Izeluleko Ezingu-8 Zokuzulazula Ezikhathini Ezinzima Engizifundile Ukuphila Nesifo Esingamahlalakhona

-Delile

• 1. Cela usizo
• Ungahle ube nekhono ekuphatheni impilo uwedwa, kodwa akudingeki ukuthi ufunde konke wedwa.
• 2. Yiba nobungane ngokungaqiniseki
• 3. Phatha izinsizakusebenza zakho
• Ungathola ukuthi izimo zakho eziyinselele zikunikeza ukushintsha kombono uma kukhulunywa ngokuphila impilo egculisayo.
• 4. Yizwa imizwa yakho
• 5. Thatha ikhefu kuwo wonke lowo muzwa
• 6. Yakha incazelo ezinseleleni
• 7. Hleka indlela yakho ngokusebenzisa izinto ezinzima
• 8. Yiba umngane wakho omkhulu
• Kwangathi ungathola ukuxhumana okujulile nawe

Ukuzulazula esimweni sempilo kungenye yezinselelo ezinkulu iningi lethu elingabhekana nazo. Kodwa-ke kukhona ukuhlakanipha okukhulu okungatholwa kulokhu okuhlangenwe nakho.

Uma ngabe uke wachitha isikhathi nabantu abaphila nokugula okungalapheki, kungenzeka ukuthi uqaphele ukuthi sinamandla amakhulu - njengokuhamba ngokungaqiniseki kwempilo sinamahlaya, sicubungula imizwa emikhulu, futhi sihlale sixhumene nemiphakathi yethu ngesikhathi sobunzima izikhathi.

Ngiyakwazi lokhu mathupha ngenxa yohambo lwami lokuphila ne-multiple sclerosis kule minyaka engu-5 edlule.

Ukuzulazula esimweni sempilo kungenye yezinselelo ezinkulu iningi lethu elingabhekana nazo. Kodwa-ke kukhona ukuhlakanipha okukhulu okungatholwa kulokhu okuhlangenwe nakho - ukuhlakanipha okusebenzisekayo phakathi kwezinye izimo zokuphila eziyinselele, futhi.

Noma ngabe uhlala unempilo, uzulazula nobhadane, ulahlekelwe ngumsebenzi noma ubudlelwano, noma ubhekene nanoma iyiphi enye inselelo empilweni, ngiqoqe ukuhlakanipha, izimiso, kanye “nokugula” imikhuba emihle engakusiza ucabange noma uhlanganyele nalezi zithiyo ngendlela entsha.

1. Cela usizo

Ukuphila ngesimo esingelapheki, esingelapheki kudinge ukuthi ngifinyelele kubantu abasempilweni yami ukuze bangisekele.

Ekuqaleni, nganginesiqiniseko sokuthi izicelo zami zosizo olwengeziwe - ukucela abangani ukuba beze lapho ngizoqokwa khona kwezokwelashwa kanye nami noma ukuyolanda igilosa ngesikhathi sokuqubuka kwami ​​- kwakuzothathwa njengomthwalo kubo. Esikhundleni salokho, ngithole ukuthi abangane bami balithakasele ithuba lokukhombisa ukunakekela kwabo ngendlela ekhonjiwe.

Ukuba nabo kwenza impilo yami yaba mnandi kakhulu, futhi ngiyabona ukuthi kunezindlela ezithile ukugula kwami ​​okusisize ngakho ekusisondeleni ndawonye.

Ungahle ube nekhono ekuphatheni impilo uwedwa, kodwa akudingeki ukuthi ufunde konke wedwa.

Ungathola ukuthi njengoba uvumela abantu obathandayo ukuthi babonakale futhi bakusekele ngesikhathi esinzima, empeleni impilo iba ngcono uma beseduze.

Ukuhlala nomngani egumbini lokulinda lapho ubonana nabezempilo nawe, ukushintshana ngemibhalo engasile, noma ukuba nezikhathi zasebusuku zokuxoxa ndawonye kusho injabulo eyengeziwe, uzwela, isisa nobungane empilweni yakho.

Uma uzivulela ukuxhumana nabantu abakukhathalelayo, le nselele yempilo ingaletha uthando nangaphezulu emhlabeni wakho kunakuqala.

2. Yiba nobungane ngokungaqiniseki

Kwesinye isikhathi impilo ayihambi ngendlela obuhlele ngayo. Ukutholakala unesifo esingelapheki kuyinkambo yokuphahlazeka lelo qiniso.

Ngenkathi kutholakala ukuthi ngine-MS, nganginovalo lokuthi kusho ukuthi impilo yami ngeke ijabule, izinze, noma yenelise njengoba ngangicabanga njalo.

Isimo sami ukugula okungaqhubekela phambili okungathinta ukuhamba kwami, umbono, namanye amakhono amaningi omzimba. Angazi ngokweqiniso ukuthi ikusasa lingiphatheleni.

Ngemuva kweminyaka embalwa ngichithe ngihlala ne-MS, ngikwazile ukwenza ushintsho olukhulu endleleni engihlala ngayo nalokho kungaqiniseki. Ngifunde ukuthi ukuthatha inkohliso "yekusasa elithile" kusho ukuthola ithuba lokusuka enjabulweni encike ezimweni siye enjabulweni engenamibandela.

Lokho kungukuphila okusezingeni elilandelayo, uma ungibuza.

Esinye sezethembiso engazenza kimi ekuqaleni kohambo lwami lwezempilo kwaba ukuthi noma yini eyenzekayo, ngiphethe ukuthi ngiyiphendula kanjani, futhi ngithanda ukuthatha indlela enhle ngangokunokwenzeka.

Ngizibophezele naku hhayiUkuyeka injabulo.

Uma uzulazula ngokwesaba ngekusasa elingaqinisekile, ngikumema ukuthi nidlale umdlalo wokuqamba izingqondo ukusiza ukuhlela kabusha imicabango yenu. Ngiwubiza ngomdlalo "Wecala Elibi Kunazo Zonke". Nakhu ukuthi ungadlala kanjani:

1. Vuma ukwesaba okudlala emqondweni wakho."Ngizoba nokukhubazeka kokuhamba okungivimba ukuthi ngikwazi ukuhamba izintaba nabangani bami."
2. Cabanga indlela eyodwa noma ngaphezulu ongasiza ngayo kuleso simo esesabekayo. Lezi yizimpendulo zakho "ezinhle kakhulu"."Ngizothola noma ngisungule iqembu langaphandle noma iklabhu elifinyelelekayo.""Ngizoba ngumngane onomusa futhi ongisekelayo kuyo yonke imizwa engase ivele."
3. Cabanga ngemiphumela emihle ezimpendweni zesinyathelo 2."Ngizohlangana nabangane abasha abangakwazi ukuhlala nezinselelo zokuhamba.""Ngizokwazi ukuzizwa nginamandla amakhulu kunakuqala ngoba olunye uvalo ebenginalo lwenzekile futhi ngithole ukuthi empeleni ngiphile kahle."

Lokhu kuvivinya kungakushukumisela ekubeni uzizwe ubambekile noma ungenamandla okugcoba ngesihibe uqobo, futhi esikhundleni salokho gxila ekuphenduleni kwakho kuso. Ngaphakathi kwempendulo yakho kukhona amandla akho.

3. Phatha izinsizakusebenza zakho

Ukuba namandla amancane emzimbeni ngenxa yezimpawu zami kwakusho ukuthi ngesikhathi sokugqashuka kwezimpawu angibange ngisaba nesikhathi sokubeka amandla ami kulokho okwakungasho lutho kimi.

Okuhle noma okubi, lokhu kungiholele ekutheni ngibheke ukuthi yini ebaluleke kakhulu kimi - nokuzibophezela ekwenzeni okuningi kwakho.

Lokhu kugudluka kombono kungivumele nokuthi nginciphise izinto ezinganelisi kangako ebezivame ukuminyanisa impilo yami.

Ungathola ukuthi izimo zakho eziyinselele zikunikeza ukushintsha kombono uma kukhulunywa ngokuphila impilo egculisayo.

Zinike isikhathi nendawo yokubhala, uzindle, noma ukhulume nomuntu omethembayo ngalokho okufundayo.

Kunemininingwane ebalulekile esingayembulelwa thina ngezikhathi zobuhlungu. Ungakusebenzisa kahle lokhu okufundwayo ngokufaka impilo yakho kokuningi okwazisa ngokweqiniso.

4. Yizwa imizwa yakho

Ekuqaleni, nganginobunzima bokuvumela iqiniso lokuxilongwa kwami ​​kwe-MS enhliziyweni yami. Ngangesaba ukuthi uma ngenza kanjalo, ngizozizwa ngithukuthele kakhulu, ngidabukile, futhi ngingenakuzisiza kangangokuthi ngingahlushwa noma ngikhukhulwe yimizwa yami.

Kancane kancane, ngifundile ukuthi KULUNGILE ukuzizwa ngijule lapho sengikulungele, nokuthi imizwa ekugcineni iyancipha.

Ngakha isikhala sokuzwa imizwa yami ngokukhuluma ngokuthembeka nabantu engibathandayo, ukubhala izindaba, ukucubungula ekwelashweni, ukulalela izingoma ezivusa imizwa ejulile, nokuxhumana nabanye abantu emphakathini wokugula okungapheli abaqonda izinselelo ezihlukile zokuphila nempilo isimo.

Ngaso sonke isikhathi lapho ngivumela leyo mizwa ihambe kimi, ngiye ngizizwe ngiqabulekile futhi ngineqiniso ngokwami. Manje, ngithanda ukucabanga ukukhala “njengokwelashwa kwe-spa komphefumulo.”

Ungesaba ukuthi ukuzivumela uzizwe unemizwa eyinselele ngesikhathi esivele sinzima kusho ukuthi awusoze waphuma kulolo buhlungu obujulile, ukudabuka, noma ukwesaba.

Khumbula nje ukuthi awukho umuzwa ohlala kuze kube phakade.

Eqinisweni, ukuvumela le mizwa ukuthi ikuthinte ngokujulile kungaguqula.

Ngokuletha ukuqonda kwakho kothando emizweni evelayo futhi uyenze ibe yilokho ayikho ngaphandle kokuzama ukuyiguqula, ushintshelwa kokungcono. Ungaqina, futhi uqiniseke ngokwengeziwe wena​.

Kunokuthile okunamandla ngokuzivumela uthintwe yizinto eziphakeme neziphansi zokuphila. Kuyingxenye yalokho okukwenza ube ngumuntu.

Futhi njengoba ucubungula le mizwa enzima, kungenzeka kuvele okuthile okusha. Ungazizwa unamandla ngokwengeziwe futhi ukwazi ukumelana namandla kunakuqala.

5. Thatha ikhefu kuwo wonke lowo muzwa

Ngendlela engithanda ngayo ukuzwa imizwa yami, ngiphinde ngabona ukuthi okunye okungisiza ukuthi ngizizwe ngilungile "ngokujula" ukuthi ngihlala nginenketho yokusuka.

Kuyaqabukela ngichitha usuku lonke ngikhala, ngithukuthele, noma ngiveza ukwesaba (yize lokho kuzolunga, futhi). Esikhundleni salokho, ngingabeka eceleni ihora noma imizuzu nje embalwa ukuze ngizwe… bese ngidlulela emsebenzini olula ukusiza ukulinganisa wonke umfutho.

Kimina, lokhu kubukeka njengokubuka imibukiso ehlekisayo, ukuhambahamba, ukupheka, ukupenda, ukudlala umdlalo, noma ukuxoxa nomngani ngento engahlobene ngokuphelele ne-MS yami.

Ukucubungula imizwa emikhulu nezinselelo ezinkulu kuthatha isikhathi. Ngikholwa ukuthi kungathatha impilo yonke ukucubungula ukuthi kunjani ukuhlala emzimbeni one-multiple sclerosis, ikusasa elingaqinisekile, kanye nochungechunge lwezimpawu ezingase zivele ziwe nganoma yisiphi isikhathi. Angijahile.

6. Yakha incazelo ezinseleleni

Nginqume ukukhetha eyami indaba ezwakalayo ngendima engifuna ukuthi i-multiple sclerosis iyidlale empilweni yami. I-MS isimemo sokuqinisa ubuhlobo bami nami.

Ngisamukele leso simemo, futhi ngenxa yalokho, ukuphila kwami ​​sekucebile futhi kwaba nenjongo kunanini ngaphambili.

Imvamisa nginika i-MS udumo, kepha empeleni yimi owenze lo msebenzi wokuguqula.

Njengoba ufunda ukuqonda izinselelo zakho, ungathola amandla wamakhono akho okwenza umqondo. Mhlawumbe uzokubheka lokhu njengethuba lokubona ukuthi lusekhona uthando ngisho nangezikhathi ezinzima kakhulu.

Ungathola ukuthi le nselelo ilapha ukukukhombisa ukuthi uqine kangakanani futhi unamandla kangakanani, noma ukuthambisa inhliziyo yakho kubuhle bomhlaba.

Umqondo wukuzama futhi usebenzise noma yini ekupholisayo noma ekukhuthazayo njengamanje.

7. Hleka indlela yakho ngokusebenzisa izinto ezinzima

Kunezikhathi lapho ubunzima bokugula kwami ​​bungishaya khona impela, njengalapho ngidinga ukuthatha ikhefu emcimbini wokuzijabulisa ukuze ngikwazi ukulala ngokungapheli kwelinye igumbi, lapho ngibhekene nokukhetha phakathi kwemiphumela emibi yomuthi owodwa ngaphezulu kwesinye, noma lapho ngihleli nokukhathazeka ngaphambi nje kwenqubo yokwelashwa esabekayo.

Imvamisa ngithola ukuthi kufanele ngihleke ukuthi ukukhohlisa, ukungahambi kahle, noma ukuthobisa ingqondo ngalezi zikhathi kungazizwa kanjani.

Ukuhleka kukhulula ukumelana kwami ​​okwamanje futhi kungivumela ukuba ngikwazi ukuxhumana nami kanye nabantu abangizungezile ngendlela yokudala.

Noma ngabe kugigitheka ubuphukuphuku besikhathi noma kuqhekeka ihlaya ukuze nginciphise imizwa yami, ngithole ukuhleka kuyindlela enothando kunazo zonke yokuzivumela ngiyeke uhlelo lwami lomuntu bese ngikhombisa okwenzekayo kulo mzuzu.

Ukungena kumahlaya akho kusho ukuxhumana nomunye wamandla akho amakhulu wokudala ngesikhathi lapho ungahle uzizwe ungenamandla. Futhi ekuhambeni kulokhu okuhlangenwe nakho okunzima okuhlekisayo nomuzwa wokuhlekisa ephaketheni lakho langemuva, ungathola amandla ajulile kakhulu kunohlobo ozwayo lapho konke kuhamba ngokohlelo.

8. Yiba umngane wakho omkhulu

Akunandaba ukuthi bangaki abangane abakhathalelayo kanye namalungu omndeni angijoyine ohambweni lwami nge-MS, yimina ngedwa ohlala emzimbeni wami, ocabanga imicabango yami, futhi ezwa imizwa yami. Ukuqwashisa kwami ​​ngaleliqiniso kuye kwangethusa futhi kwaba nesizungu kwesinye isikhathi.

Ngithole nokuthi ngizizwa nginesizungu kakhulu lapho ngicabanga ukuthi ngihlale ngihambisana nalokho engikubiza ngokuthi "ukuhlakanipha kwami." Le yingxenye yami engabona sonke isimo njengoba sinjalo - kufaka phakathi ukufakaza imizwa yami nemisebenzi yami yansuku zonke - kusuka endaweni yothando olungenamibandela.

Ngenze umqondo wobudlelwano bami nami ngokububiza ngokuthi "ubungani obuhle kakhulu." Lo mbono ungisizile ngaphuma ekuzizweni ngingedwa ezikhathini ezinzima kakhulu.

Ngezikhathi ezinzima, ukuhlakanipha kwami ​​kwangaphakathi kungikhumbuza ukuthi angikho kulo ngedwa, ukuthi ulapha ngenxa yami futhi uyangithanda, nokuthi uzimisele ngami.

Nawu ukuzivocavoca kokuxhuma nobuntu bakho obuhlakaniphile:

1. Songa iphepha libe uhhafu ngokuqondile.
2. Sebenzisa isandla sakho esingabusi kakhulu ukubhala phansi okunye kokwesaba kwakho ohlangothini olufanayo lwephepha.
3. Sebenzisa isandla sakho esilawulayo ukubhala izimpendulo zothando kulokho kwesaba.
4. Qhubeka emuva naphambili sengathi lezi zingxenye zakho ezimbili ziyaxoxa.

Lokhu kuvivinya umzimba kusiza ukudala ubumbano lwangaphakathi phakathi kwezici ezimbili ezihlukile zobuntu bakho obunezici eziningi, futhi kukusiza ukuthi uthole izinzuzo zezimfanelo zakho zothando kakhulu.

Kwangathi ungathola ukuxhumana okujulile nawe

Uma ufunda lokhu ngoba ubhekene nesikhathi esinzima njengamanje, ngicela wazi ukuthi ngiyakudonsa. Ngibona amandla akho amakhulu.

Akekho umuntu ongakunika umugqa wesikhathi noma akutshele kahle ukuthi kufanele uphile kanjani kule ngxenye yempilo yakho, kepha ngiyethemba ukuthi uzothola ukuxhumana okujulile nawe kule nqubo.

U-Lauren Selfridge ungumelaphi onelayisense womshado nomndeni eCalifornia, osebenza ku-inthanethi nabantu abaphila nokugula okungamahlalakhona kanye nemibhangqwana. Uphethe i-podcast yenhlolokhono, “Lokhu Akukhona Engikuyalile, ”Kugxile ekuphileni okugcwele okuhambisana nokugula okungamahlalakhona nezinselele zempilo. U-Lauren uphile ngokubuyela emuva kokukhipha i-multiple sclerosis iminyaka engaphezu kwengu-5 futhi uhlangane nesabelo sakhe sezikhathi ezijabulisayo nezinselele endleleni. Ungafunda kabanzi ngomsebenzi kaLauren lapha, noma mlandele futhi naye i-podcast ku-Instagram.