Iholide Eligcine Lingenze Ngamukela Umzimba Wami Kanye Naphakade

-Delile

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Ngamenywa ukuthi ngichithe isonto ngigibele umkhumbi weCarnival Vista ngesikhathi esifanele. Mina nomyeni wami besingazange sibe seholidini langempela, labantu abadala selokhu kwazalwa indodakazi yethu eminyakeni emibili edlule. Izinga engangikulo manje lalithumela umfutho wegazi wami ophahleni, okwenza udokotela wami "anikeze" iholide. Bengizophinde ngiqale umkhankaso wokwamukela umzimba wami, ngiqedele impilo yami yokuzincisha ukudla, futhi ngilahle lezi zikhathi zokuzipholisa ngaphambi kosuku lwami lokuzalwa lwama-40 ngoSepthemba.Iyiphi indlela engcono yokwenza lokho kusebenza kunokuthatha uhambo olunekhodi yokugqoka yokugeza ye-chic yezinsuku eziyisithupha eziqondile? Kwakungeke kungicindezele noma ngilethe noma yiziphi izinkinga zangaphakathi, akunjalo?

Awu, akulungile, akulungile, nokunye okungalungile. Inkinga ukuthi ukuvuma ukuhamba ngomkhumbi kufana nokuvuma ukugibela i- "Triggers of the Sea." Ngaphezu kwazo zonke izingubo zokugeza ezigqoke, ama-buffet wami okudla, i-pizza engu-24/7, ama-steakhouses, newayini eligeleza mahhala-kwakukhona ukungigcona nokungilinga nami. Ngangithukile. Kepha, bengizimisele ngokushiya izidumbu zomzimba wami ethekwini ngibe sengamukela i- "Cruise Ship Me," kufaka umfaniswano wezingcezu ezimbili ezinesizotha, ama-flip-flops, kanye nokufihla okuphelele.

Sasiseduze nolwandle lapho ngenza isinqumo ngesibindi sokuqapha umoya futhi ngibhekane nakho konke ukwesaba kwami ​​okuhlobene nesudi nokuhlolwa kwenkundla Impi Yokuvumelanisa Izindebe umncintiswano, ihlumela lomdlalo odumile we-Spike TV. Uma ukhethiwe, uchitha isonto lonke ulungiselela ingoma yakho futhi ufunde indlela yokudansa nabaculi bangempela bomkhumbi, ujabulele ukushutha izithombe, futhi wenze "ukubonakala" isonto lonke ngaphambi kokudlala okukhulu ngobusuku bokugcina besikebhe. Ngiphume ngaya echibini ngilungele ukwenza okusemandleni ami ngo-Steven Tyler futhi ngivumelanise izindebe ku-Aerosmith's "Walk This Way" -umculo wami wokuya ukuze ngithole ukuzethemba okusheshayo. Esikhundleni salokho, ngabuka esikrinini esilingana nendawo yamabhayisikobho esikhanyisa ama-auditions echibini-futhi ngikunake, amantombazane wabo bonke osayizi abawunikeza konke-kodwa noma kunjalo, ngimamile. Ngaphuma emgqeni futhi ngangenwa umoya ngenxa yokwesaba ukukhungathekiswa, noma okubi kakhulu, ngadideka ngokubukeka kwami. Umzimba wami osontekile unenombolo exakile ebuntwini bami-ngingumuntu othintekayo kepha lokho kungavikeleki kwesinye isikhathi kungifaka enkingeni. Hhayi ekuqaleni okuhle kakhulu.

Ngikulungele ukuqhubekela phambili kusukela ekuqaleni kwami ​​okuxakile (nokushisa umona noma nini lapho ngibona i- Impi Yokuvumelanisa Izindebe abaqhudelanayo bejabulela udumo lwabo), ngakhipha ukuqapha futhi ngagqoka isudi yokugeza eneziqephu ezimbili olwandle oluyimfihlo ngakusasa ngesikhathi sokuma kwethu kokuqala kwechweba e-Ochos Rios, e-Jamaica. Ngishayele uChrissy Teigen, umuntu engimkhonze ngokuba nobuhle bakhe nokuvala ngokuphelele abazondayo. Ngangizulazula ogwini lolwandle, ngizama labo ababengizungezile ukuba bangenze ngicashe noma ngiphume emehlweni abo.

Akekho owayekhathalela.

Akekho noyedwa owafaka izibuko zakhe zelanga lapho ngiya khona.

Wonke umuntu ubegxile ekujabuleleni amahora amathathu ebesinawo e-Bamboo Beach Club kwaze kwafika isikhathi sokubuyela esikebheni.

Mina nomyeni wami sachofoza izingilazi futhi ngahamba ngayohlola, ngazithola sengisetendeni lokubhucungwa umzimba. Ngingumuntu othanda ukubhucungwa-futhi ngiwahlikihle wonke lawo mafindo kanye namakhink kuyinto engaziyo ukuthi ingisiza ukuxhumana nomzimba wami. Kube nenkinga eyodwa nje encane: Le massage ibingenzeki egumbini elizimele. Kwadingeka ngikhumule itop yesudi yami yokugeza-ngiyigcine ngingekho ogwini lolwandle, kungabonakali muntu odlulayo. Akekho owakhathalelayo noma owanaka noma owanaka lapho ngiphatha ulwandle njengokwehla komgwaqo ... kungani bengakhathala uma ngikhanyisa ama-boobs ami? Into iwukuthi, ngangikhathalela. Kodwa okwesibili ngiqaqa i-top yami, kwaba sengathi isipiliyoni esingaphandle komzimba. Angizange ngizizwe ngikhuluphele, noma ngizacile, noma nginokuzinyeza. Ngazizwa nginamandla. Bengingakhathazekile ngosayizi wami ka-D ophindwe kabili noma ukhalo olugcwele noma olungaphezu kwalokho engingathanda ukubona inombolo esikalini. Ukusabela kwabantu engingabazi olwandle bekungeke kwenze lutho ukushintsha lokho ngaphandle kokungikhumbuza ukuthi bengingakudingi ukuqinisekiswa kwabo. Bengidinga ukuqala ukuthola ukuqinisekiswa kimina kuphela.

Ngakho-ke, ngavula ingubo yami yangaphezulu futhi ngakhanyisa amabhulu ami, ngilibala umzuzu ngaphambi kokuba ngilalele ukusikhipha okumangalisayo kakhulu empilweni yami. Lapho sekuphelile, ngahlala-ke ama-boobs asaphumile ukuze noma ngubani obheke ngakimi abone-futhi ngelula imizuzu embalwa ngaphambi kokuba ngigxume ngisuka etafuleni ngigqoke. Impela, kungithathe amasonto ukutshela umyeni wami, kepha kuthathe imizuzu kuphela ukuthi isipiliyoni siphinde sisebenze ubuchopho bami. Kwakuqabula kakhulu ukukhumbula ukuthi akekho ongabona ngaphakathi ekhanda lami. Futhi akungabazeki ukuthi noma yini engiyicabangayo ngomzimba wami ilukhuni kunalokho okucatshangwa omunye umuntu. Lokho wukuthi uma becabanga ngakho nhlobo. Okungukuthi, sorry ego, ngiyazi manje ukuthi abasekho.

Emuva esikebheni, ukwamukelwa komzimba kwakuseyimpi yokukhuphuka ngoba ngangicishe nginqunu cishe yonke into-inkambo yezintambo emisiwe emoyeni, ibhayisikili leSkyride, isilayidi samanzi, ngisho ne-Cloud 9 spa. Ngikhokhele imali ethe xaxa yokuthola indawo yokushisa ye-spa, indawo "yebhonasi" enezitulo zokuphumula ezifudumele ezimangalisayo, i-whirlpool, nezinhlobonhlobo zama-sauna. Ngikubone njengendawo yokucasha, ukufunda, ukuphumula, nokuzijwayeza ukuba sezingubeni zami zokugeza phakathi kwentuthu yama-sauna engimbozayo. Ngelinye ilanga ntambama, ngangena kwelinye lamabhavu okugeza isitimu ngathola umbhangqwana omdala unqunu futhi ngingesabi ukukhuhluzana phansi-bebehleka, bejabule futhi benganakile emhlabeni wonke. Angisho ukuthi ngizwe kunesidingo sokubamba umyeni wami bese ngiqala ukumthwebula esidlangalaleni. Kodwa ngangiwufela lowo mbhangqwana. Kuyamangaza ukuthi ngokusobala bebengakhathazeki ngokulengiswa komzimba okwenza isithunzi ngaleso sikhathi. Bebephila, bejabulela, futhi behamba nayo. (Noma ngabe bekufanele, uyazi, bekwenza lokhu endlini yabo.)

Elinye idemoni elikhulu okwakumele libhekane nakho konke ukudla kwakucashe kuyo yonke intshi yomkhumbi, kulungele ukungilinga ukuthi ngilambile noma cha. Ngiqonde ukuthi, lo mkhumbi wawuneGuy Fieri Burger Joint AND Pig ne-Anchor BBQ, indawo yokudla inyama, i-pizza engu-24/7 ongayidla, i-buffet, nezindawo zokudlela zase-Italy nase-Asia. Lapho izinto ezinjenge-bacon patties zingaphezulu kwe-burger yakho futhi ukunikezwa kwe-dessert kuyingxenye yekhekhe, kunzima ukujabulela ukudla ngaphandle kokuzizwa sengathi uphume ngamakhilogremu ayi-15 (ubuncane) lapho sekuphelile.

Ngisebenzise inselele ukuthola ibhalansi. Ngama lapho ngisuthi angizange ngizincishe okungenani noma yini eyayingixaka emlonyeni. Futhi, lokho kwazizwa kunikeza amandla-umzwelo engangiziphika isikhathi eside kangaka. Noma nini lapho ngiya esidlweni esikhulu, nginomkhuba omubi wokumemezela ukuthi ngidle kancane kangakanani usuku lonke ukuze ngithethelele ukugoba, noma ngibeka amazwana anjengokuthi, "Angidli isinkwa/amaswidi/amanoni kodwa lokhu kubukeka kumangalisa kakhulu ukuthi ngingamelana nakho" njengeqhinga lokuvimba abantu ukuthi bangangihluleli. Yikuphi ukuqagela ini? Cishe babengekho ngaze ngasho lutho. Ngasheshe ngabona ukuthi njengoba kungekho noyedwa onendaba ukuthi ngigqoke isudi yokugeza, akekho noyedwa onendaba nokuthi ngidlani. Ngakho-ke, ngavala umlomo wami, ngadla okwakubukeka kukuhle kimi, futhi ngenza engangikudinga ukuze ngizizwe ngingcono ngemuva kwalokho, njengokuhambahamba, ukuzindla imizuzu embalwa, noma ukuzibophezela ekuzivocavoca umzimba ekuseni ngakusasa. Anginacala, angizisoli-nje isileti esihlanzekile engizivumele ukuba ngibe naso njalo emva kwesidlo.

Manje njengoba sengibuyile ekhaya, ngiyaziqhenya ngokusho ukuthi i- "Cruise Ship Me" isamile. Lezo zinsuku eziyisithupha azizange ziwabulalele amadimoni ami, kodwa zanginika umbono onempilo osize ukucisha omunye umsindo futhi wangiphoqa ukuthi ngiphile kakhudlwana manje. Emkhunjini, uma benginomzuzu omubi, bengingacasha etiyetha ye-iMax noma ngithole isihlalo segumbi lokuphumula elimboziwe kude nengxabano. Uhlobo lwami lwalapho ekhaya luyazindla noma luhleli kuvulandi wami ngaphambi kokulala ukuze uhlangane kabusha. Sisanda kuthenga ichibi elifuthayo elingemuva kwegceke lethu futhi ngijabule ngokuhlala ngesudi yami yokugeza entsha nginabangani ukushaya ukushisa. Futhi mhlawumbe angizange ngiphile ngephupho lami lenkanyezi yedwala Impi Yokuvumelanisa Izindebe kodwa ngi wenza vele uvume ukuqopha ingxenye ye-TV yomsebenzi (eyami yokuqala eminyakeni engaphezu kwemithathu). Kusenenqubekela phambili okumele yenziwe - angikaze ngithathe izithombe ohambweni ngaphandle kokuthi ngimboziwe. Kodwa lapho ngicabanga ngalowo muzwa okhululayo wokuya ogwini ungenalutho, ngikhunjuzwa ukuthi okuwukuphela kombono obalulekile ngomzimba wami owami. Futhi nsuku zonke, leyo mibono ingenza ngizizwe ngingcono futhi ngibe ngcono mayelana nokuthi sengikude kangakanani.

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