Ama-Stereotypes mayelana nokukhathazeka - nokuthi kungani engasebenzi kuwo wonke umuntu
-Delile
- 1. Kubangelwa ukuhlukumezeka
- 2. Ukuthula nokuthula kuyadamba
- 3. Izimbangela zikhona yonke indawo
- 4. Izinto ezifanayo ziyohlale zikukhungathekisa
- 5. Ukwelashwa nomuthi kuzokuphatha
- 6. Izethulo kuphela ezinazo
- 7. Kukwenza ube buthakathaka
Ayikho incazelo yobukhulu besayizi eyodwa yokukhathazeka.
Uma kukhulunywa ngokukhathazeka, ayikho incazelo yobukhulu obulingana nayo bonke yokuthi ibukeka kanjani noma izwakala kanjani. Kodwa-ke, njengoba abantu bevamise ukwenza, umphakathi uzokubeka igama, unqume ngokungekho emthethweni ukuthi kusho ukuthini ukuba nokukhathazeka nokubeka isipiliyoni ebhokisini elihlelekile.
Yebo, uma ubhekane nokukhathazeka, njengoba ngenzile, uyazi ukuthi akukho lutho oluhle noma olubikezelayo ngakho. Uhambo lwakho nalo luzoqhubeka lubukeka luhlukile futhi lungahluka impela uma luqhathaniswa nolomunye umuntu.
Lapho okuhlangenwe nakho okwehlukene sonke esinakho ngokukhathazeka kuvunywa, ikhono lokuthi ngamunye wethu akwazi ukubhekana ngendlela elusizo kakhulu kithi litholakalela lokho.
Ngakho-ke, sikwenza kanjani lokho? Ngokukhomba izinkolelo-ze zokukhathazeka ezingasebenzi kuwo wonke umuntu nokuchaza ukuthi kungani lokhu kwehlukaniswa kubalulekile. Ake sifike kukho.
1. Kubangelwa ukuhlukumezeka
Yize ukukhathazeka kungaqhamuka esehlakalweni sokuphila esibuhlungu kubantu abaningi, lokhu akuhlali kunjalo. Into enkulu, embi kwakungafanele yenzeke ukuze umuntu alwe nokukhathazeka.
"Ukukhathazeka kwakho kungadalwa ukuba nokuningi kakhulu okumele ukwenze, ukushintsha izindlela ozijwayele, noma nokubuka izindaba," kusho uGrace Suh, ongumeluleki wezempilo yengqondo onelayisense, etshela abeHealthline.
“Izizathu zalokho kungenzeka ukuthi azizona izehlakalo zakho ezedlule ezishaqisayo. Yinto ongayithola wena nochwepheshe wezempilo yengqondo ndawonye ngesikhathi senqubo yokwelashwa ukukhomba ukuthi kungani unalesi sifo. ”
Ngokwami, ukusebenza nomelaphi kungivumele ukuthi ngimba ngijule futhi ngithole izindaba zakudala nezamanje ezazishisa ukukhathazeka kwami. Kwesinye isikhathi, imbangela ijule emlandweni wakho, nakwezinye izikhathi, kungumphumela wamanje. Ukuthola izimbangela kungadala ibanga elide ekuphatheni kangcono ukukhathazeka kwakho.
2. Ukuthula nokuthula kuyadamba
Ngenkathi ukuphuma kukho konke kuhlale kungukuhleleka okuhle, ngithola ukuthi ukukhathazeka kwami kuvame ukuphakama lapho ngisendaweni ethule, ehamba kancane. Kulezo zindawo, ngivame ukuba nesikhathi esithe xaxa ngedwa nemicabango yami ngenkathi ngizizwa ngicishe ngakhiqiza, angikwazi ukufeza okuningi endaweni ezungeze kancane. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ngivame ukuzizwa ngihlukanisiwe noma ngivaleleke ezindaweni ezinokuthula, ngibambezeleka.
Kodwa-ke, emadolobheni, ijubane lapho izinto zihamba khona lizwakala lihambelana nokuthi imicabango yami ivame ukushesha kangakanani.
Lokhu kunginikeza umuzwa wokuthi ijubane lami lihambisana nezwe elingizungezile, linikeze umuzwa omkhulu wokukhululeka. Ngenxa yalokhu, ukukhathazeka kwami kuvame kakhulu ngenkathi ngisemadolobheni kunangesikhathi ngivakashela amadolobha amancane noma emaphandleni.
3. Izimbangela zikhona yonke indawo
“Okuhlangenwe nakho kwakho kwamanje nokwedlule kuhlukile, imibono yakho ihlukile, yingakho ukukhathazeka kwakho kuhlukile. Kunemibono eyiphutha yokuthi ukukhathazeka kuvela ezintweni ezivamile, ulwazi oluthile, noma ukwesaba, njengokwesaba ukuhamba ngendiza noma ukwesaba ukuphakama, ”kusho uSuh. "Ukulandisa kokukhathazeka akukwazi ukwenziwa jikelele, ngoba izinto ezibangela ukwehluka zihlukile komunye umuntu."
Ama-Trigger angaba yinoma yini kusuka engomeni kuya kothile okhansela izinhlelo nawe ohlangothini lwendaba kumdlalo we-TV. Ukuthi kukhona okukubangela wena uqobo, lokho akusho ukuthi kuzoba nomphumela ofanayo ekukhathazekeni komunye umuntu futhi ngokufanayo.
4. Izinto ezifanayo ziyohlale zikukhungathekisa
Njengoba ubhekana nokukhathazeka kwakho futhi uthola ukuthi izimbangela ezithile zikuthinta kanjani, ungaqaphela ukuthi izimbangela zakho ziyashintsha.
Isibonelo, ngangijwayele ukukhathazeka ngokweqile noma kunini lapho ngingedwa ekheshini. Ngizwe ngokushesha ngivalelekile futhi ngakholiseka ukuthi ikheshi lizoma. Kwathi ngolunye usuku, ngabona ukuthi ngangingena emakhethini isikhashana ngaphandle kwalesi simo esishubile. Kodwa-ke, njengoba sengingene ezigabeni ezintsha zempilo yami futhi ngaba nokuhlangenwe nakho okwengeziwe, izinto ezithile ebezijwayele ukungangikhathazi, manje sezenza.
Lokhu kuvame ukwenziwa ngokuvezwa. Le yingxenye enkulu ye-ERP, noma ukuvezwa nokuvikelwa kokuphendula. Umqondo ngukuthi, ngenkathi ukuvezwa yizimbangela kungakhathaza ukukhathazeka esikhathini esifushane, ingqondo yakho kancane kancane iqala ukuvumelana nalokho okukucindezelayo.
Ngaqhubeka ngangena kumakheshi kwaze kwaba ngolunye usuku inhlamvu ingasekho. Leyo alamu ebizohlala izwakala ekhanda lami ekugcineni yaqonda ukuthi ingathula njengoba empeleni ngangingekho engozini.
Ubudlelwano bami nokukhathazeka buhlala buguquka njengoba ngiqhubeka nokuqhekeka ngiluka phakathi nentuthuko yako. Yize lokhu kungakhungathekisa, lapho ngithola ukuhlangabezana nezinto ngaphandle kwesibhobo lapho bekukhona, kungumuzwa omangalisa ngempela.
5. Ukwelashwa nomuthi kuzokuphatha
Ngenkathi ukwelashwa nomuthi kuyizinketho ezinhle kakhulu ongazilandela lapho welapha ukukhathazeka, akusikho ukulungiswa okuqinisekisiwe. Kwabanye abantu, ukwelashwa kuzosiza, abanye kube yimithi, abanye abantu bobabili, nakwabanye, ngokudabukisayo, ngeke kusize.
“Azikho izindlela zokwelapha ezisheshayo noma zokwelashwa okulingana nosizo olulodwa ekwelapheni ukukhathazeka. Kuyinqubo yokukhuthazela nokubekezela okudinga ukuqonda nokunakekelwa okufanele ukubhekana ngendlela efanele nokuhlangenwe nakho kwakho okuhlukile kanye nemibono yakho, ”kusho uSuh.
Ukhiye ukunquma ukuthi yini okusebenzela kangcono kakhulu. Ngokwami, ukuthatha umuthi kungivumela ukuthi ngilawule ukukhathazeka kwami, ngezikhathi ezithile ukuqhuma kusenzeka. Ukuya ekwelashweni kuyasiza futhi, kepha akuyona inketho ngaso sonke isikhathi ngenxa yomshuwalense nokufuduswa. Ukuzinika isikhathi sokuhlola inketho ngayinye, kanye namasu okubhekana nakho kuvumela ukuhlangana okungcono nokukhathazeka.
Izinto ezingasiza ukukhathazeka ngaphandle kokwelapha nemithi:
- Vocavoca umzimba njalo.
- Prakthiza ukuphefumula okujulile.
- Bhala phansi imicabango yakho.
- Shintsha indlela odla ngayo.
- Phinda imantra.
- Zibandakanye ekunwebeni.
- Sebenzisa amasu wokubeka phansi.
6. Izethulo kuphela ezinazo
Esikoleni samabanga aphakeme, ngathola isikhulu esiphakeme kunazo zonke esikhuluma kakhulu ekilasini lami eliphakeme - futhi nganginokukhathazeka okubi, okungatholakali isikhathi sonke lapho ngisesikoleni.
Iphuzu lami ukuthi, alukho uhlobo olulodwa lomuntu olunokukhathazeka. Kuyisimo sezokwelapha, futhi abantu babo bonke ubuntu nezizinda babhekana naso. Yebo, ingabonisa njengomuntu ohlala ethotshisiwe futhi ethule, kepha-ke kunabantu abanjengami abavame ukufaka umsindo emhlabeni, cishe kube sengathi kungenzeka ukudala umsindo owuminzayo.
Ngakho-ke, ngesikhathi esilandelayo lapho umuntu ezama ukukhuluma nawe mayelana nokukhathazeka, ungaphenduli ngokuthi, "Kodwa unomoya omuhle kakhulu!" noma, "Ngempela, wena?" Esikhundleni salokho ubabuze ukuthi yini abayidingayo, noma ngabe kuyindlebe nje yokulalela.
7. Kukwenza ube buthakathaka
Ngenkathi kunezinsuku lapho ukukhathazeka kungazwakala sengathi kukudiliza - ngiyazi ukuthi ngibe nengxenye yami kuzo - akusona isimo esibuthaka.
Empeleni, kungenxa yokukhathazeka kwami ukuthi ngiye ngalandela izinto eziningi ebengizifuna, ngithatha izinyathelo ezengeziwe, futhi ngazilungiselela izimo ezingenakubalwa.
Ngaphezu kwalokho, kunalo mqondo wokuthi ukuba nokukhathazeka kwasekuqaleni kusho ukuthi umuntu ubuthakathaka. Eqinisweni, ukukhathazeka kuyisimo sengqondo abanye abantu ababhekana naso kanti abanye ababhekene naso, ngokufana nenye inkinga yomzimba.
Akukho lutho olubuthakathaka ngokwamukela ukuthi kuyinto onayo futhi, uma ikhona, kukhombisa amandla amakhulu kakhulu.
Ukubhekana nokukhathazeka kuphoqa umuntu ukuthi azihambele ngokwabo futhi aqhubeke nokunqoba izilingo zangaphakathi. Ukwenza lokho kudinga ukuthola amandla ajulile futhi anamandla angaphakathi ukuze uphendukele kaninginingi, kude nobuthakathaka njengoba uthola.
USara Fielding ngumbhali waseNew York City. Ukubhala kwakhe kuvele kuBustle, Insider, Men's Health, HuffPost, Nylon, nase-OZY lapho ehlanganisa khona ubulungiswa bezenhlalo, impilo yezengqondo, ezempilo, ezokuhamba, ubudlelwano, ezokungcebeleka, ezemfashini kanye nokudla.