Umlobi: Lewis Jackson
Usuku Lokudalwa: 14 Mhlawumbe 2021
Ukuvuselela Usuku: 17 Unovemba 2024
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Amandla okuzwa nokuveza imizwa kubaluleke kakhulu kunalokho ongase ucabange.

Njengempendulo ezwayo esimweni esithile, imizwa idlala indima enkulu ekuphenduleni kwakho. Uma uvumelana nabo, uyakwazi ukufinyelela olwazini olubalulekile olusiza nge:

  • ukwenza isinqumbo
  • impumelelo ebudlelwaneni
  • ukuxhumana kwansuku zonke
  • ukuzinakekela

Ngenkathi imizwa ingaba nendima ewusizo empilweni yakho yansuku zonke, ingathinta impilo yakho engokomzwelo kanye nobudlelwano phakathi kwabantu lapho iqala ukuzizwa ingalawuleki.

UVicki Botnick, owelapha eTarzana, eCalifornia, uchaza lokho noma yini umuzwa - ngisho nokujabula, injabulo, noma abanye ojwayele ukubabheka njengokuhle - kungaqina kuze kube sezingeni lapho kuba nzima khona ukulawula.


Ngokuzijwayeza okuncane, ungabuyisa ukubusa. ziphakamisa ukuthi ukuba namakhono amahle wokulawula imizwa kuxhumene nenhlalakahle. Futhi, owesibili uthole ukuxhumana okungahle kube khona phakathi kwala makhono nempumelelo yezezimali, ngakho-ke ukufaka umsebenzi othile kulokho ngaphambili kungakhokha ngokoqobo.

Nazi izikhombisi zokuthi uqalise.

1. Bheka umthelela wemizwelo yakho

Imizwelo enamandla ayimbi yonke.

"Imizwelo yenza izimpilo zethu zithokozise, ​​zihluke, futhi ziphila," kusho uBotnick. "Imizwa enamandla ingakhombisa ukuthi samukela impilo ngokugcwele, ukuthi asicindezeli ukusabela kwethu kwemvelo."

Kuyinto ejwayelekile ngokuphelele ukuzwa ukucindezeleka ngokomzwelo ngezikhathi ezithile- lapho kwenzeka okuthile okumangalisayo, lapho kwenzeka okuthile okubi kakhulu, lapho uzizwa sengathi uphuthelwe.

Ngakho-ke, wazi kanjani uma kunenkinga?

Imizwelo ephuma esandleni ingaholela ku:

  • ukungqubuzana kobudlelwano noma ubungani
  • ubunzima bokuhlobene nabanye
  • inkathazo emsebenzini noma esikoleni
  • isifiso sokusebenzisa izinto ukusiza ukuphatha imizwa yakho
  • ukuqhuma ngokomzimba noma ngokomzwelo

Thola isikhathi sokubheka nje Kanjani imizwa yakho engalawulwa ithinta impilo yakho yansuku zonke. Lokhu kuzokwenza kube lula ukukhomba izindawo ezinenkinga (futhi ulandelele impumelelo yakho).


2. Hlose ukulawulwa, hhayi ukucindezelwa

Awukwazi ukulawula imizwa yakho ngokudayela (ukube nje bekulula kanjalo!). Kodwa ake ucabange, okwesikhashana, ukuthi wena kungenzeka phatha imizwa ngale ndlela.

Ngeke ufune ukubashiya begijima kakhulu ngaso sonke isikhathi. Ngeke futhi ufune ukuzicisha ngokuphelele, noma.

Uma ucindezela noma ucindezela imizwa, uvimbela wena ekuhlangabezaneni nasekuvezeni imizwa. Lokhu kungenzeka ngokuzazi (ukucindezela) noma ngokungazi (ukucindezela).

Kungaba nomthelela ezinkingeni zempilo yengqondo nengokwenyama, kufaka phakathi:

  • ukukhathazeka
  • ukudana
  • izindaba zokulala
  • ukungezwani kwemisipha nobuhlungu
  • ubunzima bokulawula ukucindezeleka
  • ukusetshenziswa kabi kwezidakamizwa

Lapho ufunda ukulawula imizwa, qiniseka ukuthi awugcini nje ngokubashanela ngaphansi kombhoxo. Ukuvezwa kwemizwa okunempilo kuhilela ukuthola ukulinganisela phakathi kwemizwelo ekhungathekisayo futhi kungabi nemizwa nhlobo.

3. Thola ukuthi uzizwa kanjani

Ukuthatha isikhashana uzihlole nawe mayelana nemizwa yakho kungakusiza ukuthi uqale ukuthola amandla okulawula kabusha.


Ithi usubone umuntu izinyanga ezimbalwa. Uzamile ukuhlela usuku ngesonto eledlule, kodwa bathi abanaso isikhathi. Izolo, uphinde wathumela umyalezo, uthi, “Ngingathanda ukukubona maduzane. Ungahlangana kuleli sonto? ”

Ekugcineni baphendula, esikhathini esingaphezu kosuku kamuva: “Ngeke. Kumatasa. ”

Ngokuphazima kweso ucasuke ngokweqile. Ngaphandle kokuma ucabange, uphonsa ifoni yakho egumbini, ungqongqoze ibhasikidi lakho lodoti, bese ukhahlela ideski lakho, unqake uzwane lwakho.

Ziphazamise ngokubuza:

  • Yini engiyizwayo njengamanje? (udumele, udidekile, uthukuthele)
  • Kwenzekeni ukuze ngizizwe ngale ndlela? (Bangicishile ngaphandle kwencazelo.)
  • Ingabe isimo sinencazelo ehlukile engaba nengqondo? (Mhlawumbe bacindezelekile, bayagula, noma basebenzelana nenye into abazizwa bengakhululekile ukuyichaza. Bangase bahlele ukuchaza kabanzi lapho bengakwazi.)
  • Yini engifuna ukuyenza ngale mizwa? (Memeza, khipha ukukhungatheka kwami ​​ngokujikijela izinto, ubhalele into ebucayi.)
  • Ingabe ikhona indlela engcono yokubhekana nazo? (Buza ukuthi ngabe konke kuhamba kahle yini. Buza ukuthi bakhululeke nini ngokulandelayo. Thatha uhambo lokuhambahamba noma ugijime.)

Ngokucabanga ngezinye izindlela ongazisebenzisa, uvuselela imicabango yakho, engakusiza ukuthi ushintshe ukusabela kwakho kokuqala ngokweqile.

Kungathatha isikhashana ngaphambi kokuba le mpendulo ibe umkhuba. Ngokuzijwayeza, ukuhamba ngalezi zinyathelo ekhanda lakho kuzoba lula (futhi kuphumelele ngokwengeziwe).

4. Yamukela imizwa yakho - yonke

Uma uzama ukuba ngcono ekuphatheni imizwa, ungahle uzame ukwehlisa imizwa yakho kuwe.

Lapho uvuthwa umoya ngemuva kokuthola izindaba ezimnandi noma uwa phansi ememeza futhi ekhala lapho ungatholi okhiye bakho, kungahle kubonakale kuwusizo ukuzitshela, “Yehlisa umoya,” noma “Akuyona into enkulu leyo, ngakho don ngiyaxakeka. ”

Kepha lokhu kwenza isipiliyoni sakho singasebenzi. It kuyinto into enkulu kuwe.

Ukwamukela imizwa njengoba iza kukusiza ukuthi unethezeke ngokwengeziwe ngabo. Ukungezelela induduzo yakho ezungeze imizwa enamandla kukuvumela ukuba uzizwe ngokugcwele ngaphandle kokuphendula ngezindlela ezeqisayo, ezingasizi ngalutho.

Ukuzijwayeza ukwamukela imizwa, zama ukuyicabanga njengezithunywa. Azikho "ezinhle" noma "ezimbi." Abathathi hlangothi. Mhlawumbe baveza imizwa engathandeki kwesinye isikhathi, kepha basakunika imininingwane ebalulekile ongayisebenzisa.

Isibonelo, zama:

  • “Ngiphatheke kabi ngoba ngilokhu ngilahlekelwa okhiye bami, okwenza ngibambezeleke. Kufanele ngibeke isidlo eshalofini ngasemnyango ngakho ngiyakhumbula ukubashiya endaweni efanayo. ”

Ukwamukela imizwa kunganelisa ngokwengeziwe empilweni futhi kube nezimpawu ezimbalwa zempilo yengqondo. Ngaphezu kwalokho, abantu bacabanga ngemizwa yabo njengamazinga aphezulu wenjabulo asizayo.

5. Gcina iphephabhuku lemizwa

Ukubhala phansi (noma ukuthayipha) imizwa yakho nezimpendulo abazibekayo kungakusiza ukuthi uthole noma yimaphi amaphethini aphazamisayo.

Kwesinye isikhathi, kwanele ukulandelela ngokomqondo imizwa emuva ngemicabango yakho. Ukubeka imizwa ephepheni kungakuvumela ukuthi uzindle ngayo ngokujulile.

Kuyakusiza futhi ukubona lapho izimo ezithile, njengokuhlupheka emsebenzini noma izingxabano zomndeni, zinikela emizweni enzima ukulawula. Ukuhlonza izimbangela ezithile kwenza kube nokwenzeka ukuza nezindlela zokuzilawula ngokukhiqiza ngokwengeziwe.

I-journaling inikeza inzuzo enkulu lapho uyenza nsuku zonke. Gcina iphephabhuku lakho nawe bese ubhala phansi imizwa enamandla noma imizwa njengoba kwenzeka. Zama ukuqaphela izimbangela nokusabela kwakho. Uma ukusabela kwakho kungasizanga, sebenzisa iphephabhuku lakho ukuhlola amathuba amaningi awusizo wesikhathi esizayo.

6. Donsa umoya

Kuningi okungashiwo ngamandla omoya ophefumulayo, noma ngabe ujabulile ngokuhlekisa noma uthukuthele kabi awukwazi ukukhuluma.

Ukunciphisa ijubane nokunaka ukuphefumula kwakho ngeke kwenze imizwa ihambe (futhi khumbula, lokho akuyona inhloso).

Noma kunjalo, izivivinyo zokuphefumula okujulile can ikusize uzimise phansi futhi uthathe isinyathelo emuva kokukhanya okukhulu kwemizwa kwanoma yikuphi ukusabela okweqile ofuna ukukugwema.

Ngokuzayo lapho uzwa imizwa iqala ukulawula:

  • Adonse umoya kancane. Ukuphefumula okujulile kuvela kusivalo, hhayi esifubeni. Kungasiza ukubona ngeso lengqondo ukuphefumula kwakho kukhuphuka kusuka ekujuleni kwesisu sakho.
  • Ibambe. Bamba umoya wakho ukubala okuthathu, bese uwukhipha kancane.
  • Cabanga ngemantra. Abanye abantu bakuthola kuwusizo ukuphinda imantra, njengokuthi "Ngizolile" noma "Ngikhululekile."

7. Yazi ukuthi uzikhulumela nini

Kukhona isikhathi nendawo yakho konke, kufaka phakathi imizwa enamandla. Ukukhala ngokungalawuleki kuyimpendulo ejwayelekile yokulahlekelwa othandekayo, ngokwesibonelo. Ukumemeza emcamelweni wakho, noma ukuwushaya ngesibhakela, kungakusiza ukuthi unciphise intukuthelo nokungezwani ngemuva kokulahlwa.

Nokho, ezinye izimo zifuna ukuzibamba. Akunandaba noma ngabe ukhungatheke kangakanani, ukumemeza umphathi wakho ngesenzo sokuqondisa izigwegwe ngokungafanele ngeke kukusize.

Ukukhumbula indawo okuyo kanye nesimo kungakusiza ufunde lapho KULUNGILE ukuvumela imizwa ukuthi iphume nokuthi ungahle uthande ukuhlala nabo okwamanje.

8. Zinike isikhala

Ukuthola ibanga elithile emizweni ejulile kungakusiza uqiniseke ukuthi usabela kuzo ngezindlela ezizwakalayo, ngokusho kukaBotnick.

Leli banga lingahle libe ngokomzimba, njengesibonelo sokushiya isimo esicasulayo, isibonelo. Kepha ungakha futhi ibanga elithile lengqondo ngokuziphazamisa.

Ngenkathi ungafuni ukuvimba noma ukugwema imizwa ngokuphelele, akulimazi ukuziphazamisa uze ube sendaweni engcono yokubhekana nayo. Vele uqiniseke ukuthi yenza buya kubo. Ukuphazamiseka okunempilo kungokwesikhashana.

Zama:

  • ukuthatha uhambo
  • ukubukela ividiyo ehlekisayo
  • ukukhuluma nomuntu omthandayo
  • ukuchitha imizuzu embalwa nesilwane sakho

9. Zama ukuzindla

Uma ujwayele ukuzindla, kungaba enye yezindlela zakho zokubhekana nemizwa eyeqisayo.

Ukuzindla kungakusiza ukuthi wandise ukuqonda kwakho ngayo yonke imizwa nokuhlangenwe nakho. Uma uzindla, uzifundisa ukuhlala naleyo mizwa, ukuyibuka ngaphandle kokuzigweba noma ukuzama ukuyiguqula noma ukubenza bahambe.

Njengoba kushiwo ngenhla, ukufunda ukwamukela yonke imizwa yakho kungenza ukulawulwa ngokomzwelo kube lula. Ukuzindla kukusiza ukukhulisa lawo makhono wokwamukela. Ibuye inikeze ezinye izinzuzo, njengokukusiza uphumule futhi ulale kangcono.

Umhlahlandlela wethu ezinhlotsheni ezahlukahlukene zokuzindla kungakusiza ukuthi uqalise.

10. Hlala phezu kwengcindezi

Uma ungaphansi kwengcindezi enkulu, ukulawula imizwa yakho kungaba nzima kakhulu. Ngisho nabantu ngokuvamile abakwazi ukulawula imizwa yabo kahle bangakuthola kunzima ngezikhathi zobunzima obukhulu kanye nengcindezi.

Ukunciphisa ukucindezeleka, noma ukuthola izindlela eziwusizo zokukulawula, kungasiza imizwa yakho ukuthi ilawuleke kakhulu.

Imikhuba yokucabanga njengokuzindla ingasiza ekucindezelekeni, futhi. Ngeke bayilahle, kodwa bangenza kube lula ukuhlala nabo.

Ezinye izindlela ezinempilo zokubhekana nengcindezi zifaka:

  • ukulala ngokwanele
  • ukwenza isikhathi sokuxoxa (nokuhleka) nabangani
  • ukuzivocavoca umzimba
  • ukuchitha isikhathi emvelweni
  • ukwenza isikhathi sokuphumula nokuzilibazisa

11. Khuluma nomelaphi

Uma imizwa yakho iqhubeka izwa ingaphezu kwamandla, kungaba yisikhathi sokufuna ukwesekwa kochwepheshe.

Ukukhubazeka okungokomzwelo okuhlala isikhathi eside noma okuqhubekayo nokuguquguquka kwemizwelo kuxhunyaniswa nezimo ezithile zempilo yengqondo, kufaka phakathi ukuphazamiseka kobuntu bomngcele kanye nokuphazamiseka kwengqondo okuguquguqukayo. Inkinga yokulawula imizwa ingabuye ihambisane nokuhlukumezeka, izingqinamba zomndeni, noma ezinye izinto ezikhathazayo, kuchaza uBotnick.

Umelaphi anganikeza ukwesekwa okungenazwelo, okungenakwehlulelwa njengawe:

  • hlola izinto ezibangela imizwa engalawuleki
  • ukubhekana nokushintshashintsha kwemizwelo okunzima
  • funda ukuthi lawula phansi imizwa ejulile noma ulawule kanjani imizwa ekhawulelwe engokomzwelo
  • zijwayeze ukuphonsela imizwa eyinselele nokuyibuyisela emuva ingcindezi

Ukushintshashintsha kwemizwelo nemizwelo enamandla kungavusa imicabango emibi noma engadingeki egcina ivuse imizwa yokuphelelwa yithemba noma yokuphelelwa yithemba.

Lo mjikelezo ungagcina uholele ezindleleni ezingasizi zokubhekana nokuzilimaza noma imicabango yokuzibulala. Uma uqala ukucabanga ngokuzibulala noma unxenxa ukuzilimaza, khuluma nomuntu omthandayo othembekile ongakusiza ukuthi uthole ukuxhaswa ngokushesha.

Uma udinga usizo manje

Uma ucabanga ukuzibulala noma unemicabango yokuzilimaza, ungashayela i-Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration ku-800-662-HELP (4357).

Ucingo lwangama-24/7 luzokuxhumanisa nemithombo yezempilo yengqondo endaweni yangakini. Ochwepheshe abaqeqeshiwe bangakusiza nokuthi uthole izinsiza zombuso wakho zokwelashwa uma ungenawo umshuwalense wezempilo.

UCrystal Raypole wake wasebenza njengombhali nomhleli weGoodTherapy.Imikhakha yakhe enentshisekelo ifaka izilimi nezincwadi zase-Asia, ukuhunyushwa kwesiJapane, ukupheka, isayensi yemvelo, ukuzethemba ngocansi, nempilo yengqondo. Ngokukhethekile, uzibophezele ekusizeni ukunciphisa ukucwaswa okuzungeze izingqinamba zezempilo yengqondo.

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