Indlela Yokusiza Umngane Ocindezelekile

-Delile

• 1. Balalele
• 2. Basize bathole ukusekelwa
• 3. Basekele ekuqhubekeni nokwelashwa
• 4. Zinakekele
• Beka imingcele
• Zijwayeze ukuzinakekela
• 5. Funda ngokucindezeleka uwedwa
• 6. Nikela ukusiza ngemisebenzi yansuku zonke
• 7. Yelula izimemo ezikhululekile
• 8. Yiba nesineke
• 9. Hlala uxhumene
• 10. Yazi izinhlobo ezahlukahlukene zokucindezeleka ezingathatha
• Izinto okungafanele zenziwe
• 1. Ungathathi izinto uqobo
• 2. Ungazami ukuzilungisa
• 3. Unganikezi izeluleko
• 4. Unganciphisi noma uqhathanise ulwazi lwabo
• 5. Ungathathi ukuma emithini
• Lapho sekuyisikhathi sokungenelela
• Indlela Engibhekana Ngayo: Indaba KaDavid Yokukhathazeka Nesixhala

Unaye umngani ophila nokudangala? Awuwedwa.

Ngokwezibalo zakamuva kakhulu ezivela ku-National Institute of Mental Health, amaphesenti angaphezu kuka-7 wabo bonke abantu abadala base-U.S. Ahlangabezana nesiqephu sokucindezeleka okukhulu ngo-2017.

Emhlabeni wonke, phila ngokudangala.

Kepha akuwona wonke umuntu obhekana nokudangala ngendlela efanayo, futhi izimpawu zingahluka.

Uma umngane wakho ebhekene nokudangala, banga:

• kubonakala kudabukile noma kukhala izinyembezi
• abonakale engenathemba kakhulu kunokujwayelekile noma engenathemba ngekusasa
• khuluma ngokuzizwa unecala, ungenalutho, noma ungelutho
• babonakala bengenasithakazelo sokuchitha isikhathi ndawonye noma ukuxhumana okuncane kakhulu kunokuvamile
• ukucasuka kalula noma ukucasuka okungavamile
• unamandla amancane, hamba kancane, noma ubonakale ungenalutho
• abanantshisekelo ekubukekeni kwabo kunokujwayelekile noma abayinaki inhlanzeko eyisisekelo, njengokugeza nokuxubha amazinyo
• unenkinga yokulala noma ukulala kakhulu kunokujwayelekile
• abanandaba nemisebenzi yabo ejwayelekile kanye nezinto abazithandayo
• babonakala bakhohlwa noma banenkinga yokugxila noma yokunquma ngezinto
• udle kakhulu noma ngaphansi kunokujwayelekile
• khuluma ngokufa noma ukuzibulala

Lapha, sizohamba ngaphezulu kwezinto eziyi-10 ongazenza ukusiza kanye nezinto ezimbalwa okufanele uzigweme.

1. Balalele

Yazisa umngani wakho ukuthi ubalungele. Ungaqala ingxoxo ngokwabelana ngokukhathazeka kwakho futhi ubuze umbuzo othile. Isibonelo, ungathi, "Kubukeka sengathi ubukade unenkinga muva nje. Ucabangani?"

Khumbula ukuthi umngani wakho angafuna ukukhuluma ngalokho abazizwa ngakho, kepha bangahle bangafuni ukwelulekwa.

Bandakanya nomngani wakho ngokusebenzisa amasu wokulalela asebenzayo:

• Buza imibuzo ukuze uthole ulwazi oluthe xaxa esikhundleni sokucabanga ukuthi uyakuqonda lokho abakushoyo.
• Qinisekisa imizwa yabo. Ungase uthi, “Kuzwakala kunzima impela lokho. Ngiyaxolisa ukuzwa lokho."
• Khombisa uzwela nentshisekelo ngolimi lomzimba wakho.

Umngani wakho kungenzeka angazizwa ekhuluma okokuqala uma ubuza, ngakho-ke kungasiza ukuqhubeka nokubatshela ukuthi uyakhathala.

Qhubeka ubuze imibuzo evulekile (ngaphandle kokucindezela) futhi uzwakalise ukukhathazeka kwakho. Zama ukuba nezingxoxo mathupha lapho kungenzeka. Uma uhlala ezindaweni ezahlukahlukene, zama ukuxoxa ngevidiyo.

2. Basize bathole ukusekelwa

Umngani wakho kungenzeka angazi ukuthi babhekene nokudangala, noma kungenzeka aqiniseke ukuthi angaluthola kanjani usizo.

Noma bengazi ukuthi ukwelashwa kungasiza, kungaba nzima ukufuna owelapha bese wenza i-aphoyintimenti.

Uma umngani wakho ebonakala enentshisekelo yokwelulekwa ngokomqondo, nikela ukubasiza ukuba babuyekeze abangahle babe ngabelaphi. Ungasiza umngane wakho ukuthi abhale izinto okufanele azibuze abangahle babe ngabelaphi nezinto abafuna ukuzisho esimisweni sabo sokuqala.

Ukubakhuthaza nokubasekela ukwenza lokho kuqokwa kokuqala kungasiza kakhulu uma bethola ubunzima.

3. Basekele ekuqhubekeni nokwelashwa

Ngosuku olubi, umngani wakho kungenzeka angazizwa efuna ukuphuma endlini. Ukudana kungasusa amandla futhi kwandise isifiso sokuzihlukanisa.

Uma besho okuthile okufana nokuthi, "Ngicabanga ukuthi ngizokukhansela ukuqokwa kwami ​​kokwelashwa," bakhuthaze ukuba banamathele kukho.

Ungathi, “Ngesonto eledlule uthe iseshini yakho ikhiqize ngempela futhi uzizwe ungcono kakhulu ngemuva kwalokho. Kuthiwani uma isikhathi sanamuhla sisiza, futhi? "

Okufanayo kuya ngemithi. Uma umngani wakho efuna ukuyeka ukuphuza imithi ngenxa yemiphumela engemihle, msekele, kepha mkhuthaze ukuthi akhulume nodokotela wabo wezifo zengqondo ngokushintshela kumuthi wokucindezela okuhlukile noma ukwehla ngokuphelele emithini.

Ukumisa ngokungazelelwe izidakamizwa zokucindezeleka ngaphandle kokuqondiswa komhlinzeki wezempilo kungaba nemiphumela emibi.

4. Zinakekele

Uma ukhathalela umuntu ophila nokudangala, kuyalinga ukulahla konke ukuze kube eceleni kwakhe futhi umsekele. Akulungile ukufuna ukusiza umngani, kodwa kubalulekile futhi ukunakekela izidingo zakho.

Uma ufaka wonke amandla akho ekusekeleni umngani wakho, uzoba nokuncane kakhulu okusalayo kuwe. Futhi uma uzizwa ushile noma ukhungathekile, ngeke ube usizo olukhulu kumngane wakho.

Beka imingcele

Ukubeka imingcele kungasiza. Isibonelo, ungazisa umngani wakho ukuthi uyatholakala ukuze ukhulume ngemuva kokufika ekhaya uvela emsebenzini, kodwa hhayi ngaphambi kwalokho.

Uma ukhathazekile ngabo uzizwa sengathi ngeke bakwazi ukukufinyelela, zinikele ngokubasiza ukuba beze nohlelo lokuhlangabezana nezimo uma bekudinga phakathi nosuku lwakho lomsebenzi. Lokhu kungabandakanya ukuthola i-hotline abangayishayela noma ukuza negama lekhodi abangakuthumelela lona uma besenkingeni.

Ungahle unikele ngokuma nsuku zonke noma ulethe ukudla kabili ngesonto, esikhundleni sokuzama ukusiza nsuku zonke. Ukubandakanya abanye abangane kungasiza ukudala inethiwekhi enkulu yokusekela.

Zijwayeze ukuzinakekela

Ukuchitha isikhathi esiningi nomuntu omthandayo onengcindezi kungalimaza ngokomzwelo. Yazi imikhawulo yakho ezungeze imizwelo enzima, futhi uqiniseke ukuthi uthatha isikhathi sokuvuselela.

Uma udinga ukwazisa umngani wakho ukuthi ngeke utholakale isikhashana, ungasho into efana nokuthi, “Angikwazi ukukhuluma kuze kube isikhathi se-X. Ngingakwazi yini ukuxhumana nawe lapho? ”

5. Funda ngokucindezeleka uwedwa

Cabanga ukuthi kufanele ufundise umuntu ngamunye empilweni yakho ngenkinga yezempilo yengqondo noma yomzimba obhekene nayo - ukuyichaza kaninginingi. Kuzwakala kukhandla, akunjalo?

Ungakhuluma nomngani wakho ngezimpawu ezithile noma ukuthi bazizwa kanjani, kodwa gwema ukubacela ukuthi bakutshele ngokucindezeleka ngokujwayelekile.

Funda ngezimpawu, izimbangela, izindlela zokuxilonga, kanye nokwelashwa ngokwakho.

Ngenkathi abantu behlangabezana nokudangala ngokwehlukile, ukuzijwayela izimpawu ezijwayelekile kanye namagama kungakusiza ube nezingxoxo ezijulile nomngani wakho.

Lezi zihloko ziyisiqalo esihle sokuqala:

• Ukudangala: Amaqiniso, Izibalo, Nawe
• Izinhlobo Ezi-9 Zokucindezeleka Nokuthi Ungazibona Kanjani
• Izimbangela Zokucindezeleka
• Yini Ngempela Ukuhamba Ngokucindezeleka Okujulile, Okumnyama

6. Nikela ukusiza ngemisebenzi yansuku zonke

Ngokucindezeleka, imisebenzi yansuku zonke ingazizwa ingaphezu kwamandla. Izinto ezinjengokuwasha izingubo, ukuthenga ezitolo, noma ukukhokha izikweletu zingaqala ukunqwabelana, okwenza kube nzima ukwazi ukuthi ungaqala kuphi.

Umngani wakho angajabulela ukunikezwa kosizo, kepha futhi bangase bangakwazi ukusho ngokucacile ukuthi yini abadinga usizo ngayo.

Ngakho-ke, esikhundleni sokuthi "Ngazise uma kukhona engingakwenza," cabanga ukuthi, "Udinga usizo luni namuhla?"

Uma ubona ukuthi isiqandisi sabo asinalutho, yithi “Ngingakuyisa yini ezitolo zokudla, noma ngithathe okudingayo uma ungibhalela uhlu?” noma "Asihambe siyothenga ukudla bese sipheka isidlo sakusihlwa ndawonye."

Uma umngane wakho engemuva ekudleni, elondolo, noma eminye imisebenzi yasendlini, cela ukuza lapha, ufake umculo, bese wenza umsebenzi othile ndawonye. Ukuba nenkampani nje kungenza umsebenzi ubonakale ungathusi kangako.

7. Yelula izimemo ezikhululekile

Abantu abaphila nokudangala bangaba nesikhathi esinzima ukufinyelela kubangani nokwenza noma ukugcina izinhlelo. Kepha ukukhansela izinhlelo kunganikela ekubeni necala.

Iphethini yezinhlelo ezikhanseliwe zingaholela ezimemweni ezimbalwa, ezingakhuphula ukuzihlukanisa. Le mizwa ingandisa ukucindezeleka.

Ungasiza ekuqinisekiseni umngani wakho ngokuqhubeka nokunweba izimemo zemisebenzi, noma ngabe uyazi ukuthi mancane amathuba okuthi bamukele. Batshele ukuthi uyaqonda ukuthi bangahle bangazigcini izinhlelo uma besezingeni elibi nokuthi ayikho ingcindezi yokubloma baze balungele.

Vele ubakhumbuze ukuthi uyajabula ukubabona noma kunini lapho bethanda khona.

8. Yiba nesineke

Ukucindezeleka kuvame ukuba ngcono ngokwelashwa, kepha kungaba inqubo ehamba kancane ebandakanya ukulinga nephutha elithile. Kungadingeka ukuthi bazame izindlela ezimbalwa zokwelulekwa noma imishanguzo ngaphambi kokuba bathole okusiza izimpawu zabo.

Ngisho nokwelashwa okuphumelelayo akusho njalo ukuthi ukudangala kuyaphela ngokuphelele. Umngani wakho angaqhubeka nokuba nezimpawu ngezikhathi ezithile.

Okwamanje, bazoba nezinsuku ezithile ezinhle nezinsuku ezithile ezimbi. Gwema ukuthatha usuku oluhle kusho ukuthi "baphulukisiwe," futhi uzame ukungakhungatheki uma uchungechunge lwezinsuku ezimbi lukwenza kubonakale sengathi umngani wakho akasoze athuthuka.

Ukudangala akunaye umugqa wesikhathi wokutakula ocacile. Ukulindela ukuthi umngani wakho abuyele esimeni sakhe esijwayelekile ngemuva kwamasonto ambalwa ekwelashweni ngeke kusize omunye wenu.

9. Hlala uxhumene

Ukwazisa umngani wakho ukuthi usabakhathalele njengoba beqhubeka nokusebenza ngokudangala kungasiza.

Noma ungeke ukwazi ukuchitha isikhathi esiningi nabo njalo, ngena njalo ngombhalo, ucingo, noma ukuvakasha okusheshayo. Ngisho nokuthumela umbhalo osheshayo othi "kade ngikucabanga futhi ngiyakukhathalela" kungasiza.

Abantu abaphila nokudangala bangahle bahoxe kakhulu futhi bagweme ukufinyelela, ngakho-ke ungazithola usenza umsebenzi omningi ukugcina ubungani. Kepha ukuqhubeka nokuba khona okuhle, okusekelayo empilweni yomngani wakho kungenza umehluko kubo, noma bengakwazi ukukuveza lokho okwamanje.

10. Yazi izinhlobo ezahlukahlukene zokucindezeleka ezingathatha

Ukudana imvamisa kuhilela ukudabuka noma umoya ophansi, kepha futhi kunezinye, izimpawu ezingaziwa kakhulu.

Isibonelo, abantu abaningi abaqapheli ukuthi ukudangala kungabandakanya:

• intukuthelo nokucasuka
• ukudideka, izinkinga zememori, noma ubunzima bokugxila
• ukukhathala ngokweqile noma izinkinga zokulala
• izimpawu zomzimba njengokucindezeleka kwesisu, ikhanda elibuhlungu njalo, noma iqolo nezinye izinhlungu zemisipha

Umngani wakho angahle abonakale enesimo esingesihle, noma azizwe ekhathele isikhathi esiningi. Zama ukukhumbula ukuthi lokho abakuzwayo kuseyingxenye yokudangala, noma ngabe kungalingani nezinguqulo ezigxile ekucindezelekeni.

Noma ungazi ukuthi ungabasiza kanjani bazizwe bengcono, mane uthi “Ngiyaxolisa uzizwa ngale ndlela. Ngilapha ukuzosiza uma kukhona engingakwenza ”kungasiza.

Izinto okungafanele zenziwe

1. Ungathathi izinto uqobo

Ukucindezeleka komngane wakho akulona iphutha lakho, njengoba kungelona iphutha labo.

Zama ukungakuvumeli ukuthi kufinyelele kuwe uma kubonakala sengathi bakukhahlela ngentukuthelo noma ukukhungatheka, balokhu bekhansela izinhlelo (noma bakhohlwa ukulandela), noma bangafuni ukwenza okuningi.

Ungahle, ngesikhathi esithile, udinge ikhefu kumngane wakho. Kulungile ukuthatha isikhala sakho uma uzizwa ukhathele emoyeni, kodwa futhi kubalulekile ukugwema ukusola umngani wakho noma ukusho izinto ezingaba nomthelela emizweni yabo emibi.

Esikhundleni salokho, cabanga ukukhuluma nomelaphi noma omunye umuntu osekelayo mayelana nokuthi uzizwa kanjani.

2. Ungazami ukuzilungisa

Ukudana komoya yisimo esibi sezempilo yengqondo esidinga ukwelashwa ngochwepheshe.

Kungaba nzima ukuqonda kahle ukuthi kunjani ukucindezeleka uma ungakaze ubhekane nakho. Kepha akuyona into engalapheka ngemishwana enezinhloso ezinhle ezinjengokuthi, "Kufanele ubonge ngezinto ezinhle empilweni yakho" noma "Mane uyeke ukucabanga ngezinto ezibuhlungu."

Uma ungeke usho okuthile kumuntu ophila nesimo somzimba, njengesifo sikashukela noma umdlavuza, mhlawumbe akufanele ukusho kumngane wakho ngokudangala.

Wena can khuthaza ukuzethemba (yize umngane wakho engase angakuphenduli) ngokubakhumbuza izinto ozithandayo ngabo - ikakhulukazi uma kubonakala sengathi banezinto ezingezinhle abangazisho.

Ukwesekwa okuhle kungazisa umngani wakho ukuthi babaluleke ngempela kuwe.

3. Unganikezi izeluleko

Yize izinguquko ezithile zendlela yokuphila zivame ukusiza ukuthuthukisa izimpawu zokudangala, kungaba nzima ukwenza lezi zinguquko phakathi kwesiqephu sokucindezeleka.

Ungahle uthande ukusiza ngokunikeza izeluleko, njengokuvivinya umzimba kakhulu noma ukudla ukudla okunempilo. Kodwa noma ngabe kuyiseluleko esihle, umngani wakho angahle angafuni ukusizwa okwamanje.

Kungase kufike isikhathi lapho umngane wakho efuna ukuthola ukuthi yikuphi ukudla okungasiza ekucindezelekeni noma ukuthi ukuzivocavoca umzimba kungazinciphisa kanjani izimpawu. Kuze kube yileso sikhathi, kepha kungaba ngcono ukunamathela ekulaleleni okuzwelayo futhi ugweme ukunikeza iseluleko kuze kube yilapho ubuzwa.

Khuthaza ushintsho oluhle ngokubamema ekuhambeni noma ukupheka isidlo esinomsoco ndawonye.

4. Unganciphisi noma uqhathanise ulwazi lwabo

Uma umngane wakho ekhuluma ngokudangala kwabo, ungahle uthande ukusho izinto ezinjengokuthi, "Ngiyakuqonda," noma "Sikhona sonke." Kodwa uma ungakaze ubhekane nokudangala ngokwakho, lokhu kunganciphisa imizwa yabo.

Ukucindezeleka kudlulela ngalé kokuzizwa udabukile noma uphansi. Usizi luvame ukudlula ngokushesha okukhulu, ngenkathi ukucindezeleka kungahlala futhi kuthinte imizwa, ubudlelwano, umsebenzi, isikole, nazo zonke ezinye izici zokuphila izinyanga noma ngisho neminyaka.

Ukuqhathanisa ababhekene nakho ezinkingeni zomunye umuntu noma ukusho izinto ezifana nokuthi, "Kodwa izinto zingaba zimbi kakhulu," ngokuvamile akusizi.

Ubuhlungu bomngani wakho buyinto yangempela kubo njengamanje - nokuqinisekisa ukuthi ubuhlungu yibo obungabasiza kakhulu.

Yisho okuthile okufana nokuthi, "Angikwazi ukucabanga ukuthi kunzima kangakanani ukubhekana nakho. Ngiyazi ukuthi angikwazi ukukwenza uzizwe ungcono, kodwa khumbula ukuthi awuwedwa. ”

5. Ungathathi ukuma emithini

Imithi ingasiza kakhulu ekucindezelekeni, kepha ayisebenzi kahle kuwo wonke umuntu.

Abanye abantu abayithandi imiphumela yaso emibi futhi bakhetha ukwelapha ukudangala ngokwelashwa noma ngamakhambi emvelo. Noma ngabe ucabanga ukuthi umngani wakho kufanele athathe i-anti-depressant, khumbula ukuthi ukukhetha ukuthatha umuthi kuyisinqumo sakho.

Ngokufanayo, uma wena uqobo ungakholelwa emithini, gwema leyo ndaba lapho ukhuluma nabo. Kwabanye abantu, umuthi ungukhiye ekubafikiseni endaweni lapho bezokwazi khona ukuhlanganyela ngokuphelele ekwelashweni futhi baqale ukuthatha izinyathelo zokubuyiselwa.

Ekupheleni kosuku, noma ngabe umuntu onokudangala uthatha imishanguzo kuyisinqumo somuntu uqobo esivame ukushiyelwa bona kanye nomhlinzeki wabo wezokunakekelwa kwempilo.

Lapho sekuyisikhathi sokungenelela

Ukudangala kungakhuphula ingozi yomuntu yokuzibulala noma yokuzilimaza, ngakho-ke kuyasiza ukwazi ukuthi ungazibona kanjani izimpawu.

Ezinye izimpawu ezingakhombisa ukuthi umngani wakho unemicabango emibi yokuzibulala zifaka:

• ukushintsha kwemizwelo njalo noma izinguquko zobuntu
• ukukhuluma ngokufa noma ngokufa
• ukuthenga isikhali
• ukusetshenziswa kwezidakamizwa okwandisiwe
• ukuziphatha okuyingozi noma okuyingozi
• ukulahla izinto noma ukuphana ngezinto eziyigugu
• ukukhuluma ngokuzizwa uvalelekile noma ufuna indlela yokuphuma
• ukududula abantu noma bethi bafuna ukushiywa bodwa
• kuvalelisa ngomuzwa omkhulu kunokujwayelekile

Uma ucabanga ukuthi umngani wakho ucabanga ukuzibulala, bakhuthaze ukuthi babize abelaphi babo ngenkathi unabo noma ubuze umngani wakho ukuthi ungabacela yini.

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Ungathatha futhi umngani wakho uye naye egumbini labezimo eziphuthumayo. Uma kungenzeka, hlala nomngani wakho baze bangabe besazibulala. Qiniseka ukuthi abakwazi ukufinyelela kunoma yiziphi izikhali noma izidakamizwa.

Uma ukhathazekile ngomngani wakho, ungahle ukhathazeke ngokuthi ukuyisho kubo kungakhuthaza imicabango yokuzibulala. Kodwa ngokuvamile kuyasiza ukukhuluma ngakho.

Buza umngani wakho ukuthi bakucabangele yini ukuzibulala. Bangase bafune ukukhuluma nothile ngakho kodwa abaqiniseki ukuthi bazoyiveza kanjani le ndaba enzima.

Bakhuthaze ukuthi bakhulume nodokotela wabo ngaleyo micabango, uma bengakenzi kanjalo. Nikela ngokubasiza ukuthi bakhe uhlelo lokuphepha abazolusebenzisa uma becabanga ukuthi bangalandela leyo micabango.

Indlela Engibhekana Ngayo: Indaba KaDavid Yokukhathazeka Nesixhala