Izindlela ezi-5 Zokusekela Othandekayo Olwa Nokucindezeleka

-Delile

• 1. Funda
• 2. Zijwayeze ukuzinakekela
• 3. Babuze ukuthi yini abayidingayo
• 4. Ungabi ukuphela komthombo wokusekelwa
• 5. Ungagxeki noma uhlulele
• Buyekeza kwe-

Uma ufana nabesifazane abaningi, ufuna abantu obathandayo babone izingxenye ezinhle kakhulu zakho. Ngesikhathi ngisemncane, umama wenza lokho kanye. Wasifihlela zonke izinselele zakhe—kuhlanganise nokulwa kwakhe nokudangala. Wayeyikho konke kimi. Kwaze kwaba yilapho sengifikile ebudaleni lapho ngagcina ngiqala ukuqonda le ngxenye yakhe ayeyifihlile-futhi izindima zahlehliswa.

Lapho sengikhulile, ngabona njengoba ukucindezeleka kukamama kuba nzima ukukumela. Ekugcineni wazama ukuthatha impilo yakhe, futhi akekho noyedwa emndenini wami owabona kuza. Ukulandela umzamo wakhe, ngazizwa ngilahlekile, ngithukuthele futhi ngididekile. Ngiphuthelwe okuthile? Ngangingaqondi kanjani ukuthi izinto zazikhona ukuthi kubi? Yini enye ebengingayenza ukumsiza? Ngabhekana naleyo mibuzo isikhathi eside. Ngangifuna ukwazi ukuthi kukhona yini engangingakwenza ngendlela ehlukile. Bengifuna nokwazi ukuthi yini okudingeka ngiyenze ukuze ngiqhubekele phambili. Ngangesaba ukuthi uzophinde azithole ekule ndawo emnyama.

Eminyakeni kusukela azama ukuzibulala, bengilokhu ngiwumthombo oqhubekayo wokusekela umama, ngimsiza ukuba alawule impilo yakhe engokwengqondo nengokomzimba. Kodwa-ke, naphezu kokulandela kwakhe isifo sohlangothi, umdlavuza, nezinye izinkinga zempilo, impilo yakhe yengqondo iseyinselele enkulu yendida. Yikho okubangela thina nobabili ubuhlungu obukhulu.

Ngo-2015, amaphesenti angu-6.7 abantu abadala base-US babenesiqephu okungenani esisodwa esikhulu sokucindezeleka, ngokusho kweNational Institute of Mental Health. Futhi ukondla othandekayo ngokudangala akulula ngaso sonke isikhathi. Ungaba nobunzima bokuthola ukuthi yini okufanele uyisho noma uyenze. Ngalwa nakho lokho isikhathi esithile impela. Bengifuna ukumsiza, kepha bengingaqiniseki ukuthi kanjani. Kamuva, ngabona ukuthi kufanele funda ukuthi ungamthola kanjani.

Uma umuntu omthandayo elwa nokudangala, nazi izeluleko ezimbalwa zokukuhola.

1. Funda

"Awukwazi ukuxazulula inkinga uze wazi ukuthi inkinga ikuphi, ngakho ukuchaza udaba kusiza kakhulu," kusho uBergina Isbell, M.D., udokotela wezifo zengqondo ogunyazwe yibhodi. "Ukunquma ukuthi ingabe kumane nje kuwukudumala ngenxa yokudumazeka, ukudabuka ngenxa yothandekayo olahlekile, noma ukucindezeleka okungokomtholampilo kungathinta indlela yakho yokuphila." Ngakho-ke, okokuqala futhi okubaluleke kakhulu, "thola okwengeziwe mayelana nokuthi yini ekhathaza umngane wakho noma othandekayo," usho kanje. Uma kungukucindezeleka kwemitholampilo, ukuzifundisa kubaluleke kakhulu, kusho u-Indira Maharaj-Walls, uLMSW. Abantu ngokuvamile bacabanga ngokucindezeleka njengokudabuka okuhlala njalo, kodwa ngokuvamile abaqondi ukuthi ukucindezeleka kusebenza kanjani ngempela nokuthi kuyinselele kangakanani ukulwa; ulwazi luzosiza ukugwema imibono eyiphutha futhi likuvumele ukuthi unikeze ukwesekwa okwengeziwe, kusho uMaharaj-Walls.

I-Anxiety and Depression Association of America ingumthombo omkhulu wolwazi. UDkt Isbell ubuye aphakamise iMental Health America ukuthola eminye imininingwane esemthethweni mayelana nokudana, usizi, nezinye izinsiza zemfundo zezempilo yengqondo. (Okuhlobene: Ubuwazi ukuthi Kunezinhlobo Ezi-4 Ezihlukile Zokucindezeleka?)

2. Zijwayeze ukuzinakekela

"Ukukhathalela umuntu obhekene nokudangala kuyacindezela," kusho isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo uMayra Figueroa-Clark, i-LCSW. Ukuqinisekisa ukuthi uyakwazi ukuzinakekela njalo, uxhunywe nomphakathi wabantu abanomqondo ofanayo, futhi wazi ukuthi ungasho nini ukuthi "cha" empeleni Okuningi kubalulekile kunalokho ongakubona, kuchaza uFiriueroa-Clark. Lapho sifuna ukusiza abantu esibathandayo, kuvamile ukuba silahlekelwe umbono wethu ngezidingo zethu. Hlala wazi ukuthi ukuze unikeze usizo kumuntu omthandayo ngokweqiniso, kufanele ube semandleni akho - okusho ukuzinakekela lapho uludinga. (Okuhlobene: Ungasenza Kanjani Isikhathi Sokuzinakekela Uma Ungenayo)

3. Babuze ukuthi yini abayidingayo

Yize ukubuza umuntu abakudingayo kubonakala kulula ngokwanele, kuvame ukunganakwa ngabangane abafuna ukusiza. Iqiniso liwukuthi, unganikeza ukusekelwa okuhle kakhulu ngokumane ubuze umuntu omthandayo lokho akudingayo. “Ngakolunye uhlangothi, isimo sokugula kwabo singase sibenze bangabi nesiqiniseko sokuthi yini ezobasiza, kodwa ngezinye izikhathi, banganikeza ukuqonda kokuthi yini esiza futhi yini engabangeli umonakalo,” kusho uGlenna Anderson, LCSW. Kufanele unikeze othandekayo wakho ithuba lokwethembeka kuwe mayelana nalokho akudingayo futhi azimisele ukukufeza, noma ngabe wena ungacabangi ukuthi iyigugu noma yini obungayidinga esimweni esifanayo, u-Anderson uyachaza. Buza imibuzo futhi uzokwazi ukunikeza okudingeka kakhulu.

4. Ungabi ukuphela komthombo wokusekelwa

Eminyakeni edlule, lapho ngiqala ukuqonda ubunzima bokudangala kukamama, ngabona ukuthi ngangiwukuphela komthombo wokungeseka. Manje sengiyazi ukuthi leli lungiselelo belingenampilo kithi sobabili. Cabangela amaqembu asekelayo ngokusebenzisa iNational Alliance on Mental Illness,” kusho uDkt. Isbell. Banikela ngamaqembu emindeni ukuthi uzifundise ngokugula ngengqondo kanye namaqembu ontanga kulabo ababhekene nengcindezi ukusiza ukuqala inqubo yokuthola usizo, kuchaza uDkt Isbell. Kufanele futhi ube nomphakathi wabangani nomndeni ongakusiza weseke othandiweyo wakho. "Hlela umhlangano bese ubona ukuthi bakhona yini abanye abazokwenza izinto ezincane," kusho uFiriueroa-Clark. Konke kusukela ekungeneni ngocingo kuya ekulungiseni ukudla kuyasiza uma kuziwa ekusekeleni umngane odonsa kanzima, kuchaza u-Figueroa-Clark. Mane ukhumbule ukuthi akufanele kube nguwe wedwa onikeza lolu sizo. Noma umuntu olwa nokudangala kungumzali wakho noma oshade naye, awudingi ukwenza lokhu uwedwa. “Vula futhi utholakale ukuze ulalele, kodwa futhi ulinganisele lokhu ngokuzimisela ukubasiza ukuba bafinyelele usizo lochwepheshe,” kusho uDkt. Isbell.

5. Ungagxeki noma uhlulele

Ukugxeka noma ukwahlulela ngokuvamile kwenzeka ungahlosile, kodwa futhi kubangela umonakalo omkhulu. "Ungalokothi ugxeke noma unciphise imizwa yabo ngoba lokhu kuthanda ukwenza izinto zibe zimbi kakhulu," kusho uMaharaj-Walls. Kunalokho, gxila ekuboniseni uzwela. Uma uthatha isikhathi ukuzibeka ezicathulweni zomunye umuntu, lowo muntu uzokubheka njengomthombo ophephile wothando nokwesekwa. Lokhu akusho ukuthi udinga ukuvumelana nezinqumo abazenzile, kepha kufanele ubanikeze ithuba lokuthi babe sengozini ngaphandle kokukhathazeka ngempendulo engemihle evela kuwe, usho kanje. "Lalela ngendlebe enozwela," kusho uDkt. Isbell. "Impilo yomngani wakho ingabukeka iphelele ngaphandle, kepha awazi ukuthi bake babhekana nani phambilini noma babhekene nani manje." Izinto azibonakali njalo, ngakho-ke nikela ukwesekwa ngaphandle kokugxekwa.

Uma wena noma umuntu omthandayo ecindezelekile futhi ecabanga ukuzibulala, shayela iNational Suicide Prevention Lifeline.

Buyekeza kwe-