Ukuthola nokwazi ingane yakho yangaphakathi

-Delile

• 1. Gcina umqondo ovulekile
• 2. Funa isiqondiso ezinganeni
• 3. Phinda ubuke izinkumbulo zobuntwana
• Ukuzivocavoca umzimba
• 4. Chitha isikhathi wenza izinto obukade uzijabulela
• 5. Khuluma nengane yakho engaphakathi
• 6. Khuluma nomelaphi
• Okubalulekile

Mhlawumbe uke wakhuluma izikhathi ezimbalwa ngengane yakho engaphakathi.

"Ngithumela ingane yami engaphakathi," ungasho, ngenkathi ugxuma kuma-swing epaki, uxosha umuntu ohlala naye endlini ngendlu ngesibhamu seNerf, noma ungene echibini ugqoke izingubo zakho.

Abaningi balandelela umqondo wengane yangaphakathi kumuntu wezifo zengqondo uCarl Jung, owachaza i-archetype yengane emsebenzini wakhe. Uxhumanise le ngane yangaphakathi nokuhlangenwe nakho okudlule nezinkumbulo zokungabi nabumsulwa, ukudlala, nobuciko, kanye nethemba ngekusasa.

Abanye ochwepheshe le ngane engaphakathi ayivezi nje ingane yakho uqobo, kepha ulwazi lwakho oluphila kuzo zonke izigaba zokuphila. Ingane engaphakathi nayo yaziwa njengomthombo wamandla, ngoba amava okuqala angadlala indima enkulu ekukhuleni kwakho njengomuntu omdala.

Lokhu kungahamba ngazo zombili izindlela, kepha: Lapho okuhlangenwe nakho kobuntwana kukuthinta kabi, ingane yakho engaphakathi ingaqhubeka nokuthwala la manxeba uze ubhekane nomthombo.

"Ngamunye wethu unengane engaphakathi, noma indlela yokuphila," kusho uDkt. Diana Raab, isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo nomlobi ocwaningayo. "Ukuxhumana nengane yakho engaphakathi kungasiza ekukhuliseni inhlalakahle futhi kulethe ukukhanya empilweni."

Uyachaza ukuthi ingane engaphakathi enempilo ingabonakala idlala, ifana nengane, futhi imnandi, kuyilapho ingane engaphakathi elimele noma ehlukumezekile ingase ibhekane nezinselelo njengomuntu omdala, ikakhulukazi uma idalwa yimicimbi eletha izinkumbulo zamanxeba adlule.

Ukulungele ukufinyelela enganeni yakho engaphakathi? Zama lezi zindlela eziyisithupha.

1. Gcina umqondo ovulekile

KULUNGILE ukuzizwa ungaqiniseki kancane ngomqondo wengane engaphakathi. Kodwa akudingeki ubheke le "ngane" njengomuntu ohlukile noma ubuntu. Esikhundleni salokho, kubheke njengokumelela kokuhlangenwe nakho kwakho kwangaphambilini.

Kubantu abaningi, okwedlule kuqukethe ukuxuba kwemicimbi emihle nemibi. Lezi zimo zisiza ekwakheni umlingiswa wakho futhi ziqondise izinqumo nezinjongo zakho njengoba ukhula futhi ekugcineni ufinyelela ebudaleni.

iphakamisa ukuthi lokhu okuhlangenwe nakho kwasekuqaleni akugcini nje ngokubamba iqhaza elibalulekile ekuthuthukisweni. Ukuqonda okujulile kobuntu bakho bangaphambilini kungaba futhi ukhiye wokujabulela impilo nentuthuko enempilo kamuva empilweni.

Ngokusho kukaKim Egel, umelaphi eCardiff, eCalifornia, noma ngubani angaxhumana nengane yakhe yangaphakathi futhi azuze kule nqubo. Kepha ukumelana noma ukungakholelwa ekutheni ungathintana kwesinye isikhathi kungaletha isithiyo.

Uma unokungabaza okuthile, lokho kuvamile ngokuphelele. Zama ukubheka umsebenzi wezingane zangaphakathi njengendlela yokuhlola ubudlelwano bakho nesikhathi esedlule, akukho okunye. Lo mbono ungakusiza ukuthi usondele kule nqubo ngesimo sokulangazelela.

2. Funa isiqondiso ezinganeni

Izingane zingakufundisa okuningi ngempilo, kusuka ekutholeni injabulo ezintweni ezincane kuya ekuphileni okwamanje.

Uma unenkinga yokucabanga emuva kokuhlangenwe nakho okujabulisayo kobuntwana, ukuzibandakanya ekudlaleni nezingane kungasiza ekuvuseleleni lezi zinkumbulo futhi kukuphinde uxhumane nenjabulo yezinsuku ezilula.

Noma yiluphi uhlobo lokudlala lungazuza. Imidlalo efana nethegi noma ukucasha ingakusiza ukuthi uhambe futhi uzizwe ukhululekile futhi ungazibambi futhi. Ukudlala okholwayo kungakusiza ukuthi ucabange emuva emibonweni yobuntwana nokuthi yayisho ukuthini kuwe.

Uma uhlangabezane nobunzima obuthile noma izikhathi zokuhlukumezeka noma zokuphazamiseka, ngokwesibonelo, kungenzeka ukuthi ucabange izimo ezithile ezikusizile ukuthi ubhekane nazo futhi uzizwe uvikeleke kakhulu.

Ukwenza isikhathi sokudlala nezingane zakho akugcini ngokwandisa umuzwa wakho wokudlala nokukhuluma kwentsha. Futhi kunomthelela omuhle enhlalakahleni yabo, ngokwengxenye ngokunikela ekuthuthukisweni kwe- yabo umuntu wangaphakathi.

Uma ungenazo izingane zakho, ungahle uchithe isikhathi nezingane zabangani bakho noma izihlobo zakho.

Ukubuka ama-movie noma izinhlelo zethelevishini kusukela ebuntwaneni bakho, noma ukuphinda ufunde ezinye zezincwadi zakho ozithandayo, nakho kungaba yindlela ewusizo yokuvuselela imizwa emihle.

3. Phinda ubuke izinkumbulo zobuntwana

Ukuhlola izinkumbulo zakudala kungakusiza nokuthi uxhumane nengane yakho yangaphakathi.

Izithombe nezinye izikhumbuzo zingakusiza ukuthi ubuyele esikhaleni esingokomzwelo esiboniswe ezithombeni nasemagameni esikhathi esedlule, kuchaza u-Egel. Ukubheka emuva, ungazama imisebenzi efana nokuphenya ngama-albhamu ezithombe kanye nezincwadi zonyaka zesikole, noma ukuphinda ufunde amadayari wezingane.

Uma abazali bakho, izingane zakini, noma abangani bakho bobuntwana benezindaba abangabelana ngazo, lokhu kukhumbula kungahle kuvuse imizwa nezinkumbulo owazikhohlwa ngokuphelele.

U-Egel futhi uncoma ukubonwa, ngokuvamile okuyingxenye yemikhuba yokuzindla, njengendlela enhle yokuxhuma kabusha.

Ukuzivocavoca umzimba

Zibone useyingane, usebenzisa izithombe ezindala ukuze uzikhombise uma kudingeka. Faka imininingwane endaweni yesehlakalo ngokucabanga ngengubo oyithandayo, ithoyizi olithandayo, noma indawo othokozele ukuyivakashela. Cabanga ukuthi ubukuphi, ubenani, nokuthi wenzani futhi uzizwa kanjani.

Ingabe uzizwa ulahlekile, ungaqiniseki, noma uwedwa? Noma unamandla, okuqukethwe, futhi unethemba?

Uma uthola ingane yakho yangaphakathi endaweni yokuhlupheka, ungabasiza belapheke. Kepha ingane yakho yangaphakathi nayo ingaboleka wena amandla: Ukuvuselela imizwa yobusha yokumangala, ithemba, nenjabulo elula empilweni kungasiza ekuqiniseni ukuzethemba nenhlalakahle.

4. Chitha isikhathi wenza izinto obukade uzijabulela

Lapho wazi ingane yakho yangaphakathi, cabanga ngezinto ezikulethele injabulo ebuntwaneni.

Mhlawumbe uhambe ngebhayisikili uye emfuleni njalo ehlobo nabangane bakho abakhulu ukubhukuda noma ukudoba. Noma mhlawumbe ubuthandile ukuchitha ukufundwa kwamaholide ehlobo ekamelweni elisophahleni logogo nomkhulu wakho. Mhlawumbe uchithe amahora amaningi kwezobuciko, noma u-roller-skated esitolo sekhoneni ukuze uthole ukudla okulula ngemuva kwesikole.

Njengengane, mhlawumbe wenza izinto eziningi ukuzijabulisa. Awuzange unayo ukuzenza, ubufuna nje. Kepha ungaba nobunzima bokukhumbula okokugcina lapho wenze okuthile empilweni yakho yokuba mdala ngoba nje kukujabulisile.

Imisebenzi yokudala efana nokufaka imibala, ukwenza i-doodling, noma ukudweba kungasiza, futhi. Uma uvumela ingqondo yakho esebenzayo ukuthi iphumule, imizwa ovame ukungayicabangi ingavela kubuciko bakho, ezandleni zakho.

Eminye yale mizwa ingahlangana ezingxenyeni ezingcwatshiwe noma ezikhohliwe, njengengane yakho yangaphakathi.

5. Khuluma nengane yakho engaphakathi

Enye yezindlela ezinhle kakhulu zokuxhumana nengane yakho yangaphakathi ukuvula ingxoxo.

"Uma sinezilonda ngenxa yokuhlukumezeka, ukubhala ngalokho kuhlukumezeka kungasisiza sixhumane nengane ngaphakathi," kuchaza uRaab.

“Ngalesi sikhathi sokuxhuma kabusha, singena futhi mhlawumbe siqonde ezinye zezizathu zokwesaba kwabantu abadala, ukwesaba, nezindlela zokuphila. Ukuqonda ingane yethu engaphakathi kusisiza ukuthi sibone izizathu zokuthi kungani sibe yilokho esiyikho namuhla. "

Ukubhala kungaba yithuluzi elinamandla lokuxhuma nengane yakho yangaphakathi, ngakho-ke awudingi ukukhuluma ngokuzwakalayo - yize ungakwazi, uma kusiza.

Ukubhala incwadi, noma ukubhala ngokukhululeka ngezinkumbulo zobuntwana, kungakusiza ukuthi uhlole okwedlule futhi uhlele ngemizwa ehambisanayo.

Zama ukubamba umcabango othile ekhanda lakho ukuze uqondise incwadi yakho noma ukuzivocavoca kwejenali, noma usebenzise ukubhala kwe-stream-of-consciousness ukuveza noma imiphi imicabango efika engqondweni.

Ungakwazi nokukufaka njengesenzo semibuzo nezimpendulo. Vumela umuntu wakho omdala ukuthi abuze ingane yakho imibuzo yakho, bese ulalela ukuthi ingane iphendula kanjani.

Mhlawumbe ingane yakho uqobo incane, isengozini, futhi idinga ukuvikelwa nokuxhaswa. Mhlawumbe, ngakolunye uhlangothi, kuyachuma ngenjabulo. Ukuphendula noma imiphi imibuzo ingane yakho enayo kungakusiza ukuthi uqale ukuphulukisa ukukhubazeka kwangaphakathi noma ukucindezeleka.

Kuyinto evamile ukuzizwa unovalo oluncane ngalokho ingane yakho yangaphakathi efuna ukukuhlanganyela, ikakhulukazi uma ngabe wangcwaba okuhlangenwe nakho okungalungile okwedlule noma imizwelo enzima.

Kepha cabanga ngalokhu kuvivinya njengendlela yokwakha nokuqinisa isibopho phakathi komuntu wakho wamanje nengane yakho.

6. Khuluma nomelaphi

Uma ukufinyelela enganeni yakho yangaphakathi kubangela ukungaphatheki kahle noma imizwa ebuhlungu, kufaka phakathi usizi, izinkumbulo ezihlukumezayo, nemizwa yokungabi nalusizo noma ukwesaba, u-Egel uncoma ukuthi afune ukuqondiswa kuchwepheshe oqeqeshiwe wezempilo yengqondo.

"Uchwepheshe angakunikeza ukwesekwa futhi akwazise ngezindlela zokubhekana nezinkinga ezingakusiza ubhekane nokuhlukumezeka nemizwa yangaphambilini," esho.

Abanye abelaphi bangaba nolwazi oluningi nokuqeqeshwa ngomsebenzi wezingane zangaphakathi kunabanye, kuchaza u-Egel. "Ukubuza abangahle babe ngabelaphi mayelana nokuhlangenwe nakho kwabo ngomsebenzi wezingane zangaphakathi kungakusiza ukuthi uthole umuntu ofanele wokusekela ukukhula nokuphulukiswa kwakho," esho.

Uma kungenzeka, funa umelaphi onolwazi ngokwelashwa kwengane ngaphakathi. Le ndlela ethile isebenza kusuka emcabangweni wokuthi izimpawu zempilo yengqondo, ukukhathazeka kobudlelwano, nokunye ukucindezeleka ngokomzwelo kuvame ukuvela ebunzimeni obungaxazululeki noma imizwelo ecindezelwe.

Ukufunda "ukukhulisa" ingane yakho yangaphakathi ekwelashweni kungakusiza ukuthi uqale ukubhekana nokuxazulula lezi zinkinga.

Okubalulekile

Ukuthola ingane yakho yangaphakathi akusho ukuthi awukakhuli noma awufuni ukukhula.

Esikhundleni salokho, kungasiza ukwenza kube lula ukuqonda okuhlangenwe nakho kwakho kwabantu abadala, ukuphulukisa ezinhlungwini zakudala, nokusingatha noma yiziphi izinselelo zesikhathi esizayo ngokuzizwela.

Njengoba ukungena kuloku kwazi ngengane yakho kungakusiza ukuthi uphinde uthole injabulo nokuzibuza, ungakubheka kanjalo njengendlela yokuzinakekela.

Ungahle ungaboni noma uzwe ingane yakho yangaphakathi ngokucacile, kepha ukwakha ukuxhumana nale ngxenye yakho kungaholela ekubeni namandla, okuphelele ngokwengeziwe.

UCrystal Raypole wake wasebenza njengombhali nomhleli weGoodTherapy. Imikhakha yakhe enentshisekelo ifaka izilimi nezincwadi zase-Asia, ukuhunyushwa kwesiJapane, ukupheka, isayensi yemvelo, ukuzethemba ngocansi, nempilo yengqondo. Ngokukhethekile, uzibophezele ekusizeni ukunciphisa ukucwaswa okuzungeze izingqinamba zezempilo yengqondo.