Kungani Uzizwa Ufana Ne-Shit Ngemva Kokwelashwa, Kuchazwa Izinzuzo Zezempilo Yengqondo

-Delile

• Okokuqala, Luyini Ukwelashwa Kokuhlukumezeka?
• Izimpawu Zomzimba Zomsebenzi Wokwelapha
• Ukuxhumeka kobuchopho bomzimba
• Ukupakisha Ukuqeda Imizwa Emibi
• I-Trauma In, I-Trauma Out
• I-Physiology ye-Trauma Therapy
• Izimpawu Ezivamile Zangemuva Kokwelashwa
• Uzilungiselela Kanjani Ukuqokwa Kokwelashwa Okuqinile
• Yini Ongayenza Ngemuva Kokwelapha Ukuze Uzizwe Ungcono
• It *Iba* Ibangcono!
• Ngaphezu kwakho konke, Zenzele Umusa
• Buyekeza kwe-

Uzizwa sengathi uyagula ngemva kokwelashwa? Akukho (konke) ekhanda lakho.

"Ukwelashwa, ikakhulukazi ukwelashwa kwabahlukumezekile, kuhlale kuba kubi kakhulu ngaphambi kokuba kube ngcono," kusho umelaphi uNina Westbrook, uL.M.F.T. Uma uke wenza ukwelashwa kokuhlukumezeka - noma nje umsebenzi wokwelapha onamandla - uyakwazi lokhu vele: Akulula. Lokhu akuwona "ukukholelwa nokufeza," ukuqinisekiswa okuhle, ukuthola uhlobo lwakho lwangaphakathi lwokwelapha, kepha kunalokho uhlobo "konke okulimazayo".

Amahlaya eceleni, ukumba ekuhlukumezeni okudlule kanye nezehlakalo ezibuhlungu, okuhlangenwe nakho kwasebuntwaneni, nezinye izinkumbulo ezijulile ezifanayo, ezikhungathekile zingakuthinta kabi - hhayi nje ngokwengqondo, kodwa ngokomzimba. Kuyinto isazi sezinzwa zengqondo uCaroline Leaf, Ph.D, akubiza ngokuthi "umphumela wokwelapha."

"Ukwanda kokuqwashisa ngomsebenzi owenzayo emicabangweni yakho (okuyinselelo enkulu, ukusho okuncane), kukhulisa umqondo wakho wokuzimela," kusho uLeaf. "Lokhu kungakhuphula nezinga lokukhathazeka nokukhathazeka kwakho ngoba uqala ukuqaphela ngokwengeziwe ukuthi ubhekene nani, ukuthi ubhekane kanjani nengcindezi nokuhlukumezeka kwakho, nokuthi kungani kuzodingeka ubhekane nezinkinga ezijulile, zangaphakathi . "

Futhi, ungazizwa ushaywa kahle ngemuva kokwelapha. Lesi yisenzakalo sangempela okungenzeka uke wabhekana naso ngaphandle kokuqaphela. Ingabe i-migraine yakho yokugcina yayiyi-migraine ngosuku olufanayo nokuvakasha kwakho kokwelashwa kwengqondo? Ngabe umbonile umelaphi wakho futhi wazizwa uphele nya usuku lonke? Awuwedwa. Ochwepheshe abavela kuzo zonke izindawo zensimu yezempilo yengqondo baqinisekisile ukuthi ukukhathala kwangemva kokwelashwa, ama-aches, kanye nezimpawu zomzimba zokugula akuzona nje ezangempela, kepha zivame kakhulu.

"Yingakho kubaluleke kakhulu ukuthi abelaphi babheke phambili ngenqubo yokwelashwa namakhasimende abo," kusho uWestbrook. "[Lezi zimpawu] zivamile kakhulu futhi ziyindalo, futhi ziyisibonelo esiphelele sokuxhuma komzimba womzimba. Impilo ayisiyisiqu sethu nje kuphela, kodwa nengqondo yethu - konke kuxhumene."

Okokuqala, Luyini Ukwelashwa Kokuhlukumezeka?

Ngenxa yokuthi lesi simo sibalulekile ikakhulukazi lapho welashwa ngokuhlukumezeka, kuyakhokha ukuchaza ukuthi kuyini ngempela.

Abantu abaningi babhekana nohlobo oluthile lokuhlukumezeka, noma ngabe bayakuqaphela noma cha. “Ukuhlukumezeka kuhilela okuthile okwenzeka kithi ebesingaphezu kwamandla ethu, futhi ngokuvamile kubangela umuzwa wokusongelwa owandile,” kuchaza uLeaf. "Lokhu kuhlanganisa izinto ezimbi ezenzeka ebuntwaneni, izenzakalo ezibuhlungu kunoma ibuphi ubudala, ukuhlukumezeka ezimpini, nazo zonke izinhlobo zokuhlukumeza, okuhlanganisa ubudlova bobuhlanga kanye nokucindezelwa kwezenhlalo nezomnotho. Akwenzeki ngokuzithandela futhi kuye kwenziwa kumuntu, okuvame ukumenza azizwe edaluliwe ngokomzwelo nangokomzimba. , igugile futhi isaba."

Yini ehlukanisa ukwelashwa kokuhlukumezeka kwezinye izinhlobo kunciphise, kepha uWestbrook wabelane ngomongo:

• Kungaba ukwelashwa okutholayo ngemuva komcimbi ocindezelayo futhi ubona izinguquko ekuziphatheni kwakho. (Cabanga: I-PTSD noma ukukhathazeka kuthinta impilo yakho yansuku zonke.)
• Kungaba ukwelashwa okujwayelekile lapho kuvela khona ukuhlukumezeka okudlule ngomsebenzi nodokotela wakho.
• Kungaba indlela yokwelapha ethile oyifunayo ngemva kwesigameko esibuhlungu.

“Ukuhlukumezeka emkhakheni wezokusebenza kwengqondo kulapho kwenzeka isenzakalo esicindezelayo, futhi ngenxa yaleso senzakalo esicindezelayo, umuntu ucindezeleka kakhulu futhi angakwazi ukubhekana nesimo ngendlela efanele, noma amukele imizwa yakhe mayelana nalesi senzakalo,” kuchaza uWestbrook.

Ukwelashwa kwe-trauma - kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kuhlosiwe noma ngengozi - akusona ukuphela kwesenzakalo lapho uzothola khona "i-hangover yokwelapha" yohlobo. "Yonke imizwa evela kuyo yonke inqubo yokwelashwa ingakushiya uzizwe ukhathele noma unezinye izimpawu zomzimba," kuchaza uWestbrook. "Yingakho kubalulekile ukuqaphela ukuthi le yingxenye ejwayelekile kakhulu yenqubo, futhi ekugcineni kufanele yehle njengoba inqubo yokwelashwa iqhubeka."

Izimpawu Zomzimba Zomsebenzi Wokwelapha

Uma ungenzi umsebenzi wokuhlukumezeka, ukwelashwa kungahle kukushiye uzizwe ukhululeke ngokwengeziwe, uzethemba, noma unamandla, kusho isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo esikhungweni sezempilo iForrest Talley, Ph.D. "Izimo zomzimba ezivame kakhulu engizibonile ekwenziweni kwami ​​zishiya ukwelashwa kumuntu ekhululekile, noma ngamandla athe xaxa; kodwa-ke, izinguquko esimweni somzimba womuntu zivamile ngemuva kwemihlangano ebaluleke kakhulu yokwelashwa kwengqondo." Nakhu ukuthi kungani.

Ukuxhumeka kobuchopho bomzimba

“Ngenxa yokuxhumana okuseduze phakathi kobuchopho nomzimba, kungaba yinqaba [ukwelashwa ngokomzwelo] hhayi "" kusho uTalley.

UWestbrook uthi ingcindezi ingasetshenziswa njengesibonelo sansuku zonke ukwenza ngcono izimo nokuqonda lokhu. Uthi: “Ukucindezeleka kungenye yemizwa evamile ekuphileni kwethu kwansuku zonke. "Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ufundela ukuhlolwa, ulungiselela isethulo, noma uhamba nomuntu omusha okokuqala ngqa, ungase uzizwe ukhathazekile futhi ujabule. Abanye abantu bangathi 'banomgodi esiswini,' kuyilapho abanye bethi 'banezimvemvane,' - kanti abanye abantu bathi 'bazozibulala.' Futhi kwesinye isikhathi bayakwenza! " (Bheka: Izindlela Ezi-10 Eziyinqaba Zomzimba Umzimba Wakho Uphendula Ekucindezelekeni)

Lokhu kukhuliswa ekwelashweni kwe-trauma. "Nge-trauma therapy, izimpawu zikhona kakhulu, futhi ngendlela enkulu kakhulu," esho. "Kunezinhlobo ezahlukahlukene zezimpawu zomzimba [ezingenzeka] kusukela ekuphuleni izingqinamba nasekugqashukeni ngesikhathi sokwelashwa kokuhlukumezeka." Noma ngubani ophume amagwebu, uyazi ukuthi kubuhlungu kangakanani ngaphambi kokuthi kube ngcono - cabanga ngakho njengogwebu olugingqa i-fascia enamandla kakhulu, kepha yingqondo yakho.

Ukupakisha Ukuqeda Imizwa Emibi

Kungenzeka ukuthi uletha okuningi kuseshini yakho yokwelashwa kunokuba ucabange. "Uma unezingcindezi ezakhayo - uma ungazinakekeli - ziyaqhubeka nokwakha, futhi zihlala emzimbeni wakho ngokomzimba," kusho isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo u-Alfiee Breland-Noble, Ph.D., MHSc., Umqondisi ye-AAKOMA Project, engenzi-nzuzo enikezelwe ekunakekelweni kwezempilo yengqondo nocwaningo.

Ngakho-ke, ukuhlukumezeka okugciniwe. Awuyithandi, ngakho-ke uyayipakisha, njengedilowa elingenamsoco ...

"Sivame ukucindezela izinto ngoba ukuqaphela izinkumbulo ezibuhlungu ezinobuthi kuletha ukungakhululeki, futhi asithandi ukungakhululeki noma ukuzwa ukungaqiniseki nobuhlungu," kuchaza uLeaf. "Njengabantu, sinokuthambekela kokugwema nokucindezela esikhundleni sokwamukela, ukucubungula, nokubuyisela kabusha ubuhlungu, okuyinto ubuchopho eklanyelwe ukuyenza ukuze buhlale bunempilo. Lokhu empeleni kungani ukucindezela izinkinga zethu kungasebenzi njengesixazululo esimeme, ngoba imicabango yethu ingokoqobo futhi inamandla; inesakhiwo, futhi izoqhuma (ngokuvamile ngendlela ye-volcanic) ngesikhathi esithile empilweni yethu, ngokomzimba nangokwengqondo."

Kepha ungazizwa kabi ngokuzizwa "ungalungile" - wena isidingo ukuzwa leyo mizwa! "Siphila enkathini lapho sifuna ukuzizwa sihle ngaso sonke isikhathi, futhi lapho sizizwa singakhululekile, sidabukile, sicasukile noma sithukuthele kuthiwa jikelele 'kubi,' yize kuyizimpendulo ezinempilo ezimeni ezimbi," kusho uLeaf. "Ukwelashwa okuhle kukusiza ukuthi wamukele, ucubungule, futhi ucabange kabusha okuhlangenwe nakho kwakho okudlule, okuzobandakanya nakanjani izinga elithile lobuhlungu, kodwa lokhu kusho ukuthi umsebenzi wokuphulukisa usuqalile."

I-Trauma In, I-Trauma Out

Konke lokho kuhlukumezeka okugcwele? Ayizange ibe mnandi ngenkathi igcinwa, futhi cishe izozwa ukuphuma okubuhlungu, nakho. "Ngempela uklama imikhuba enobuthi esunguliwe kanye nokuhlukumezeka, ngezinkumbulo zakho ezishumekiwe zolwazi, ezingokomzwelo, nezomzimba ezivela engqondweni engazi lutho," kuchaza uLeaf.

Ukumba kulokhu kuhlukumezeka okugciniwe kanye nokucindezeleka kuzoba nzima kakhulu emasontweni ambalwa okuqala okwelashwa, kusho uLeaf. Kulapho “lapho imicabango yakho, nezinkulungwane zezinkumbulo ezigxilile ezingokwengqondo nezingokomzimba, isuka engqondweni enganakile ingene engqondweni oyaziyo,” usho kanje. Futhi kunengqondo ukuthi ukuletha izinkumbulo ezibuhlungu nokuhlangenwe nakho kwakho kuzozizwa kungakhululekile.

"Okwenza konke lokho kugcina izingcindezi ukucindezeleka kwengqondo nokugula kwengqondo," kusho uBreland-Noble. "Hlanganisa konke lokho, futhi ngesikhathi uhlezi nochwepheshe bezempilo yengqondo futhi uqala ukucutshungulwa, awukhiphi nje into esheshayo [ongene kuyo ukukhuluma ngayo]," esho, kodwa konke okuhlangenwe nakho, izinkumbulo, imikhuba, ukuhlukumezeka okugcinile. “Kunengqondo ukuthi ingakhulula emzimbeni wakho ngendlela efanayo naleyo ebigcinwe ngayo emzimbeni wakho, igcinwe kumaseli akho, emizweni yakho, emzimbeni wakho,” kusho yena.

I-Physiology ye-Trauma Therapy

Kunencazelo yomzimba, yesayensi yokuningi kwalokhu. “Uma ukwelapha kuye kwaphumela ekucindezelekeni okukhulu (ngokwesibonelo, ukubukeza izinkumbulo ezibuhlungu) khona-ke kungenzeka kube nokwanda kwamazinga e-cortisol, nama-catecholamine,” kuchaza uTalley.

Kafushane, i-cortisol ne-catecholamines yizithunywa zamakhemikhali ezikhishwa umzimba wakho ngesikhathi sokuphendula ukucindezeleka. I-Cortisol iyihomoni eyodwa (eyaziwa ngokuthi i-hormone yokucindezeleka), kuyilapho i-catecholamines yakha ama-neurotransmitters amaningana, okuhlanganisa i-epinephrine ne-norepinephrine (ebizwa nangokuthi i-adrenaline ne-noradrenaline). (Ngokuthakazelisayo, ama-catecholamine ayingxenye yesizathu sokuthi ungathola isisu esibuhlungu ngemuva kokuzivocavoca okunzima.)

"Lokhu kungaholela ekushayweni kwenhliziyo okusheshayo, ukujuluka, ikhanda, ukukhathala kwemisipha, njll.," Kusho uTalley. "[Lokhu] akulona uhlu oluphelele lwezimpendulo zamakhemikhali / zomzimba ekwelashweni kwengqondo, kepha kuhloswe nje ukuthi kutholakale iphuzu eliyinhloko. I-Psychotherapy ithinta amakhemikhali obuchopho, futhi lokhu, kuvezwa nangezimpawu zomzimba."

"Ukusebenzelana kwe-gut-brain kungenye yezibonelo ezicacile zalokhu - sivame ukuzwa ukucindezeleka ngokomzimba eziswini zethu," kusho uLeaf.

"Uma umzimba nobuchopho busesimeni esishubile, okwenzeka ngesikhathi nangemuva kokwelashwa, lokhu kungabonakala njengokushintshwa [kwemisebenzi] ebuchosheni, kanye nezinguquko ezingaguquguquki ekusebenzeni kwegazi lethu, kuye ezingeni lomzimba wethu I-DNA, ethinta impilo yethu engokomzimba kanye nempilo yethu yengqondo esikhathini esifushane nesikhathi eside uma ingalawulwa," kusho uLeaf.

UBreland-Noble wabelane ngokuthi lokhu kubonakale ezifundweni ze-epigenetic zeziguli eziMnyama. "Idatha nabesifazane abaMnyama kanye nabesilisa abaMnyama ikhombisile into ebizwa ngokuthi yi-weathering effect - ithinta imizimba ezingeni lamaselula, futhi iyadluliselwa ngokofuzo," esho. "Empeleni kunezinguquko emizimbeni yase-Afrika yaseMelika ngenxa yezingcindezi zansuku zonke ezihlobene nokuchayeka ekuhlukunyezweni ngokobuhlanga, futhi kune-epigenetics ekhombisa lokho." Ukuhumusha: Ukuhlukumezeka ngokobuhlanga kwenza izinguquko zangempela endleleni iDNA yabo evezwe ngayo. (Bheka: Ukucwasa Ubuhlanga Kungayithinta Kanjani Impilo Yakho Yengqondo)

Izimpawu Ezivamile Zangemuva Kokwelashwa

Wonke uchwepheshe lapha wabelane ngezibonelo ezifanayo zezimpawu okufanele uzibheke, kuhlanganisa nalezi ezingezansi:

• Izinkinga zamathumbu namathumbu
• Ukuphathwa yikhanda noma i-migraines
• Ukukhathala okukhulu
• Ubuhlungu bemisipha nobuthakathaka, iqolo, ubuhlungu bomzimba
• Izimpawu ezinjengomkhuhlane, i-malaise ejwayelekile
• Ukucasuka
• Ukukhathazeka nokuhlaselwa uvalo
• Izinkinga zemood
• Izinkinga ezihlobene nokulala
• Ukuntuleka kwesisusa, imizwa yokudangala

Wild, kwesokudla? Konke kusuka ekuzameni ukuzizwa kangcono - kepha khumbula, kuba ngcono.

Uzilungiselela Kanjani Ukuqokwa Kokwelashwa Okuqinile

UBreland-Noble ubhekise esicaphunweni sikaBenjamin Franklin ukuveza ukubaluleka kwalesi sinyathelo: "Isilinganiso sokuvimbela kufanelekile ikhilogremu lekhambi."

Uma wazi ukuthi uphokophele ekujuleni kwezinye zezinkumbulo zakho ezimbi kakhulu kanye nokuhlangenwe nakho kwakho, qina! Ungakwazi ukulungiselela lo msebenzi (odingeka kakhulu). Ngoba ubuchopho bawo wonke umuntu buhlukile, kunezindlela ezahlukahlukene zalokhu. "Noma ngabe kusetshenziswa liphi iqhinga, kufanele kube yilokho okukukhuthaza ukuthi wakhe umqondo oqinile, ukuze uphume unesiqiniseko sokuthi uzonqoba emzabalazweni wakho," kusho uTalley.

Usikisela ukuthi uzinikeze le nhloso elandelayo: "Ufuna ukushiya iseshini yokwelashwa kwabahlukumezekile uqiniseke ngokuqinile ukuthi, 'Yebo, bengikhona, ngisindile, futhi ngiqhubekile nempilo yami. Ngabhekana nalawo mademoni ngawina. Izinto ezingiphazamisayo zisemandulo. Impilo yami ilapha esikhathini samanje nasesikhathini esizayo. Okwazama ukungihlula kuhlulekile, futhi nginqobile.'

Ngenhlanhla, imikhuba enempilo okungenzeka ukuthi uyithathe ngenxa yezinye izizathu - ukudla kahle, ukuthola ukunyakaza kwekhwalithi ngosuku lwakho, ukulala kahle - ingaba negalelo elibalulekile endleleni ozizwa ngayo ngesikhathi nokulandela ukwelashwa kokuhlukumezeka. UBreland-Noble uqaphele ukuthi lokhu kuyingxenye yokuqeqeshwa kwe-inoculation koxinzelelo, akuchaza njengokwakha izinqolobane zakho namakhono wokuqina ezinhlotsheni eziningi zengcindezi. Zonke lezo zinto zingasiza umzimba wakho ukuthi uhlale uqinile ekulweni nengcindezi yengqondo nengokomzimba.

• Lala kahle. "Ungabonisi ukuthi usuphelile," kusho uBreland-Noble. Qiniseka ukuthi uthola okungenani amahora ayisishiyagalombili okulala ngobusuku obandulela isikhathi sakho ukuze ungadingi izinkomishi ezinhlanu zekhofi (ngaleyo ndlela uvuse sonke isimo).

• Setha inhloso. Ngena ngendlela ecatshangelwayo, uhlose ukuthola okungcono kakhulu kuseshini yakho, uzikhumbuze ukuthi uqine kangakanani, futhi ubuyele esikhathini samanje.

• Phatha ukwelashwa njengomsebenzi. Lona akuwona umsebenzi wokuzilibazisa, kukhumbuza uBreland-Noble. Khumbula ukuthi "utshala imali kuwe kanye nenhlalakahle yomzwelo." I-Therapy yindawo yokuzivocavoca, hhayi i-spa. "Njengeningi lempilo, uyaphuma ekwelashweni lokho okufaka kukho," kunezela uTalley.

• Yiba nesimiso esihle somzimba. "Zama imikhuba ethile yokubeka phansi njengokugeleza kwe-yoga okuzolile; ukuvimbela okuncane usuku ngalunye kuyasiza," kusho uBreland-Noble. (Ukuzivocavoca umzimba njalo kungakha amandla akho okuqina ngokomqondo nangokomzimba.)

• Ukulungiselela ubuchopho. ILeaf inohlelo oluthile olugxile "ekulungiseleleni ubuchopho," okubandakanya "izinto ezifana nokuzindla, ukuphefumula, ukuthepha, nokuthatha izikhathi ezimbalwa zokucabanga ngenkathi uvumela ingqondo yakho izule futhi iphuphe," usho njalo. (Wabelana ngalezi zindlela nokuningi kuhlelo lokusebenza lokwelashwa kwakhe, Shintsha.)

Yini Ongayenza Ngemuva Kokwelapha Ukuze Uzizwe Ungcono

Ngabe uthole le ndatshana ngemuva kokwelashwa futhi awutholanga ithuba lokwenza wonke lowo msebenzi wokulungiselela? Ukungakhathazeki - ochwepheshe babelane 'ngokulungiswa' kwabo ekukhathaleni kwangemva kokwelapha, kepha-ke, amasu amahle kakhulu azohluka kuwo wonke umuntu. "Ezinye iziguli zenza kahle kakhulu ngokuba nomsebenzi noma amaphrojekthi okuziphonsa kuwo ngemuva komhlangano omkhulu wokwelashwa," kusho uTalley. "Abanye benza kahle kakhulu ngokuba nesikhathi sabo ngokwabo sokuhlela imicabango yabo."

Misa isikhashana. UBreland-Noble uphakamisa ukuthatha usuku lonke emsebenzini uma ukwazi. “Ake uthi ukuthula kancane,” kusho yena."Ungaphumi ekwelashweni bese ubuyela emsebenzini ngqo - thatha imizuzu emihlanu, ungavuli lutho, ungacoshi noma yimaphi amathuluzi, ungashayeli muntu ucingo. Yilokho ikhefu okudingayo ukuze usethe kabusha ingqondo yakho umsebenzi olandelayo." Khumbula ukungamoshi imali yakho (ukwelashwa akushibhile, ngeshwa!) Futhi usebenzise kahle imali oyitshalile, hlela ukucubungula umsebenzi owenzayo, usho kanjalo.

Ijenali. “Bhala phansi into eyodwa noma ezimbili ozitholile esimisweni sakho ongazihlanganisa, bese ubeka leyojenali,” kusho uBreland-Noble. (Bheka: Kungani Ukushicilela Kuyisiko Engingasoze Ngalishiya)

Bala i-mantra yakho. Zicabange futhi uzikhumbuze: "Ngiyaphila, ngiyaphefumula, ngiyajabula ukuthi ngilapha, ngizizwa ngingcono namuhla kunangendlela engangizizwa ngayo izolo," kusho uBreland-Noble. Futhi lapho ungabaza, zama imantra kaTalley: "Izinto ezingiphazamisayo sezidlulile. Impilo yami ilapha manje nasesikhathini esizayo. Okuzama ukungishaya phansi kwehlulekile, futhi nginqobile."

Khuthaza ingqondo yakho. Zibandakanye entweni entsha nejabulisayo ukusizakala ngokukhula kwengqondo yakho, kusikisela uLeaf. "Indlela elula yokwakha ubuchopho ngemuva kokwelashwa ukufunda okuthile okusha ngokufunda i-athikili noma ukulalela i-podcast, futhi uyiqonde kuze kube yilapho ungafundisa khona omunye umuntu," usho kanje. Ngoba ubuchopho bakho sebuvele bukumodi yokuphinda uvuselele futhi wakhe kabusha kusuka ekwelashweni, ungangena lapho bese uqhubeka usebenza. Le yindlela ehluke kakhulu eziphakamiso ezivela kwabanye ochwepheshe ngenhla; kulapho ongakhetha khona ukuthi yini ekulungele wena noma ngalolo suku oluthile ngemva kokwelashwa.

It *Iba* Ibangcono!

“Lona wumsebenzi onzima, futhi uyethusa, (ikakhulukazi ekuqaleni) ngoba kuzozwakala sengathi izinto sezingaphezu kwamandla akho,” kusho uLeaf. "Kodwa-ke, njengoba ufunda ukulawula inqubo ngokusebenzisa amasu ahlukene okulawula ingqondo, ungaqala ukubheka imicabango enobuthi nokuhlukumezeka ngendlela ehlukile, futhi ubone izinselelo ezilethayo njengamathuba okushintsha nokukhula esikhundleni sobuhlungu okudingeka ungabunaki. , cindezela, noma ubalekele. " (Bheka: Indlela Yokusebenza Ngokuhlukumezeka, Ngokusho Kodokotela)

Kucabange njengokukhathazeka ngaphambi kokuba wenze okuthile okwesabekayo noma okwesabekayo. "Khumbula ingcindezi yokulungiselela ukuhlolwa - konke lokho kukhathazeka okukhulu okuholela kukho," kusho uWestbrook. Ngokuvamile kubi futhi kuqine kakhulu kunokuhlola ngokwako, akunjalo? "Bese uhlola isivivinyo, bese kukhona lesi sisindo esisuswe kuwe uma usuqede umsebenzi onzima; ujabule, ukulungele ukuya ephathini. Yilokho [ukwelashwa kwabahlukumezekile] okungaba khona."

Lolu shintsho olusuka ku- "ugh" luye enjabulweni kungenzeka kancane kancane (cabanga: izimpawu ezingezinhle kangako ngemuva kwezikhathi zokwelashwa ngokuhamba kwesikhathi) noma konke ngasikhathi sinye (cabanga: Ngelinye ilanga uyakhala futhi ube nesikhathi se- "ha ha!" Futhi uzizwe ususha Umuntu), kusho uWestbrook.

Lokho kusho, uma ubonakala ngathi useyingxenye ye-icky isikhathi eside impela, lokho akujwayelekile. “Uma umsebenzi onzima wokuhlukumezeka ungapheli, sekuyisikhathi sokuthola umelaphi omusha,” kusho uTalley. "Kukaningi abantu abanokuhlukumezeka bengena ekwelashweni bagcine sebenamathela ekuvuseleleni okwedlule bengadluli kukho."

Ngaphezu kwakho konke, Zenzele Umusa

Uma uzwa sengathi une-mono exutshwe nomkhuhlane nohlangothi lwe-migraine ngemuva kokubona umelaphi wakho, yiba nomusa kuwe. Une-hangover yokwelapha. Iya Embhedeni. Thatha ibuprofen uma unekhanda. Zitike nge-Netflix, yenza itiye, ugeze, noma ushayele umngane ucingo. Akuyona into engenamsebenzi noma yokuzitika ngokweqile noma enobugovu ukuqinisekisa ukuthi uphulukisa kahle.

"Okuhlangenwe nakho kokuhlukumezeka kuhluke kakhulu kumuntu ngamunye, futhi inqubo yokwelashwa nayo ihlukile," kusho uLeaf. "Asikho isixazululo somlingo esingasiza wonke umuntu, futhi kuthatha isikhathi, ukusebenza, nokuzimisela ukubhekana nokungakhululeki ukwelashwa kweqiniso ukwenzeka - njengoba kunzima lokhu."

Wenza umsebenzi onzima ngokungacabangi. Ubungeke ugijime umncintiswano futhi ulindele ukuthi usebenze ngamaphesenti ayi-100 ngosuku olulandelayo (ngaphandle kokuthi ungumuntu onamandla angaphezu kwawomuntu) ngakho-ke nika ubuchopho bakho lowo musa ofanayo.

Buyekeza kwe-