Yiba Isilaleli Esizwelayo ku-Izinyathelo eziyi-10

-Delile

• 1. Lungisa ukukhuluma komzimba wakho
• 2. Sula iziphazamiso
• 3.Lalela ngaphandle kokwahlulela
• 4. Ungakwenzi ngawe
• 5. Yiba khona
• 6. Naka izinkomba ezingasho lutho
• 7. Gwema ukunikeza izixazululo
• 8. Ungakudicileli phansi ukukhathazeka kwabo
• 9. Cabanga ngemizwa yabo
• 10. Ungakhathazeki ngokuthola iphutha

Ukulalela okunamandla, kwesinye isikhathi okubizwa ngokuthi ukulalela okusebenzayo noma ukulalela okubonisayo, kudlulela ngalé kokunaka nje. Imayelana nokwenza umuntu azizwe evunyelwe futhi ebonwa.

Uma kwenziwe kahle, ukulalela ngozwela kungakhulisa ukuxhumana kwakho futhi kunikeze abanye umuzwa wokuthi bangababo lapho bekhuluma nawe. Kungcono kakhulu? Kuyinto elula ukuyifunda nokuyisebenzisa.

1. Lungisa ukukhuluma komzimba wakho

Isinyathelo sokuqala ekukhombiseni umuntu ukuthi umnake ngokugcwele ukubhekana naye nokugcina ukubonana ngamehlo ngokukhululeka.

Imvamisa, lapho othile ekhuluma nathi, singazi sivele sifulathele kubo bese silungiselela uhlu lwethu lokudla noma sicabange ngezindawo esifuna ukuya kuzo esidlweni sakusihlwa. Kepha ukulalela okuzwelayo kuhilela umzimba wonke.

Cabanga umngani wakho osondele kakhulu ekhombisa usuku lwakho lwasemini ekhala. Ungamcela ngokunganaki ukuthi kwenzenjani ehlombe lakho? Amathuba ukuthi, ungaphenduka ngokushesha ubhekane naye. Hlela ukwenza okufanayo kunoma iyiphi ingxoxo.

2. Sula iziphazamiso

Sivame ukubanjwa izingcingo zethu esingazi lapho umuntu ophambi kwethu ezama ukuxhuma okunenjongo.

Esikhundleni sokuphendula imiyalezo futhi unqekuzise ikhanda uhambisana nakho konke okushiwo umlingani wakho, beka wonke amadivayisi kude bese ubacela ukuthi benze okufanayo. Ngokususa iziphazamiso, ningagxila komunye nomunye futhi nibe khona ngokwengeziwe.

3.Lalela ngaphandle kokwahlulela

Kunzima ngabantu ukuxhuma ngokweqiniso uma bezizwa behlulelwa. Ukugwema lokhu, khumbula lapho ubalalela futhi ugweme ukuphendula ngokungavumelani noma ukugxeka noma ngabe awuhambisani nalokho abakushoyo wena uqobo.

Ithi umngane wakho uthululela isifuba kuwe sokuthi banezinkinga ebudlelwaneni babo. Esikhundleni sokuvele ungene ngokushesha kulokho ocabanga ukuthi bakwenza kabi ebudlelwaneni, iya kokuthile ngokuthi, "Ngiyaxolisa kakhulu ukuzwa lokho, kumele ube nengcindezi enkulu njengamanje."

Lokhu akusho ukuthi awukwazi ukunikeza iziphakamiso, ikakhulukazi uma bezicela. Musa nje ukukwenza uma udlala indawo yomlaleli.

4. Ungakwenzi ngawe

Zama ukumelana nokutshela umbono wakho lapho babelana nawe okuthile okubalulekile.

Uma othile esanda kulahlekelwa yisihlobo, isibonelo, ungaphenduli ngokusho ukulahlekelwa kwakho. Esikhundleni salokho, bakhombise ukuthi uyabakhatha ngokubuza umbuzo wokulandela mayelana nolwazi lwabo noma umane ubanikeze ukusekelwa kwakho.

Nazi izimpendulo ezihloniphayo ongazizama:

• “Ngiyaxolisa kakhulu ngokulahleka kwakho. Ngiyazi ukuthi ubathanda kangakanani. ”
• “Ngitshele kabanzi ngomama wakho.”
• "Angikwazi ukuqonda ukuthi uzizwa kanjani, kodwa ngilapha lapho ungidinga khona."

5. Yiba khona

Lapho omunye umuntu ekhuluma, gwema ukucabanga ngalokho ozokusho ngokulandelayo noma ukumphazamisa. Yehlisa izinto phansi bese ulinda ikhefu engxoxweni ngaphambi kokuthi ungene.

Zama ukugxila futhi uthwebule abakushoyo ukukusiza ukuthi uhlale uqaphile kuma-convos amade.

6. Naka izinkomba ezingasho lutho

Ungalaleli nje ngezindlebe zakho.

Ungabona uma umuntu ezizwa ejabule, ecasukile, noma ekhungathekile ngokunaka ulimi lomzimba wakhe nethoni yezwi. Qaphela isisho esizungeze amehlo abo, umlomo nokuthi bahleli kanjani.

Uma amahlombe omlingani wakho ewile ngenkathi bekutshela ngosuku lwabo, ngokwesibonelo, bangahle badinge ukuxhaswa okwengeziwe.

7. Gwema ukunikeza izixazululo

Ngenxa yokuthi othile wabelana ngezinkinga zakhe, akusho ukuthi ufuna iseluleko ngokubuyisela. Khumbula ukuthi abantu abaningi bafuna ukuqinisekiswa nokwesekwa futhi ngokunokwenzeka ngeke babe nentshisekelo yokuzwa izixazululo okufanele uzinikeze (noma ngabe banezinhloso ezinhle kangakanani).

Uma umngani wakho esanda kulahlekelwa ngumsebenzi futhi efuna ukukhipha, ngokwesibonelo, gwema ngokushesha ukuphakamisa izindawo abangathumela kuzo ukuqhubeka kwabo (unganikeza lolu lwazi ngokuhamba kwesikhathi uma beveza intshisekelo). Esikhundleni salokho, bayeke baphathe ingxoxo futhi banikeze ukufaka kwakho kuphela uma kubuzwa.

8. Ungakudicileli phansi ukukhathazeka kwabo

Ukulalela okungu-empathic kusho ukwazi ngesikhathi sezingxoxo ezingakhululekile futhi ungaphiki ukukhathazeka komunye umuntu noma izinkathazo zakhe.

Noma izingqinamba zabo zibonakala zincane kuwe, ukwamukela imizwa yabo kungabenza bazizwe belalelwa futhi baqinisekisiwe.

9. Cabanga ngemizwa yabo

Lapho ulalele, kubalulekile ukukhombisa ukuthi ukuqondile lokho omunye umuntu azama ukukutshela khona. Lokhu kusho ukunqekuzisa ikhanda nokunikeza impendulo ngokukhumbula imininingwane nangokuphinda amaphuzu abalulekile abuyele kubo.

Ukukhombisa ubufakazi bokuthi ulalele, zama imishwana elandelayo:

• “Kumelwe ukuba ujabule kakhulu!”
• "Kubukeka njengesimo esinzima leso."
• "Ngiyakuqonda ukuthi uzizwa kabi."

10. Ungakhathazeki ngokuthola iphutha

Akekho umuntu ophelele. Ungaba nezikhathi engxoxweni lapho ungaqiniseki ngokuthi wenzeni noma uthini. Futhi kwesinye isikhathi, ungasho into engalungile. Wonke umuntu wenza ngesikhathi esithile.

Esikhundleni sokukhathazeka ngokuthi ulalele kahle noma uphendula kahle, gxila ekuzigcineni ukhona. Kaningi kunabantu, abantu bamane bafuna ukuzwakala nokuqondwa.

UCindy Lamothe yintatheli ezimele ezinze eGuatemala. Ubhala kaningi ngemiphambanandlela phakathi kwezempilo, inhlalakahle, nesayensi yokuziphatha komuntu. Ubhalelwe i-The Atlantic, New York Magazine, Teen Vogue, Quartz, The Washington Post, nezinye eziningi. Mthole ku-cindylamothe.com.