Abesifazane Abamnyama Abanamandla Bavunyelwe Ukuba Nengcindezi, Nabo

-Delile

• ‘Abantu abamnyama abacindezeleki’
• Ukudabuka okungapheli
• Ukwamukelwa ekwelulekeni
• Ukudla okudlela endlini

Ngingowesifazane oMnyama. Futhi kaningi, ngithola ukuthi kulindeleke ukuthi ngibe namandla angenamkhawulo nokuqina. Lokhu kulindela kungifaka ingcindezi enkulu yokuthi ngiphakamise i- “Strong Black Woman” (SBWM) Persona ovame ukuyibona ivezwa kusiko lwe-pop.

I-SBWM yinkolelo yokuthi abesifazane abaMnyama bangaphatha noma yini eza ngendlela yabo ngaphandle kokuba nomthelela ongokomzwelo kubo. I-SBWM ivimbela abesifazane abaMnyama ekuboniseni ukuba sengozini futhi isitshele ukuthi “sidlule kukho” futhi “sikwenze” kungakhathalekile ukukhandleka ngokwengqondo nangokomzimba.

Kuze kube muva nje, kuphephile ukusho ukuthi umphakathi awunakile kangako izidingo zempilo yengqondo yabantu base-Afrika baseMelika. Kepha yomibili imiphakathi yabantu abaMnyama kanye nemiphakathi engesiyo eyabaMnyama inikele kule nkinga.

Ucwaningo lwakamuva luphakamisa ukuthi leli qembu linamathuba angamaphesenti ayishumi okulwa nezinkinga ezibucayi zempilo yengqondo kunabamhlophe abangewona abaseSpanishi. Ngokuhambisana namandla aphezulu wezinkinga, abantu abamnyama baseMelika nabo babika amanye amazinga aphansi okwelashwa kwezempilo yengqondo. Izakhi zamasiko njengokucwaswa, izinto ezihlelekile ezifana nokungalingani kwemali engenayo, kanye nezinkolelo ezinjenge-SBWM konke kudlala indima emazingeni aphansi okwelashwa phakathi kwabamnyama baseMelika.

Abesifazane abamnyama babhekana nezinto eziningi ezihlukile zomphakathi ezingathinta impilo yengqondo. Njengowesifazane oMnyama obhekene nokukhathazeka nokudangala, ngivame ukuzizwa "ngibuthakathaka" ngenxa yobuthakathaka bami bomphefumulo. Kepha njengoba ngikhula ngokwengeziwe ekuqondeni kwami ​​impilo yengqondo, ngibonile ukuthi umzabalazo wami awuphikisi amandla ami.

Futhi, okubaluleke kakhulu, ukuthi akudingeki ngibe namandla ngaso sonke isikhathi. Ukuveza ukuba sengozini kudinga amandla. Ngiyakwamukela lokhu namuhla, kodwa kube uhambo olude ukufika lapha.

‘Abantu abamnyama abacindezeleki’

Ngangazi ukuthi ngihlukile ekuqaleni. Bengilokhu ngibe nobuciko futhi bengilokhu ngiphishekela ulwazi njalo. Ngeshwa, njengezinye izinto eziningi ezidaliwe kuwo wonke umlando, ngivame ukuzithola ngibhekene neziphonso ezicindezelayo. Kusukela ebuntwaneni, bengilokhu ngijwayele ukudabuka ngokweqile. Ngokungafani nezinye izingane, lolu sizi luvame ukwenzeka ngokuzumayo futhi lungavikeleki.

Ngaleso sikhathi, ngangingaqondi ukucindezeleka, kepha ngangazi ukuthi kuyinto engavamile ukushintsha ngokungazelelwe kusuka ekuzizweleni ngokweqile kuya ekude. Angizange ngilizwe igama elithi ukucindezeleka okokuqala ngaze ngaba mdala kakhulu.

Akuzange kuthathe isikhathi eside ukubona ukuthi bekungelona igama ebengilindeleke ukuthi ngilikhombe.

Ngemuva kokubona ukuthi ngingaba nokudangala, ngabhekana nomzabalazo omusha: ukwamukelwa. Wonke umuntu owayengizungezile wenza konke okusemandleni ukungivimba ekuzihlanganiseni nayo.

Futhi kwakuvame ukulandela iziqondiso zokufunda iBhayibheli. Ngizwile "INkosi ngeke isinikeze okuningi ukubhekana nakho esingakuthwala" izikhathi eziningi kunanoma ngubani ongathemba. Ngaphakathi komphakathi oMnyama, uma uzizwa kabi isikhathi eside, utshelwa ukuthi kuyinto okudingeka usebenze kanzima ukukhuleka kuwe. Ngakho-ke, ngathandaza.

Kodwa lapho izinto zingathuthuki, ngangibhekene nemizwa engemihle ngisho nangokwengeziwe. Umqondo abesifazane besifazane abaMnyama abangalwi nawo jikelele komuntu imizwa iqhubekisela phambili umqondo wokuthi asikwazi ukungena.

Futhi ukwenza sengathi sinamandla angaphezu kwawomuntu kuyasibulala, kusho uJosie Pickens esihlokweni sakhe esithi “Depression and the Black Superwoman Syndrome.” Ngilwela ukuhlangabezana nale nhloso, ngazitholela - futhi - ngichazwa inkolelo yokuthi yenzani futhi akusho ukuba Mnyama.

Ukudabuka okungapheli

Ukuxhashazwa esikoleni kwenza izinto zaba zimbi kakhulu. Ngabizwa njengomunye "ngisemncane". Izinkolelo ezifanayo ezazivimbela izingxoxo zezempilo yengqondo zangenza ngakhishwa inyumbazane.

Ngafunda ukubhekana nesimo ngokuhoxa emphakathini nokugwema izixuku ezinkulu. Kepha noma sekuphele iminyaka ukuhlukunyezwa kwaphela, ukukhathazeka kwahlala kwangilandela ngaya ekolishi.

Ukwamukelwa ekwelulekeni

Inyuvesi yami ibeke phambili impilo yezengqondo yabafundi bayo futhi yanikeza ngamunye wethu izikhathi eziyi-12 zokwelulekwa mahhala ngonyaka wesikole. Njengoba imali yayingasekho isithiyo, nganikezwa ithuba lokubona umeluleki ngaphandle kokukhathazeka.

Ngokokuqala ngqá, ngangisesimweni esingagcini ngezinkinga zempilo yengqondo eqenjini elithile. Futhi ngisebenzise lelo thuba ukukhuluma ngezinkinga zami. Ngemuva kwezikhathi ezimbalwa, angibange ngisazizwa “omunye” kanjalo. Ukwelulekwa kwengqondo kungifundise ukujwayela okuhlangenwe nakho kwami ​​ngokudangala nokukhathazeka.

Isinqumo sami sokuya ekwelulekeni ekolishi sangisiza ukuba ngiqonde ukuthi ubunzima bami bokukhathazeka nokudangala akuzange kungenze ngibe ngaphansi komunye umuntu. Ubumnyama bami abungikhululi ekukhathazekeni kwempilo yengqondo. Kubantu base-Afrika-baseMelika, ukuvezwa kokucwasana ngokohlelo nokubandlululwa kwandisa isidingo sethu sokwelashwa.

Akukho lutho olungalungile ngami ukuba ngumuntu ocindezelekile- futhi othambekele ekukhathazekeni. Manje, ngibona izingqinamba zami zempilo yengqondo njengenye into engenza ngihluke. Ngithola ugqozi olukhulu “ezinsukwini zami ezingezansi,” futhi “izinsuku zami eziphezulu” kulula ukuzazisa.

Ukudla okudlela endlini

Ukwamukela ubunzima bami akusho ukuthi akunzima ukubhekana nabo okwamanje. Lapho nginezinsuku ezimbi kakhulu, ngibeka phambili ukukhuluma nomuntu. Kubalulekile ukukhumbula izinto ezingezinhle ozizwayo nokuzizwa ngawe ngesikhathi seziphonso zokucindezeleka akulona iqiniso. Abantu base-Afrika baseMelika, ikakhulukazi, kufanele benze umzamo wokufuna usizo ngezinkinga zempilo yengqondo.

Ngenze ukukhetha ukuphatha izimpawu zami ngaphandle kwemithi, kodwa ngiyazi abanye abaningi abathathe isinqumo sokuthi imithi izobasiza kangcono ukuphatha izimpawu. Uma uzithola ubhekene nokudabuka okungapheli noma imizwa engemihle ekuthwalayo, khuluma nodokotela wezempilo yengqondo ukuthola inkambo elungele wena. Yazi ukuthi ukhona hhayi lo “omunye” nawe ukhona hhayi yedwa.

Ukuphazamiseka kwengqondo akubandlululi. Zithinta wonke umuntu. Kuthatha isibindi, kodwa ngokubambisana, singakwazi ukuqeda izinhlamba ezizungeze ukuphazamiseka kwempilo yengqondo zawo wonke amaqembu abantu.

Uma wena noma othile omaziyo ebhekene nezimpawu zokucindezeleka, ungathola usizo. Izinhlangano ezinjengeNational Alliance on Mental Illness zinikela ngamaqembu okusekela, imfundo, nezinye izinsiza ukusiza ukwelapha ukudangala nezinye izifo zengqondo. Ungashayela noma yiziphi izinhlangano ezilandelayo ngosizo olungaziwa, oluyimfihlo:

• I-National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (evulekile 24/7): 1-800-273-8255
• Inombolo yocingo yama-Samaritanans 24-Hour Crisis Hotline (vula 24/7, shayela noma uthumele umbhalo): 1-877-870-4673
• Inombolo yosizo ye-United Way Crisis (ingakusiza ukuthi uthole umelaphi, ukunakekelwa kwezempilo, noma izidingo eziyisisekelo): 2-1-1

URochaun Meadows-Fernandez ungumbhali ozimele ogxile kwezempilo, kwezenhlalo nakubuzali. Uchitha isikhathi sakhe efunda, ethanda umndeni wakhe futhi efunda umphakathi. Landela izindatshana zakhe kuye ikhasi lombhali.