Ukukhuluma nengane ngokugula okungapheli komzali

Lapho ukwelashwa komdlavuza komzali kuyekile ukusebenza, ungazibuza ukuthi ungatshela kanjani ingane yakho. Ukukhuluma ngokukhululekile nangokwethembeka kuyindlela ebalulekile yokusiza ekunciphiseni ukukhathazeka kwengane yakho.

Ungazibuza ukuthi kunini lapho isikhathi esifanele sokuxoxa nengane yakho ngokufa. Eqinisweni, kungahle kungabi nesikhathi esisodwa esifanele. Unganikeza ingane yakho isikhathi sokumunca izindaba bese ubuza imibuzo ngokukhuluma ngemuva nje kokuthola ukuthi umdlavuza wakho awusebenzi. Ukufakwa kulolu shintsho olunzima kungasiza ingane yakho izizwe iqinisekiswa. Kungasiza ukwazi ukuthi umndeni wakho uzobhekana nalokhu ndawonye.

Iminyaka yobudala kanye nokuhlangenwe nakho okwedlule kuhlobene kakhulu nalokho izingane ezikuqondayo ngomdlavuza. Yize kungaheha ukusebenzisa izichasiso ezinjengokuthi, "Umama uzobe ehamba," amagama anjalo angaqondakali adida izingane. Kungcono ukucaciselwa ngokwenzekayo nokuzobhekana nokwesaba kwengane yakho.

• Yisho ngokuqondile. Tshela ingane yakho ukuthi unomdlavuza onjani. Uma uvele uthi uyagula, ingane yakho ingakhathazeka ngokuthi noma ngubani ogulayo uzofa.
• Yazisa ingane yakho ukuthi awukwazi ukubamba umdlavuza komunye umuntu. Ingane yakho akudingeki ikhathazeke ngokuyithola kuwe, noma ukuyinikeza abangane.
• Chaza ukuthi akulona iphutha lengane yakho. Yize lokhu kungahle kube sobala kuwe, izingane zivame ukukholelwa ukuthi zibangela izinto zenzeke ngalokho ezikwenzayo noma ezikushoyo.
• Uma ingane yakho isencane kakhulu ukuthi ingakuqonda ukufa, khuluma ngokomzimba ukuthi awusasebenzi. Ungase uthi, "Uma ubaba eshona, uzomisa ukuphefumula. Ngeke esadla futhi angabe esakhuluma."
• Tshela ingane yakho ukuthi kuzokwenzekani ngokulandelayo. Isibonelo, "Ukwelashwa ngeke kulaphe umdlavuza wami ngakho odokotela bazoqinisekisa ukuthi ngikhululekile."

Ingane yakho ingase ibuze imibuzo ngokushesha noma ithule futhi ifune ukukhuluma kamuva. Ungadinga ukuphendula imibuzo efanayo kaningi ngenkathi ingane yakho ikwamukela ukulahlekelwa. Izingane zivame ukufuna ukwazi izinto ezinjengalezi:

• Kuzokwenzekani kimi?
• Ngubani ozonginakekela?
• Ngabe nawe (omunye umzali) uzofa nawe?

Zama ukuqinisekisa ingane yakho ngangokunokwenzeka ngaphandle kokufihla iqiniso. Chaza ukuthi ingane yakho izoqhubeka nokuhlala nomzali osaphila ngemuva kokushona kwakho. Umzali ongenawo umdlavuza angathi, "Anginawo umdlavuza. Ngihlela ukuba khona isikhathi eside."

Uma ingane yakho ikubuza imibuzo ongeke ukwazi ukuyiphendula, kulungile ukuthi uthi awazi. Uma ucabanga ukuthi ungayithola impendulo, tshela ingane yakho uzozama ukuthola impendulo.

Njengoba izingane zikhula, ziqonda ngokwengeziwe ukuthi ukufa kungunaphakade. Ingane yakho ingahle ibe lusizi iqhubeke futhi iye eminyakeni yobusha, njengoba ukulahlekelwa kuba ngokoqobo ngokwengeziwe. Ukudabuka kungabandakanya noma iyiphi yale mizwa:

• Icala. Abantu abadala nezingane bangazizwa benecala ngemuva kokushonelwa umuntu abamthandayo. Izingane zingacabanga ukuthi ukufa kuyisijeziso sento abayenzile.
• Intukuthelo. Kunzima kangakanani ukuzwa intukuthelo ibhekiswe kwabafileyo, lokhu kuyingxenye ejwayelekile yosizi.
• Ukuhlehliswa. Izingane zingabuyela emuva ekuziphatheni kwengane encane. Izingane zingaphinde ziqale ukukhala embhedeni noma zidinge ukunakwa okwengeziwe kumzali osaphila. Zama ukubekezela, futhi ukhumbule ukuthi lokhu kungokwesikhashana.
• Ukucindezeleka. Usizi luyingxenye edingekayo yosizi. Kepha uma usizi lukhula kakhulu ingane yakho ingakwazi ukubhekana nempilo, kufanele ufune usizo kochwepheshe bezempilo yengqondo.

Ungahle ufise sengathi ungasusa ubuhlungu bengane yakho kepha ukuba nethuba lokuxoxa ngemizwa enzima nawe kungaba yinduduzo enhle kakhulu. Chaza ukuthi imizwa yengane yakho, noma ngabe iyini, ilungile, nokuthi uzolalela noma nini lapho ingane yakho ifuna ukukhuluma.

Ngangokunokwenzeka, gcina ingane yakho ibandakanyeka emisebenzini ejwayelekile. Yisho ukuthi kulungile ukuya esikoleni, imisebenzi yangemva kwesikole, kanye nabangane.

Ezinye izingane zilingisa lapho zibhekene nezindaba ezimbi. Ingane yakho ingaba nenkinga esikoleni noma ikhethe ukulwa nabangani. Ezinye izingane ziyanamathela. Khuluma nothisha wengane yakho noma umeluleki wokuqondisa futhi ubazise ukuthi kwenzekani.

Ungahle ukhulume nabazali babangane abaseduze bengane yakho. Kungasiza uma ingane yakho inabangane engakhuluma nabo.

Ungahle ulingeke ukuthi ingane yakho ihlale nomngani noma isihlobo ukuze ivikele ingane yakho ekuboneni ukufa. Iningi lochwepheshe lithi kuyacasula kakhulu ukuthi izingane zithunyelwe kude. Ingane yakho cishe izokwenza kangcono ukusondelana nawe ekhaya.

Uma ingane yakho ingakwazi ukubuyela emisebenzini ejwayelekile ezinyangeni eziyisithupha noma ngaphezulu ngemuva kokushona komzali, noma ikhombisa ukuziphatha okuyingozi, shayela umhlinzeki wakho wezokunakekelwa kwempilo.

Iwebhusayithi yeAmerican Cancer Society. Ukusiza izingane lapho ilungu lomndeni linomdlavuza: ukubhekana nokugula okungapheli komzali. www.cancer.org/treatment/children-and-cancer/when-a-family-member-has-cancer/dealing-with-parents-terminal-illness.html. Kubuyekezwe ngoMashi 20, 2015. Kufinyelelwe ngo-Okthoba 7, 2020.

ILiptak C, iZeltzer LM, i-Recklitis CJ. Ukunakekelwa kwengqondo nengane nomndeni. Ku: Orkin SH, Fisher DE, Ginsburg D, Bheka AT, Lux SE, Nathan DG, eds. I-Hematology ne-Oncology kaNathan no-Oski ye-Infancy ne-Childhood. Umhlaka 8. IPhiladelphia, PA: Elsevier Saunders; 2015: isahluko 73.

Iwebhusayithi yeNational Cancer Institute. Ukubhekana nomdlavuza ophambili. www.cancer.gov/publications/patient-education/cancer ethuthukile. Kubuyekezwe uMeyi 2014. Kufinyelelwe ku-Okthoba 7, 2020.

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• Izinkinga Zokugcina Zempilo