Isizathu Soku-1 sokuthi Abesifazane Bakhohlise

-Delile

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Ungacabanga ukuthi umshado lapho umlingani ekopela kungumshado emilenzeni yawo yokugcina, akunjalo? Ucwaningo olusha olwethulwe emhlanganweni we-109 we-American Sexological Association lucela ukwehluka. Baningi abalingani abajabule emshadweni wabo - kodwa futhi bafuna ukuthandana, kutholakale ucwaningo lwabesifazane abayi-100 abaphakathi kweminyaka engama-35 nengama-45 ubudala. (Qaphela: Thatha lokhu ngohlamvu lukasawoti, njengoba ababambiqhaza bocwaningo bebengamalungu e-AshleyMadison.com, indawo yabantu abafuna ucansi ngaphandle komshado.) Kodwa ingxenye yocwaningo ethakazelisa kakhulu? Akekho noyedwa kwabesifazane ocwaningweni ozwakalise intshisekelo yokushiya umshado wabo. Amaphesenti angamashumi ayisithupha nesikhombisa adukile ngoba befuna "inkanuko yothando" ethe xaxa.

Futhi nakuba kungase kuzwakale sengathi bekungaba nzima kakhulu ukumane uhlele ubusuku bosuku, abacwaningi abahilelekile ocwaningweni bathi akusebenzi ngaleyo ndlela. "Okutholakele okuhlala isikhathi eside kokuphathelene nobulili ukuthi ubulili nomuntu oyedwa buba yisicefe," kuchaza umbhali wocwaningo u-Eric Anderson, Ph.D., uprofesa wobudoda eNyuvesi yaseWinchester eNgilandi, kanye nesikhulu sesayensi e-AshleyMadison.com .

Futhi ngenkathi ufuna ucansi kwenye indawo kungasebenzela eminye imibhangqwana (cabanga ngoFrank noClaire Underwood ku Indlu Yamakhadi), akuyona ukuphela kwendlela yokuhamba (noma isixazululo esingcono kakhulu!). Qala, esikhundleni salokho, ngokumane ukhulume. "Imibhangqwana eminingi, ngisho nalabo abathandana ngokujulile, abayazi nje indlela yokukhuluma ngocansi," kusho uJenni Skyler, Ph.D., udokotela wezocansi nobudlelwano kanye nomqondisi we-Intimacy Institute eBoulder, CO. .

Uma wena nomlingani wakho nobabili nibonakala ningenangqondo ngale ndaba - kodwa bobabili bafuna ukuletha izinongo eziningi ekamelweni-bhalisela i-workshop esitolo sendawo socansi sosuku lwakho olulandelayo ebusuku, ochwepheshe basikisela. Kungakusiza ukuba nobabili nikhululeke ukukhuluma okukuvula-nokuthi yini okungasebenzi. Izingubo zishiyiwe, kepha ukuba nochwepheshe okhuluma ngamasu namathiphu ahlukile kungenza kube lula kuwe ukuvula emva kwekilasi futhi ujabule ngokwenza into enhle ndawonye.

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