ngokwengeziwe, ungasebenzela ekutholeni izixazululo nohlelo lokusebenza. (BTW, kukhona *kwesokudla* indlela yokuba nethemba.)

Shintsha umbono wakho

Lapho usucwile ngokuphelele ezinkingeni zakho, kunzima ukugqashula. Ngakho-ke, yenza sengathi ulalele izinkinga zomngane wakho bese umnika iseluleko sokuthi wenzeni. (Ubungeke uthethise i-bestie yakho ngalokho okusengqondweni yakhe, akunjalo?) Ochungechungeni lwezifundo, u-Ethan Kross, Ph.D., isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo e-University of Michigan e-Ann Arbor, eMichigan, uthole ukuthi lapho usebenza njenge ozibukayo, awunamizwa kangako ngezinkinga zakho, umfutho wegazi wakho uphansi, futhi usesimweni esingcono, ngisho nangemva kwezinsuku. Ukushintsha umbono wakho empeleni kushintsha imicabango yakho kanye ne-physiology. Futhi-ngubani owaziyo?—ungase uqhamuke nesixazululo esihlakaniphile noma ezimbili uma usuyekile ukucabanga ngokweqile.

Zijwayeze ukuba khona

Ukwenza noma iseshini emfushane yokuzindla ngengqondo-ukugxila kumzuzu wamanje ngokuletha ukunaka kwakho ekuphefumuleni kwakho futhi ubuyele kuwo noma nini lapho ingqondo yakho izulazula-kungasiza ekunciphiseni ukuduma, ngokusho kocwaningo. Uma ungelona uhlobo lwe-sit-and-be-Zen, thatha isigaba sokuhamba ngebhayisikili noma sokudansa futhi ugxile ekunyakazeni kwakho. "Noma yini eqeqesha ukunaka kwakho njengamanje ingaba wusizo ekugcineni ingqondo yakho ekuzulazuleni kokudlule noma ekucabangeni ngekusasa," kusho uHilt.

Kungumqondo omuhle futhi ukugcina amehlo akho esemklomelweni. Ukuthembela emathunjini akho nokungawanaki wonke amathuba wokugcina kungasiza lapho unenkinga yokucabanga ngokweqile okuhlobene nesinqumo esikhulu, njengokuthenga indlu noma ukwamukela ukunikezwa umsebenzi. "Akungcono ngaso sonke isikhathi ukuba nezinketho eziningi," kusho uBeilock. "Olunye ucwaningo lukhombisa ukuthi uma abantu benezinketho eziningi kakhulu, abaneliseki kakhulu nganoma iyiphi yazo."

Sungula isimiso

Ukuvimbela ukukhathala kwesinqumo, susa izinqumo ezikhohlisayo empilweni yakho. "Kunesu likaMongameli Obama lokugqoka uhlobo olufanayo lwesudi nsuku zonke ngenkathi ehhovisi ukuze angachithi amandla akhe ngokwenza izinqumo ezincane," kusho uBaumeister. "Ngenxa yesizathu esifanayo, abanye abantu banesimiso esimisiwe njalo ekuseni; badla ukudla kwasekuseni okufanayo, bathathe indlela efanayo yokuya emsebenzini nokunye. Awufuni ukusebenzisa amandla akho obuchopho ekwenzeni izinqumo ezingeni elivamile; ufuna ukuyigcinela izinto ezibaluleke kakhulu." (Kepha khumbula, kunezikhathi ezithile okuhle ukushukumisa inqubo yakho.)

Thola ukuvala amehlo

Thola ama-zzz akho—okungenani amahora ayisikhombisa ngobusuku. “Uma unesilinganiso esihle sokulala nokudla kwasekuseni okuhle, uqala usuku ngokuzimisela okukhulu,” kusho uBaumeister. Futhi lokho kukukhuthaza ukuba wenze izinqumo ngaphandle kokuzizwa ucindezelwe. Kepha kuthiwani uma ungakwazi ukusnuza ngoba imicabango ebucayi igijima izungeza ebuchosheni bakho? Ukuqeqeshwa kwengqondo kusiza ngalolu hlobo lokucindezeleka ukucabanga ngokweqile, futhi. Zama ukugxila ekuphefumuleni kwakho, ukubala ubheke emuva, noma ukucula ingoma ekhanda lakho ukuze uthule ingqondo yakho futhi ikuhehe ezweni lamaphupho, kusho uBeilock. (Okuhlobene: Amasu we-3 Breathwork Angathuthukisa Impilo Yakho)

Themba amathumbu akho

Lapho uphendula isikhashana kusuka osukwini lwakho, uzibuza ukuthi ngabe wenze noma usho into elungile, noma ukhathazekile ngekusasa, thululela isifuba sakho bese uthola izeluleko kothile obheka kuye futhi othembela kuye, njengomzali, umqeqeshi noma umeluleki. Yize kusiza ukuba nothile okuhlolela wena, ikhubalo lenhlanhla lingakunikeza umfutho ofanayo: Ocwaningweni lwaseJalimane, abagibeli begalufu abanikezwa ibhola legalofu "elinenhlanhla" futhi batshela ukuthi abanye benze kahle kakhulu ngalo balishaya ibhola kangcono kakhulu kune abangazange baziswe ngalolo daba. Ngokunjalo, lapho ucabanga ngoshintsho lomsebenzi futhi ukhathazeka ngakho konke okungase kungahambi kahle, ukuba nokholo lokuthi konke kuzovele kuphumelele kusiza ekudambiseni enye ingcindezi ebangelwa umuzwa wokuthi kufanele ulawule ngaso sonke isikhathi.

Kwenze nje

Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi uzama ukushaya ibhola noma ukwenza umsebenzi othile, ungagxili. “Vele uqale iphrojekthi kunokulinda futhi ucabange ngazo zonke izici zayo,” kutusa u-Beilock. "Gxila emphumeleni, umgomo owodwa ofuna ukuwufinyelela. Lokho kuvimbela ingqondo yakho ekuzuleni kuzo zonke ezinye izinto ezingaba nomthelela ekusebenzeni kwakho." Ngamanye amazwi, ngeke ucabange ngokweqile. (Okulandelayo: Ukudla okungu-11 Okunganciphisa Ukucindezeleka)

Buyekeza kwe-