Iziqinisekiso Ezingcono Kakhulu Ongazama Khona Manje

-Delile

• Kuyini Ukuqinisekiswa?
• Izinzuzo Zokuqinisekiswa
• Indlela Yokukhetha Isiqinisekiso
• Ungawakha Kanjani Umkhuba Wokuqinisekisa
• Iziqinisekiso Ezihamba Phambili Zokuzama
• "Kuzoba usuku oluhle."
• "Okungokwami ​​kuzomane kungithole."
• "Nginamandla; ngiyakwazi."
• "Unesibindi. Uyakhazimula, futhi umuhle."
• "Ufanelwe sonke isikhala emhlabeni ukuze uphefumule, unwebe, futhi unginikeze ukuphila. Ngiyakuthanda."
• "Ngisemusha futhi angiphelelwa yisikhathi."
• "Impilo yami igcwele abantu abanothando nabajabulayo, futhi nendawo engisebenza kuyo igcwele ukuzijabulisa."
• "Ngikwenzile lokhu ngaphambilini."
• "Sengikwenzile kwanele."
• "Ngiyabonga nginakho konke engikudingayo."
• "Uyisenzakalo esikhethekile."
• "Kuyilungelo lami lokuzalwa ukujabula."
• Buyekeza kwe-

Kulezi zinsuku, mhlawumbe ubona abantu abaningi ngokwengeziwe behlanganyela ekuqinisekisweni kwabo kokuya ezinkundleni zokuxhumana. Wonke umuntu - kusukela ku-TikTok oyikhonzile ilandela uLizzo no-Ashley Graham - imayelana nokusebenzisa lawa mazwi anamandla, amafushane njengengxenye yendlela yokuzinakekela. Kodwa ingabe uchungechunge lwamagama lungaba yini umguquli womdlalo? Uma uzwa ukuthi kungani ngisho nodokotela bethanda iziqinisekiso, uzobhekisisa okulandelayo ohlangana nakho ku-IG, futhi mhlawumbe ufune nokuqala ukuzisebenzisa empilweni yakho, futhi.

Kuyini Ukuqinisekiswa?

Izinto zokuqala kuqala, siyini ngempela isiqinisekiso? Empeleni, konke kumayelana nokukhuluma okuthile endaweni yonke bese usebenzisa lawo mandla. "Ukuqinisekiswa yisisho, imantra, noma isitatimende esishiwo ngomlomo - ngaphakathi noma ngaphandle," kuchaza uCarly Claney, Ph.D., isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo sase Seattle. Imvamisa, isitatimende esihle esihloselwe ukukhuthaza, ukukhulisa, nokunika amandla umuntu osho noma ocabangayo, uyachaza.

Ukuqinisekiswa kungasiza futhi "ukuphikisa" imicabango engemihle engadlula ekhanda lakho, kunezela uNavya Mysore, MD, udokotela womndeni kanye nomqondisi wezokwelapha e-One Medical eNew York City. "Ngokuphinda lezi zitatimende ngemvamisa eyanele, ungabhala ngaphezulu izinkulumo ezingemuva zobuchopho bakho, wandise ukuzethemba kwakho namandla okwenza izinguquko ezinhle empilweni yakho." (Okuhlobene: Zama Lezi Ziqinisekiso Zokulala Ukuze Uthole Iso Elivaliwe Kakhulu)

Futhi yize lokho kungazwakala njenge-woo-woo encane, iziqiniseko empeleni zisekelwa yisayensi.

Izinzuzo Zokuqinisekiswa

Ukuphinda noma yimuphi umusho omdala akulona iphuzu. Ukuze uthole imivuzo engaba khona, ucwaningo luphakamisa ukuthi udinga ukuthola isiqinisekiso esithile (noma ezimbili) esikhuluma nawe kanye nemigomo yakho ehlukile noma imibono, ngokusho kochwepheshe. Eqinisweni, ucwaningo lwango-2016 lwathola ukuthi izitatimende zokuziqinisekisa ("nginguye") zihlobene namakhono okubhekana nokubekezela okuhle; bangakwazi "[kusebenze] izingxenye zobuchopho ezihlobene nomvuzo nokuqinisa okuhle," kusho u-Claney, owengeza ngokuthi iziqinisekiso zingaba "nomphumela wesikhathi esifushane (ngokulawula isimiso sezinzwa esinozwela)" - cabanga: ukukuthulisa ngesikhathi isiqephu sokucindezeleka okukhulu - futhi "kungaba nemiphumela yesikhathi eside ngokuzijwayeza okuvamile."

Leyo miphumela yesikhathi eside ingasiza "ukushintsha umbono wakho nokuziphatha kwakho ukufeza izinhloso zakho," kuphawula uDkt. Mysore. "Ngandlela-thile, lokhu kufana nokuzivocavoca - uma uvivinya umzimba njalo, uqala ukubona izinzuzo ngomzimba wakho nengqondo, njengokukhuphuka kwamandla nokukhuthazela. Ngokufanayo, uma uqhubeka nokusebenzisa ukuqinisekiswa okuhle njalo, uqala ukubakholelwa nezenzo zakho zizoba yisibonelo salokhu, okuzokwenza kube lula ukufeza izinhloso zakho. "

Ukuqinisekiswa kungasiza futhi ekukhuliseni imizwa yakho yonke, nayo engasiza ekucindezelekeni, ekukhathazekeni, nasekucindezelekeni, engeza uDkt. Mysore. (Okuhlobene: Amasu we-3 Ochwepheshe Wokumisa Ukucindezeleka Ngaphambi Kokuphuma Ekulawuleni)

Indlela Yokukhetha Isiqinisekiso

Konke kuyinto enhle kakhulu. Kepha uma unenkinga yokukhetha isiqinisekiso esizwakala silungile, noma uthola nje umqondo wokuzikhulumela okungajwayelekile, izinzuzo zilapha ukuzosiza.

UDkt. Mysore uncoma ukuqala ngendawo eyodwa okugxilwa kuyo. "Ngingasikisela ukuthi uthathe isikhathi ucabange ngengxenye yempilo yakho ongathanda ukuyithuthukisa," esho. "Kuzoqala ngokuthile okuncane okufana nomhlangano womsebenzi oqhamukayo onovalo ngawo. Ukuvuma kwakho kungenzeka ukuthi kuzikhumbuza ukuthi uwazi kahle umsebenzi wakho nokuthi uyayethemba indima yakho."

Isinyathelo esilandelayo? Ukuphindaphinda lesi sitatimende kuwe ngenkathi ulungiselela umhlangano, njengoba ukwenza kanjalo kungasiza ukwehlisa ingcindezi futhi kukhulise ukuzethemba emhlanganweni wangempela. "Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, ungadlulisa ukuqinisekiswa okuhle ezingxenyeni ezinkulu zempilo yakho nezinselelo ezinkulu obhekene nazo," kusho uDkt Mysore.

U-Claney unanela leyo mizwa, wengeza ngokuthi, "Ngincoma ukuthi ukhethe into elula ethinta wena manje noma into ofisa ukuyikholelwa ngawe maduzane. Ungacabanga ngomuntu omthandayo noma onomhawu futhi ubuze, 'bacabangani. Yiziphi izici engizifela kakhulu engifuna ukuzilingisa? ' Futhi ukuhumushele ekuqinisekiseni ngawe." (Okuhlobene: Ungayisebenzisa Kanjani 'Ukucabanga Kokuklama' ukuze Ufeze Izinjongo Zakho)

Khumbula: "Asikho isidingo sokuqamba ngokweqile noma uzizwe sengathi udinga ukuba ngowokuqala ngendlela emangalisayo ngenkathi usaqala," kunezela uClaney.

Uma ungakakulungeli ukuqala ukukhuluma nesibuko sakho, awuwedwa. Eqinisweni, uDkt. Mysore uthi uzizwa ngendlela efanayo. "Ngikuthola kunzima ukusho ngomlomo iziqinisekiso kimi," esho ehlanganyela. "Kodwa thanda ucabange ngayo bese uyibhala." Futhi yilokho kanye uClaney atusa ukuthi abantu bakwenze uma nabo bekuthola kungakhululekile ukuphinda isiqinisekiso sabo ngokuzwakalayo.

“Ekuqaleni, njengokuqala noma imuphi umkhuba, kungase kuzizwe kunzima,” kunezela uDkt. Mysore. "Kodwa ukuhambisana nokungaguquguquki kuzosiza ukuqinisekiswa ukuzizwa kungokwesibili ngemuva kwesikhathi esithile."

Ungawakha Kanjani Umkhuba Wokuqinisekisa

Zombili izinzuzo ziyavuma ukuthi asikho isikhathi esingalungile sokufaka le misho enamandla osukwini lwakho - ngemuva kwakho konke, umzuzu wokukhumbula ungenzeka kakhulu noma kuphi, nganoma yisiphi isikhathi. Kodwa wena yenza kufanele ube nenhloso yokwenza kube yingxenye yendlela yakho yansuku zonke. Futhi yingakho nje uDkt Mysore esikisela ukuthi "uyihlele."

"Ukucabanga ngakho bese ngithi kuwumqondo omuhle ngokuvamile akwanele. Kudingeka ukuthi kuhlelwe ngamabomu. Uzokusebenzisa nini lokhu? Kuvimbe ekhalendeni lakho noma ugcine umkhondo wokuzigcina uziphendulela," usho njalo. .

Futhi umbono omuhle? Ukuguqula umkhuba ngamunye ube umkhuba weqembu. "Joyina nabangane abambalwa nabo abazama ukufaka iziqinisekiso empilweni yabo ukuze nikwazi ukuphendula omunye nomunye ekuqaleni futhi kungazizwa njengomzamo ohlangene," kusho uDkt. Mysore. (Okuhlobene: 10 Amajenali Amnandi Oyofuna Ukuwabhala)

"Uma umkhuba wokuqinisekisa kunzima ukuziqalisa wena, thola uhlelo lokusebenza lokuzindla noma uthisha we-yoga ohlanganisa iziqinisekiso emisebenzini yabo," kwengeza u-Claney. "Ukuba nomunye umuntu akwenzele isikhala ukuze usebenzise iziqinisekiso kuyindlela enhle yokusiza ukuzitholela wena."

Ukucabanga ukuthi uzizwa kanjani emuva kubaluleke ngokufanayo. "Thatha isikhashana ngemuva kokuqinisekisa ukuze uzwe isikhala esikuzungezile," uyaphakamisa. "Uzizwa uthini ngokusho amagama - ungawangenisa? Uyayibona inhloso yakho ekuyikholelweni ngisho noma ingasabeli ngokuphelele? Ungakwazi yini ukuhlonipha ukubaluleka kokuphishekela into ezwa sengathi ingafinyeleleki? ukwenza isiqinisekiso kuzoba nenjongo kuwe uzokugcizelela njengento ebalulekile kunokuba nje okunye okulindelekile noma umthwalo wokuzibophezela kuwena." (Okuhlobene: Ungakusebenzisa Kanjani Ukubona Ukufeza Zonke Izinjongo Zakho Kulo nyaka)

Iziqinisekiso Ezihamba Phambili Zokuzama

Usulungele ukuqalisa? Nazi izibonelo ezinhle zokuqinisekiswa ezingakhuluma nawe noma zikukhuthaze ukuthi uzakhele ibinzana elihle.

"Kuzoba usuku oluhle."

UDkt Mysore uthanda ukusho lokhu lapho esebenza ekuseni. "Ngifunda ukuzama ukuba nesimo sengqondo esihle ngaso sonke isikhathi empilweni yami," uhlanganyela.

"Okungokwami ​​kuzomane kungithole."

Umqeqeshi wokuzethemba u-Ellie Lee wabelane ngalesi sibonelo sokuvuma kuTikTok, wengeza ngokuthi, "Angijahi; ngiyaheha," okusebenza njengesikhumbuzo sokuthi lokho obekufanele kube ngokwakho kuzoziveza kuwe - lokho-ke, uma uvumela it.

"Nginamandla; ngiyakwazi."

Uma kukhulunywa ngokuvuma iziqinisekiso empilweni yakhe, uClaney ukhetha okuthile okulula, futhi lesi sitatimende esithi "nginguye" simkhumbuza ngawo wonke amandla angaphakathi asevele enawo ngaphakathi.

"Unesibindi. Uyakhazimula, futhi umuhle."

Noma ngabe umlandela ku-Instagram noma ufunda nje ngezimpi zakhe zakamuva zokuzinakekela, akunjalo ukuthi uyazi kahle ukuthi u-Ashley Graham wazi into noma ezimbili ngokuzinakekela nothando. Lesi sihlabani sabelana ngesiqinisekiso esingenhla sokuzithanda ngo-2017, siveza ukuthi sithembele kuso uma sizizwa sidangele ngomzimba waso. (Okuhlobene: I-Mantra Ashley Graham Enika Amandla Isebenzisa Ukuzizwa Njenge-Badass)

"Ufanelwe sonke isikhala emhlabeni ukuze uphefumule, unwebe, futhi unginikeze ukuphila. Ngiyakuthanda."

ULizzo futhi ungumthandi wokusebenzisa iziqinisekiso zokuzithanda ukusiza ukwenza ngcono ubuhlobo bakhe nomzimba wakhe. Lo mculi owine indondo ukhuluma nesisu sakhe esibukweni, emasaja futhi eshaya ukuqabula phakathi kwakhe, okuyinto abekade eyizonda kakhulu "ubefuna ukuyinqamula." Esikhundleni salokho, uthi, "Ngiyakuthanda kakhulu. Ngiyabonga kakhulu ngokungigcina ngijabule, ngokungigcina ngiphila. Ngiyabonga. Ngizoqhubeka nokukulalela."

"Ngisemusha futhi angiphelelwa yisikhathi."

Akekho omunye ngaphandle kukaJoLo uqobo othembele kulesi sitatimende esinamandla ukuzikhumbuza ukuthi amandla akhe akhula kuphela uma esekulo Mhlaba. Ngo-2018, utshele I-Harper's Bazaar, "Ngizitshela ukuthi nsuku zonke, izikhathi ezimbalwa ngosuku. Kuzwakala njenge-clichéd bullshit, kodwa akunjalo: Iminyaka isengqondweni yakho. Bheka kuJane Fonda." (BTW, lesi sibonelo sokuqinisekisa akuyona ukuphela kwendlela u-Lopez enza ngayo ukuzinakekela.)

"Impilo yami igcwele abantu abanothando nabajabulayo, futhi nendawo engisebenza kuyo igcwele ukuzijabulisa."

Kwesinye isikhathi, udinga isikhumbuzi esincane mayelana namandla akuzungezile kanye nobuhle abaletha ezinsukwini zakho, njengoba kufakazelwa esinye seziqinisekiso eziyintandokazi zika-Lopez.

"Ngikwenzile lokhu ngaphambilini."

Enye intandokazi kaClaney, lena ingasiza ekudambiseni ukukhathazeka njengoba ubhekana nezimo ozaziyo ukuthi zikulethela ingcindezi, njengesabelo esikhulu somsebenzi noma ukubhekana nosebenza naye noma ilungu lomndeni ongazwani nalo. (Ufuna ezinye izibonelo zokuqinisekisa ukukhathazeka kuphela? Lo mhlahlandlela ukuhlanganisile.)

"Sengikwenzile kwanele."

Ukukhanyisa okuthile okwenzekile ngosuku olwedlule noma ngisho nonyaka owedlule? Ukuzikhumbuza ukuthi wenze konke obungakwenza kuyindlela enhle yokugxila okwamanje kanye nalokho okuzayo, kuphawula uClaney.

"Ngiyabonga nginakho konke engikudingayo."

Into yokuqala yokwazi ukuzethemba uLee ayenzayo lapho evuka ekuseni? Uzwakalisa isilinganiso esikhulu sokubonga ngazo zonke izinto asenazo kakade ekuphileni kwakhe.

"Uyisenzakalo esikhethekile."

Isikhulu sobuhle u-Alana Black simayelana nokugqoka izingubo zakho ozithandayo noma ngabe kunjani, noma ngabe ubalekela ku-Target noma esitolo sezidakamizwa. "Yeka ukulinda isikhathi esikahle. Lesi isikhathi esikahle. Kwenze manje. Gqoka izingubo zakho zebhadi uhambe," usho njalo.

"Kuyilungelo lami lokuzalwa ukujabula."

Umdidiyeli wefilimu nomqeqeshi wokuzibonakalisa u-Vanessa McNeal uqala ekuseni "ngokuphakamisa amandla," ezitshela ukuthi, "Angifaneleki ngenxa yalokho engikwenzayo, kodwa ngenxa yalokho engiyikho."

Buyekeza kwe-