ULindsey & Tiger: Kungani Abesifazane Abanamandla Bajola Nabesilisa Ababuthakathaka

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Ungacabanga ukuthi amakhosikazi angama-27 alingana namafulege abomvu acwazimulayo angama-27—njengalabo umgijimi wokushibilika eqhweni uLindsey Vonn ovika ngobuchule ku-slalom enkulu-ukuze ahlale kude, kude ne-Tiger Woods. Esikhundleni salokho uVonn oneminyaka engama-28 ubudala ukhethe ukungawanaki amaqiniso abangela amahloni nokuphazamisa kakhulu, okufaka nelilodwa lokuthi uhlela kanjani ukuthi ufana kanjani nowayengunkosikazi we-blond oneminyaka engu-37 ubudala, u-Elin Nordegren.

Ukungasho ukuthi ayikho into enjengamathuba wesibili noma ukuhlengwa okuphelele, kepha phakathi kwalezi zindaba nomculi uRihanna babuyelana nomrepha uChris Brown, owamhlasela kabi ngo-2009, asikwazi ukuzibuza: Kuyini okunamandla abesifazane badukiswa amadoda angama-scummy?

"Isizathu sokuthi abesifazane bavame ukubambelela kuma-narcissist amahle, njengoTiger Woods noChris Browns bomhlaba, yingoba bababamba ochungechungeni lwezinsuku ezinhle impela," kusho uRamani Durvasula, Ph.D., ozinze e-LA isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo yomtholampilo esinemvume nombhali wencwadi entsha Uyikho Okwenza Udle. "Ngenxa yokuthi la madoda avame ukuphumelela kakhulu, angakwazi ukukuphatha kahle, futhi ngaleyo ndlela uzithole usuxhumene nomuntu oyisishimane."

Uma esengaphansi kwesilingo sakhe, bona laba besifazane bavame ukwenza iphutha ekuziphatheni okubi okucashile-njengodlame, ukuhlukunyezwa ngamazwi, nokungathembeki-ngenxa yenkanuko. "Yichibi elidala neswitch," kusho uDurvasula. "Uma laba bantu bekhona, bakhona, kodwa uma bengekho, khohlwa ngakho."

Abameli bakaDeveli bangaphikisana nokuthi uWoods noVonn bangababili abaphelele. Thola umbhali uChris Jones uze wabhala kuTwitter ukuthi "bangumdlalo owenziwe ngesiqubulo sezulu." (IWoods ivumela uNike, isiqubulo sakhe esithi "Vele ukwenze," kuyilapho uVonn ekwi-Under Armor, esebenzisa u- "Ngizokwenza.") Mhlawumbe okusebenzela laba badlali abasezingeni eliphakeme ukuthi bangasikwa kokucwebezelayo okufanayo , indwangu yobuqhawe obuzicabangela yona.

"Abasubathi abaningi abasezingeni eliphezulu kumele babe ngama-narcissist ukuze babe nesibindi sokuphikisana nalokho abaningi abakubheka njengokungenabuntu," kusho uDurvasula. "Izikhathi eziningi, ama-narcissists enza ukubambisana okuhle ngoba adlala imidlalo efanayo, ngakho-ke akekho umuntu ozwa sengathi uyaphuthelwa." Uma kukhulunywa ngama-celebs, ikakhulukazi, noma yikuphi ukwaziswa kusakazwa kahle, ngakho-ke kuwina-zombili izinhlangothi, uyanezela. Empeleni, njengezithandani ezinamandla, ukuba ndawonye kumane kungeze into yabo enhle (mhlawumbe okuhehe uKim Kardashian kuKanye West), okwenza ubudlelwano bukhange kakhulu. Kungakho izinkanyezi zama-movie zithandana nabanye osaziwayo be-movie.

Ngoba kulula ukuwela i-jerk-cishe sonke esikwenzayo kwesinye isikhathi-nazi izimpawu ezintathu u-Durvasula asikisela ukuqaphela ukugwema ukuhehwa yilahleki:

1. Ubhajwe Ezweni Lakhe

Unezinyanga ezimbalwa ungenile futhi akakahlangani nabangane bakho, kodwa ubona abangane bakhe ngaso sonke isikhathi. Ubonakala uhlezi udla ezindaweni zokudlela azithandayo. Futhi lapho uqala ukukhuluma ngosuku olunzima emsebenzini, akabonakali ehilelekile. “Naka lezi zinto ngoba kukhombisa ukungabi nandaba nawe kanye nokuntuleka kokuxhumana,” kusho uDurvasula. "Abantu abaningi benza iphutha lokuthi ufuna nje ube yingxenye yomhlaba wakhe, kodwa lokhu kuzoba yinkinga ngokuhamba kwesikhathi."

Umthande Noma Umshiye? "Khuluma kusenesikhathi, ngaphandle kokukwenza kube umdlalo othethisayo, ukuthi ungathanda ukuthi azi abangani bakho futhi uzame ukudla okukhonzile endaweni yangakini," esho. "Uma ukuyiveza kungaholeli ekutheni enze izinguquko ezincane, lokho kuwucingo lwakho lokuvuka."

2. Ufuna Ukumguqula

Umcabango wabesifazane abaningi uthi "Ngifuna ukumhlenga" nokuthi "Ngizoba yinkosazana yakhe," kusho uDurvasula. "Bakuthola ekhanda labo ukuthi bangasiza la madoda ukuthi ashintshe abe ngcono, kodwa ingabe uyafuna ngempela ukuba nomuntu odinga ukuhlengwa?"

Umthande Noma Umshiye? "Cabanga ngokwelashwa uma lobu budlelwano busho lukhulu kuwe, kepha uma kungenjalo, phuma esihogweni ungangeni kudoti," kweluleka yena. "Abantu bangashintsha bafike ephuzwini kodwa hhayi kakhulu njengoba ungacabanga."

3. Uzizwa NjengoDoormat

Kuyinto eyodwa uma ephuze ukuya edilini lasebusuku ngoba ubhajwe kuthrafikhi, kepha kungenye uma ehlehlisa ngokweqile noma echitha izinhlelo zakho ngokuphelele ngaphandle kokukunikeza ikhanda. Okwenza izinto zibe zimbi kakhulu ukuthi awusoze wamenza lokhu-ukhombisa yonke imicimbi yakhe, njalo ngesikhathi.

Uyamthanda Noma Uyamshiya? Uma ubukhathalele lobu budlelwano, kufanele usho okuthile okufana nokuthi, 'Angikhululekile ngokuthi uhlale ufika sekwedlule isikhathi,' "kusho uDurvasula. Akudingeki ukuba kube ngundabuzekwayo; vele uthembeke futhi umtshele ukuthi kubuhlungu.Ungalindi ukuthi izinto zizilungise.

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