Ngishumayele Ukulondeka Komzimba - Futhi Ngijulile Ekujuleni Kwami Kwemikhuba Yokudla Ngesikhathi esifanayo

-Delile

• "F ck wena, isiko lokudla!" Ngibabaza ngenjabulo. “Sengazi kangcono manje. Ngifunde isifundo sami.”
• Kepha lapho kuthinteka khona ukululama kokuphazamiseka kokudla, iskripthi - {textend} noma ngabe sifakwe ngekhanda - i- {textend} ayithathi indawo yomsebenzi
• “Angiqondi ukuthi abantu banquma kanjani ukuthi badle nini,” ngivuma kudokotela wami. Amehlo akhe avuleka ngokukhathazeka okujulile
• Ukube lokho bekuyiqiniso, bengingeke ngihlale lapha, ngihlanganyele nawe iqiniso elingakhululekile mayelana nokululama: Azikho izindlela ezinqamulelayo, awekho amazwi aphindaphindwayo, futhi akukho ukulungiswa okusheshayo
• U-ED wami wayethanda i-naïveté ye-Insta-friendly positivity, esebenzisa leyo nkolelo yokuphepha ukungikhohlisa ngicabange ukuthi ngilawula, ukuthi ngingcono kunakho konke lokhu
• Baningi abameli obabheka ukuthi babe nezikhathi ezilinganayo ezingathandeki kepha ezinesibindi ngokufana naleyo ndlela

Lokho okukholelwa enhliziyweni yakho akukwazi ukwelapha ukugula kwengqondo.

Angijwayele ukubhala ngempilo yami yengqondo lapho izinto “zintsha.”

Hhayi eminyakeni embalwa edlule, noma kunjalo. Ngikhetha ukuvumela izinto zihambe olwandle, nokuqinisekisa ukuthi amagama engiwakhethayo ayanika amandla, ayakha, futhi okubaluleke kakhulu, axazululiwe.

Ngincamela ukunikeza izeluleko lapho ngikwelinye icala lokuthile - {textend} ikakhulu ngoba ngiyazi ukuthi nginesibopho kubafundi bami, ukuze ngiqiniseke ukuthi ngibabhekisa endaweni efanele. Ngiyazi ukuthi le bhulogi ingaba yindlela yokuphila kubantu abadinga okuthile okunethemba. Ngizama ukukhumbula lokho.

Kepha kwesinye isikhathi, lapho ngipakisha kahle lelo themba lezethameli, ngingazikhohlisa ngicabange ukuthi ngiyiqhekezile ikhodi ngakho-ke, ngingawushiya umzabalazo esikhathini esedlule. Isiphetho esihle salesi sahluko, kunjengokungathi.

“Sengazi kangcono manje,” ngicabanga kimi. “Ngifunde isifundo sami.”

Ukube ubuyoya ku-Google "transgender body positivity," Nginesiqiniseko sokuthi kunezinto ezimbalwa engizibhalile zizovela.

Ngike ngabuzwa imibuzo ngama-podcast kanye nama-athikili, futhi ngaphakanyiswa njengesibonelo somuntu othutha - {textend} ngokushintsha okulula kokubuka futhi olandela ama-akhawunti alungile we-Insta - {textend} weza ukuzobuchaza kabusha ubudlelwano bakhe nokudla kanye umzimba wakhe.

Ngibhale womathathu lawa. Okujabulisayo.

Leyo nguqulo yemicimbi ingenye engiyithandayo, ngoba ilula kakhulu futhi iyaduduza. I-epiphany eyodwa ecwebezelayo, ekhanyayo, futhi ngiphumelela njengonqobayo, sengivele ngaphendukela ngaphezu kwanoma ikuphi ukukhathazeka komhlaba, okungenamsebenzi ngamamaki ami elula noma ukudla u-ayisikhilimu ngesidlo sasekuseni.

"F ck wena, isiko lokudla!" Ngibabaza ngenjabulo. “Sengazi kangcono manje. Ngifunde isifundo sami.”

Uma ungummeli nombhali wezempilo yengqondo, ikakhulukazi ngendlela esesidlangalaleni, kulula ukuzikhohlisa ngokucabanga ukuthi unazo zonke izimpendulo zezinkinga zakho.

Kepha leyo nkohliso yokulawula nokuzazi uqobo ilokho impela - {textend} iyinkohliso, futhi iyinkohliso ngaleso sikhathi.

Kulula ukukhomba eminyakeni engiyichithe kulesi sikhala, nakho konke engikushicilele mayelana nale nto ngqo, futhi ngigcizelela ukuthi ngilawule izinto. Akuyona i-rodeo yami yokuqala, i-pal. Noma okwesibili. Okwesithathu. Okwesine. (Nginakho isipiliyoni ngasohlangothini lwami.)

Uma ngikwazi ukuxhasa abanye ngokululama kwabo, impela ngiyakwazi ukuzulazula kweyami. Noma ngikubhala lokho, ngiyazi ukuthi kuyahlekisa - {textend} ukunikeza izeluleko ezinhle kulula kakhulu kunokuzisebenzisa kuwe, ikakhulukazi lapho kuthinteka khona ukugula kwengqondo.

Kodwa uhlobo lwami engilukhethayo yilo oluthe kule ngxoxo, “Uma ufika kolunye uhlangothi lwento onenkinga nayo, uzobona ukuthi awathathi lawo mathuba - {textend} uhlala uhhafu kuphela Impilo obukade uyiphila - i- {textend} isabeka kakhulu kunanoma iyiphi inhlekelele obucabanga ukuthi ingalethwa ukudla lelo qatha lekhekhe noma ngabe bekuyini. ”

Kusho umuntu, ngokweqiniso nangeqiniso, ophila kulokho kwesaba empilweni ephila uhhafu ngalesi sikhathi.

Ukuzethemba komzimba kuzwakale njengobudlelwano engingena kubo ngisemncane kangako, kudala ngaphambi kokuba ngizazi mina noma inkinga yami yokudla. Futhi lapho sengijule kakhulu, sengizibeke njengonqobayo, bengingazi ukuthi ngingahlehla kanjani ngokwanele ukucela usizo.

Bengifuna ukukholelwa ukuthi bekufana nokuthatheka engingakusho phambi kwesibuko kaningana - {textend} “yonke imizimba iyimizimba emihle! yonke imizimba iyimizimba emihle! yonke imizimba iyimizimba emihle! ” - {textend} kanye UBUPHOFU! Ngakhululwa kunoma yiliphi icala, amahloni, noma ukwesaba engangikuzwa ngiseduze kokudla noma umzimba wami.

Ngingasho zonke izinto ezifanele, njengombhalo engingawuprakthiza, futhi ngithande umbono nesithombe sami lapho ngibuka lawo amalensi anombala obovu.

Kepha lapho kuthinteka khona ukululama kokuphazamiseka kokudla, iskripthi - {textend} noma ngabe sifakwe ngekhanda - i- {textend} ayithathi indawo yomsebenzi

Futhi akukho manani ama-Instagram memes nezithombe zamafutha esisu angathinta izilonda ezindala, ezibuhlungu ezazibeke ukudla njengesitha sami, nomzimba wami njengesiza sempi.

Okusho konke, angibuyiswanga. Umsebenzi wawungakaqali nokuqala.

Eqinisweni, ngisebenzise ukusondelana kwami ​​nezikhala zomzimba ukunganaki umqondo wokuthi ngidinga usizo - {textend} futhi sengikhokha inani ngokomzimba, ngokwengqondo nangokomzwelo manje.

Ngangigqoka ubuhle bomzimba njengesengezo, ukuveza isithombe sami engangifuna ukuba yiso, futhi inkinga yami yokudla yavela emcabangweni wokuthi ngingamisa iqiniso lokugula kwami ​​ngokumane nginqume imithombo yezokuxhumana ngokufanele.

Ukuqonda kwami ​​okuhle komzimba - {textend} futhi ngokwengezwa, izimpande zayo ekwamukelweni kwamafutha nenkululeko - {textend} bekungajulile kakhulu, kepha kuphela ngenxa yokuthi inkinga yami yokudla ikhule uma nje ngisekele inkohliso ebengiyazi kangcono. Lokhu kwakungeyona enye indlela yokuzikholisa ukuthi ngangilawula, ukuthi nganginobuhlakani kune-ED yami.

Isifo enganginaso sasinentshisekelo yokungenza ngibe nomuzwa ongamanga wokulondeka. Angikwazanga ukuba nenkinga yokudla, ngacabanga - {textend} ukudla okungakhubazekile, mhlawumbe, kepha ngubani ongakutholi? Angikwazanga ngoba ngangikhona savela. Sengathi ukugula kwengqondo kuke kunikeze i- f * * k mayelana nezincwadi ozifundile.

Izinkinga zokudla zinendlela yokunyonyobela kuwe. Lokho kubona kuyinto entsha kimi - {textend} hhayi ngoba ngingakuqondanga kahle lokho, kepha ngoba ngikwamukele kuphela ngokomongo wokuhlangenwe nakho kwami ​​okwedlule kulezi zinsuku ezimbalwa ezedlule.

Futhi ngifisa sengathi bengingasho ukuthi le epiphany ize kimi ngedwa, yangikhuthaza ukuthi ngibuyise impilo yami. Kepha abukho ubuqhawe obunjalo lapha. Kufike obala kuphela ngoba udokotela wami ubuze imibuzo efanele ngesikhathi sokuhlolwa okujwayelekile, futhi umsebenzi wami wegazi waveza lokho engangikwesaba ukuba yiqiniso - {textend} umzimba wami wawuzokwenziwa ungabikho ukudla okwanele, okuncane kakhulu okunomsoco.

“Angiqondi ukuthi abantu banquma kanjani ukuthi badle nini,” ngivuma kudokotela wami. Amehlo akhe avuleka ngokukhathazeka okujulile

“Badla lapho balambile, Sam,” esho ngesinono.

Ngesinye isikhathi noma kwesinye, ngangikukhohlwe ngokuphelele lelo qiniso elilula, eliyisisekelo.Kunomshini emzimbeni, ohlose ukungiqondisa, futhi nginqume konke ukubopha kuwo ngokuphelele.

Angikukwabelani lokhu njengokuzigxeka mina, kodwa kunalokho, njengeqiniso elilula kakhulu: Abaningi bethu abadunyiswa njengobuso bokululama namanje, ngezindlela eziningi, basenkingeni kanye nawe.

Kwesinye isikhathi lokhu okubonayo akusona isithombe sempumelelo, kepha kunalokho, ucezu oluncane lwephazili elicace bha, elixakile esizama ukuhlangana ngalo ekusithekeni, ukuze kungabikho muntu ophawula ukuthi siyizicucu.

Ukululama kwami ​​kwesifo sokudla, eqinisweni, kusencane kakhulu. Ngisanda kuyeka ukusebenzisa "ukudla okungahambi kahle" ukufihla iqiniso, futhi namhlanje ekuseni, ekugcineni ngikhulume nodokotela wezokudla ogxile kuma-ED.

Namuhla ekuseni.

Namuhla, empeleni, usuku lokuqala langempela lokululama. Lokho sekuyiminyaka emithathu ngemuva kwalokho, ngabhala la mazwi: “Akusekho ukulungiswa. Azisekho izaba. Alukho olunye usuku ... lokhu akusikho ukulawula. ”

Ngiyazi ukuthi kunabafundi okungenzeka ukuthi babebheka umsebenzi wami ekuvuseleleni umzimba futhi bafaka umqondo ongafanele wokuthi ukuphazamiseka kokudla (noma yiluphi uhlobo lokunganaki komzimba noma ukuphazamiseka kokudla) kumane kuyizindlela esizicabangayo (noma kimi, ukuzibhala) ye.

Ukube lokho bekuyiqiniso, bengingeke ngihlale lapha, ngihlanganyele nawe iqiniso elingakhululekile mayelana nokululama: Azikho izindlela ezinqamulelayo, awekho amazwi aphindaphindwayo, futhi akukho ukulungiswa okusheshayo

Futhi njengoba sikhazimulisa umqondo wothando lokuzitholela olutholakala kalula - {textend} kube sengathi kungesinye sezitshalo ezinhle kakhulu kude - {textend} siphuthelwa umsebenzi ojulile okufanele wenziwe ngaphakathi kwethu, ukuthi kungabi bikho inani lezingcaphuno ezibabazekayo, ezikhuthazayo I-retweet ingashintsha.

Ukuhlukumezeka akukho phezulu, futhi ukuze sithinte inhliziyo yako, kufanele singene shí.

Leli yiqiniso elibi nelingazisi engizolithola - {textend} main, water-down positivity positivity lingavula umnyango lisingenise, kodwa kukithi ukwenza umsebenzi wangempela wokululama.

Futhi lokho kuqala hhayi ngaphandle, kepha ngaphakathi kwethu. Ukululama ukuzibophezela okuqhubekayo okumele sikukhethe nsuku zonke, ngamabomu nangesibindi, ngokuthembeka okunzima kithina kanye nezinhlelo zethu zokusekela ngangokunokwenzeka.

Akunandaba ukuthi siyikhathalela kanjani imithombo yezokuxhumana yethu ukusikhumbuza ukuthi singathanda ukuba kuphi, umbono wokulangazelela esiwenzayo awusoze uthathe indawo yeqiniso esiphila kulo.

Njengoba kwenzeka kaningi ngezinkinga zokudla, ngiyabona, isifiso - {textend} sokuthi “okungaba yini” - {textend} kaningi kuba yimpoqo, idrayivu yokuhlanya, lapho sihlala khona esikhathini esizayo esingakaze sifike e.

Futhi ngaphandle kokuthi sizibophezele ekusimameni ngokuqinile okwamanje, noma (futhi ikakhulukazi) lapho kungakhululeki ukuba lapha, siyekela amandla ethu bese siwela ngaphansi kwaso.

U-ED wami wayethanda i-naïveté ye-Insta-friendly positivity, esebenzisa leyo nkolelo yokuphepha ukungikhohlisa ngicabange ukuthi ngilawula, ukuthi ngingcono kunakho konke lokhu

Futhi angikwazi ukusho ukuthi iyangimangaza - {textend} Ama-ED abonakala ethatha izinto eziningi esizithandayo (u-ayisikhilimu, i-yoga, imfashini) futhi aziphendukise ngandlela thile.

Anginazo zonke izimpendulo, ngaphandle kokusho lokhu: Siyimisebenzi eqhubekayo, sonke, ngisho nalabo obheke kubo.

Isisekelo siyindawo enesizungu, futhi ngicabanga ukuthi isizungu lapho izinkinga zokudla (nezifo eziningi zengqondo) zivame ukukhula khona. Ngibe lapha isikhathi eside kakhulu, ngilinde buthule ukuwa noma ikhubeke ngaphansi kwami ​​- {textend} noma yikuphi okufike kuqala.

Ngenkathi ngenza ukwehla kwami, ngehla kancane ngisehla esisekelweni futhi ngingena ekukhanyeni kokululama kwami, ngizokwamukela iqiniso okumele sonke silikhumbule: Kulungile ukungalungi.

Kulungile ukungabi nazo zonke izimpendulo, noma ngabe umhlaba wonke ulindele ukuthi ube nazo, noma ngabe ulindele wena uku.

Angiyena, njengoba abanye abantu bengichazile, "anginabuso bokuqina komzimba we-transgender." Uma ngikhona, angifuni ukuba - {textend} Angifuni noma ngubani wethu ukuba abe uma lokho kusho ukuthi asivunyelwe ukuba ngabantu.

Ngifuna ukuthi usikhuhle leso sithombe engqondweni yakho futhi, esikhundleni salokho, wazi ukuthi ngangikuphi izolo: Ukubambelela kunyikinywa okunempilo empilweni ethandekayo (ngokoqobo - {textend} kungigcinile ngiphila kulezi zinyanga ezimbalwa ezedlule), bengingagezile kathathu izinsuku, ngenkathi uthumela amagama athi "Ngicabanga ukuthi ngidinga usizo."

Baningi abameli obabheka ukuthi babe nezikhathi ezilinganayo ezingathandeki kepha ezinesibindi ngokufana naleyo ndlela

Senza nsuku zonke, noma ngabe sinesithombe ozishuthe sona ukufakazela ukuthi kwenzeke noma cha. (Abanye bethu banemibhalo yamaqembu, futhi bayangethemba, sonke sikwiHot Mess Express ndawonye. Thembisa.)

Uma uzwe sengathi awuvunyelwe ukuthi “wehluleke” (noma kunalokho, uthole ukungaphelele, okuxakile, futhi f * * uthole ukubuyiswa), ngifuna ukukunikeza imvume yokuphila lelo qiniso, ngazo zonke izindlela ukwethembeka nokuba sengozini okudingayo.

Kulungile ukuyeka ukwenza ukutakula. Futhi ngithembe, ngiyazi ukuthi kukhulu kangakanani ukubuza lokho, ngoba lokho kusebenza bekuyingubo yami yezokuphepha (nomthombo wokuphika kwami) kangako, isikhathi eside.

Ungazinikela kokungabaza, ukwesaba, nokungaphatheki kahle okuza nokwenza lo msebenzi, futhi uzinike imvume yokuba ngumuntu. Ungakuyeka lokho kulawula futhi - {textend} Ngiyatshelwa, noma kunjalo - {textend} konke kuzolunga.

Futhi lo mphakathi omangalisayo wamaqhawe wokululama esiwadale ngama-meme wethu, izingcaphuno zethu ezikhuthazayo, kanye neziqongqo zethu zezitshalo? Sizobe silapha, silinde ukukuxhasa.

Angikwazi ukusho ukuthi ngiyakwazi lokhu ngokuqinisekile (sawubona, uSuku Lokuqala), kepha nginokusola okukhulu ukuthi lolu hlobo lokuthembeka kulapho ukukhula kwangempela kwenzeka khona. Futhi nomaphi lapho kukhona ukukhula, ngitholile, lapho ukuphulukiswa kuqala khona ngampela.

Futhi yilokho okusifanele, sonke. Hhayi uhlobo lokufuna ukuphulukiswa, kepha izinto ezijulile.

Ngifuna lokho kimi. Ngifuna lokho kithi sonke.

Lo mbhalo uqale ukuvela lapha ngoJanuwari 2019.

USam Dylan Finch ungumhleli wezempilo yezengqondo kanye nezimo ezingapheli eHealthline. Futhi uyi-blogger ngemuva kwe-Let Queer Things Up !, lapho abhala khona ngempilo yengqondo, ukuzethemba komzimba, kanye nobunikazi be-LGBTQ +. Njengommeli, unentshisekelo yokwakhela umphakathi abantu abaphila kabusha. Ungamthola ku-Twitter, ku-Instagram naku-Facebook, noma ufunde kabanzi ku-samdylanfinch.com.