Izindleko Eziphezulu Zokungazali: Abesifazane Basengozini Yokuqothuka Enganeni

-Delile

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Lapho eneminyaka engama-30 ubudala, u-Ali Barton kwakungafanele abe nenkinga yokukhulelwa nokubeletha ingane enempilo. Kodwa kwesinye isikhathi imvelo ayibambisani futhi izinto ziyabheda-ukuzala kuka-Ali kulokhu. Eminyakeni emihlanu nezingane ezimbili kamuva, izinto ziye zasebenza ngendlela ejabulisa kunazo zonke. Kepha bekukhona izingqinamba ezithile ezinkulu endleleni, kufaka phakathi isamba esikhulu semali engaphezulu kwama- $ 50,000. Izingane zakhe ezimbili ezinhle zikufanele ukukhokhelwa yonke imali, uthi, kepha kufanele yini kubize imali engaka ukuthola ingane nje? Futhi kungani ukwelashwa kwenzalo kubiza kangaka?

U-Ali nomyeni wakhe bashada ekuqaleni kuka-2012 futhi ngoba uneminyaka engu-11 ubudala banquma ukuqala umndeni wabo zisuka nje. Ngenxa yesifo sokuzilimaza esidinga ukwelashwa kwama-steroid nsuku zonke, ubengazange abe nesikhathi isikhashana. Kepha ubemncane futhi ephilile ngokwanele ngakho-ke wabona ukuthi izinto zizolunga. Waphuma emithini yakhe futhi wazama izindlela zokwelapha eziningana zamahomoni ukuze aqalise umjikelezo wakhe wokuya esikhathini. Kepha akusebenzanga lutho. Ekupheleni konyaka wayebonana nodokotela we-endocrinologist wokuzala owancoma ukuthi lo mbhangqwana usebenzise imithi yokwelapha inzalo.

Umbhangqwana wanquma ukuqala uzame i-IUI (intrauterine insemination), inqubo lapho isidoda sowesilisa sijova ngokuqondile esibelethweni sowesifazane ngepayipi. I-IUI iyindlela eshibhile, yenza isilinganiso esingu-$900 ngaphandle komshwalense. Kodwa ama-ovari ka-Ali enziwe Okuningi kakhulu amaqanda, okwandisa ubungozi bokukhulelwa okuningi futhi kungadala ubungozi bezempilo kubo bobabili umama nezingane. Ngakho-ke, udokotela wakhe uphakamise ukuthi ushintshele ku-IVF (in vitro fertilization), evumela ukulawula okwengeziwe ezingozini zokukhulelwa okuningi. Ku-IVF, amaqanda esifazane avuselelwa ngokwelashwa ukuthi enze amaqanda amaningi avuthwe bese exutshwa nesidoda esitsheni se-petri. Umbungu owodwa noma ngaphezulu ovundisiwe ube usufakwa esibelethweni sowesifazane. Inezinga lokuphumelela eliphakeme-amaphesenti ayi-10 kuye kwangama-40 ngokuya ngeminyaka kamama-kepha iza nenani lentengo eliphakeme kakhulu, elinganiselwa ku- $ 12,500, ngaphezu kwe- $ 3,000 noma kunjalo emithini. (Izindleko ze-IVF ziyahlukahluka ngesifunda, uhlobo, udokotela, nobudala bomama. Thola isilinganiso esinembe kakhudlwana salokho okungabiza wena ngalesi sibali sokubala se-IVF.)

U-Ali wadlula ezine imijikelezo ye-IVF ngaphansi konyaka, kodwa kwakuyingozi eyakhokha.

“Kwakuyisikhathi esimnyama kakhulu, umzuliswano ngamunye wawuba mubi kakhulu,” usho kanje. "Umzuliswano wokugcina sithole iqanda elilodwa kuphela ebelisebenza, amathuba abemancane kakhulu, kodwa ngendlela eyisimangaliso kusebenze ngakhulelwa."

Ezenzakalweni ezesabekayo, maphakathi nokukhulelwa, u-Ali wangena ekuhlulekeni kwenhliziyo. Indodana yakhe yazalwa ngaphambi kwesikhathi futhi wayedinga ukufakelwa inhliziyo ngemuva kwalokho, kodwa bobabili basinda ngenjabulo.

Kepha ngenkathi umama nengane benza okuhle, izikweletu bezilokhu zengeza. Ngenhlanhla abakwa-Bartons, bahlala eMassachusetts onomthetho ogunyaza ukwelashwa kokungatholi ukuthi kukhavwe ngabashwalense bezempilo. (Izifunda ezingu-15 kuphela ezinemithetho efanayo ezincwadini.) Noma kunjalo, ngisho nangomshuwalense wezempilo, izinto zazimba eqolo.

Bese-ke bethatha isinqumo sokuthi bafuna ukuba nengane yesibili. Ngenxa yezinkinga zezempilo zika-Ali, odokotela bancoma ukuthi angaphinde akhulelwe. Ngakho-ke abakwaBarton banquma ukusebenzisa umuntu oshade naye ukuba athwale ingane yabo. Ekuzalweni ngokwesivumelwano, imibungu evundisiwe yenziwa kusetshenziswa inqubo efanayo neye-IVF. Kepha esikhundleni sokuzifaka esibelethweni sikamama, zifakwa esibelethweni somunye wesifazane. Futhi izindleko zingaba yizinkanyezi.

Ama-ejensi e-surrogacy angakhokhisa u- $ 40K kuya ku- $ 50K nje ukufanisa abazali ne-surrogate. Ngemuva kwalokho, abazali kufanele bakhokhe imali ye-surrogate- $ 25K kuye ku- $ 50K ngokuya ngesipiliyoni nendawo. Ngaphezu kwalokho, kufanele bathenge unyaka wokuphila nomshuwalense wezokwelapha we-surrogate ($ 4K), bakhokhele ukudluliswa kwe-IVF kumuntu onelungelo lokuthi kungenzeka ukuthi kuzodingeka umjikelezo ongaphezu kowodwa ($ 7K kuye ku- $ 9K ngomjikelezo ngamunye), bakhokhe emithini yomama womnikeli kanye ne-surrogate ($ 600 kuya ku- $ 3K, kuya ngomshuwalense), ukuqasha abameli bobabili abazali be-biological kanye ne-surrogate (cishe u- $ 10K), futhi kuhlangatshezwane nezidingo ezincane zommeleli njengemali yesibonelelo sezingubo futhi izimali zokupaka zokuvakasha kukadokotela. Futhi-ke, lokho akubalwa nokubalwa kwemali edingekayo ukuthenga izinto ezijwayelekile njengesibhedlela, isihlalo semoto, nezingubo lapho ingane ifika.

U-Ali ube nenhlanhla yokuthi ukwazile ukuthola owazalelwa yena, uJessica Silva, ngeqembu leFacebook weqa imali ye-ejensi. Kodwa kwakusadingeka bakhokhe okusele ephaketheni. Abakwa-Bartons bahlanza imali yabo ababeyilondolozile futhi amalungu omndeni anomusa anikela ngokunye.

UJessica ubelethe ingane uJessie ekuqaleni konyaka futhi ufanele konke ukuzidela, kusho u-Ali. (Yebo, abakwaBarton baqamba indodakazi yabo ngegama lozalelwe owayeyithwele, bethi bayithanda njengomkhaya.) Noma kunjalo, nakuba bathola injabulo yabo phakade, akulula.

“Bengilokhu ngiyonga kodwa lesi sigameko singifundise ukuthi kubaluleke kangakanani ukusebenzisa imali ezintweni ezibalulekile njengomndeni wethu,” usho kanje. "Asiphili impilo yobukhazikhazi. Asithathi amaholide amahle noma sithenge izimpahla ezibizayo; sijabule ngezinto ezilula."

Ngokuqinisekile amaBarton akubona bodwa abalwa nezindleko eziphakeme zokwelashwa kokuzala. Cishe amaphesenti ayishumi abesifazane abanenkinga yokungatholi abantwana, ngokusho kweHhovisi Lase-US Lezempilo Yabesifazane. Futhi lelo nani kulindeleke ukuthi likhuphuke njengoba isilinganiso seminyaka yokubeletha sikhuphuka. Nakuba iminyaka ka-Ali yayingeyona imbangela yokungabi nabantwana kwakhe, kunjalo kuyinto imbangela ekhulayo e-U.S. Ngo-2015, amaphesenti angama-20 ezinsana azalwa ngabesifazane abaneminyaka engaphezu kwengama-35, iminyaka lapho izinga leqanda lehla kakhulu futhi nesidingo sokwelashwa kokuzala sikhula kakhulu.

Abesifazane abaningi abakuqondi lokhu, sibonga ngokwengxenye isiko lethu lodumo elenza izingane ezisanda kuzalwa zibukeke zilula noma ezigqamisa ukwelashwa kokuzala nokuzala ngokwesimo sangempela njengezinto ezijabulisayo ezibonisa imigqa yesakhiwo (sawubona Kim noKanye) kunokuba kube njengezezimali ziyizenzakalo ezinzima ngokomzwelo, kusho uSherry Ross, MD, ob-gyn e-Providence Saint John's Health Centre e-Santa Monica, CA, kanye nombhali we U-ology.

"Ngenxa yezinkundla zokuxhumana sibona izingane ezineminyaka engu-46 zizala amawele kanti kuyadukisa. Cishe akuwona amaqanda azo lawo. Unewindi lokuzala eligcina selineminyaka engu-40, emva kwalokho izinga lokuphuphuma kwesisu liphelile. U-50% uyachaza.

"Sekuyinto engathandeki ukuthi owesifazane athi ufuna ukuba nomndeni ngaphambi komsebenzi wakhe. Siyakhuthazwa ukuthi sibe nesimo sengqondo sokuthi 'uma kuhloswe ukuthi kwenzeke', kuyilapho iqiniso liwukuthi kungaba ngumsebenzi omningi, ukuzidela, nemali ukuthola ingane. Kufanele unqume ngempela ukuthi ufuna izingane. Futhi uma wenza kanjalo, kungakuhle ukuthi uzihlelele, "usho kanje. “Sifundisa abantu besifazane okuningi mayelana nokuhlela ukuvimbela ukukhulelwa, kodwa bese sibafundisa cishe lutho mayelana nokuhlela ngoba eyodwa ngoba asifuni ukubacasula? Akuyona ipolitiki, yisayensi. "

Uyanezela ukuthi odokotela kufanele babe phambili kakhulu ezigulini zabo mayelana nazo zonke izici zokuhlela umndeni, kufaka phakathi amazinga okuphumelela kanye nezindleko zangempela zomhlaba zezinketho ezinjengokubhanga kwamaqanda, ukwelashwa kokuzala, isidoda noma abanikeli bamaqanda, nokuzala.

Kodwa ingxenye enzima kunazo zonke ku-Ali ngokwezimali kwakungeyona imali uqobo lwayo, kwakuwumthelela ongokomzwelo. "Kwakunzima impela ukubhala isheke njalo ngenyanga [ngibhalela uSilva] kokuthile enganginomuzwa wokuthi bekufanele ngabe ngiyakwazi ukuzenzela," usho kanje. "Kubuhlungu lapho umzimba wakho ungakwazi ukwenza lokho obekufanele ukwenze."

U-Ali, owayengumelaphi ngaphambi kokuba abe nezingane, uthi uzizwa sengathi une-PTSD kulo lonke uhlelo lokuzala, wengeza ngokuthi ngelinye ilanga angathanda ukuvula umkhuba ohloselwe ukusiza abantu kukho konke ukufakelwa nokuzala. ukwelashwa.

Ukuze ufunde kabanzi ngendaba ka-Ali, hlola incwadi yakhe ethi Against Doctor's Orders.

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