Uyini umehluko phakathi kokuzwa nokulalela?

-Delile

• Ukuchaza ukuzwa kuqhathaniswa nokulalela
• Kusho ukuthini ukuba ngumlaleli okhuthele noma ongenzi lutho?
• Ungaba kanjani isilaleli esikhuthele kangcono
• 1. Yiba nelukuluku
• 2. Buza imibuzo emihle
• 3. Ungagxili engxoxweni ngokushesha okukhulu
• 4. Zibophele endabeni futhi ungaphazamiseki
• 5. Yekani ukwakha izindaba
• 6. Ungenzi into enkulu ngokungahambi kahle
• Ungumlaleli onjani?
• Ukuthatha

Ukubuka konke

Wake wezwa othile ethi: "Kungenzeka ukuthi uyangizwa, kodwa awungilaleli"?

Uma ujwayelene naleyo nkulumo, kunethuba elihle lokuthi wazi into eyodwa noma ezimbili ngomehluko phakathi kokuzwa nokulalela.

Ngenkathi ukuzwa nokulalela kungabonakala sengathi kusebenza inhloso efanayo, umehluko phakathi kwalokhu kubaluleke kakhulu. Sizobheka okunye umehluko omkhulu, futhi sizokwabelana ngamathiphu wokuthi ungawathuthukisa kanjani amakhono akho okulalela asebenzayo.

Ukuchaza ukuzwa kuqhathaniswa nokulalela

Incazelo yokuzwa ihlobene kakhulu nesenzo somzimba semisindo yokuzwa kunalokho okwenza ngokunengqondo nokuxhumana nomuntu okhuluma nawe.

UMerriam-Webster uchaza ukuzwa “njengenqubo, umsebenzi, noma amandla okubona umsindo; ikakhulukazi: umqondo okhethekile otholwa ngayo imisindo namathoni njengesikhuthazi. ”

Ukulalela, ngakolunye uhlangothi, kusho “ukunaka umsindo; ukuzwa okuthile ngokunaka okucabangayo; nokucabangela. ”

Isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo emtholampilo uKevin Gilliland, iPsyD, sithi umehluko phakathi kwalezi zinto ubusuku nemini.

"Ukuzwa kufana nokuqoqa idatha," kuchaza yena.

Isenzo sokuzwa silula futhi siyisisekelo. Ukulalela, ngakolunye uhlangothi, kulu-ntathu. "Abantu abenza kahle emsebenzini, noma emshadweni noma ebunganeni, yibo abaye baqinisa ikhono labo lokulalela," kusho uGilliland.

Kusho ukuthini ukuba ngumlaleli okhuthele noma ongenzi lutho?

Uma kukhulunywa ngencazelo yokulalela, singakudiliza isinyathelo esisodwa phambili. Ezweni lezokuxhumana, kunamagama amabili ochwepheshe abavame ukuwasebenzisa: ukulalela okusebenzayo kanye nokwenziwa.

Ukulalela okusebenzayo kungafingqwa ngegama elilodwa: ukwazi. I-United States Institute of Peace ichaza ukulalela ngenkuthalo “njengendlela yokulalela nokuphendula omunye umuntu okuthuthukisa ukuzwana.”

Ngamanye amagama, le yindlela ofuna ukulalela ngayo uma ufuna ukuqonda omunye umuntu noma ufuna isisombululo.

Ngakolunye uhlangothi lwe-spectrum yokulalela ukulalela okungahleliwe.

Isilaleli esingenzi lutho, ngokusho kukaGilliland, yisilaleli esingazami ukufaka isandla engxoxweni - ikakhulukazi emsebenzini noma esikoleni. Akuyona indlela enhle yokuxhumana nabantu. Kungakho uGilliland ethi ungayisebenzisi noshade naye noma izingane zakho ngoba bazobona ngokushesha okukhulu.

Ungaba kanjani isilaleli esikhuthele kangcono

Manje njengoba usuwazi umehluko phakathi kokulalela okungahleliwe nokusebenzayo, ungahle ube nentshisekelo yokufunda ukuthi ungawathuthukisa kanjani amakhono akho okulalela asebenzayo.

IGilliland yabelana ngamathiphu ayisithupha ongawasebenzisa ukuthuthukisa amakhono akho okulalela asebenzayo.

1. Yiba nelukuluku

Isilaleli esisebenzayo sinentshisekelo yangempela futhi sifisa ukuqonda okushiwoyo. Uma uzijwayeza ukulalela okusebenzayo, unentshisekelo yokulalela okushiwo omunye umuntu, kunokuba wakhe impendulo yakho.

2. Buza imibuzo emihle

Lokhu kungaba yithiphu ekhohlisayo, ikakhulukazi uma ungazi ukuthi iyini incazelo yombuzo omuhle. Ngenhloso yokulalela okusebenzayo, ufuna ukugwema ukubuza imibuzo yohlobo yebo / cha, evaliwe.

Esikhundleni salokho, gxila kwimibuzo emema abantu ukuthi bachaze kabanzi. Cela imininingwane engaphezulu nokucaciselwa. "Lapho silalela, imizwa iyabandakanyeka, futhi siludinga kakhulu ulwazi oluningi ngangokunokwenzeka uma sifuna ukuhambisa izinto phambili" kuchaza uGilliland.

3. Ungagxili engxoxweni ngokushesha okukhulu

Ukuxhumana akudingeki kube ngejubane lokurekhoda. Uma ukhuluma nothile, cabanga ukwehlisa ingxoxo. "Sivame ukugcina siphikisana lapho sizama ukujaha, futhi akukho ukujaha lapho sidinga ukulalela," kusho uGilliland.

4. Zibophele endabeni futhi ungaphazamiseki

"Uma uzama ukuba nohlobo lwengxoxo lapho ukulalela kubalulekile, ungahambi emizileni kanogwaja," kusho uGilliland. Ngamanye amagama, gwema ukulahla izihloko ezingahlobene noma ukuthukwa ukuze uphazamise isihloko osikhulumayo, ikakhulukazi uma sinzima.

Ukugwema ukwenza lokhu, uGilliland uncoma ukuthi ungawunaki umsindo futhi uzimiselele ngokwakho kusizathu sokuthi uqale ingxoxo ize iphele.

5. Yekani ukwakha izindaba

Wake waba sengxoxweni nomunye umuntu lapho uzizwa khona ukuthi kunemininingwane eminingi engekho?

Ngeshwa, lapho singenalo lonke ulwazi, kusho uGilliland, sivame ukugcwalisa izikhala. Futhi lapho senza lokho, sihlala sikwenza ngendlela engeyinhle. Yingakho ethi ayeke ukukwenza bese ubuyela ekubuzeni imibuzo emihle.

6. Ungenzi into enkulu ngokungahambi kahle

Uma ulungile ekuvumeni iphutha, lokhu kufanele kube ithiphu elilula kuwe. Kodwa-ke, uma ukutshela umuntu ukuthi unephutha kuyindawo olwa nayo, ukulalela okusebenzayo kungaba nzima kuwe.

Esikhundleni sokutshala imali kakhulu ekulungeni, zama ukuvuma lapho wenze iphutha. UGilliland uthi kulula njengokuthi “Okubi kwami, benginephutha ngalokho. Ngiyaxolisa."

Ungumlaleli onjani?

Abangane bakho abaseduze nomndeni wakho bazi kangcono kakhulu. Ngakho-ke, uma ufuna ukwazi ngohlobo lomlaleli oyikho, buza umuntu osondelene kakhulu nawe. UGilliland uncoma ukubabuza ukuthi yiziphi izinhlobo zamaphutha owenzayo lapho ubalalela.

Uthi futhi ubabuze imibuzo ngezindawo ongazithola ungcono kuzo. Uma lo kungumuntu ochitha isikhathi esiningi naye, ungababuza ukuthi ngabe kunezihloko ezithile noma izihloko obonakala ulwa kakhulu nazo.

Ngamanye amagama, babuze ukuthi ngabe kunezingxoxo noma izihloko ezithile lapho wehluleka khona ukujwayeza amakhono akho okulalela asebenzayo.

Ukuthatha

Ukulalela okusebenzayo kuyikhono lempilo yakho lonke elizokusiza kahle ebudlelwaneni bakho nabangane, umndeni, kanye nabantu osebenza nabo. Konke okudingekayo umzamo omncane, ukubekezela okuningi, nokuzimisela ukuba khona nomunye umuntu, futhi ube nentshisekelo yangempela kulokho abazokusho.