Amadoda ayi-10 Asitshele Ukuthi Afisa Ukuthi Amanye Amadoda Awazi Yini Ngempilo Yengqondo

-Delile

• 1. Umphakathi utshela abesilisa ukuthi akwamukelekile neze ukuba nemizwa eminingi.
• 2. Kunezizathu eziningi zokuthi amadoda angafuni usizo, noma ngabe aludinga.
• 3. Kwesinye isikhathi, noma ngabe uyazi ukuthi udinga usizo, kungaba nzima ukwazi ukuthi ungaqala kuphi.
• 4. Futhi ngenkathi ukuthola umelaphi kunzima futhi kungathatha ukulinga nokwenza iphutha, ekugcineni kufanelekile.
• 5. Futhi, "ukuthola usizo" kungathatha izindlela eziningi.
• 6. Abantu bavame ukuzwa ukukhululeka okukhulu ngemuva kokugcina bazi abanye ukuthi babhekene nani.
• 7. Izinkinga zempilo yengqondo zivame kakhulu kunalokho ongakucabanga, kepha ngokukhuluma, amanye amadoda azama ukuqwashisa.
• 8. Izinkinga zempilo yengqondo kungaba nzima ukuziqonda kahle uma ungakaze uzizwele wena.
• 9. Iqiniso lokuthi osaziwayo babonakala bakhululeka ngokwengeziwe ukukhuluma ngempilo yabo yengqondo nalo liyakhuthaza, kwesinye isikhathi lize lifake ihlaya lokuthi ukuhlala nokugula kwengqondo kunjani.
• 10. Onke amahlaya eceleni, ochwepheshe kulo mkhakha banombono wethemba.

Isiko lethu alihlali lishiyela abantu besilisa ithuba lokuveza umzabalazo wangaphakathi. La madoda azama ukukuguqula lokho.

Noma ngubani ophila nezinkinga zempilo yengqondo, ukukhuluma ngakho nanoma ngubani - ingasaphathwa eyengcweti yezempilo yengqondo - kungabonakala kusabisa futhi kunzima. Ngisho nokwesabisa.

Kwabesilisa ikakhulukazi, abatshelwe impilo yabo yonke ukuthi "bavuke" futhi "babe namandla," ukufinyelela izinsizakusebenza zempilo yengqondo kungabonakala kuphambene nokulindelwe ngamasiko.

Kepha eminyakeni eminingana edlule, bekukhona ubushoshovu obukhulayo nentshisekelo maqondana nendaba yempilo yabesilisa besilisa, ngokwengxenye sibonga kulabo abasemkhakheni wezindaba abebezwakalisa okokuzithokozisa kwabo.

Kubaluleke kakhulu ukukhuluma futhi ulwe nokucwaswa. Nakhu ochwepheshe bezempilo yengqondo, osaziwayo, nabesilisa ababhekene nezinkinga zabo zempilo yengqondo abafuna abanye bazi, kufaka phakathi ukuthi kunjani ukuthola ukuxilongwa kwezempilo yengqondo, ukucela usizo, nokuthi bacabanga ukuthi ikusasa lempilo yengqondo yamadoda kufana ne.

1. Umphakathi utshela abesilisa ukuthi akwamukelekile neze ukuba nemizwa eminingi.

“Amadoda afundiswa kusukela ebuncaneni, kungaba ngokubhekisa emasikweni abawazungezile noma ngokukhulisa abazali ngqo, ukuthi babe lukhuni, bangakhali, futhi 'bagxambukele,'” kusho uDkt David Plans, isikhulu esiphezulu seBioBeats, esenze okuningi cwaninga kule ndawo. “Siqeqesha amasosha namaqhawe anekhono, bese silindela ukuthi bahlakaniphe ngokwenhliziyo ukuthi bakwazi ukuvula lapho bedinga usizo. Okubi kakhulu, siyazilindela * never * ukudinga usizo. Kumele silethe ukuba sengozini, njengesimiso esiyinhloko samandla omzwelo, ohlakeni lobudoda. ”

Ngokuyinhloko, ochwepheshe bathi, imiyalezo amadoda ayithola lapho eseyizingane kuya phezulu nokuba mdala iyabadumaza ekwaziseni noma ngubani ukuthi adinga usizo. Noma sibonga, lokhu sekuqala ukushintsha.

2. Kunezizathu eziningi zokuthi amadoda angafuni usizo, noma ngabe aludinga.

"Kungaba nzima kakhulu ukuvuma ukuthi udonsa kanzima njengendoda," kusho u-Alex MacLellan, umelaphi kanye nomqeqeshi wokukhathazeka, utshela iHealthline. “Ngokuqondakalayo, uyazi ukuthi wonke umuntu wehla, unenkinga ngezikhathi ezithile, noma ukuthola kunzima ukubhekana nakho, kodwa kuvame ukuzwakala sengathi uwena kuphela umuntu ongabonakali ukubhekana nayo. Ulala uphapheme ebusuku uwedwa, uzibuze ukuthi kungani ungeke ukwazi ukulawula ngendlela obekufanele ube ngayo futhi uzama ngamandla ukuthi ungavumeli omunye umuntu abone ukuthi uqhuba kanjani ngempela. ”

3. Kwesinye isikhathi, noma ngabe uyazi ukuthi udinga usizo, kungaba nzima ukwazi ukuthi ungaqala kuphi.

"Sengike ngabhekana nabesilisa abaningi abangafuni ukucela usizo ngoba besaba ukubukeka bebuthakathaka noma beyiziphukuphuku," kusho uTimothy Wenger, ingcweti kwezempilo yezengqondo yamadoda kanye ne-blogger eThe Man Effect.

“Le yinto engisebenza kanzima ukuyiguqula. Ngifuna abesilisa bazi ukuthi izingqinamba zabo zangaphakathi zisasebenza njenganoma yimuphi nje omunye umzabalazo, futhi lokhu akubenzi bangabi yindoda. Engikutholayo, nokho, ukuthi amadoda amaningi awazi ukuthi angalucela kanjani usizo. ”

4. Futhi ngenkathi ukuthola umelaphi kunzima futhi kungathatha ukulinga nokwenza iphutha, ekugcineni kufanelekile.

“Njengowukuphela kwengane nendodana yomeluleki oqeqeshiwe onobunikazi, ungacabanga ukuthi ukuthola ukwelashwa kungaba lula,” kusho u-A.D Burks, umbhali we “The 4 STEPS: A Practical Guide to Breaking the Addictive Cycle.”

“Nokho, kwakuphambene nje! Ngacabanga, ‘Yini umelaphi azongitshela yona engingayazi vele?’ Ngemuva kokuxwayiswa ngabangane bami abaseduze, nginqume ukuhlela isikhathi sami sokuqala. Ngeshwa, lowo mphilisi othile wayengeyena olungile - eqinisekisa ngaphambi kwesikhathi engqondweni yami ukuthi ngangikwazi konke. Noma kunjalo, ngangisalwa nokulutha. Ngokujabulisayo, umeluleki wami wangiphonsela inselelo yokuthi ngivakashele udokotela othile. Ukuhambela kwami ​​okokuqala kulowo mkhambi wezokwelapha kwashintsha impilo yami futhi ekugcineni kwangisiza ukuba ngihlele IZINYATHELO EZINE. ”

5. Futhi, "ukuthola usizo" kungathatha izindlela eziningi.

"Kuhle ukukhumbula ukuthi 'ukucela usizo' akuwona umsebenzi okhandlayo, onzima ngaso sonke isikhathi," kusho uMatt Mahalo, umbhali nosomlomo obhekane nezinkinga zakhe zempilo yengqondo.

“Kwesinye isikhathi, into elula njengamahora ambalwa ukubamba izindaba zokubuyiselwa emuva namathiphu ku-YouTube kunganela ukuqalisa endleleni yokululama. Kwesinye isikhathi kuthatha uhambo olulula oluya emtatsheni wezincwadi. Isibonelo, isinyathelo sami sokuqala esibalulekile senzeka ngenkathi ngifunda ‘Ubuciko Benjabulo.’ ”

6. Abantu bavame ukuzwa ukukhululeka okukhulu ngemuva kokugcina bazi abanye ukuthi babhekene nani.

Lokhu kufaka phakathi umculi uZayn Malik, osanda kuphumela obala ngokuhlangenwe nakho kwakhe ngokukhathazeka kanye nenkinga yokudla.

“Ngijabule impela ukuthi ngikususile lokho esifubeni sami, njenganoma ngubani lapho uzizwa sengathi ugcina okuthile kumuntu. Kufanele ukhulume ngakho futhi ususe umoya, ”utshele i-Us Weekly engxoxweni abe nayo.

7. Izinkinga zempilo yengqondo zivame kakhulu kunalokho ongakucabanga, kepha ngokukhuluma, amanye amadoda azama ukuqwashisa.

“Ngingakutshela, mhlawumbe ngike ngaba okungenani nezinyanga eziyishumi nambili zokucindezeleka esengidlule kuzo. Futhi owango-2014, bengingafuni ukuthi ngiphile, ”kusho uMichael Phelps utshele i-TODAY.

Uma kubhekwa ukuthi umuntu omdala kwabangu-5 base-U.S uhlangabezana nesimo sempilo yengqondo kunoma yimuphi unyaka, kubalulekile ukuthi lezi zinkinga zijwayeleke - futhi yingakho nje uPhelps enza iphuzu lokwabelana ngolwazi lwakhe nabanye.

“Uyazi, kimi, ngiphethe cishe yonke imizwa engemihle ongayiphatha iminyaka eyi-15-20 futhi angikaze ngikhulume ngayo. Futhi angazi ukuthi kungani ngolunye usuku nginqume ukuvele ngivule. Kodwa kusukela ngalolo suku, bekulula kakhulu ukuphila futhi kulula kakhulu ukujabulela impilo futhi kuyinto engiyibonga kakhulu, ”kusho uPhelps.

8. Izinkinga zempilo yengqondo kungaba nzima ukuziqonda kahle uma ungakaze uzizwele wena.

Engomeni yakhe ethi "In My Blood," isihlabani somculo we-pop uShawn Mendes ubhekana namava akhe ngokukhathazeka, ecula ethi, "Ngisize, kufana nokuthi izindonga ziyangena. Kwesinye isikhathi ngizizwa sengathi ngifuna ukuyeka."

Ekhuluma neBeats 1 ngale ngoma, uthe, “Kwakuyinto ethile eyangishaya phakathi nonyaka odlule. Ngaphambi kwalokho, ngikhula, ngangiyingane ezolile, engaguquguquki. ”

Ubuye waveza ukuthi kungaba nzima ukuqonda empeleni ukuthi abantu abaphila nokukhathazeka babhekene nani uze uzizwele wena. "Ngangazi abantu ababehlushwa ukukhathazeka futhi ngakuthola kunzima ukukuqonda, kepha-ke uma kukushaya, ufana nokuthi," O Nkulunkulu wami, yini le? Kuyahlanya lokhu, ’” kusho yena.

9. Iqiniso lokuthi osaziwayo babonakala bakhululeka ngokwengeziwe ukukhuluma ngempilo yabo yengqondo nalo liyakhuthaza, kwesinye isikhathi lize lifake ihlaya lokuthi ukuhlala nokugula kwengqondo kunjani.

Ngo-2017, uPete Davidson weSaturday Night Live wavula ngokuhlangenwe nakho kwakhe ngokudangala okungapheli nokuxilongwa kwakhe kwakamuva kokuphazamiseka kobuntu emngceleni.

“Ukudangala kuthinta abantu abangaphezu kwezigidi eziyi-16 kuleli futhi alikho ikhambi ngasese, kodwa kunoma ngubani obhekene nalo, kukhona izindlela zokwelashwa ezingasiza. Okokuqala, uma ucabanga ukuthi ucindezelekile, bonana nodokotela bese ukhuluma nabo ngemithi. Futhi futhi ube nempilo. Ukudla ngendlela efanele nokuzivocavoca umzimba kungenza umehluko omkhulu, ”kuncoma uDavidson.

Uqhubeke ngokumamatheka: "Ekugcineni, uma ukulingisi lomdlalo wamahlaya wasebusuku kakhulu, kungasiza uma, uyazi, benze eminye imidwebo yakho yamahlaya."

10. Onke amahlaya eceleni, ochwepheshe kulo mkhakha banombono wethemba.

"Njengoba amadoda amaningi (ikakhulukazi lawo asemehlweni omphakathi) ekhuluma ngezinkinga zabo nangolwazi abanalo ngezinkinga zempilo yengqondo, amanye amadoda ayabona ukuthi umzabalazo ungokoqobo futhi awuwedwa," kusho u-Adam Gonzalez, PhD, isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo somtholampilo esinelayisense kanye nomqondisi osungula iMind-Body Clinical Research Center eStony Brook Medicine.

"Singaqhubeka nokusabalalisa ukuqwashisa futhi sijwayele iqiniso lokuthi kungaba nzima ukuphatha ukucindezeleka nezidingo zansuku zonke," esho.

"Okubaluleke kakhulu, sidinga ukuqhubeka nokukhipha umyalezo wethemba," kusho uGonzalez. "Kunemithi ephumelelayo yokwelashwa kwengqondo kanye nemithi engasiza ekulawuleni ukucindezeleka, ukukhathazeka, ukudangala nezinye izinkinga zempilo yengqondo."

UJulia wayengumhleli wephephabhuku owaphenduka umbhali wezempilo futhi waba “ngumqeqeshi ekuqeqesheni.” Ezinze e-Amsterdam, uhamba ngamabhayisikili nsuku zonke futhi uhambahamba emhlabeni wonke efuna izikhathi zokujuluka ezinzima nemali yokudla imifino engcono kakhulu.