Izeluleko ze-6 Zokukhuluma Nezingane Zakho Mayelana Nezocansi ngendlela evumayo yezocansi

-Delile

• 1. Dala isisekelo lapho wena nengane yakho nizoxoxa khona ngalezi zinto
• 2. Yethula izithombe zocansi ngaphambi kwesikhathi kunokuba ucabanga ukuthi udinga
• 3. Gcina iphimbo lakho libalulekile kodwa lingajwayelekile
• 4. Bayeke babuze imibuzo
• 5. Gcizelela umongo nemvume
• 6. Yabelana ngemithombo eyengeziwe
• Izinsizakusebenza abafundisi bezocansi batusa izingane
  
• Lezi zeluleko zingasiza ekwenzeni ingxoxo ibe yinhle nobabili

Sifaka imikhiqizo esicabanga ukuthi ilusizo kubafundi bethu. Uma uthenga ngezixhumanisi ezikuleli khasi, singathola ikhomishini encane. Nansi inqubo yethu.

Njengoba kunikezwe ukuthi abazali banikeza izingane zabo ukufinyelela kwezobuchwepheshe nakuwebhu zisencane (olunye ucwaningo luthole ukuthi ngokwesilinganiso, izingane zithola i-smartphone yazo yokuqala ineminyaka eyi-10 ubudala), ukuthola izingane nokubona i-porn online zisencane akunakugwenywa, uthi umenzi wamafilimu omdala we-indie u-Erika Lust, umnikazi nomsunguli we-Erika Lust Films ne-XConfessions.com.

"Ngenxa yesimo se-intanethi, noma ngabe ingane ifuna nje imifanekiso noma imininingwane yesayensi mayelana nemizimba, ukusebenza komzimba, noma ukuthi izingane zenziwa kanjani, i-porn imvamisa iyinombolo yosesho eyodwa noma inombolo yesibili," esho.

Kuze kube sekufika kuye, uShadeen Francis, uLMFT, owelapha umshado nomndeni obhala izifundo zemfundo yezocansi esikoleni samabanga aphansi nasesikoleni esiphakeme, uthi lapho eneminyaka eyi-11 izingane eziningi sezivezwa uhlobo oluthile lokuqukethwe kocansi online.

Ngeshwa, imfundo yezocansi kanye ne-porn akufani. "I-Porn ingasetshenziswa njengethuluzi lokufundisa ngocansi, kodwa kuhloswe ngalo ukuzijabulisa kwabantu abadala, hhayi ukufundisa," kusho uFrancis. Uma ingekho imfundo yezocansi ehlelekile noma izingxoxo eziqhubekayo ekhaya mayelana nezocansi, izingane zingadidana ngezocansi nezocansi futhi zenze imilayezo efakwe ocansini olujwayelekile ifake ngaphakathi.

Yingakho uFrancis egcizelela ukubaluleka kwabazali nabanakekeli abakhuluma nezingane zabo ngocansi nangezocansi.

Uthi: "Lapho umzali engakwazi ukukhulisa ukufunda kwezingane zakhe, kulapho bekwazi kangcono ukugxilisa izindinganiso ezinempilo nezisizayo zokulwa nolwazi oluvame ukunganembi, olungaphenduli, noma olungelona olufanele olungafundwa emhlabeni," usho kanje.

Noma kunjalo, njengomzali kungakhathaza ukukhuluma ngendaba yezocansi nengane yakho. Ngalokho engqondweni, sibeka ndawonye lo mhlahlandlela wabazali wokukhuluma nezingane ngezocansi.

Landela lawa macebiso ukugcina izingxoxo zinokuya ocansini futhi zikhululekile ngangokunokwenzeka - nobabili.

1. Dala isisekelo lapho wena nengane yakho nizoxoxa khona ngalezi zinto

Kuyavunywa, ukukhuluma nengane yakho ngezocansi can ube nesibindi.

Kepha, uma wena nengane yakho nihlala niba nezingxoxo ngezocansi, imvume, ukwamukelwa komzimba, ukuphepha ngokocansi, injabulo, ukukhulelwa, kanye nempilo yonke nokuphila kahle, izigxobo zanoma iyiphi ingxoxo ngayinye ziphansi kakhulu, kusho uFrancis.

Ukwengeza ekunciphiseni umfutho ongakhela eduze kokuba "nenkulumo yezocansi," uthi njalo ukuba nalezi zingxoxo kubalulekile ekunikezeni ingane yakho isisekelo solwazi mayelana nempilo yezocansi - umkhuba obaluleke kakhulu, ngoba imfundo yezocansi ezikoleni ayenzi ' ngivame ukukunikeza.

Futhi, lokhu kuzosiza ukukhuthaza umuzwa wokuvuleleka, ngakho-ke uma bekhubeka noma bebona izithombe ezingcolile, bazokwazi ukuza kuwe uma benemibuzo.

2. Yethula izithombe zocansi ngaphambi kwesikhathi kunokuba ucabanga ukuthi udinga

Kuleli phuzu elingenhla, ochwepheshe bayavuma ukuthi isikhathi esingcono kakhulu sokukhuluma nezingane zakho nge-porn ngaphambi empeleni bayakubona. Ngaleyo ndlela, ungabeka emqondweni noma yiziphi izithombe abangazibona futhi usize ukunciphisa noma iyiphi i-alamu, ukunengeka, noma ukudideka abangase bazizwe uma bebona izithombe ezingcolile ngaphandle kokwazi phambilini ukuthi ulwazi lolo lukhona kwasekuqaleni, kusho uFrancis.

Inkanuko igcizelela ukuthi izingxoxo eziphathelene nezocansi kufanele zenzeke isikhathi eside ngaphambi kokuthomba.

"Abazali bavame ukucabanga ukuthi unyaka we-13 noma we-14 yiminyaka elungile yokuletha [lokhu], kepha ukwethulwa kwesihloko kufanele kube eminyakeni emine noma emihlanu ngaphambili - noma ngempela lapho umzali enikeza ingane ithuba lokungena kwi-inthanethi engagadiwe," esho. uthi.

Uma ukhuluma nezingane zakho, khumbula ukuthi awuzitsheli nje kuphela ukuthi kukhona okubizwa nge-porn. Uchaza nokuthi iyini futhi ayikho, futhi uyifaka kumongo engxoxweni enkulu mayelana nemvume, ubumnandi namandla, kusho uFrancis.

3. Gcina iphimbo lakho libalulekile kodwa lingajwayelekile

Uma unokhahlo ngokweqile noma ukhathazekile, uzophinda futhi udlulisele lawo mandla enganeni yakho, okuzoyithulisa futhi okungahle kuvimbe nethuba lengxoxo phakathi kwakho.

"Musa ukuyihlazisa ingane yakho uma usola noma ufunda ukuthi ibonile izithombe zobulili ezingcolile," kusho uFrancis. Esikhundleni salokho, qonda ukuthi ilukuluku lezocansi liyingxenye yemvelo ngokuphelele yentuthuko.

"Njengompetha osebenza ngokuyinhloko nabantu abaseduze nokukhathazeka kwabo ngokobulili, kusobala ukuthi imiyalezo enamahloni neyokuya ocansini inethonya elihlala njalo emizweni yabantu yokuzihlonipha, ukutholakala kothando, impilo yengqondo, kanye nokukhetha abalingani," esho.

Ngakho-ke, esikhundleni sokusondela engxoxweni ngokuthi "umqondisi wokuqondisa izigwegwe" noma "amaphoyisa e-intanethi," ufuna ukuyikhuluma njengothisha nomqaphi.

Ngenkathi ingxoxo kufanele ikwenze kucace ukuthi amafilimu abantu abadala enzelwe izethameli zabantu abadala futhi nokwabelana ngokuqukethwe okuveza ezocansi kanye nabanye abantwana kubhekwa njengezithombe zocansi zezingane, uFrancis uthi, “Uma umane ugcizelela ukuthi akukho emthethweni noma kuvunyelwe endlini yakho, zingane bangesaba, babe namahloni noma babe nelukuluku lokwazi. ”

ULust uthi kungasiza ukuqala ingxoxo ngokuqinisekisa ukuthi ucansi nezocansi kuyinto ejwayelekile futhi engokwemvelo, nokubatshela ukuthi wena ucabangani nge-porn ejwayelekile.

Ungase uthi, “Uma ngibona izithombe ezingcolile ezivamile ngizwa ngidabukile, ngoba eziningi zalezi zithombe zikhombisa abesifazane bejeziswa. Kodwa ubulili enginabo futhi ngiyethemba ukuthi ngelinye ilanga uzoba nakho kungukuzijabulisa, hhayi ukujeziswa. ”

Enye indawo yokungena? Sebenzisa isingathekiso. "Chaza ukuthi njengoSuperman udlalwa ngumlingisi ongenamandla amakhulu empilweni yangempela, izihlabani ezingcolile ezikulawa mafilimu zingabalingisi abenza ucansi, kodwa akukhona ukuthi ucansi lwenzeka kanjani empilweni yangempela," kusho uLust.

4. Bayeke babuze imibuzo

Ingxoxo enjengale ingcono kakhulu njengaleyo: ingxoxo. Futhi ukuze okuthile kube yingxoxo, kufanele kube khona emuva naphambili.

Lokho kusho ukuthi ukuqinisa ilukuluku labo mayelana nobulili kuyinto ejwayelekile, bese ubanika isikhala sokukhuluma ngakho futhi babuze imibuzo.

Lapho bebuza imibuzo, "Bhekisa yonke imibuzo yabo njengevumelekile, bese uphendula ngolwazi olwanele ukuphendula ngokugcwele kodwa hhayi kangangoba uyangcolisa," kusho uFrancis. Abayidingi i-dissertation, kepha badinga ulwazi olunembile, oluqinile lomzimba, futhi okuhle kakhulu, olugxile enjabulweni.

Ukungayazi impendulo kulungile “Awudingi ukuba ngungoti. Udinga nje ukuhlinzeka indawo ephephile engxoxweni, ”kusho uFrancis. Ngakho-ke, uma ubuzwa into ongayazi, ungagwegwesi ukuthi awuqinisekile, kodwa uzothola futhi ulandele.

Ehlangothini le-flip, gwema ukubuza ingane yakho imibuzo eminingi kakhulu. Leli yithuba lokuthi bafunde kuwe, hhayi ukuthi ubangise abakwenzayo nabangakwaziyo, noma abanakho noma abangakubonanga.

UFrancis futhi uncoma ukugwema ukubuza ingane yakho ngani bafuna ukwazi izinto. Uthi: “Lokhu kuvulwa kwamacala okuvota kungavala izingane, ngoba kungenzeka zingafuni ukudalula ukuthi zizizwe kuphi izinto nokuthi kungani zizibuza,” usho kanje.

Futhi, bangahle bangabi nesizathu esijulile; bangavele babuze ngoba bafuna ukwazi.

5. Gcizelela umongo nemvume

Kangangokuba ungafuna ukuvikela izingane zakho ekungabini nabulungiswa nasezinhlelweni zokucindezelwa emhlabeni, ngokusho kukaFrancis, leli ithuba elihle lokuqala ukuchaza izinto ezinjengokungazethembi, ukuphikiswa ngokobuhlanga, ukuhlazeka komzimba, kanye nokukwazi, kusho uFrancis. "Ingxoxo yezocansi ingaba yingxoxo enkulu futhi ibe nomgomo omkhulu," esho.

Ngakho-ke, ungakusebenzisa lokhu njengesikhashana ukubheka ukuthi akuyona yonke imizimba ebukeka njengabalingisi be-porn noma ama-actress, futhi lokho kulungile, kusho uFrancis.

"Lokhu kungasiza abantu abasha ukuthi bangaqhathanisi imizimba yabo ekhulayo futhi bashiye indawo ethe xaxa kulindelo lwabo lokuthi bona nabalingani babo besikhathi esizayo bazobukeka kanjani futhi kufanele babukeke kanjani, ngokujwayelekile, futhi babukeke beya ocansini," kusho uFrancis.

Noma, ungasebenzisa lokhu njengethuba lokukhuluma nabo ngenjabulo, ukuvikelwa, imvume, izinwele zomzimba nezasendaweni, nokuningi.

Uma ingane yakho inemibuzo ethile, lokho kungaba yisiqondiso esiqonde ngqo engxoxweni. "Ungahlala unengxoxo yokulandelela uma ungakwazi ukuthinta yonke into," kusho uFrancis.

6. Yabelana ngemithombo eyengeziwe

Ngaphezu kokuchaza ukwehla kwezithombe zocansi ezivamile, ukuphikisana nalokho okungenzeka ukuthi ingane yakho ikubonile noma ezokubona ezithombeni ezingcolile kubalulekile, kusho uFrancis.

Kungani? Ngoba izingxoxo nezinto zokufunda ezisiza ukugxilisa amanani ezintweni ezinjengokwamukelwa, ukuvuma, ukuzijabulisa, nokungabi nodlame kuzosiza ingane yakho ukuthi ikwazi kangcono ukuzulazula ezintweni ezihlangana nazo, usho kanje.

"Ukugodla la mathuluzi akusizi abantu abasha ukuthi benze izinqumo ezingcono futhi ezinolwazi olungcono, futhi ngeke kubavimbe ekubambeni iqhaza ekuziphatheni okuyingozi," kusho uFrancis.

Izinsizakusebenza abafundisi bezocansi batusa izingane

• I-Scarleteen
• Umzali Ohleliwe
• Amaze
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• "I-EX .: Umhlahlandlela Wokuqhubeka Nocansi Okudingayo Ukukuthola Esikoleni Esiphakeme NaseKholeji" nguHeather Corinna
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• "Ngokobulili Obulungile: Ukushintsha Indlela Esikhuluma Ngayo Nentsha Ngezocansi, Amagugu, Nempilo" ebhalwe ngu-Al Vernacchio
• "Imizimba Yethu, Ngokwethu" yiBoston Women’s Health Book Collection

Lapho-ke, njengoba izingane zakho zikhula, ungakhuluma ngezinye izindlela zokufaka izithombe ezingcolile zobulili, kufaka phakathi izinto ezinolwazi ngabantu besifazane ezifana nezocansi zabesifazane noma ezokuziphatha, i-erotica, nokuningi, kusho uFrancis.

“Awudingi ukuhlanganyela izinto nabo. Kodwa uma bezoba abathengi, basize babe ngabathengi abazi, ”usho kanje.

Lezi zeluleko zingasiza ekwenzeni ingxoxo ibe yinhle nobabili

Ukushiya izingane zifunde ngocansi futhi zicubungule izithombe ezingcolile zodwa kushiya amathani egumbi ezingozini ezingakuhlomele ukuzulazula, ngakho-ke ukukhuluma nezingane zakho ngezocansi kubalulekile.

Uma uzizwa wesaba, khumbula ukuthi, ngokusho kukaFrancis, "Inhloso yakho yokuqala ukubanikeza indawo ephephile yokubuza imibuzo yabo ngezocansi, okungenzeka ukuthi sebevele bekubonile ku-intanethi, nokuningi," usho kanje.

Futhi khumbula: Akukaze kusheshe kakhulu noma kaningi ukuba nalezi zingxoxo.

UGabrielle Kassel ungumbhali wezempilo waseNew York futhi ungumqeqeshi weCrossFit Level 1. Usengumuntu wasekuseni, wazama inselelo ye-Whole30, wadla, waphuza, wageza, wahlikihla, wageza namalahle - konke kwenziwa egameni lobuntatheli. Ngesikhathi sakhe samahhala, angatholakala efunda izincwadi zokuzisiza, ukucindezela ibhentshi, noma ukudansa ngepali. Mlandele ku-Instagram.