Indlela Yokuzixolela

-Delile

• 1. Gxila emizweni yakho
• 2. Vuma iphutha ngokuzwakalayo
• 3. Cabanga ngephutha ngalinye njengolwazi lokufunda
• 4. Zinike imvume yokumisa le nqubo
• 5. Yiba nengxoxo nomgxeki wakho wangaphakathi
• 6. Qaphela lapho uzigxeka
• 7. Thulisa imiyalezo engemihle yomhlaziyi wakho wangaphakathi
• 8. Cacisa ngalokho okufunayo
• 9. Thatha iseluleko sakho
• 10. Yeka ukudlala iteyipu
• 11. Khombisa umusa nozwela
• 12. Funa usizo lochwepheshe
• Ukuthatha

Ukwenza ukuthula nokuqhubekela phambili kuvame ukushiwo kalula kunokukwenza. Ukukwazi ukuzixolela kudinga uzwela, uzwela, umusa nokuqonda. Kudinga nokuthi wamukele ukuthi ukuxolelwa kuyisinqumo.

Noma ngabe uzama ukubhekana nephutha elincane noma elithinta zonke izingxenye zempilo yakho, izinyathelo okudingeka uzithathe ukuze uzixolele zizobukeka futhi zizwakale zifana.

Sonke siyawenza amaphutha ngezinye izikhathi. Njengabantu, asiphelele. Icebo, kusho u-Arlene B. Englander, LCSW, MBA, PA ukufunda nokuqhubekela phambili emaphutheni ethu. Yize kubuhlungu futhi kungakhululeki njengoba kungenzeka kube khona, kunezinto empilweni ezifanele ukubekezelela ubuhlungu ukuze uqhubekele phambili, futhi ukuzixolela ngenye yazo.

Nawa amathiphu ayi-12 ongazama ngawo ngokuzayo lapho ufuna ukuzixolela khona.

1. Gxila emizweni yakho

Esinye sezinyathelo zokuqala zokufunda ukuthi ungazixolela kanjani ukugxila kwimizwa yakho. Ngaphambi kokuthi uye phambili, udinga. Zinike imvume yokubona nokwamukela imizwa ebangelwe kuwe futhi uyamukele.

2. Vuma iphutha ngokuzwakalayo

Uma wenza iphutha futhi uqhubeka nokulwela ukulidedela, vuma ngokuzwakalayo lokho okufundile ephutheni, kusho uJordan Pickell, MCP, RCC.

Lapho ubeka izwi emicabangweni esekhanda lakho kanye nemizwa esenhliziyweni yakho, ungazikhulula kweminye yemithwalo. Ufaka futhi engqondweni yakho lokho okufundile kuzenzo zakho nakwimiphumela.

3. Cabanga ngephutha ngalinye njengolwazi lokufunda

I-Englander ithi ukucabanga "ngephutha" ngalinye njengolwazi lokufunda oluphethe ukhiye wokuqhubekela phambili ngokushesha nangokuqhubekayo ngokuzayo.

Ukuzikhumbuza ukuthi senze konke okusemandleni ethu ngamathuluzi nolwazi ebesinalo ngaleso sikhathi, kuzosisiza ukuthi sizithethelele futhi siqhubekele phambili.

4. Zinike imvume yokumisa le nqubo

Uma wenza iphutha kepha kunzima ukukukhipha emqondweni wakho, uPickell uthi ngeso lengqondo imicabango nemizwa yakho ngephutha lokungena esitsheni, njengembiza yamasoni noma ibhokisi.

Ngemuva kwalokho, zitshele ukuthi ubeka lokhu eceleni okwamanje futhi uzobuyela kukho uma kuzokuzuzisa nini.

5. Yiba nengxoxo nomgxeki wakho wangaphakathi

Ukushicilela kungakusiza uqonde umgxeki wakho wangaphakathi futhi uhlakulele ukuzizwela. UPickell uthi into eyodwa ongayenza ukubhala "ingxoxo" phakathi kwakho nomgxeki wakho wangaphakathi. Lokhu kungakusiza ukuthi ubone izindlela zokucabanga ezonakalisa amandla akho okuzixolela.

Ungasebenzisa futhi isikhathi sokushicilela ukwenza uhlu lwezimfanelo ozithandayo ngawe, kufaka phakathi amandla akho namakhono akho. Lokhu kungasiza ukukhulisa ukuzethemba kwakho lapho uzizwa uphansi ngephutha olwenzile.

6. Qaphela lapho uzigxeka

Singabagxeki bethu ababi kakhulu, akunjalo? Yingakho uPickell ethi icebo elilodwa lesenzo elibalulekile ukuqaphela lapho lelo zwi elinokhahlo lingena bese ulibhala phansi. Ungamangala ngalokho okushiwo umgxeki wakho wangaphakathi kuwe.

7. Thulisa imiyalezo engemihle yomhlaziyi wakho wangaphakathi

Kwesinye isikhathi kungaba nzima ukubona imicabango engena ekuthethelelweni. Uma ulwela ukuhlunga umgxeki wakho wangaphakathi, uPickell uphakamisa lo msebenzi:

• Ngakolunye uhlangothi lwesiqeshana sephepha, bhala ukuthi uthini umgxeki wakho wangaphakathi (okuvame ukugxeka nokungabi nangqondo).
• Ngakolunye uhlangothi lwephepha, bhala impendulo enozwela neyengqondo ngento ngayinye oyibhale ngakolunye uhlangothi lwephepha.

8. Cacisa ngalokho okufunayo

Uma iphutha olenzile lilimaze omunye umuntu, udinga ukunquma indlela engcono kakhulu yokwenza. Ngabe uyafuna ukukhuluma nalo muntu uxolise? Ingabe kubalulekile ukubuyisana nabo futhi ulungise?

Uma usesicingweni ngalokho okufanele ukwenze, ungahle uthande ukucabanga ngokulungisa. Lokhu kudlulela ngale kokuthi uxolo kumuntu omlimazile. Esikhundleni salokho, zama ukulungisa iphutha olenzile. Olunye ucwaningo luthole ukuthi ukuzixolela thina ngokulimaza omunye kuba lula uma siqala ukulungisa.

9. Thatha iseluleko sakho

Imvamisa, kulula ukutshela omunye umuntu ukuthi enzeni kunokuthatha izeluleko zethu. U-Heidi McBain, i-LMFT, i-LPT, i-LPT, owelayisensi yomshado nelayisense uthi zibuze ukuthi ungamtshelani umngani wakho omkhulu uma behlanganyela leli phutha abalenze nawe, bese uthatha izeluleko zakho.

Uma unenkinga enzima yokusebenza ngalokhu ekhanda lakho, kungasiza ukudlala indima nomngane wakho. Bacele ukuthi bathathe iphutha lakho. Bazokutshela okwenzekile nokuthi balwela kanjani ukuzixolela.

Uba ngumnikezeli weseluleko futhi uzijwayeze ukutshela umngani wakho ukuthi aqhubeke kanjani.

10. Yeka ukudlala iteyipu

Kungokwemvelo yomuntu ukuchitha isikhathi namandla siphindaphinda amaphutha ethu. Ngenkathi okunye ukucubungula kubalulekile, ukubheka okwenzekile kaninginingi ngeke kukuvumele ukuthi uthathe izinyathelo ezifanele zokuzixolela.

Uma uzibamba udlala ithephu ethi "Ngingumuntu owesabekayo", zimise wena bese ugxila esinyathelweni esisodwa esisebenzayo. Isibonelo, esikhundleni sokuphinda udlale iteyipu, phefumula kathathu okujulile noma uthathe uhambo lokuhambahamba.

Ukuphazamisa iphethini yokucabanga kungakusiza ukuthi usuke ekuhlangenwe nakho okungekuhle futhi

11. Khombisa umusa nozwela

Uma impendulo yakho yokuqala esimweni esingesihle kungukuzigxeka, sekuyisikhathi sokuzibonisa umusa nozwela. Okuwukuphela kwendlela yokuqalisa uhambo lokuya ekuxolelweni ukuba nomusa nobubele kuwe.

Lokhu kudinga isikhathi, ukubekezela, nokuzikhumbuza ukuthi ufanele ukuthethelelwa.

12. Funa usizo lochwepheshe

Uma unenkinga yokuzixolela, ungahlomula ngokukhuluma nompetha. UMcBain uncoma ukukhuluma nomeluleki ongakusiza ufunde ukuthi ungaphula kanjani la maphethini angenampilo empilweni yakho futhi ufunde izindlela ezintsha nezinempilo zokubhekana namaphutha.

Ukuthatha

Ukuthethelela kubalulekile enqubeni yokwelashwa ngoba kukuvumela ukuthi uyeke intukuthelo, ukuba necala, amahloni, ukudabuka, noma omunye umuzwa ongahle ube nawo, bese uqhubeka.

Uma usukhombe lokho ozizwayo, kunikeze izwi futhi wamukele ukuthi amaphutha ngeke agwemeke. Uzoqala ukubona ukuthi ukuthethelelwa kungakhululeka kanjani.