Umlobi: Louise Ward
Usuku Lokudalwa: 3 Ufebhuwari 2021
Ukuvuselela Usuku: 23 Unovemba 2024
Anonim
Divorce Dynamics {Why are we always seeking one?}
Ividiyo: Divorce Dynamics {Why are we always seeking one?}

-Delile

Angiziqhenyi ngengikwenzile, kodwa ngiyazama ukufunda emaphutheni ami ukwenza izinto zibe ngcono ezinganeni zami.

Sengizokwembula amathambo ama-ol amakhulu ekhabethe lami: Angigcinanga nje esigabeni se-brace esingesihle ngisemncane - nami ngadlula esigabeni esiqinela abanye. Uhlobo lwami lokuhlukumeza lwadlula "izingane eziyizingane" futhi lwaba yinhlamvu ephelele engu - # #! Kumiphefumulo empofu, engaqaphile ngaphandle kwesizathu esizwakalayo.

Abantu engibakhethile bekuvame ukuba yishwa abaseduze kwami ​​- umndeni noma abangane abahle. Basekhona empilweni yami namuhla, kungaba ngesibopho noma ngesimangaliso esithile esincane. Kwesinye isikhathi babheka emuva kuyo bahleke ngokungakholwa, ngoba kamuva ngaba (futhi ngisenjalo namanje) indlovukazi yabantu eyeqisayo nendlovukazi engabhekani.

Kepha angihleki '. Ngiyakhothama. Ngisadumele ngokuphelele, uma ngikhuluma iqiniso.


Ngicabanga ngesikhathi engabiza ngaso umngani wobuntwana phambi kweqembu ngokugqoka ingubo efanayo usuku nosuku. Ngikhumbula ngikhomba uphawu lokuzalwa lomuntu ukuze amenze azazi ngalo. Ngikhumbula ngitshela izindaba ezethusayo komakhelwane abasebasha ukubasabisa ngokungalali.

Okubi kakhulu ngesikhathi ngisabalalisa amahlebezi okuthi umngani athole isikhathi sakhe kuye wonke umuntu esikoleni. Ngingomunye wababone kwenzeka, futhi kwakungadingi ukuqhubekela phambili kunalokho.

Okungenze ngaba ijezi nakakhulu ukuthi nganginamaqhinga kakhulu ngobubi bami bezikhathi ezithile, ngakho-ke ngangiqabukela ngibanjwa. Lapho umama ezwa ngalezi zindaba, usongelwa kabi njengami manje ngoba akazange abone ukuthi kuqhubeka. Njengomama uqobo, leyo ngxenye iyangethusa ngempela.

Manje kungani ngikwenze? Kungani ngingama? Futhi ngizigcina kanjani izingane zami ekuhlukunyezweni - noma ekuhlukunyezweni - njengoba zikhula? Le yimibuzo engicabanga ngayo kaningi, futhi ngilapha ukuyiphendula ngombono wobuqhwaga obuguquliwe.


Kungani iziqhwaga

Kungani-ke? Ukungavikeleki, okukodwa. Ukubizela umngani wakho ngokugqoka into efanayo usuku nosuku… kulungile, mfo. Lokhu kuqhamuka entombazaneni ebigqoke uboya bayo bokhozi baseMelika kuze kube yilapho izindololwane ziguga futhi zidlula esigabeni esinzima sokungagezi ukuze kugcinwe "ama-curls" ayizintambo ezi-crispy impela zezinwele ezibanjwe yi-gel zicela nje ukuwashwa. Bengingewona umklomelo.

Kepha ngaphandle kokuphepha, bekuyingxenye eyodwa evivinya amanzi ayishumi nesiyaluyalu futhi ingxenye eyodwa ikholelwa ukuthi le yindlela amantombazane wami ayephathana ngayo. Kulokho, ngazizwa ngifanelekile ngoba kwakukhona abantu laphaya abenza okubi kakhulu.

Intombazane yayibe ngumholi weqembu lethu lomngane ngoba abanye babemesaba. Ukwesaba = amandla. Bekungeyona indlela esebenza ngayo yonke le nto? Futhi ayengazange yini amantombazane amadala omakhelwane abhale ukuthi "LOSER" emgqonyeni womgwaqo ngami ngaphandle kwendlu yami? Bengingayithathi ukuthi kude. Kepha silapha, futhi eminyakeni engama-25 kamuva, ngiyaxolisa ngezinto eziyizimungulu engazenza.

Lokho kungithatha ukuthi ngiye nini futhi ngani: inhlanganisela yokuvuthwa okuhlobene nolwazi. Akumangazanga muntu, ngaphatheka kabi lapho amantombazane amadala engangicabanga ukuthi angabangani bami engixwaya. Futhi abantu bayeka ukufuna ukuzihlalela nomholi wethu weqembu lomngane ongesabi ngokuhamba kwesikhathi - kubandakanya nami.



Ngazibonela ukuthi cha, bekungeyona indlela "ukuthi amantombazane angontanga yami aphathana kanjani." Hhayi uma behlose ukubagcina njengabangane, noma kunjalo. Ukuba yiminyaka eyishumi nambili kwakunzima ngokwanele… thina mantombazane kwakudingeka sithandane.

Lokho kusishiya nombuzo wokugcina: Ngizigcina kanjani izingane zami ekuhlukunyezweni - noma ekuhlukunyezweni - njengoba zikhula?

Ngikhuluma kanjani nezingane zami ngokuhlukunyezwa

Ah, manje le ngxenye inzima. Ngizama ukuhola ngokwethembeka. Umncane wami akekho okwamanje, kodwa endala yami ikhule ngokwanele ukuba iqonde. Ngaphezu kwalokho, usenayo ifreyimu yesethenjwa, ngenxa yesimo esiguqukayo ekamu lasehlobo. Akunandaba ukuthi kwenzeka nini noma ngani, kwenzeka, futhi kungumsebenzi wami ukumlungiselela. Yingakho sigcina inkhulumomphendvulwano yomndeni evulekile.

Ngiyamtshela ukuthi bengingahlali ngimuhle njalo ( * ukukhwehlela ukukhwehlela * ngaphansi konyaka wonyaka) nokuthi uzohlangana nezingane ezihlukumeza abanye kwesinye isikhathi ukuze zizizwe kahle. Ngibatshela ukuthi kulula ukuthenga ekuziphatheni okuthile uma ucabanga ukuthi kukwenza uphole noma kwenza izixuku ezithile zikuthande kakhulu.


Kepha esinakho yindlela esiphathana ngayo, futhi ungumnikazi wezenzo zakho ngaso sonke isikhathi. Nguwe kuphela ongabeka ithoni yalokho ozokwenza nongakwenzi. Okwenzayo nongakwemukeli.


Angidingi ukukutshela ukuthi umuzwa wokulwa nokuxhashazwa uyaphila - futhi kufanele. Kukhona nezehlakalo ezeqisayo ezindabeni zabantu abakholisa abanye ukuthi abalutho futhi abakufanele ukuphila. Angikwazi ukucabanga ukufaka noma ukuhlala naleso sehlakalo, kusuka ohlangothini lomuntu.

Futhi masibe ngokoqobo. Asikwazi ukuyivumela ifike kulelo zinga ukuze isenze sikhulume ngayo futhi sihlangane nayo. Ngoba ubuxhwanguxhwangu abenzeki nje ebaleni lokudlala noma emahholo esikole esithile esiphakeme kwenye indawo. Kuyenzeka emsebenzini. Phakathi kwamaqembu omngani. Emindenini. Ku-inthanethi. Yonke indawo. Futhi ngaphandle kokubheka iqembu lomngane, ubudala, ubulili, ubuhlanga, inkolo, noma okunye okunye okuguqukayo, sikule nto ndawonye.

Singabantu nabazali abenza konke okusemandleni ethu, futhi asifuni izingane zethu nhlangothi zombili zesimo sokuxhashazwa. Lapho siletha ulwazi oluthe xaxa - futhi lapho sizimisele ukuhlanganyela ukuthatha ndawonye - kulapho sizoba ngcono khona.


UKate Brierley ungumbhali omkhulu, u-freelancer, futhi ungumama ongumfana kaHenry no-Ollie. Owine i-Rhode Island Press Association Editorial Award, wathola iziqu ze-bachelor’s journalism kanye ne-master’s emtatsheni wezincwadi nasezifundweni zolwazi e-University of Rhode Island. Ungumthandi wezilwane ezihlengayo, izinsuku zasolwandle zomndeni, namanothi abhalwe ngesandla.


-Yintshisekelo

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