Izinto Ezingu-7 Owayengazi Ngokuthanda Kwakho

-Delile

• Buyekeza kwe-

Amandla, noma ukuntuleka kwawo, kusolwa ngokudla okwehlulekile, ukugeja imigomo yokuqina, isikweletu sekhadi lesikweletu, kanye nezinye izinto ezidabukisayo kusukela ngekhulu lesithathu B.C., lapho amaGrikhi asendulo eqala ukufunda ukuzithiba njengendlela yokunqoba isimilo esonakalisayo. Noma kunjalo, abantu abangamaphesenti angama-27 babika ukungabi namandla njengesihibe sabo esikhulu sokushintsha, ngokusho kwe-American Psychological Association.

Kwaphela amashumi eminyaka, izazi eziningi zokusebenza kwengqondo zikholelwa ukuthi amandla ayenemikhawulo. Njengophethiloli ethangini legesi, amandla ayashiswa lapho ubonisa ukuzithiba. Lapho ukunikezwa sekuphelile, uvumela isilingo.

Muva nje, ososayensi bezinzwa nezazi zokusebenza kwengqondo bebelokhu bephikisana nombono wokuthi amandla ayisisekelo esiphelele. Ukuzithiba kungasebenza njengomzwelo owehla futhi ugeleze ngokuya ngokuthi uzizwa kanjani ezimweni ezahlukahlukene. Abanye ochwepheshe bathi ukukholelwa emandleni kuqhuba isimilo sethu. Olunye ucwaningo lwathola ukuthi abantu abacabanga ukuthi amandla angenamkhawulo bavame ukululama kangcono emisebenzini edinga ukuzithiba kunalabo abacabanga ukuthi amandla anomkhawulo.

Ngakho-ke, yini ongayifunda kuyo yonke le ngxoxo elebhu yengqondo? Nawa amaqiniso ayisikhombisa amangazayo ngamandla angakusiza ukuthi uthuthukise ukuzithiba kwakho futhi ufinyelele imigomo yakho.

#1. Ukukholelwa ukuthi amandla akho angenamkhawulo kuzokujabulisa kakhulu.

Abacwaningi baseNyuvesi yaseZurich bathole ukuthi abantu ababona amandla abo njengangenamkhawulo bajabula kakhulu ngokuphila nje jikelele futhi bakwazi kangcono ukubhekana nesimo lapho ukuphila kuba nzima nakakhulu. Abacwaningi bahlola amakhulu abafundi basenyuvesi mayelana nezinkolelo zabo zamandla nokwaneliseka kokuphila ekuqaleni konyaka wesikole baphinda futhi ngaphambi kwesikhathi sokuhlolwa ezinyangeni eziyisithupha kamuva. Izinkolelo kumandla angenamkhawulo bezihlotshaniswa nokwaneliseka kwempilo okuningi nemizwa engcono ekuqaleni konyaka, futhi futhi ngenhlalakahle enhle ehlala isikhathi eside njengoba isikhathi sokuhlola sisondela.

# 2. Ukuzikhandla akuyona into enhle.

Ngoba amandla okuzimisela ngokuvamile ahlotshaniswa nokumelana nokuziphatha okungalungile, kuhlotshaniswa ngokungafanele nokuziphatha noma ubuqotho. Ku I-Willpower Instinct: Ukuthi Kusebenza Kanjani Ukuzithiba, Kungani Kubalulekile, nokuthi Yini Ongayenza Ukuze Uthole Okuningi Kwakho, umbhali uKelly McGonigal uthi amandla okusebenza ayimpendulo yomzimba wengqondo, hhayi ubuhle. I-Willpower iwumsebenzi wezinzwa: Ubuchopho butshela umzimba ukuthi wenzeni ukuze usize ukufeza izinhloso zakho. Ukuziphatha kunjalo kwefilosofi, hhayi ngokomzimba. Izindaba ezinhle: Ukudla lelo donut AKUKWENZI ube "mubi."

# 3. Awukwazi ukuthembela ekuzimiseleni ngezinguquko zesikhathi eside.

Ubuchopho bakho bunamasistimu amabili ahlukene aqhuba ukusebenza: uhlelo lwe- "go" kanye no "stop", ngokusho kuka-Art Markman, Ph.D., umbhali we Ukushintsha Okuhlakaniphile: Imikhuba Emi-5 Yokudala Imikhuba Emisha Nesimeme Kuwe Nakwabanye, kanye noprofesa wezengqondo e-University of Texas e-Austin. Ingxenye yobuchopho ethi "hamba" ikushukumisela ukuthi wenze futhi ufunde ukuziphatha. Uhlelo "lokuma" luvimbela izenzo uhlelo lwakho "lokuya" ofuna uzenze. I-Willpower iyingxenye yengxenye yobuchopho "yokumisa", ebuthakathaka kulezi zinhlelo ezimbili. Lokhu kusho ukuthi, ngenkathi ungazivimba ekusebenzeni ngokuziphatha okufisayo isikhathi esithile, isifiso sobuchopho bakho sokwenza isenzo ekugcineni sizokwehlula amandla akho. Ngakho-ke, uma uthembele kuphela emandleni okuyeka i-3 pm yakho. I-Starbucks iyagijima, uzibekela ukuthi ungaphumeleli.

U-Markman uthi isisombululo sesikhathi eside sokulawula ukuziphatha ukuhlela kabusha isistimu yakho "yokuhamba" ukuze uqhube ukuziphatha okufiseleka kakhulu.

"Isistimu yakho 'yokuhamba' ayikwazi ukufunda hhayi " lokho kungasiza i-career yakho noma uhlangane nozakwenu ukuxoxa ngemibono emisha. Bona ukuthi siphenduke kanjani a ungakwenzi kube a yenza?

# 4. Ukuzimisela kuba namandla ngokuzijwayeza.

Ukuhlela kabusha indlela oziphethe ngayo kubalulekile ekufezeni ushintsho, kepha kuthiwani lapho ufuna nje ukugwema ukuthumela imiyalezo kumuntu wakho wakudala ngosuku lwakhe lokuzalwa? Usadinga amandla okusiza ukumelana nokwenza izinqumo ezimbi zansuku zonke zokuphila. "Omunye wemibono eyiphutha kakhulu mayelana nokuzimisela ukuthi kungenzeka ukuthi unayo, noma awunayo," kusho uChloe Carmichael Peet, Ph.D., isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo somtholampilo esizinze eNew York City esigxile ekuphathweni kwengcindezi, izindaba zobudlelwano, nokuzimela - ukuhlonishwa, nokuqeqesha.

Abanye abantu bazalwa bezwela kakhulu ezintweni ezivusa imizwa nezilingo kunabanye. Kodwa, njengoba nje ukhipha imisipha ukuze wakhe amandla, ungakwazi ukwandisa amandla akho okuzithiba ngokusebenzisa amandla okuzimisela.

"Ukuzimisela kuyikhono," kusho uCarmichael Peet. "Uma ulwe nokuzikhandla esikhathini esedlule bese uthi, 'Anginamandla okuzimisela, akuyona ingxenye yokuthi ngingubani,' lokho kuba yisiphrofetho esizigcwalisayo. Kodwa uma ukuguqula lokho uthi, 'Nginendawo' ngichithe isikhathi esanele ukuthuthukisa amandla okuzimisela,' uzozenzela isikhala ukuze ufunde amakhono athile."

NgokukaCarmichael Peet, amandla angathuthukiswa ngendlela efanayo ofunda ngayo ukuphonsa ibhola elisheshayo: ukuphindaphinda. "Uma uqhubeka ngamandla akho, kuzoqina ngokwengeziwe," esho. "Njengoba uzibamba, kuba lula kuwe."

# 5. Ukugqugquzela namandla kuhlukile.

UMichael Inzlicht, Ph.D., uprofesa wezengqondo eNyuvesi yaseToronto Scarborough, uthi ukholelwa ukuthi ukuntula ugqozi-hhayi ukuntuleka kokuzimisela-yisizathu sokuthi abantu bazinikele ekuziphatheni okubi. "Umbono wokuphela kwamandla wokusebenzisa uphethiloli olinganiselwe awulungile, ngombono wami," kusho u-Inzlicht. "Yebo, mancane amathuba okuthi sinamathele ekudleni kwethu lapho sikhathele, kodwa angicabangi ukuthi lokhu kungenxa yokuthi ukuzithiba sekuphelile. Esikhundleni salokho, asikhuthazeki kangako ukuzithiba lapho sikhathele. Akubalulekile ukuthi ngikwazi ukwehluleka ukulawula, futhi ngumba wokungafuni ukulawula. Uma ukuzimisela kukhona, abantu bangazilawula noma ngabe bakhathele. "

# 6. Abantu abanzima bamunca amandla akho.

Wake waluchitha usuku uluma ulimi lwakho ngomuntu osebenza naye owehlisayo, wase uya ekhaya ukuyodla umkhono weChips Ahoy bese wehla ibhodlela elihhafu leMalbec? Ukuxhumana nabanye nokugcina ubudlelwano kungakhathaza kakhulu ngokwengqondo, kukushiye ungakhuthazeki kakhulu ekumelaneni nokuziphatha okubi kepha okwenelisayo, ngokusho kwe-American Psychological Association.

#7. Amandla okuphazamisa angase abe ukuphela kwamandla owadingayo.

"Ukuzimisela kungabanjwa ngokweqile," kusho u-Inzlicht. "Kungase empeleni kungabaluleki kangako kunokuba ucabanga ukukusiza ukuthi ufinyelele ezinhlosweni zethu." Ini kuyinto okubalulekile? Ukususa isilingo. U-Inzlicht nalabo asebenzisana nabo babheka abantu abazithibayo abasetshenziselwa ukuqedela umdlalo wamagama. Abacwaningi bacele abantu ukuthi bazibekele imigomo futhi bagcine amajenali mayelana nenqubekelaphambili yabo phakathi nezinyanga ezintathu.

U-Inzlicht uthole ukuthi ukuzithiba okwamanje akubikezelanga ngqo ukuthi abantu bahlangabezane nezinhloso zabo ezinyangeni ezintathu kamuva. Ini wenza qagela impumelelo yomgomo ukuthi ngabe laba bantu babhekene nesilingo noma cha. Labo abakulolu cwaningo abahlela izimpilo zabo-ngokomzimba noma ngokwengqondo-ukuze bahlangabezane nezilingo ezimbalwa yibo okungenzeka ukuthi bahlangabezane nemigomo yabo.

Ukuqhamuka nesu lokugwema isilingo kubaluleke kakhulu njengokwandisa ikhono lakho lokumelana naso. Cabanga ngale ndlela: Uma ungalokothi ubeke unyawo efulethini lomuntu owawuthandana naye, mancane kakhulu amathuba okuthi uphinde ubuye uphinde uxhumane naye, uzimisele noma cha.

Buyekeza kwe-