Uwele Kanjani Owesifazane Othandanayo Neqembu Lokuqina Ngemuva Kweminyaka Eyishumi Yokuhlukaniswa

-Delile

• Ukuthola Umphakathi Ngokuqina
• Ukuthatha Ukuxhumeka Kwayo Ku-inthanethi
• Ukuzikhandla Ngokwedlulele
• Ukubheka Phambili kokuthi Okulandelayo
• Buyekeza kwe-

Kukhona iphuzu empilweni kaDawn Sabourin lapho okuwukuphela kwento efrijini lakhe kwakuyigalani lamanzi ayengakaze alithintile unyaka wonke. Isikhathi esiningi wayesichitha eyedwa embhedeni.

Sekuyiminyaka ecishe ibe yishumi uSabourin elwa ne-PTSD nokudangala okukhulu, okwamshiya engakhuthazeli ukudla, ukunyakaza, ukuzijabulisa nokuzinakekela ngokweqiniso. "Bengizivumele ngahamba ngaze ngafinyelela ezingeni lokuthi ukuvele ngikhiphele inja yami ngaphandle kwacoboshisa imisipha yami kwaze kwaba sezingeni lokuthi ngingakwazi ukusebenza," etshela yena. Umumo.

Into ekugcineni eyamkhipha kule funk eyingozi ingakumangaza: Kwakuyizigaba zokuzilolonga kweqembu. (Okuhlobene: Indlela Engaba Ngumqeqeshi Wokuqina Kweqembu eTop Gym)

Ukuthola Umphakathi Ngokuqina

USabourin uthole ukuthanda kwakhe ukuzivocavoca kweqembu ngemuva kokubamba iqhaza UmumoICrush Your Goals Challenge, uhlelo lwezinsuku ezingama-40 oludizayinelwe futhi luholwa nguGen Widerstrom ongumzimba wokuzivocavoca ohloselwe ukusebenza nanoma iyiphi imigomo ongahle ube nayo, kungaba ukwehla kwesisindo, amandla athuthukisiwe, umjaho, noma, kothile ofana noSabourin , indlela yokuguqula izinto bese ihamba nje.

"Ngenkathi ngenza isinqumo sokwenza iGoal Crushers, kwaba, ngokuphelele, ukuzama kwami ​​kokugcina ukungena empilweni."

UDawn Sabourin

USabourin uyavuma ukuthi ukujoyina inselele "kwakuwumgomo ophakeme" ngemuva kokuchitha iminyaka eminingi elwa nezinkinga zakhe yedwa. Kodwa, uthi, wayazi ukuthi kukhona okumele kushintshe ukuze impilo yakhe ibuyele esimeni.

"Izinhloso zami [zenselelo] bekuwukuxazulula zonke izinkinga zami zezokwelapha ukuze kungenzeka Ngingakwazi ukuzivocavoca umzimba, "kusho uSabourin, owayebhekane nakho konke kusuka ekuhlinzweni kokwakhiwa kabusha kwamahlombe kuya ekulahlekeni kokulala, phezu kwezinkinga zakhe zempilo yengqondo.

USabourin uyachaza ukuthi wayefuna nokufunda ukuxhumana nabantu. "Akufani nokuthi ngangingeke ngibe nobudlelwano phakathi kwabantu, kodwa [ngangizizwa] ukuthi ngiyinhlekelele kubantu," kuchaza yena. "Ngenkathi ngenza isinqumo sokwenza iGoal Crushers, kwaba, ngokuphelele, ukuzama kwami ​​kokugcina ukungena empilweni."

Ezinsukwini ezingama-40 kamuva, inselelo isiqediwe, uSabourin wabona ukuthi useqala ukuxhumana nabantu abaseqenjini le-Goal Crushers Facebook. “Wonke umuntu wayemeseka kakhulu,” usho kanje ngozakwabo abagxoba amagoli.

Yize kungenzeka ukuthi uSabourin akazange axazulule ezinye zezinkinga zempilo ayenayo (okuvunywa kakhulu ngudokotela), wayeqala ukwenza inqubekelaphambili yangempela ekhonweni lakhe lokuzibeka lapho futhi axhumane nabantu. Ngemuva kweminyaka eminingi ehlala yedwa, uthi ekugcineni wazizwa ephuma egobolondweni lakhe.

Ukuthatha Ukuxhumeka Kwayo Ku-inthanethi

Ekhuthazwe yilo muzwa omusha womphakathi, uSabourin wabe esezizwa egqugquzelekile ukuthi abe khonaUmumo I-Body Shop, umcimbi we-studio we-pop-up waminyaka yonke eLos Angeles ohlinzeka ngamakilasi amaningi wokuzivocavoca afundiswa izinkanyezi zokuzivocavoca ezinjengeWiderstrom, uJenny Gaither, u-Anna Victoria, nokuningi.

Kepha bekungeyona ngempela into yokuqina komzimba weSitolo Somzimba ebikhanga uSabourin — okungenani, hhayi ekuqaleni. Empeleni bekuyithemba lokuhlangana nomunye wabakwa-Goal Crushers, ogama lakhe linguJanelle, IRL. Uyabona, uJanelle uhlala eCanada futhi uzobe ethatha uhambo lokuya e-Body Shop e-LA, eduzane naseSabourin. Lapho uSabourin esebonile ukuthi wayenethuba lokuhlangana nomngane osondelene naye online, wazi ukuthi wayengeke akudlulise-noma ngabe lokho kwakusho ukubhekana nokwesaba kwakhe okukhulu.

"Kuba nzima kakhulu uma usuka ekuhlukaniseni kuya kulokho enginakho manje."

UDawn Sabourin

Kuyavunywa, umqondo wokuhlangana nabantu ongabazi emcimbini omkhulu weqembu—ikakhulukazi uma kubhekwa yena kuphela nje waqala ukuzilolonga futhi wayengakushiyi ukunethezeka kwekhaya lakhe isikhathi esiningi seshumi leminyaka—wafaka ifindo esiswini sika-Sabourin. Kepha uthi wabona sekuyisikhathi sokuthi aphume ngempela endaweni yakhe yokunethezeka. "Wonke umuntu ubenenhlonipho enkulu [kwiGoal Crushers] kangangoba ngivele ngathatha isinqumo sokuthatha ithuba," kuchaza yena. "Ungasho ukuthi bengingafuni ukujika [ngiye ekhaya], kodwa kuvele kwabonakala njengesikhathi nendawo efanele." (Okuhlobene: Ukuqina Kweqembu Akuyona Into Yakho? Lokhu Kungachaza Kungani)

Yilapho uSabourin ahlangana khona noWiderstrom. Ngokobuchwepheshe laba besifazane bobabili babazana ngokubandakanyeka kukaSabourin kwiGoal-Crushers Facebook Group, nayo iWiderstrom ebamba iqhaza kuyo. Kodwa noma kunjalo, uWiderstrom uthi uqaphele ukuthi ekuqaleni uSabourin wayemqaphile. "Ngangikhumbula igama lakhe, kodwa angikaze ngazi ukuthi wayebukeka kanjani ngoba akazange afake isithombe sephrofayela," kusho lo mqeqeshi Umumo. "Kwakungulo muntu we-Dawn othi, ngezikhathi ezithile, 'athande' isithombe [eqenjini likaFacebook]. Wayethembisene umshado, kodwa wayengakaze abe nezwi. Ngangingazi ukuthi kwenzekani engqondweni yakhe. Kimi, wayenguDawn nje nesithombe sephrofayili esingenalutho. Ngokusobala, kunendaba enkulu engingazange ngiyibone ngaleso sikhathi. "

USabourin uthi ukusekelwa nguWiderstrom okwamsiza wakwazi ukudlula kulo mcimbi ngalolo suku — isigaba sokuqala sokuzivocavoca seqembu njalo iqhaza. "Lapho uDawn ethola ukwesekwa kwangempela kubantu bangempela, yilapho izinto zaqala khona ukushintsha kuye," kusho u-Widerstrom.

Ukuzikhandla Ngokwedlulele

Ngemuva kwalolo suku e-Body Shop, uSabourin uthi uzizwe egqugquzelekile ukuthi aqhubeke nomfutho. Uthathe isinqumo sokujoyina inselelo yamaviki ayisithupha yokunciphisa isisindo ejimini yangakini eCalifornia. Uthi: “Ngilahle amakhilogremu angama-22 ngaqhubeka,” "Ngisasebenza kuleyo jimi. Ngithole abangani abamangalisayo lapho abangangenzela noma yini, nami ngibenzela bona. Kuba nzima kakhulu uma usuka ekubeni wedwa uye kulokhu enginakho manje."

Indaba ka-Sabourin ingase ihlanganise izibalo ezihlaba umxhwele zokwehla kwesisindo (sekukonke, ulahlekelwe ngamakhilogremu angu-88 cishe ngonyaka owodwa), kodwa u-Widerstrom ukholelwa ukuthi ukuguqulwa kwakhe kujula kakhulu kunalokho. "Umzimba, nganoma yiluphi uhlobo lokunakekelwa okungaguquguquki, uzoshintsha," esho. "Ngakho-ke ukuguquka komzimba kaDawn kubonakala kakhulu. Ushintsho olukhulu kakhulu ukuthi ubani amethulayo futhi aphila njengaye. Ukuziphatha kwakhe yikho okuqhakaza; umuntu. Ekugcineni ukhulula uDawn." (Okuhlobene: Engifisa Ukuthi Bengizokwazi Ngokushesha Ngokulahlekelwa Isisindo)

Isikhathi esichazayo soshintsho kwaba lapho uSabourin (ekugcineni) enza isithombe sephrofayela ye-Facebook, wabelana ngeWiderstrom-hhayi nje noma yisiphi isithombe sephrofayela. Ukhethe isithombe esithathwe eShape Body Shop.

Isithombe sephrofayela singase singasho kangako kubantu abaningi. Kodwa ku-Widerstrom, imele umuzwa omusha ka-Sabourin wokuzicabangela yena yedwa. "Kwakusho ukuziqhenya: 'Ngizizwa ngiziqhenya ngami, ngizizwa ngikhululekile ukwabelana ngalesi sikhathi esibalulekile nanoma ngubani obukayo,'" kuchaza umqeqeshi wencazelo ejulile yesithombe.

Lapho uSabourin ebuyela eShape Body Shop kulo nyaka, wamangazwa ukuthi uzizwe ekhululeke kangakanani ngokwesibili ezungeze. “Ngonyaka odlule, bengizama nje ukuphumelela,” usho kanje. "Kulo nyaka, ngizwe kakhulu njengengxenye yawo."

Ukubheka Phambili kokuthi Okulandelayo

Kusukela lapho, uSabourin uthi uqhubeka nokuzivocavoca umzimba njalo, ikakhulukazi emakilasini okuzivocavoca eqembu lakhe ejimini yangakini. “Ngiyethemba ukuthi ngizokwakhela phezu [kwendlela yami yokuzivocavoca],” usho kanje. "Kodwa [ukuzivocavoca] yinto engaguquguquki empilweni yami. Ngingahle ngibe nosuku olwesabekayo futhi ngingalokothi ngivuke embhedeni - namanje, ngezinsuku ezithile. Kodwa ngiyaqhubeka nokuzivocavoca ngoba yinjongo engisebenza kuyo manje . Angazi ukuthi ngizophelelaphi nokuthi inhloso yami izoba yini [ngokuzayo], kodwa kuyitshe lokunyathela ngethemba lokungena kabusha kuyo yonke impilo. "

KuSabourin, uthi ukuqina kweqembu kumxhumanisa neqiniso futhi kumkhumbuza konke akwaziyo lapho ezibeka emsebenzini. "Kungikhuthaza ukuthi ngiphume ngibhekane nokunye ngokuhamba kosuku, enye into empilweni, ngithole okunye okufeziwe." (Okuhlobene: Izinzuzo Ezinkulu Kakhulu Zengqondo Nomzimba Zokusebenza)

I-Widerstrom ibhekisa kulokhu okufeziwe njenge- "reps of life." "Lezi yizintatheli esizithatha njengabantu ekuziphatheni kwethu ukuqala ukuzikhiphela lapho," kuchaza yena. "Kumele sizijwayeze ukwenza lokhu. Kudingeka siphume siye khona, sidinga ukukuzama, futhi sizofunda okuningi ngalokho esikwenzayo, ukuthi siyakuthanda, noma asikuthandi. Izikhathi eziyisishiyagalolunye kokungu-10, izinto azihambi ngendlela ebesicabanga ukuthi zizohamba ngayo, kodwa sisathanda lokho okuhlangenwe nakho. Sizizwa siziqhenya; sizizwa sinolwazi; kukhona izinga lomsebenzi. "

Ngokuqondene nokuthi yini elandelayo, uSabourin uthi akanawo "umgomo wokugcina" engqondweni. Esikhundleni salokho, ugxile ekuthatheni izinyathelo ezincane zokuhlangana nabantu abaningi, ukuzama ukusebenzisa okusha, nokuzikhandla edlula imingcele yakhe ayibonayo.

Kepha uma kukhona into eyodwa ayifundile kulo lonke lolu phiko, ukubaluleka kokwenza izinto ezikwesabisayo. "Angicabangi ukuthi kukhona okukhulu okungafezwa ngaphandle kokuthi uzikhiphele endaweni okhululekile kuyo," kusho uSabourin. "Uvele ubhajwe emgudwini. Ngakho-ke ngizoqhubeka ngicindezele, futhi sizobona ukuthi kwenzekani ngokulandelayo. Angazi ukuthi unyaka olandelayo uphetheni, kodwa ngiyethemba ukuthi ngithola okungenani uhhafu ngalokho engikufezile kulo nyaka. Ngingajabula ngalokho."

Buyekeza kwe-