Ungathanda Ukufunda Amanothi Womelaphi Wakho?

-Delile

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Uma uke wavakashela umelaphi, kungenzeka ukuthi ubhekane nalo mzuzu: Uchitha inhliziyo yakho, ulindele impendulo ngokukhathazeka, futhi idokodo lakho libheke phansi libhale phansi encwadini yokubhalela noma lishaye i-iPad.

Ubambekile: "Ubhalani?!"

Iziguli ezingaba ngu-700 esibhedlela sase-Boston's Beth Israel Deaconess-ingxenye yocwaningo lokuqala esibhedlela-akufanele zikhathazeke ngaleso sikhathi. Banokufinyelela okugcwele kumanothi odokotela babo, kungaba ngesikhathi sokuqokwa noma kamuva ngokusebenzisa isizindalwazi esiku-inthanethi, njengoba kushiwo enguqulweni yakamuva. New York Times isihloko.

Futhi yize lokhu kungabonakala njengomqondo wenoveli, uStephen F. O'Neill, uLICSW, JD, umphathi wezenhlalakahle wezifo zengqondo nokunakekelwa okuyinhloko eBeth Israel unxusa ukuthi kungabi: "Bengihlala nginenqubomgomo evulekile yenothi. Iziguli zine kanye nemibhalo yabo egciniwe, futhi abaningi bethu lapha [eBeth Israel] baye bakwenza lokhu ngokusobala.”

Kunjalo: Ukufinyelela kumanothi akho owelaphayo kuyilungelo lakho (inothi: imithetho iyahlukahluka ngezwe futhi uma kungaba yingozi kuwe nganoma yisiphi isizathu, umelaphi uvunyelwe ukunikeza isifinyezo). Kodwa abantu abaningi abaziceli. Futhi odokotela abaningi bayakugwema ukwabelana. "Ngeshwa, abelaphi abaningi baqeqeshelwe ukuzivikela," kusho u-O'Neill. “Esikoleni esithole iziqu uprofesa wake wathi, ‘Kunezinhlobo ezimbili zabelaphi: abake bamangalelwa nabangazange bamangalelwe.’

Ukufaka ingozi yokukhubekisa noma ukudida isiguli ngokunikezela ngencwadi yakho yokubhala, khona-ke? Lokho kuyibhizinisi eliyingozi ngokusobala. Futhi u-O'Neill uyavuma ukuthi ukwazi ukuthi uzokwamukela inothi lakhe kuyayishintsha indlela abhala ngayo (izinguquko zingena kwifomu uqiniseke ukuthi uzoziqonda izinhloso zakhe, usho kanjalo). Kodwa uma sikhuluma nje, izinzuzo zingaphezu kwezingozi, uthi: “Uma siletha izindaba ezimbi, silindele ukuthi iziguli ngeke zikhumbule ngaphezu kwamaphesenti angu-30 alokho esikushoyo. Ngezindaba ezinhle, silindele ukuba zikhumbule amaphesenti angu-70. Noma iyiphi indlela. , uswele ulwazi. Uma iziguli zingabuyela emuva futhi zikhumbule, kuyasiza lokho."

Eqinisweni, ukufinyelela kwamanothi kunciphisa izingcingo ezingadingekile kubantu abafuna ukucacelwa ngeseshini, kunciphisa ubunzima ohlelweni jikelele. Futhi ucwaningo lwamuva ku Izitatimende Zemithi Yangaphakathi bathola ukuthi abantu ababone amanothi kadokotela wabo baneliseke kakhulu ngokunakekelwa kwabo futhi kungenzeka ukuthi banamathele emithini yabo.

Kwabaningi, ukwabelana ngamanothi kuyithuluzi elilodwa elilodwa lokwakha ubudlelwano besiguli nodokotela. Nakuba ekuqaleni wayekhathazeke ngokuthi lo mkhuba ungenza iziguli ezididekile zibaleke (phela, kuthiwani uma bezicabanga ukuthi ubhala izinto ezimbi ngazo?), u-O'Neill waqaphela okuphambene: Ukwazi ukuthi (noma ngasiphi isikhathi) isiguli singabona lokho esikushoyo. wabhala amazinga okuthembana ahlanganisiwe, akhiqiza umphumela wokuzola.

Kepha le nqubo ayilingani nosayizi owodwa ilingana konke futhi njengamanje, kuphela ezinye izindlela ezimbalwa zokwelashwa ezweni lonke ezisethwe ukuvula amanothi kusuka kubelaphi kuya ezigulini. "Ingxenye yomsebenzi wethu ukuthola ukuthi ubani lo ozosebenza ngendlela emangalisayo nokuthi ubani lo ozoba sengozini." Futhi ukuphikisana kungokwemvelo. Uma umelaphi ebhala ukuhumusha kwalokho abacabanga ukuthi kuqhubeka nomuntu othile, ngokwesibonelo, futhi efuna ukuthi isiguli sikuthole lokho ngesikhathi saso, ukubona inothi ngaphambi kwesikhathi kungaphazamisa ukuhamba kokwelapha, u-O'Neill uyachaza.

Futhi ngekhono lokubona amanothi ekhaya kuvela iqiniso lokuthi awukwazi ukuthi ubani ofunda phezu kwehlombe lesiguli. Ezimweni zobudlova basekhaya noma ukujola, ukuba nomhlukumezi noma umngane womshado ongaqaphile akhubeke emanothini kungaba inkinga. (Qaphela: Kunezivikelo zokuvikela lokhu ukuthi kungenzeki, kusho u-O'Neill.)

Iphuzu eliyinhloko: Kumelwe uzazi wena. Ngabe uzokhathazeka ngemibuzo efana nokuthi, "Lisho ukuthini lelo gama?" noma, "Ingabe yilokho abekusho ngempela?" EBeth Israel, cishe isiguli esisodwa kwezintathu eziye zathola ithuba lokungena kulolu hlelo zikwenzile lokho. Kepha abanye abaningi abafuni. Njengoba u-O'Neill ekhumbula, "Esinye isiguli sathi, ‘Kufana nokuletha imoto yakho kumakhenikha—uma eseqedile, asikho isidingo sokuthi ngibheke ngaphansi kwesivalo.’”

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