Izingxoxo 7 Okufanele Ube Nazo Zokuphila Kocansi Okunempilo

-Delile

• Ingxoxo Yomlando Wokuhlola
• Ingxoxo Yokuvula (Nokuvala)
• Ingxoxo Yemvamisa
• Ingxoxo Yamaphupho
• Ingxoxo Yokukopela
• Ingxoxo Yolimi Lothando
• Ingxoxo Yokungena
• Buyekeza kwe-

Ukwesaba ukuphaphatheka kwezimpaphe zomunye wakho okuphawulekayo kungadala ukuba ufune uma kukhulunywa ngokwethembeka ngocansi. Kepha ukuswayipha izihloko okunzima ukubhekana nazo ngaphansi kombhoxo kungenza ukuthola izimpendulo (nokushintsha indlela yokuziphatha ekamelweni!) Kube nzima kakhulu. Lezi zingxoxo okumele-zibe nazo zibalulekile ukugcina ubudlelwane bobulili obuphilile nobufezayo-futhi namasu ethu agunyazwe ngochwepheshe okusondela ngakunye, uzokwazi kahle ukuthi ungabeka kanjani isiteji sezingxoxo ezisondelene ezizokusondeza nakakhulu.

Ingxoxo Yomlando Wokuhlola

Izithombe ze-Getty

"Umthetho wami uwukuthi uma nje wazi ukuthi kukhona uhlobo oluthile lokukhangana, yiba nengxoxo," kusho uLaura Berman, Ph.D., a New York Times isazi esithengisa kakhulu ngocansi nobudlelwano. Kubalulekile ukuxoxa ngokuhlolwa kwe-STD ne-HIV, kanye nosuku lokuhlolwa kwakho kokugcina. Hola indlela ngokwabelana ngemvelaphi yakho kuqala, kusho uBerman. Ukuthi nje, "Ngihlolwe selokhu ngalala nomunye wokugcina-kuthiwani ngawe?" igcina ingxoxo ilula futhi isongela kancane. Yini engadingi kuxoxiswane? "Inombolo" yakho, kusho uBerman."Konke ekwenzayo ukudala ukungavikeleki." Noma ngabe uke waba ngomunye umuntu noma abantu abayikhulu, umqulu wezempilo ohlanzekile nomlando wokwenza izinqumo eziphephile ngomzimba wakho kubaluleke kakhulu.

Ingxoxo Yokuvula (Nokuvala)

Izithombe ze-Getty

Ukucela umlingani wakho ukuthi ayeke ukudonsa izinwele zakho lapho esevuthondaba kuyinto enzima kunokuba umtshele ukuthi, "Ngiyayithanda uma [ugcwalisa okungenalutho]." Kodwa kubalulekile ukuxoxa ngokuthi yini eyenza uqhubeke nokuthi yini ekuvalayo. Khulisa ukungathandwa phansi nokungcolile ngaphandle kwekamelo lokulala, kusho uBerman, owengeza ngokuthi imibhangqwana eminingi yenza iphutha lokuba nakho okwamanje, futhi lokho kudala indawo esengozini kakhulu. Kepha esikhundleni sokuveza obala ukuziphatha okungathandeki ngokuqondile, hlela isimo ngombono omuhle, kusho u-Andrea Syrtash, umbhali we Khohlisa Umyeni Wakho (Nomyeni Wakho). "Ithi, 'Ngikuthanda ngempela ukulala nawe, futhi ngingathanda ukuzama lokhu.' Ukunikeza enye indlela engase isebenze kangcono kukuvumela ukuthi ukwazi ukuvula uvule ngenkathi usakaza okokucima, kusho uSyrtash. [Thwetha leli thiphu!]

Ingxoxo Yemvamisa

Izithombe ze-Getty

Uma kukhulunywa nge-frequency lapho uxakeka khona, awudingi ukuthi ube semshweni ofanayo kodwa kufanele ube sekhasini elifanayo, kusho uBerman. Lokho kusho ukuthini: "Uma eyifuna nsuku zonke futhi uyifuna kanye ngenyanga, lokho kuzoba inkinga." Njengakho konke okunye, ukuyekethisa kuyisihluthulelo. Njengoba kuzwakala kungathandeki, zama ukugcina uhlelo locansi. Kungakunika ithuba lokuthatha izinto zasesiteji, ukuthola ishawa, noma ukugwema ukuphazamiseka okungafuneki. UBerman uphakamisa ukwabelana ngokuhlangenwe nakho kocansi okungenani kabili ngeviki, kepha uxwayisa ngokuthi ayikho "inombolo yomlingo" eqinisekisa ubumnandi bobudlelwano. Ozakwethu kufanele basebenze ndawonye ukuthola imvamisa ebenza bazizwe beneliseke kakhulu.

Ingxoxo Yamaphupho

Izithombe ze-Getty

Izimo zokuchitheka ezivuselela injini yakho kunikeza omunye wakho obalulekile ithuba lokuletha inganekwane yakho ekuphileni-ekugcineni ikusondeze ndawonye. Kepha ukukhuluma ngezifiso ezimnandi kulula ukusho kunokukwenza. Uma ungaphathekile kahle, yenza isivumelwano sokuthi asikho isinqumo esizokhishwa, kusho uBerman. (Ngemuva kwakho konke, ungalalela ngaphandle kokugxumela ebhodini.) Futhi uma umlingani wakho (noma wena, ngalolo daba) efuna ukukugqokisa imvunulo yeWonder Woman futhi ube nesihlalo esijikayo (futhi awufuni ukuba nengxenye) ? UBerman uphakamisa ukudala "imephu yezinganekwane." Nobabili wena kanye naye uzobhala phansi izifiso zakho futhi uqhathanise amanothi ukuze udale uhlu oluhle. Kuthiwani uma omunye wenu ethanda ukuzama into omunye angayithandi? Khomba ukuthi isifiso sivelaphi bese ucabanga ngokuvumelana okuhle, kusho uBerman. Isibonelo, uma efuna ukuya ocansini esidlangalaleni - futhi ungaphakamisi ukubeka ingubo kuvulandi ongemuva lapho kunamathuba amancane omakhelwane bakho abanyonyoba.

Ingxoxo Yokukopela

Izithombe ze-Getty

Okuhlanganisa ukukopela nokungathembeki akukona okumnyama nokumhlophe. Kodwa ukubhekana nesihloko sokukopela kulula kakhulu-futhi kuhlangatshezwane nokuzivikela okumbalwa-uma kungabangelwa izinsolo. Ngakho-ke ungalindi kuze kube khona okungahambi kahle ukuze uchaze ukuthi ikuphi ukuziphatha okungeke kubekezelelwe. Njengabashadikazi, yenza uhlu lwezenzo enicabanga ukuthi zingukukopela (ngabe nenza umugqa ngokuthinta, kepha ukudansa kulungile?). Ungakhohlwa ukucabanga nge-tech: Ngabe nizokwazana ngocingo noma ngamaphasiwedi we-imeyili womunye nomunye? Ngabe uzoba umngani nez exes zakho ku-Facebook noma ku-Snapchat? [Thwitha leli thiphu!]

Ingxoxo Yolimi Lothando

I-Thinkstock

Ukwazi ukuthi iziphi izenzo ezenza umlingani wakho azizwe ethandwa futhi ethandwa, noma ngabe kulula njengokubambana ngezandla noma njengokushunqisa njengokuthumela imiyalezo emnandi, nokwenza iphuzu lokwenza lezo zinto kufana nokugcina ubuhlobo bobulili obenelisayo, kusho uBerman. Ngokusho kukaGary Chapman odayisa kakhulu Izilimi Ezi-5 Zothando, abantu banikela futhi bamukele uthando lwezithandani ngezindlela ezinhlanu ezihlukene: izipho, isikhathi sekhwalithi, amagama okuvuma noma izincomo, izenzo zenkonzo, nokuthinta ngokomzimba. Imibhangqwana enezilimi ezahlukahlukene zothando isengagculisana ngokuphelele inqobo nje uma bobabili bekhulumisana ngalokho okubenza bazizwe bethandwa kakhulu. UBerman uphakamisa ukubhala phansi imisho emithathu kuye kwemihlanu eqala ngokuthi "Ngizizwa ngithandwa uma ..." bese sabelana ngayo. Ungafaka yonke into kusukela "lapho ubamba isandla sami" noma "lapho uqala ucansi" kuya "lapho uwasha ngaphandle kokucelwa." Futhi qaphela ukuthi umlingani wakho ukuphatha kanjani lapho beziphatha kahle, kusho uBerman. Ingabe bayakuncoma? "Sijwayele ukuthanda abanye ngendlela esithanda ukuthandwa ngayo," kusho uBerman. "Kodwa linganisa izenzo zakho emva kwezabo futhi cishe uzoba ohlosiwe."

Ingxoxo Yokungena

Izithombe ze-Getty

Kubalulekile ukukhumbula ukuthi izingxoxo ngezocansi azenzeki futhi zenziwa. "Izidingo zethu nezidingo zethu ziyaguquka futhi kwenzani kuwe ngenkathi nisathandana noma phakathi nonyaka wokuqala nishadile kungenzeka zingasebenzi eminyakeni eyishumi," kusho uSyrtash. Eqinisweni, uma umbhangqwana uhlala ndawonye isikhathi eside, mancane amathuba okuba babikezele ngokunembile okuthandwa umlingani wabo, usho kanje. Yingakho ukuxhumana kubalulekile. Yazisa omunye nomunye ukuthi okuthandayo kuyavela, noma ukuthi, ngenkathi usathanda ukuba phezulu, khetha isitayela se-reverse-cowgirl.

Buyekeza kwe-