Sicela Ufunde Lokhu Uma Ukukhathazeka Komphakathi Konakalisa Impilo Yakho Yokuphola

-Delile

• 1. Thembeka
• 2. Prakthiza!
• 3. Thumela umyalezo ngaphambi komngane ukuze uthole isikhuthazo
• 4. Fika kusenesikhathi
• 5. Khumbula i-CBT yakho
• 6. Yidlale iphephile

“Akulungile-ke lokhu.”

Lawo kwakungamazwi omlingo engawasho kumyeni wami manje uDani lapho sihlangana okokuqala. Akusizanga ukuthi aqale angene ehaga, kanti ngiwumuntu oqinile wokuxhawula. Kepha ngamthusa impela ngesitatimende sami sokuvula.

Ukukhathazeka kwezenhlalo kungenza ukuphola kube yinkohliso… noma, uma ngithembeke ngokuphelele, kukwenza kube iphupho elibi. Njengomuntu ozonda izingxoxo, ukusebenza kwami ​​ngosuku bekungeke kube kuhle. Ngemuva kwakho konke, usuku lokuqala ngokuyinhloko luyinhlolokhono yomsebenzi ngokweqile - ngaphandle kwama-cocktails (uma unenhlanhla).

Isibonelo, abanye babangani bami abasondelene kakhulu babecabanga ukuthi ngiyindlovukazi yeqhwa ngenkathi sihlangana okokuqala. Uma ngimthanda ngempela umuntu - ngendlela yothando noma cha - ngivame ukuba kude nabantu futhi ngigweme ukubonwa ngamehlo. Ngihlangabezana nokuthi nginesithukuthezi noma anginantshisekelo, kodwa empeleni nginesiqephu esikhathazayo. Ukwesaba ukusho “into engalungile” noma ukuzizwela njengomuntu olahlekile kudla konke.

Kepha emuva kosuku lwami lokuqala nomyeni wami: Ngifike esiteshini sesitimela okungenani imizuzu eyi-10 kusenesikhathi, ngijuluka amabhakede, futhi ngiphikisana ngokuthi kufanele ngiphume lapho ngaphambi kokuthi ngizenze isilima.

Kepha kungekudala, ngase ngihleli naye endaweni yokucima ukoma, izinga lokushisa kwami ​​laliphezulu. Angikwazanga ukukhipha ijezi lami ngoba ngangijuluka kakhulu - akekho ofuna ukubona amabala ezimjuluko! Izandla zami zazithuthumela ngakho-ke angikwazanga ukufinyelela engilazini yami yewayini, uma kungenzeka abone.

UDani: “Ngitshele kabanzi ngalokho okwenzayo.”

Mina (ngaphakathi): "Yeka ukungibuka, ngidinga ukuphuza iwayini lami."

Mina (ngaphandle): “O, ngisebenza nje ekushicileleni. Wenzani?"

UDani: "Yebo, kodwa, wenzani ekushicileleni?"

Mina (ngaphakathi): "[Lala]"

Mina (ngaphandle): “Akukho okuningi, hahaha!”

Ngalesi sikhathi, wakhothama ukuze abophe umucu wakhe wezicathulo, phakathi naleso sikhathi ngehlisa ngokoqobo uhhafu wengilazi yami. Lokhu kwangisusa emaphethelweni ezinzwa zami. Hhayi isixazululo esihle kunazo zonke, kepha yini ongayenza. Ngenhlanhla, wavele wangithanda impela ukuthi ngingubani. Ekugcineni ngamtshela ngokuba nokukhathazeka kwezenhlalo (ngenkathi ngivalelwe endlini yangasese ehhotela eseholidini… indaba ende). Okunye umlando.

Okuhlangenwe nakho kwami ​​kunginike ukuqonda okuningi ngamasu okusiza - nokuthi yimaphi amasu angakusizi neze - uma kukhulunywa ngokuthola iphuzu lomhlangano phakathi kwempilo yokuphola esebenzayo nokuphila nokukhathazeka komphakathi. Ngiyethemba ukuthi amathiphu alandelayo angaba wusizo!

1. Thembeka

Angisho ukuthi vuma ukuthi unenkinga yezenhlalo ngokushesha nje lapho uhlangana. Ngiqonde ukuthembeka ngendawo ozokhululeka kuyo. Isibonelo, uma bephakamisa ukuphosa i-bowling, ukudla endaweni yokudlela, noma enye into ekwenza uthuke, usho kanjalo. Ukuba nokukhathazeka komphakathi kunzima ngokwanele ngaphandle kokuzizwa ungakhululekile ezindaweni zakho. Awudingi ukungena emininingwaneni eminingi. Vele usho okuthile okufana nokuthi, "Empeleni, angiyena umlandeli walokho" noma "Ngingathanda ukwenza [X], uma lokho kulungile."

2. Prakthiza!

Enye yezinto ezinhle mayelana nezinhlelo zokusebenza zokuphola ukuthi zikunikeza inketho yokuhlangana nabantu abaningi abasha. Uma uthola ukuqhuma kwesimo sokuphola, kungani ungazakhi ukuzethemba kwakho ngokuya ezinsukwini ezimbalwa zokuzijwayeza?

3. Thumela umyalezo ngaphambi komngane ukuze uthole isikhuthazo

Ngijwayele ukusho okuthile okufana nokuthi, "Ngiyazixaka… ngicela ungitshele ukuthi ngimangalisa kanjani!"

4. Fika kusenesikhathi

Ukuba kule ndawo ngaphambi kosuku lwakho kungakunika isikhathi sokujwayela futhi uthokomele. Kodwa ungafiki ngaphezu kwemizuzu eyi-10 ngaphambi kwesikhathi!

5. Khumbula i-CBT yakho

Yenza ukwelashwa kokuziphatha kwengqondo (CBT) "Umcabango Wokucabanga" kusengaphambili ukuphonsela inselelo noma yimiphi imicabango emibi.

6. Yidlale iphephile

Usuku lokuqala akusona neze isikhathi sokuzama isitayela esisha sezinwele noma ukubukeka kwezimonyo. Ithuba nje lokuthi konke kuzokungahambi kahle lizokwenza ngokwanele amazinga akho okucindezeleka. Vele ugcine ulula. Khetha okuthile okukwenza uzizwe ukhululekile kodwa uzethembe.

Ukuya osukwini lapho unezinkathazo zomphakathi kungazwakala kunzima, kepha ukukhathazeka kwakho akudingeki kukuvimbe empilweni. Ukuthatha izinyathelo ezimbalwa ezinempilo kungenza umehluko omkhulu!

UClaire Eastham uyi-blogger futhi ungumbhali othengisa kakhulu ku- "Sonke Sisangene Lapha." Ungaxhuma naye ku iwebhusayithi yakhe noma umthumele nge-tweet @ClaireyLove.