Kungani Ngikhohlisa Ukuba 'Ojwayelekile' - Nabanye Abesifazane abane-Autism Do, Too

-Delile

• I-neurodivergence yami iyingxenye yokuthi ngingubani - hhayi ukukhubazeka
• Ngifihla kanjani i-autism yami ukuze ngingene
• Izindleko zokuzenzisa esidlangalaleni

Nakhu ukubona ngaphakathi kwe-neurodivergent yami - hhayi ukukhubazeka - ubuchopho.

Angifundi kakhulu nge-autism. Akusenjalo.

Ngenkathi ngiqala ukuzwa ukuthi ngine-Asperger's syndrome futhi "ngangisebenza," njengoba abantu bethanda ukusho, ngafunda noma yini engingayithola. Ngaze ngangenela iqembu le- “support” eliku-inthanethi labantu abane-autism.

Ngenkathi ngibona ezinye zezici nezinkinga ezichazwe kuma-athikili, amajenali, kanye nesithangami somphakathi weqembu lokusekelwa, angikaze ngizibone ngokugcwele kunoma yikuphi.

Angikwazanga ukubheka wonke amabhokisi azosongela ubuntu bami abe yiphakethe elicocekile elinelebula lesixwayiso elifundeka kanje, "Fragile, handle with care." Ngokwazi kwami ​​kulokhu engangikufunda, ngangingafani nhlobo nabo bonke abanye abantu abane-autistic emhlabeni.

Bengingangeni ndawo. Noma ngicabanga kanjalo.

I-neurodivergence yami iyingxenye yokuthi ngingubani - hhayi ukukhubazeka

Abantu bavame ukufuna ukubiza i-autism ngesifo, ukukhubazeka, noma mhlawumbe isifo.

Ngafunda okuthile kanye nge-anti-vaxxer, ngithi imishanguzo ingadala i-autism (hhayi iqiniso), nayo engavimbela ingane yakho ekubeni yilokho ebingaba yikho.

Ukujika okuthakazelisayo kwebinzana, konke abangaba yikho. Njengokungathi i-autistic ikuvimbela ekubeni uphelele - noma ngokwakho.

I-Neurodivergence, noma i-autism, akuyona into ehlukile kulokho engiyikho. Kungenye nje yezinto engenza ngibe yilokhu engiyikho.

Ngiphelele futhi ngiphelele - kufaka phakathi i-neurodivergence yami - hhayi yize kunjalo. Empeleni ngicabanga ukuthi ngaphandle kwayo, bengingeke ngibe yimi ngokuphelele.

Imvamisa, abantu abacabangi ukuthi ngise-spectrum nhlobo, ikakhulukazi ngoba akuhlali kubukeka ngendlela abacabanga ukuthi kufanele ngayo ngaso sonke isikhathi.

Futhi, ngikwazi kahle ukushintsha indlela engiziphatha ngayo ngilingise izinkambiso ezivamile zenhlalo - noma ngabe kuzwakala kungaqondakali kimi noma kungahambisani nalokho empeleni funa ukwenza noma ukusho. Abantu abaningi abane-autistic banjalo.

Kuhle kakhulu yonke into engiyenzayo lapho emphakathini ngakho akekho ocabanga ukuthi ngixakile. Mhlawumbe ngizohlala ngishintsha indlela engiziphatha ngayo, ngoba kulula ngokuhamba kwesikhathi. Ngoba ukube angizange, cishe bengingeke ngibe nomsebenzi noma impilo enginayo manje.

Ucwaningo lwango-2016 luthole ukuthi abesifazane babonakala benekhono ikakhulukazi kulokhu. Lokho kungaba esinye sezizathu zokuthola ukuxilongwa kwe-autism noma ukuthola ukuxilongwa kamuva empilweni.

Angikaze ngicabange ikakhulukazi ukuthi ezinye zezinto engizenzayo lapho phakathi kwabanye abantu kungathathwa njengokuzifihla. Kepha, ngenkathi ngifunda leso sifundo ngokuzifihla, ngabona ukuthi sikhulume ngezinto ezimbalwa engizenzayo esidlangalaleni ukuthi zivele njengabo bonke abantu.

Ngifihla kanjani i-autism yami ukuze ngingene

Thina bantu abane-neurodivergent kaningi sinesikhathi esinzima sokubheka iso. Indlela enhle yokufihla lokhu - nento engiyenza kaningi - ukubukeka phakathi amehlo omunye umuntu. Imvamisa, abakuboni lokhu kugudluka okuncane ekubukeni. Konke kubonakala "kuyinto ejwayelekile" kubo.

Lapho ngingakhululeki esimweni senhlalo ngenxa yomsindo omningi nokunye ukukhuthazeka, isifiso sami ukubaleka noma ukuhlehla masinyane (futhi, njengoba kubukwa abanye, ngonya) ekhoneni eliphephile, elithulile.

Kepha ukuze ngigweme ukwenza lokhu, ngibamba izandla zami ngokuqinile phambi kwami ​​- ngiziqinise impela. Ngichoboza iminwe yesinye isandla ngesinye, kuze kube seqophelweni lokuthi kubuhlungu. Ngemuva kwalokho ngikwazi ukugxila ebuhlungwini bese ngicindezela isifiso sokubaleka, ukuze ngibonwe njengodelelayo.

Abantu abaningi be-neurodivergent banemikhaza emincane, isenzo esithile esincane abasenza kaninginingi. Lapho nginovalo, ngiyazungezisa izinwele zami, njalo ngesandla sami sokudla phakathi komunwe wami wesibili nowesithathu. Ngihlala nginakho. Kakhulu ngigqoka izinwele zami nge-ponytail ende, ngakho-ke ngizungezisa yonke i-hunk.

Uma ukuzulazula kuqala ukuphuma esandleni (abantu bagqolozele), ngigoqa izinwele zami ngebhanisi ngesandla bese ngiyibamba lapho, ngibambe kanzima ngokwanele ukuze kube buhlungu nje okuncane.

Ukuze ngibe ngcono ekuphenduleni ngendlela abantu abalindele ngayo, ngizijwayeza ukuba nezingxoxo ekhaya. Ngizijwayeza ukuhleka nokuvuma ngekhanda futhi ngisho izinto ezinjengokuthi, "O nkosi yami, ngempela ?!" nokuthi, "Hhayi, akazange!"

Ngihlala ngizizwa ngingaqondakali njalo lapho kufanele ngikhiphe intambo ende yezindlela zokubhekana, ngokulandelana. Ngithola lo muzwa omangazayo wokuba ngaphandle kwami ​​futhi ngizibukele ngibenza. Ngifuna ukuhlebeza endlebeni yami, ngizitshele ukuthi ngithini lapho ngiphendula othile, kepha angikwazi ukusondela ngokwanele.

Izindleko zokuzenzisa esidlangalaleni

Abaphenyi abavela kulolo cwaningo lwango-2016 bathole ukuthi konke lokhu kuzifihla njalo kuvame ukuza nezindleko, njengokukhathala, ukukhuphuka kwengcindezi, ukuncibilika ngenxa yokugcwala ngokweqile emphakathini, ukukhathazeka, ukudangala, futhi "nomthelela omubi ekuthuthukiseni ubunikazi bomuntu."

Ngithola ingxenye yokugcina ithakazelisa. Ngicabanga ukuthi zonke ezinye “izindleko” zifundeka ngokufana nalezo zixwayiso ezisohlwini lwemithi emisha neyisimangaliso oyibona ikhangiswa kuthelevishini (kukhishwe isex sex drive).

Angicabangi ukuthi konke ukuzifihla kwami ​​kube nomthelela omubi ekukhuleni kwami ​​kobunikazi, kodwa ngiyazi ukuthi iningi lezindaba zami zobusha zazinenkulumo ethi, "Konke engangikufuna kwakungukuthi kube ngokoqobo."

Angikaze ngicabange ukuthi kungani ngisebenzisa le nkulumo kaningi. Kodwa uma ngibheka emuva, ngicabanga ukuthi bekuyindlela nje yami yokwamukela lelo qiniso lokuthi bengingafani nabanye abangane bami. Isikhathi eside, bengicabanga ukuthi bangokoqobo ngokwengeziwe, bathembeke kakhulu kunami.

Ososayensi manje bayazi ukuthi abanye abantu abane-autistic bazizwa empeleni Okuningi imizwa kunabantu abavamile. Ngezindlela eziningi, sihambisana kakhulu nama-nuances and up and down we-psyches yalabo abasizungezile.

Ngicabanga ukuthi iqiniso lelo. Elinye lamakhono ami belilokhu likwazi ukubona izinto ngezindlela eziningi. Ngiyakwazi ukuphuma kimi ngibone ukuthi omunye umuntu uvelaphi. Futhi ngiyakuzwa lokho abazizwa ngakho.

Ngakho-ke, yebo, ngikahle ngokushintsha indlela engiziphethe ngayo ukuze bangabi mnandi. Uma benethezekile, nami ngiyakuzwa lokho, bese sobabili sikhululeke kakhudlwana.

Kumele ngiqaphele, kepha, ngoba wonke lowo muzwa kwesinye isikhathi ungaba mkhulu.

Kepha ngiyazi ukuthi ngiyiphatha kanjani. Ukuzifihla kungakhathaza kwesinye isikhathi kepha, njengesethulo, ukuhlala nje nabanye abantu isikhathi eside ngaphandle kwekhefu kungakhathaza.

Angikuhlukanisi nokuzifihla kwami ​​ekuzijabuliseni kwami. Bayinto yephakeji, kimi, i-neurodivergent introvert, edinga izikhathi ezinesizungu zesikhathi sodwa ukuzishaja ngemuva kwalokho.

Lokho akusho ukuthi kukhona okungahambi kahle ngami.

Igama engilizonda kakhulu uma lihlotshaniswa ne-autism "lilimele."

Angicabangi ukuthi abantu abane-autistic balimele. Ngicabanga nje ukuthi babona umhlaba ngokuhlukile kunabantu abangenayo i-autistic. Ukuba yi-atypical akusho ukuthi sinamaphutha.

Kulelo nothi, enye yezinto epholile ngokuba ne-neurodivergent ukuthi cishe ngaso sonke isikhathi ngikwazi ukubona omunye umuntu we-neurodivergent - ngisho nomuntu ozifihla nje futhi futhi ngokufutheka njengami.

Angiqiniseki ukuthi yini lena engicebisa ngayo noma ngibasuse: mhlawumbe ukuphrinta kwabo okuthile, ukushova, ukubamba ngesandla okusobala. Kodwa lapho kwenzeka, kuhlale kunalo mzuzu omuhle lapho ngibona ukuthi bayangazi, futhi ngiyababona. Futhi sibukana emehlweni omunye nomunye (yebo, ngempela) bese sicabanga, “Ah yebo. Ngiyakubona."

UVanessa ungumbhali nomgibeli wamabhayisikili ozinze eNew York City. Ngesikhathi sakhe sokuphumula, usebenza njengomthungi nomenzi wephethini wefilimu nethelevishini.