Ingabe Kubi Ngalokho Ngempela ku-Google Uhlelo lwakho lokusebenza olufanayo ngaphambi kosuku?

-Delile

• Impela, Ayikho Impendulo Yomhlaba Wonke
• Inzuzo Eyinhloko Yosesho Olusheshayo: Ukuphepha
• Kungakusiza uqaphele noma yikuphi ukungahambelani okukhanyayo
• Kodwa Kukhona Inzuzo Ye-Zero Yoku-Over-Sleuthing
• Khumbula: Usesho Lwakho Ngeke Luyikhulume Yonke Indaba
• Buyekeza kwe-

Ngaphambi kokuthi uhlangane nomuntu ovela kuhlelo lokusebenza lokuthandana, ingabe usebenzisa i-Google i-bejesus ephilayo kuye? Noma hlola izibambo zabo zenhlalo, ukhalela noma yimuphi umdlalo obani babo ababekelwe okuyimfihlo? Uma kunjalo, nibaningi. Ngokuya ngocwaningo olwenziwe yiStatista, amaphesenti angama-55 abantu aya namagama emeshi yabo kubha yokusesha ngaphambi kokuhlangana ne-IRL, kuyilapho amaphesenti angama-60 epheqa ukufunzwa komphakathi kwemidlalo yawo. Bangamaphesenti angama-23 kuphela abantu okwaxoxwa nabo abathi ababulali.

Kepha njengokuvutha, uwoyela kakhukhunathi, kanye nokuhlanzwa kwamalahle kufakazelwe, ngoba into ejwayelekile ayenzi kube kuhle. Uma uzibuza ukuthi kufanele ulandele isixuku noma cha kuleli cala, usufike endaweni efanele. Ngezansi, ochwepheshe abathathu bobudlelwano bakhuluma ngobuhle nobubi bokufunda ngedethi yakho nge-URL ngaphambi kokuhlangana nabo nge-IRL.

Impela, Ayikho Impendulo Yomhlaba Wonke

Njengezingxabano eziningi zocansi nokuthandana, impendulo ethi "Ingabe kufanele ngi-Google ngifanise?" akuyona yebo jikelele noma cha. Akulungile ukusho ukuthi i-Googling ihlale iyimbi noma ihlale iyinhle, kusho u-Jesse Kahn, u-LCSW-R, umqondisi kanye nomelaphi wocansi e-Gender & Sexuality Therapy Centre e-NYC. "Okubalulekile lapha isisusa sakho," besho. Imuphi umzwelo okuthumela kubha yakho yokusesha: Ingabe ukwesaba nokungabaza? Ilukuluku nokubi? Injabulo namahlaya?

Ukwazi ukuthi yini oyihlolayo noma oyicingayo ngaphambi kokuba uqale ukusesha kubalulekile, kusho uchwepheshe wezempilo yengqondo u-Jor-El Caraballo M.Ed., uchwepheshe wobudlelwane nomdidiyeli we-Viva Wellness. Ngaleyo ndlela uzokwazi uma usutholile obukufuna, esho. (Futhi ungagwema ukungena ekujuleni okujulile uma usuyitholile.)

Inzuzo Eyinhloko Yosesho Olusheshayo: Ukuphepha

"Ukuqomisana ku-inthanethi kukhule kakhulu, futhi njengoba kuye kwakhula, kanjalo nenani labadobi abangaba yingozi," kusho uMegan Harrison, umelaphi wobudlelwane ozinze eTampa Bay nomsunguli weCouples Candy. (Okungenani abantu abangu-18,000 baba yizisulu "zokukhwabanisa kwezothando" ngo-2018, ngokusho kwe-FBI.) I-Googling ingase ikusize ugweme omunye walaba badobi ngokukusiza ukuthi uqinisekise ukuthi umuntu othile uyilokhu abathi uyikho. Isibonelo, uma uhlu lwabo lwebhola likanobhutshuzwayo luvela, empeleni bangabaphakathi nendawo kwethimba labo lendawo, futhi uma isiqeshana sephephandaba lendawo mayelana nebhizinisi labo likalamoni lifinyelela phezulu, bangusomabhizinisi ngempela.

Yize lokhu kungena kungakusiza ukuthi uthole ukuthula kwengqondo, uCaraballo ukunxusa ukuthi ubheke ngaphakathi futhi uhlole ukuthi unesizathu sokusola lo muntu noma cha. "Ingabe kukhona okuthile okukhathazayo ngokukhethekile? Uma kunjalo, ingabe lokho okufunda ku-intanethi kuzokwenza ngempela ukusiza ukupholisa izinzwa zakho?" Uma kukhona okuthile okukukhathazayo ngokukhethekile, "thembela umuzwa wakho wemvelo," kusho uKahn. "Ungavumeli ukuhlangana nomuntu ngaphandle uma uqiniseka ngokuphelele ukuthi ungubani be, futhi uzizwa ukhululekile ukwenza kanjalo. "

Kungumqondo omuhle ukubuza umuntu ohlangane naye ku-inthanethi ukuthi abelane nawe ngesibambi sakhe se-Snap noma se-Instagram, ukuze uthole lokho kuqinisekiswa okuyisisekelo, kusho uCaraballo. Igama elingukhiye lapha: buza. Kunokuba udlale umseshi, uqonde ngqo ukuthi ucele othile izibambo zakhe.

"Ungacela futhi umuntu ukuthi enze ingxoxo yevidiyo esheshayo ngaphambi kokuvuma ukuhlangana mathupha," usho njalo. "Lokhu kukuvumela ukuthi wenze isheke le-vibe, futhi kunikeze nokuqinisekisa okuqondile okubonakalayo kokuthi umuntu unjani, nokuthi, ekuqaleni wayezimele ukuthi ungubani." (Bona: Ngahamba Ngezinsuku Zokuqala Ngengxoxo Yevidiyo Ngesikhathi Sokuvalelwa I-COVID-19 - Nakhu Ukuthi Kwenzeke Kanjani)

Futhi kubalulekile ukukhumbula ukuthi ayikho indlela yokuqinisekisa ukuphepha ngedethi. Okokuqala, abantu abaningi abaku-inthanethi bakhethwa ngokucophelela ukuze baveze isithombe esithile, "ngakho-ke ukuphenya ezinkundleni zokuxhumana akuyona indlela enembe kakhulu yokunquma umuntu noma izici zakhe," kusho uHarrison.

Ngokuphepha kwakho, futhi kuwumqondo omuhle ukunikeza okungenani abangani ababili (basendaweni) kanye namalungu omndeni indlela yosuku lwakho, kanye nokwabelana ngendawo yakho nomuntu ocingweni lwakho, ngaphambi kokuhlangana nomdlalo oku-inthanethi. (Okuhlobene: Izinto ezi-5 Wonke Umuntu Okumele Azazi Ngocansi Nokuqomisana, Ngokusho Kwe-Relationship Therapist)

Kungakusiza uqaphele noma yikuphi ukungahambelani okukhanyayo

“Ucwaningo oluncane lwe-inthanethi lungasiza ekunikezeni ukuqonda ngezindinganiso zomuntu noma imibono yezombangazwe neyenkolo,” kusho uHarrison. Ungase ufune ukuzwa ukuthi banezimo zengqondo ongavumelani nazo nhlobo, uthi - ikakhulukazi uma benganikezi ulwazi oluningi kuphrofayela yabo.

Isibonelo, mhlawumbe uthanda kuphela abantu abavota okuluhlaza okwesibhakabhaka futhi umeshi wakho ugqoke isigqoko esithi "Make America Great Again" kuzo zonke izithombe zabo ze-Facebook. Noma, ufunde ukuthi bangamakholwa azinikele avela ku-Instagram, lapho ungakholelwa ngokuphelele ukuthi uNkulunkulu ukhona. Ukufunda lezi zinto ngaphambi kwe-IRL hang kungaba wusizo ngokuthi zikusindise ekuhlanganeni nomuntu ongeke wakwazi ukuphola naye.

Lokho kusho, kunezindlela zokuqoqa lolu lwazi ngaphandle kwebha yokusesha. Kanjani? Ingxoxo! Kulungile impela ukubuza umdlalo wakho ukuthi ziyini izinhlangano zabo zepolitiki nemibono yomhlaba ngaphambi kokuhlangana. Ungathi ngokwesibonelo, "Ngaphambi kokuthi senze izinhlelo zokuhlangana mathupha, ungakhathazeka uma ngibuza ukuthi uvotele bani okhethweni olwedlule? Ngifunde ukuthi ngihambisana kakhulu nabantu abangamaDemocratic." Noma, "Angazi ukuthi ngizokuveza kanjani lokhu ngokunganaki, kodwa bengifuna ukukwazisa ukuthi ngithanda kakhulu. Ungakucabanga yini ukwabelana ngemibono yakho ngesihloko?" (Okuhlobene: Icala Lokuphambili Ngobulili Bakho Ngosuku Lokuqala)

Njengoba uCaraballo esho, "Ukuphola kumayelana nokufunda okwengeziwe ngothile futhi uzenze waziwe. Ukubuza imibuzo nokuba nelukuluku lokufuna ukwazi kuyingxenye yamandla."

Kodwa Kukhona Inzuzo Ye-Zero Yoku-Over-Sleuthing

Nakuba umqulu omncane ungaqinisekisa, “kungaba kuhle kakhulu uma umba ujule kakhulu,” kusho uHarrison. "Uma uzithola ubamba ngekhanda izindawo zokuvakasha zalowo obengase abe ngumkhongi noma amagama abo bonke abangane babo, lokho kuyisibonakaliso sokuthi mhlawumbe weqe kakhulu," usho kanje. (Uma umane ukukwenza ukubhekana nezinzwa zangaphambi kosuku, cabanga ngolunye lwalezi zikhulumi zosuku lokuqala ezenziwe yi-Headspace neHinge esikhundleni salokho.)

Ukufunda okuningi ngomuntu ngaphambi kokuthi uhlangane ne-IRL nakho kukuphuca ithuba lokuthi uzivumele azethule kuwe. Hhayi lokho kuphela, kodwa futhi ungamboza izincazelo, okucatshangwayo, kanye nezindaba ezixoxwayo kulokho okufundayo okungenzeka noma kungabi nembayo, kusho uKahn. "Futhi leyo mibono enganembile ingaba nomthelela endleleni ocabanga ngayo, ozizwa ngayo, futhi okhuluma ngayo nalowo muntu," besho. Ngamanye amagama, ungagcina uzivimba iqhude ngomcabango wakho!

Kusukela kokuhlangenwe nakho komuntu siqu, ngiyazi ukutshuza okujulile nakho kungaholela emandleni angadingekile (futhi axakile) lapho othile azi khona. indlela okuningi ngomunye umuntu kunokuphambene. Ngesinye isikhathi, ngaya ngosuku nomuntu owenza sengathi uyangazi ngoba wayefunda indaba yomuntu wokuqala (noma emihlanu) engangiyibhalile. Njengoba ngangingazange nginikezwe ithuba lokufunda ukwaziswa okufanayo ngabo, ngazizwa ngididekile futhi ngagcina ngilunqamule usuku.

Futhi, awukwazi ukuletha imininingwane yalokhu okufundile ngosesho lwakho. "Ukuletha okuthile esikhathini sakho osithole ku-inthanethi kungaba yinto ethinta inhliziyo," kusho uCaraballo. Uma ngabe nabelane ngokuhlanganyela amaphrofayili akho aku-inthanethi ungakwazi ukusho okubonile futhi ubuze ngakho, usho kanje. Kepha imininingwane etholwe eminye imithombo (isb.Ukusesha kweGoogle, i-LinkedIn lurk, noma ithrekhi yeVenmo) kungaba yinkohliso impela. "Ukubuza umuntu ngokuthile okutholile [ekusesheni kwakho] kungabenza bazizwe bevikeleka kancane noma betatazela," esho. Kulungile! (Okuhlobene: Kungani I-Anxiety Disorder Yakho Yenza Ukuqomisana Ku-inthanethi Kunzima Kangaka)

Khumbula: Usesho Lwakho Ngeke Luyikhulume Yonke Indaba

Ngaphandle kokuthi ufunde okuthile okwenza ungabaze ukuphepha kwakho, "kubalulekile ukuthatha lokho okutholayo ngohlamvu lukasawoti," kusho uHarrison. "Isithombe noma i-tweet ixoxa ingxenye yendaba kuphela, futhi ugeja ingxenye enkulu yendida."

Isiphakamiso sakhe: Uma nje unethumbu elihle kumuntu, "kufanele unikeze umuntu ithuba lokuziveza yena uqobo ngoba uzothola umbono ongcono kakhulu wokuthi ngubani umuntu uqobo." (Bona Okuningi: Izindlela Ezi-5 Ezimangazayo Ezokuxhumana Zingasiza Ubudlelwano Bakho)

Ngabe leli su lizolinyusa inani lezinsuku oqhubeka kuzo? Kungenzeka. Kepha futhi kungaholela ekutheni uthandane nomuntu okukhona kwakhe ezinkundleni zokuxhumana ukuthi uphakamise amashiya akho. Ngoba ekugcineni, ngaphandle kwe-movie Yena, ukuphola kwenzeka phakathi kwabantu ababili — hhayi umuntu oyedwa kanye nesiphequluli sabo se-inthanethi.

Buyekeza kwe-