Indaba Enkulu Kakhulu Yocansi Akekho Okhuluma Ngayo

-Delile

• Kuyini Ukungasebenzi Kwezocansi Kwabesifazane?
• Izimpawu zeTelltale
• Ukuwa okuvela ku-HSDD
• Kungani KuyiTaboo Engaka
• Kepha Kuthiwani Uma Upholile Ngokungayi ocansini?
• Ungabhekana Kanjani Uma Ucabanga Ukuthi Ungaba ne-HSDD
• Buyekeza kwe-

Uma kuziwa ocansini, cishe ufunda futhi uzwe okuningi mayelana nezikhundla ezintsha ongazizama, ubuchwepheshe bakamuva bamathoyizi ocansi, kanye nendlela yokuba ne-orgasm engcono. Yinye into ongayizwa okuningi ngayo? Abesifazane - ikakhulukazi abesifazane abasebancane - abangekho ngempela abathanda ukuya ocansini. Iningi labantu liyazi ukuthi kujwayelekile ukuthi ushintsho lwamahomoni ludideke nge-sex drive ngesikhathi sokuya esikhathini, kepha bewazi ukuthi idrayivu yocansi ephansi empeleni ivame kakhulu kwabesifazane be-premenopausal, futhi? Ocwaningweni lwakamuva olwenziwe yi-American Sexual Health Association (ASHA) ngokusekelwa yiValeant, inkampani eyenza imithi, amaphesenti angama-48 abesifazane besifazane abangaphambi kokuya esikhathini (abaneminyaka engama-21 kuya kwengama-49) bathe ukuqhuba kwabo ucansi sekuphansi manje kunakuqala. Uyahlanya, akunjalo? Akubona abesifazane abangakaze babe nesifiso socansi. Bangabantu abanendlela ethile elahlekile it. Futhi uma cishe uhhafu wabesifazane abakule minyaka yobudala behlangabezana nalesi simo, kungani singasakhulumi ngaso kakhulu? Asiqale i-convo manje.

Kuyini Ukungasebenzi Kwezocansi Kwabesifazane?

Ngokungafani nokungasebenzi kahle kwe-erectile, okuyinto wonke umuntu azi ngayo (ngiyabonga, izikhangiso zeViagra), ukungasebenzi kahle kwabesifazane ngokocansi (FSD) akuxoxwa ngakho kabanzi. Nokho amaphesenti angu-40 abesifazane azophathwa yiso ngandlela thize phakathi nezimpilo zabo, ngokusho kocwaningo olushicilelwe ku I-American Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology. Kunezinhlobo eziningana ze-FSD, okuhlanganisa nezinkinga zesifiso, ukuvuswa kwenkanuko, i-orgasm, nobuhlungu, ngokusho kochwepheshe bokusondelana nezocansi u-Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D., umbhali kanye noprofesa wesayensi yezokuhlalisana kwabantu eNyuvesi yaseWashington. Nakuba zonke lezi zinkinga zibalulekile ukubhekana nazo lapho ziphakama, ukuntuleka kwesifiso sobulili, okubizwa nangokuthi i-hypoactive sex desire disorder (HSDD), yikona okuvame kakhulu, okuthinta cishe abesifazane abayizigidi ezingu-4 eMelika.

Izimpawu zeTelltale

Uma uzibuza ukuthi yini eyenza i-HSDD ihluke ekubeni nje "ingabi semoyeni," kunendlela ecacile yokusho. "Umkhondo omkhulu ukuthi uyaphikelela," kuchaza uSchwartz. Nakuba wonke umuntu eba nokunyuka nokwehla kanye neziqubu zokuzizwa enamahloni futhi engenjalo-ngisho isikhathi sezinyanga ezimbalwa-ezihamba izinyanga nezinyanga ngesikhathi ngaphandle kokufuna ukuya ocansini kuyinkomba ecacile yokuthi kukhona okungahambi kahle, uthi. Vele, izinto ezinjengokuxineka, izinkinga zobudlelwano, izingqinamba zomsebenzi, ukugula, kanye nemithi kungaba nomthelela ku-sex drive yakho, ngakho-ke ukukhipha lezo zinto yingxenye enkulu yokuthola ukuxilongwa. Kepha uSchwartz uyachaza ukuthi "uma ubona ukuthi ukuvusa inkanuko futhi bayakufisa esetshenzisiwe ukuzwa ukuthi akusekho futhi kuyaqhubeka kwenzeka futhi uya ucindezeleka kakhulu ngakho, sekuyisikhathi sokuthi uyokhuluma nomhlinzeki wezempilo futhi ubatshele ukuthi benze uhlu lokuhlola emtholampilo ukuze babone ukuthi yini engalungile."

Ukuwa okuvela ku-HSDD

Ngokusobala, i-HSDD iyayithinta impilo yakho yezocansi, kepha ingangena nakwezinye izingxenye zempilo yabesifazane, yingakho kubaluleke kangaka ukuqwashisa ngayo, kusho uSchwartz. "Ubulili bethu abungeni ebhokisini elincane elimnyama olifaka ekhabetheni ulikhiphe uphinde ulikhiphe. Kuyingxenye yalokho esiyikho futhi kuyingxenye yendlela esizizwa ngayo ngathi," usho kanje. Kunezinto ezimbili eziyinhloko ezenzekayo lapho owesifazane ene-HSDD, ngokusho kukaSchwartz. Okokuqala, ukuzethemba kwakhe kungase kwehle ngoba angase acabange ukuthi kukhona okungalungile ngaye nokuthi lokho abhekana nakho akujwayelekile neze, noma okubi nakakhulu, iphutha lakhe. Okwesibili, kungathinta ubudlelwano besifazane (uma ekomunye), futhi kungenze umlingani wakhe angabaze ukufisa kwakhe. Uma ukuzethemba kwakho nobudlelwano bakho kungavikelekile, kungathinta yonke into kusukela emsebenzini kuye kubangani, kubangele okungaphezu kokuhlala ucansi njalo. (I-FYI, imvamisa, abesifazane bazizwa be-horny ngehora elihluke ngokuphelele kunelamadoda.)

Kungani KuyiTaboo Engaka

Ucwaningo lwe-ASHA luthole ukuthi amaphesenti angama-82 abesifazane abahlangabezana nemibandela ye-FSD bakholelwa ukuthi kufanele babone umhlinzeki wezokunakekelwa kwezempilo, kepha amaphesenti ama-4 kuphela aphumile ayokhuluma nochwepheshe ngakho. Uma abesifazane kholwa badinga usizo, kungani bengalutholi?

Hhayi-ke, * kungenzeka ihlangane nokuthi ucansi luvezwa kanjani futhi lubhekwe kanjani emphakathini wanamuhla. "Ngezinye izikhathi ucansi luyinkimbinkimbi kakhulu kunalolo esilunikeza lona, ​​ikakhulukazi manje njengoba sinemvume yokuba nobulili," kusho uSchwartz. Kuyamangalisa ukuthi abantu bavulekele kakhulu ngobulili babo kunanini ngaphambili, kepha lokhu kungashiya abesifazane abanokukhubazeka ngokocansi bezizwa behlukanisiwe. "Sitshela abantu ukuthi ucansi luyamangalisa futhi lwenza lubukeke lula. Sinezibonelo ezifana nalezi Ama-50 Shades eGrey, lapho othile ephumelela kakhulu ekujabuleleni ubulili futhi lokho kuvele kwenza abesifazane ababhekene nalolu daba bazizwe babi nakakhulu uma kungeyona into eyenzeka kubo,” usho kanje. Lokhu kwenza abantu bangabi namathuba okukhuluma ngakho.

Ngaphezu kwalokho, kwabesifazane abasebudlelwaneni obunzima, ukukhuluma ngempilo yabo yezocansi kungahluka ekukhulumeni ngempilo yezocansi ngenkathi bethandana. "Abasakhulumi nezintombi zabo ngezocansi njengoba bebejwayele ukwenza ngoba bekhathazekile ngokuthi ngeke babonakale 'njengejwayelekile' futhi bavikela nozakwabo," kusho uSchwartz. "Abafuni ibhizinisi labo elithinta imizwa nelocansi laziwe ngoba balibona njengelingathembekile." Yingakho u-Schwartz ehlangene no-ASHA bakha i-FindMySpark, isiza esivumela abesifazane ukuthi bangagcini nje ngokufunda ngezimpawu, izimpawu, nokwelashwa kwe-FSD kodwa futhi baxhumane futhi bafunde izindaba ezivela kwabanye abadlula entweni efanayo. “Lapho sikhuluma kakhulu ngakho, kuba ngcono,” kusho yena. "Kukhona ukucwaswa, futhi kumele silwe nakho."

Kepha Kuthiwani Uma Upholile Ngokungayi ocansini?

Ngakho-ke ungahle uzibuze, "Kuthiwani ngabesifazane abangafuni nje ukuya ocansini futhi baphile ngokuphelele nalo?" Ukucaca, ukwenza i-asexual noma ukuthatha ikhefu ngokucophelela kokuya ocansini akuyona into efanayo ne-HSDD. Izimpawu ezimbili zesiyaluyalu zinesifiso esincane socansi kunangaphambili (okusho ukuthi ubujwayele ukuba nesifiso socansi) futhi ukucasulwa noma ukukhathazeka ngakho. Ngakho-ke uma ungayi ocansini futhi ujabule ngokuphelele ngakho, asikho isizathu sokuxakwa ukuthi kukhona okungahambi kahle.

Ngaphezu kwalokho, kufanele kuvunywe ukuthi akuyona into exakile ngempela uma ungafuni ukuya ocansini kakhulu nomlingani wakho, ikakhulukazi uma umlingani wakho kungowesilisa. Kunezindlela eziningi ezibalulekile ezahluke ngazo ezocansi zowesifazane nowesilisa. Kuvame ukucatshangwa ukuthi abesifazane nabesilisa kufanele bafune ukuya ocansini nemvamisa efanayo, kepha ngenxa yezimo ezahlukahlukene ezingokwengqondo nezomzimba, akunjalo ngaso sonke isikhathi. Isayensi ikhombisa ukuthi yize ukushayela kwabantu besilisa nabesilisa kungaba namandla noma kungancikile kuye ngomuntu, ezimweni eziningi, amadoda acabanga ngocansi kakhulu, abesifazane bathambekele kakhulu ekuziphatheni ngokocansi, futhi inqubo yengqondo abesifazane abadlula kuyo ukuze bavuke ihlukile kunaleyo cubungula amadoda adlule. Lo mehluko ngokwemvelo udala ukungahambelani kokushayela kwabesifazane nabesilisa, ngakho-ke ngenkathi ukuwaqhathanisa kungahle kube yisilingo, akusizi ngalutho.

Yingakho u-Schwartz egcizelela ukuthi uma kuziwa ezikhathini eziningi zocansi, "Ayikho inombolo evamile kuwo wonke umuntu. Abantu babheka lezi zilinganiso zokuthi bangaki abanye benza ucansi ukuze bathole ukuqinisekiswa noma ukukala okuthile mayelana nempilo yabo yocansi futhi Angicabangi ukuthi lokho kusiza kakhulu, "usho kanje. Kepha ukubona ukuthi uwa ekugcineni okuphansi kakhulu kwe-spectrum futhi ukuzizwa uphatheke kabi ngakho kungaba yinkomba yokuthi kukhona okwenzekayo.

Ungabhekana Kanjani Uma Ucabanga Ukuthi Ungaba ne-HSDD

Ngaphezu kwanoma yini, ukukhuluma nodokotela noma omunye uchwepheshe wezokwelapha onethezekile naye kuyisinyathelo sokuqala esihle sokubuyisela emuva ubulili bakho. Kunezinhlobo eziningi zezinketho zokwelashwa kusuka ekushintsheni imishanguzo yakho yamanje, ukuthatha okusha, ukuzama ukwelashwa ngokocansi. Ekupheleni kosuku, okubaluleke kakhulu ukwenza i-FSD ibe ngokwejwayelekile kuze kube yilapho abesifazane bezizwa bekhululekile ukuyiveza nabahlinzeki babo bezempilo. Ngemuva kwakho konke, impilo yakho yezocansi ithinta zonke izingxenye zempilo yakho, ngokungafani nempilo yakho yengqondo kanye nempilo yomzimba isiyonke. Ungesabi ukukunaka.

Buyekeza kwe-