Ezingu-8 ze-Life’s Biggest Shake-Ups, Zixazululiwe

-Delile

• Uyahamba
• Udlula Isehlukaniso
• Uyashada
• Umngane Wakho Omkhulu Uhamba
• Ulahlekelwa Umsebenzi Wakho
• Ukhulelwe okokuqala ngqa
• Umuntu Omthandayo Uthola Izindaba Ezithusayo
• Ukufa Okuseduze Nekhaya
• Buyekeza kwe-

Okuwukuphela kwento engaguquki empilweni wushintsho. Sonke sisizwile lesi sisho, kodwa siyiqiniso-futhi singethusa. Abantu bathanda inqubo ejwayelekile, nezinguquko ezinkulu, ngisho nokwamukela abakhulelwayo noma abashadayo, ngokwesibonelo-kungadala uhlobo oluthile losizi njengoba usuka kokujwayelekile uye kokungaziwa, kusho uCheryl Eckl, umbhali we Inqubo YOKUKHANYA: Ukuphila Onqenqemeni Lwe-Razor Loshintsho.

Kepha njengoba impilo ihlale igcwele lezi zinguquko, kungokwethu okuhle ukuthi sifunde ukuzivumelanisa nezimo. Phela, ukwamukela ushintsho-esikhundleni sokulwa nalo-kuzokwenza ube namandla. Lapha, ukunyakaziswa okukhulu kwempilo okuyisishiyagalombili, kokubili okujabulisayo nokudabukisayo, nokuthi ungabhekana kanjani nakho ngokuthula.

Uyahamba

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"Ikhaya lethu lifanekisela okwedlule, izinkumbulo, ukuphepha, kanye nomuzwa wokuqiniseka. Uma sinyakaza, konke lokhu kuyazanyazanyiswa," kusho u-Ariane de Bonvoisin, isikhulumi, umqeqeshi nombhali we Izinsuku Zokuqala ezingama-30: Umhlahlandlela Wakho Wokwenza Noma Yiluphi Uguquko Lube LULA.

Iseluleko sakhe esihle kakhulu: Njengoba upakisha, nikela ngangokunokwenzeka kude-unganamatheli ezintweni zakho ezindala ukuze uthole induduzo. “Uma sidedela izinto zesikhathi esidlule, empeleni sivula indawo yezigigaba ezintsha, okuhlangenwe nakho okusha, abantu abasha, ngisho nezinto ezintsha ezizayo ezimpilweni zethu,” usho kanje. Kodwa-ke, bambelela kumamementos akho, njengamajenali, imidwebo yezingane, nezithombe zomndeni. Akukhona nje ukuthi lezi zinto zinencazelo yangempela, kodwa zingakusiza ukuthi uguqule indlu yakho entsha ibe ikhaya.

Lapho uthatha uhambo, yenza indlu yakho entsha ithokomele futhi ikhululeke ngokushesha ngangokunokwenzeka ukuze uzizwe uphansi. Yimininingwane emincane esiza, kusho u-de Bonvoisin. Futhi hambahamba kakhulu endaweni yangakini entsha - thola isitolo esihle sekhofi, indawo yokuzivocavoca, ipaki entsha, bese uzama ukuvuleka nobungane kuwo wonke umuntu.

Udlula Isehlukaniso

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"Ukuphela komshado kuyindlela yokulahlekelwa - ulahlekelwa yisiqu somlingani, ikhaya lakho, namathemba akho nezinhlelo zakho zekusasa naloyo muntu, ngakho-ke nakanjani kubangela usizi," kusho uKaren Finn, Ph.D., umsunguli weNqubo Esebenzayo Yesehlukaniso. Futhi noma ngabe usuvele wathandana nesithandwa sakho, ukuqala isahluko esisha ngaphandle kwakhe kungaba nzima, kudabukise futhi kube nesizungu.

Ngesinyathelo sokuqala, uFinn weluleka ukubhala "incwadi yokuvalelisa," kufaka konke okubuhlungu ngokulahlekelwa. Lokhu kuzivocavoca ngokomzwelo kuzokusiza ukuthi uvume imizwa yosizi, kusho uFinn. Bese, bhala "incwadi yokubona" ​​futhi ufake yonke into olangazelela ukuyenza esikhathini esizayo, esiza ukususa ukugxila kwakho kusukela osizini kuya ekwamukeleni okuhle empilweni yakho.

Okulandelayo? Zazi futhi. Phinda uvakashele imisebenzi oyenze useyingane, njengokudansa noma ukudweba, kusho uFinn. Noma vakashela i-Meetup.com, ingosi yokuxhumana yamaqembu endawo ahlangana ukuze abambe iqhaza emisebenzini ehlukene, ukusuka ekugijimeni, kuye ekudleni, kuye kwiklabhu yokubhuka. “Uma uzwa ubuhlungu, uvele ufune ukucasha, kodwa ukubona izinto ezijabulisayo okungenzeka uyazenza kungakunika ugqozi,” kusho uFinn. Ngeke wazi ukuthi yini ongayithola ukuthi uyayijabulela, noma ukuthi ubani ongahlangana naye kunqubo.

Uyashada

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Impela, ukubopha ifindo kungaba esinye sezikhathi ezijabulisa kakhulu empilweni yakho, kepha "ukushada kungenye yezinguquko ezinesiyaluyalu esizibekezelela njengabantu," kusho uSheryl Paul, umeluleki nombhali Izinguquko Eziqaphelayo: Izinguquko Ezi-7 Ezivamile (Nesibuhlungu) Zempilo. Empeleni, uPawulu ukufanisa "nokuhlangenwe nakho kokufa," ngomqondo wokuthi nathi kufanele yekela sobunikazi esasinabo phambilini njengomuntu ongashadile, ongashadile.

Uma uhlangabezana nama-jitters angaphambi komshado, khuluma nomlingani wakho noma ubhale ngakho-into ebaluleke kakhulu ukukhipha leyo mizwa. UPaul uthi: "Abantu abanezinsuku zomshado ezijabulisa kakhulu yibo abazivumela ukuthi bavumele imizwa futhi baqonde ukuthi yini abayiyekayo."

Okunye okusizayo: Themba ukuthi ngakolunye uhlangothi losuku lwakho lomshado kuyoba ukunethezeka nokuzinza komshado, kusho uPaul. Lokhu kungasebenza njengephedi yokwethula ukuthi uthathe izingozi ezintsha futhi uhlole izici zakho ezintsha.

Umngane Wakho Omkhulu Uhamba

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Uke wezwa ngaphambilini: Ubudlelwano kulula kakhulu ukubugcina lapho abantu ababili bekwazi ukubonana njalo futhi bangabikezela. Ngakho lapho othile ethutha, “awukwazi ukuzibamba uzizwe ulahlekelwe futhi uyazibuza ukuthi uzokwazi yini ukulondoloza ubungane obufanayo bebanga elide,” kusho u-Irene S. Levine, isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo nomdali we-TheFriendshipBlog.com.

Uma i-BFF yakho ithatha umsebenzi ezweni lonke (noma ngisho namahora ambalwa ukusuka lapho), kunokuba uthi, 'Sizohlala sixhumana,' yenza uhlelo lukakhonkolo lokuthi nihlangana nini, kusho uLevine. Dala ukuphunyuka kwentombi yonyaka noma yonyaka waminyaka yonke ukuze nikwazi ukujabulela isikhathi esingaphazanyiswanga ndawonye futhi nenze izinkumbulo ezintsha. Okwamanje, sebenzisa ubuchwepheshe ukuze uzuze: i-Skype, i-FaceTime, noma iseshini ye-Google Hangout ingaba yinto elandelayo engcono kakhulu yokubamba usofa njengoba ubujwayele ukwenza.

Ngokuqondene nokulungisa impilo ngaphandle kocingo lwakho, ungalenzi iphutha lokucabanga ukuthi wonke umuntu usevele unabangani bakhe; ubungani buyamanzi futhi abantu abaningi ohlangana nabo bazokulangazelela ukwenza abangane njengoba unjalo, kusho uLevine. Bhalisa esitudiyo esisha se-yoga, thatha isigaba sokubhala, noma ujoyine inhlangano esuselwe emphakathini ezokusiza ukuthi uqhubeke nokuthanda kwakho futhi uhlangane nabantu abasha abanesifiso esifanayo.

Ulahlekelwa Umsebenzi Wakho

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“Njengabantu abadala, sichitha cishe amaphesenti angu-75 ezikhathi zethu zokusebenza emsebenzini, futhi sivame ukuzichaza ngalokho esikwenzayo,” kusho u-Eckl. "Uma siphelelwa umsebenzi, ukulahleka kobunikazi okubethusa kakhulu abantu."

Isisho esithi "umthwalo owabelana ngawo uwumthwalo unqanyuliwe" siba yiqiniso uma usuyekiwe, kusho uMargie Warrell, umqeqeshi omkhulu futhi Forbes umlobi wamakholomu. Ukukhuluma nomngane kungase kube ukwelapha okujulile, ikakhulukazi uma naye uke waba sesimweni esifanayo. "Zizwe ukhululekile ukuthatha isonto elilodwa noma amabili ukuze uthole" amabhele akho ", kepha ngaphandle kokuthi ucebe ngokwanele ukuthi ungachitha unyaka uhamba ngesikebhe eFrance Riviera, kungenzeka ukuthi ukhonzwa kangcono ngokubuyela emuva ehhashini bese uthola ukuthi yini elandelayo, Uthi.

Uma ungena kabusha emakethe yemisebenzi, khumbula ukuthi ukucabanga okumatasa nokwakhayo kuzokusiza ukuthi ugqame. "Abaqashi bakhangwa kakhulu abantu abangakavumeli ukuhlehliswa ukubacindeze," kusho uWarrell. Chaza ukuthi isikhathi sokuphumula sikuvumele kanjani ukuthi uphinde uqondise umkhondo womsebenzi wakho, uthuthukise amakhono akho obuchwepheshe, uchithe isikhathi ngokuzithandela, noma uphinde uxhumane nomndeni. Yini okufanele uyigweme ezingxoxweni? Noma yiluphi ulimi olukuphonsa njengesisulu noma lubeke icala kumqashi noma umphathi wakho wangaphambili, usho kanjalo. Futhi ungakhohlwa ukuzinakekela: Ukuqhubeka nokuzivocavoca umzimba njalo kuzokusiza kahle hhayi esikhathini esifushane, kodwa futhi kukusiza ukuphatha ukucindezeleka kangcono futhi wakhe ukuzethemba okuzokusiza ukuhlukanise esikhathini esizayo, Kuchaza uWarrell.

Ukhulelwe okokuqala ngqa

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Lapho uphawu lokuhlanganisa luvela esivivinyweni sokukhulelwa, uyabona ukuthi impilo njengoba wazi ukuthi izoshintsha. "Uguquko olukhulu olwenzeka ngokuba nengane lusuka enhlosweni yokuzicabangela lona luye ekusebenzeleni umuntu omncane," kusho u-de Bonvoisin. Ukufunda izincwadi zokuba ngumzali nezindatshana kungakusiza ukuthi uqonde ngezinto ezisebenzayo, kepha wazi ukuthi abaningi ngeke babe nengqondo kuze kube yilapho ubambe ingane ezandleni zakho.

Futhi uma uzizwa unovalo, yazi ukuthi kujwayelekile. UJill Smokler, umama wezingane ezintathu nomsunguli weScaryMommy.com, wakhululwa ukukhulelwa kwakhe kokuqala (okungahlelwanga). “Ngangishadile, kodwa izingane zazingekho nhlobo ku-radar yami,” uyakhumbula. Into elula eyamsiza ukuba alungise: Ukuthenga izingubo zezingane ezindaweni zokuthenga zezingane. "Ngajabula kakhulu ngokubuka izicathulo ezincane!" uthi. "Futhi, ukuba nenja kusizile, njengoba besesifundile vele ukulungisa uhlelo lwethu mayelana nezidingo zesilwane sethu-umkhuba omuhle wokuba nomntwana."

Okokugcina, chitha isikhathi usebenza ebuhlotsheni bakho. Yiba mnandi nothando nomlingani wakho phakathi nezinyanga eziyisishiyagalolunye ngangokunokwenzeka. Noma ngabe ingcono kakhulu kweyake yaba khona, izothatha indawo yesibili okwesikhashana lapho ingane ifika,” kusho u-de Bonvoisin.

Umuntu Omthandayo Uthola Izindaba Ezithusayo

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"Into enzima kakhulu ngomuntu omthandayo obhekene nokugula okubi noma ukulimala umuzwa wokuthi awunakuzisiza onakho. Akukho ongakwenza okungakwenza ukuthi kulunge," kusho u-Eckl, owabhala ngokunakekela umyeni wakhe onomdlavuza Ukufa Okuhle: Ukubhekana nekusasa ngokuthula.

Ngemuva kwesikhashana, khumbula ukuthi akusho mayelana nezeluleko zakho, noma lokho ocabanga ukuthi kufanele bakwenze, kusho u-de Bonvoisin. "Zama ukuhlala unethemba futhi uqiniseke ukuthi bayazi ukuthi uzoba khona nganoma yini abayidingayo, ezohluka usuku nosuku." (Uma kunguwe onakekelayo, ungakhohlwa ukuthi nawe kudingeka uzinakekele.) Futhi mphathe lowo muntu ngendlela obukade wenza ngayo ngaphambili: Hleka nabo, bahlanganyele futhi ungababoni begula. "Umphefumulo wabo awuguli noma uthintwe nganoma iyiphi indlela," kusho u-de Bonvoisin.

Futhi, cabanga ukujoyina iqembu lokusekela labanye ababhekene nokugula noma ukukhuluma nomeluleki noma umelaphi, kusho u-Eckl. "Lokhu kungasiza ukwenza lokho ozizwa kungavamile kuwe futhi kukusize ubhekane nokukhungatheka okukhona ekunakekeleni umuntu omthandayo ogulayo." Izinhlangano zikazwelonke zezifo ezifana ne-MS, Parkinson's, noma i-Alzheimer's zinganikeza ukusekelwa ngokomzwelo, amathiphu okubhekana nesimo, iseluleko salokho ongayilindela ezigabeni ezahlukene, kanye nokukhululeka emuzweni wokuthi uwedwa. Enye insiza u-Eckl ayitusayo ithi Share the Care, esiza abantu ukuthi bamise inethiwekhi yokunakekela ukuze banakekele othile ogula kakhulu.

Ukufa Okuseduze Nekhaya

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Uma umuntu omthandayo edlula emhlabeni, ushintsho olukhulu okungekho muntu ongabhekana nalo kalula, kusho uRussell Friedman, umqondisi omkhulu weGrief Recovery Institute. Ngisho nakumuntu ofana noFriedman, osebenza nabantu abasosizini njengomsebenzi futhi owazi okuningi ngosizi, ukufa kukanina bekungokomzwelo ngendlela emangalisayo.

Isinyathelo sokuqala: Thola umuntu ozovele akulalele-futhi angazami lungisa wena, kusho uFriedman. "Umuntu okhuluma naye kufanele abe 'njengenhliziyo enezindlebe, elalele ngaphandle kokuhlaziya." Kubaluleke ngendlela emangalisayo ukubona imizwa yakho, futhi ukukhuluma nomuntu kungakuvumela ukuthi uphume ekhanda lakho, ungene enhliziyweni yakho.

Yiqiniso, asikho isikhathi esimisiwe esingavumela umuntu ukuba "adlule" ngokufa kothandekayo. “Eqinisweni, kuyinganekwane eyingozi kunazo zonke mayelana nosizi ukuthi isikhathi selapha wonke amanxeba,” kusho uFriedman. "Isikhathi asikwazi ukulungisa inhliziyo ephukile njengoba singenakulungisa nethayi eliqhuma." Uma uqonda kusenesikhathi ukuthi isikhathi ngeke siyipholise inhliziyo yakho, kuzoba lula ukwenza umsebenzi uwedwa ozokuvumela ukuthi uye phambili, usho kanje.

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