U Up? Ungayikhulisa Kink Yakho Kumlingani Wakho

U Up? yikholamu entsha yezeluleko kaHealthline, esiza abafundi ukuhlola ubulili nezocansi.

Ngisacabanga njalo ngesikhathi ngizama ukuletha imicabango yami yezocansi kumfana, emuva kweminyaka engamashumi amabili. Kwakungeyona leyo nto eyinqaba. Benginelukuluku lokwazi ukuboshelwa ngento enjengothayi - {textend} i-plotline yeSecond ne-City ese-WORST.

Lapho ekugcineni ngiba nesibindi sokumbuza ngakho, nganginokuphazamiseka kwemizwa, ngingingiza futhi ngijuluka kulo lonke leli dude elimpofu ngaphambi kokuba abone ukuthi ngangincenga ubugqila obuthile (futhi waphoqeleka njengompetha).

Kungani ngangiphoxeke kangaka? Kungani kwakunzima kangaka ukukhuluma ngalokho engangikufuna? Ngangiqonde ngqo ukusebenza! Ngizama ukuzisika kancane, noma kunjalo. Ingani lokhu bekungaphambi kokuba abantu benze izigidi zamadola bebhala ngezinkontileka ze-BDSM kanye "namagumbi abomvu," ngaphambi kokuthi uRihanna aseluleke ngokusikisela ngesihloko samaketanga neziswebhu engomeni yakhe ethi S & M.

Okubaluleke kakhulu, lokhu kwakungaphambi kokuthi izinhlelo zokusebenza zokuxhumana eziqondene nomphakathi ezinjengeScruff noma uFeeld zithathe ukuqagela ekutholeni abalingani abasekhasini elifanayo, abahlakaniphile. Kulokhu, ukubukeza amaphrofayli ngokungakhathali okufaka kuhlu lokho umuntu akuko ngaphambi kokuba uthumele umyalezo kwenza ingozi yokuba namahloni iphansi kakhulu. Ungenza okufunayo kucace kuphrofayela yakho ngaphambi kokuba umuntu abone ngisho nobuso bakho (futhi kwesinye isikhathi angazi ukuthi abukeka kanjani INGABE isibungu lesi - {textend} ukuthi kulula kangakanani).

Kepha kuthiwani ngabantu abahlangana nabantu abangaxhunyiwe ku-inthanethi, abantu abake baba sebudlelwaneni bokuzibophezela lapho isihloko singakaze sivele khona, noma abantu abangakwazi ukuba nezingxoxo ezingagunci ngezinkanuko zocansi nama-boo (s) abo nganoma yisiphi esinye isizathu?

Noma ngabe inqubekelaphambili esiyenzile inesifiso sobulili nemfundo yezocansi, ukuqala ingxoxo kungaba nzima!

Ukuqalisa ingxoxo

Ngakho-ke iyiphi indlela engcono yokuqala? Nginqume ukuya kumngani wami uLux Alptraum, isazi sezocansi nomlobi wencwadi ethi “Faking It: The Lies Women Tell About Sex - {textend} Kanye Neqiniso Abalivezayo” ukuze ngithole iseluleko.

"Lo omunye umuntu angacabanga ukuthi uxakile noma mhlawumbe [ikink] imbi kabi," kusho u-Alptraum. Lokhu kungenzeka impela futhi kungadumaza, kepha zisekhona izindlela zabo bobabili abalingani bokuya engxoxweni ngozwela nangenhlonipho.

"Kungaba sengozini enkulu yokuvuleleka futhi ngithi, 'Sawubona, ngifuna ukuyifunda le nto,'” kusho yena ngokwesaba ukuqala le ngxoxo, ngaphambi kokungikhumbuza ukuthi kungaphazamisa nokuzethemba yesimemezelo se-kink, noma ngabe sigcina sizwakala sishisa kuwe. Kungasabisa kancane ngoba kungahle kube nengcindezi noma “uma ngikwenza kabi noma ngingazi ukuthi ngenzeni?”

Njengomkhumbi ophihliza iqhwa wabaqalayo be-kinky, sobabili sincoma kakhulu ukuqhathanisa amanothi - {textend} ngokoqobo! Ucwaningo lwe- "Yebo / Cha / Mhlawumbe" lubala imisebenzi ehlukene yezocansi kanye nezithumbana ngakho-ke uma uyigcwalisa, ingasebenza njengesifinyezo salokho nobabili.

U-Lux uncoma ukusebenzisa uhlelo lokusebenza lwe-PlsPlsMe, oluzonikeza wena nomlingani wakho imibuzo bese uveza kuphela lokho nobabili enizama ukukuzama! Kodwa-ke, kulabo abasebudlelwaneni bokuzibophezela, ucabanga nokuthi uhlu olubhalwe ngesandla lungaba yindlela yokuhamba.

“Kuyisibindi esincane ukukhombisa umuntu zonke izinto zakho futhi uvulele ithuba lokuthi ngeke akuthande. I-kink eningi yakha ukwethembana nokwakha ukusondelana. ”

Ukuhlola = / = ukuhlolwa kwamakhono akho

Akunandaba ukuthi ingxoxo uyigoqa kanjani, kusho uLux, thola kusenesikhathi ukuthi lokhu kuwukuhlola hhayi ukuhlolwa.

Uma omunye umuntu engabaza ngoba esaba ukuthi ngeke bakwenze kahle noma badinga nje ukuholwa, sebenzela ukudala indawo esekelayo. Ucabanga ukusondela ngesimo esithi, "Hheyi, sizokuhlola nje lokhu futhi ukuzama kwakho kusho lukhulu kimi," kusebenza izimanga. Lokho futhi kusho ukwamukela impendulo, futhi mhlawumbe ukuthola izindlela zokuyekethisa ukuze nobabili nizizwe nikhululekile futhi nivulekile.

“Kwesinye isikhathi kufanele ube nesibindi, ubeke engcupheni, futhi uqaphele ukuthi ungalimala. Ungathola ukuthi umuntu uyakwala, futhi lokho kuyingxenye nje yocansi nokuthandana. Dala umoya ophansi, ugcine uvulekile, futhi uzwele kunoma iyiphi impendulo oyitholayo. ”

Iseluleko esihle kakhulu - {textend} futhi nangu owami njengokuthinta okuvalekile, ushukela: Yeka ukuzicabangela "njengoxakile" uma wehla kokuthize okungajwayelekile kakhulu. Uma wonke umuntu obandakanyekayo eyi-GGG (lokho “kuhle, ukupha, kanye nomdlalo”) futhi ungaphuli imvume yomuntu, ufanele ukuthola ukuthi yini ekwenza ujabule futhi waneliseke!

Ilukuluku elinempilo konke kuyingxenye yocansi olunempilo, ngakho-ke phuma kulabo bangozankosi abangacabangi, uthole igama elihle eliphephile, bese wehla!

UReed Brice ungumbhali nosomahlaya ozinze eLos Angeles. UBrice uyi-alum ye-UC Irvine's Claire Trevor School of the Arts futhi waba ngumuntu wokuqala we-transgender owake waphonswa emhlanganweni wobungcweti neThe Second City. Lapho singakhulumi itiye lokugula ngengqondo, uBrice ubuye abhale ikholomu yethu yothando neyezocansi, "U Up?"