Ukukhomba nokuphatha izingqinamba zokulahlwa

-Delile

• Kuyini ukwesaba ukulahlwa?
• Ziyini izimpawu?
• Izimpawu zezinkinga zokulahlwa ezinganeni
• Izici zobungozi
• Yini ebangela izingqinamba zokulahlwa?
• Uziphatha kanjani izindaba zokulahlwa
• Ukusiza umuntu ngokwesaba ukulahlwa
• Misa ingxoxo isikhashana
• Sekela futhi uqinisekise ukwesaba kwabo
• Ungathathi isicupho esingokomzwelo
• Batshele ukuthi lezi zimilo zikwenza uzizwe kanjani
• Ukusiza ingane ngezinkinga zokulahlwa
• Ukubuyiselwa
• Uyini umbono?

Kuyini ukwesaba ukulahlwa?

Ukwesaba ukulahlwa wuhlobo lokukhathazeka abanye abantu ababhekana nalo lapho bebhekene nomqondo wokulahlekelwa umuntu abamkhathalelayo. Wonke umuntu ubhekana nokufa noma ukuphela kobudlelwano empilweni yakhe. Ukulahlekelwa kuyingxenye yemvelo yokuphila.

Kodwa-ke, abantu abanezinkinga zokulahlwa bahlala ngokwesaba lokhu kulahlekelwa. Bangakhombisa nokuziphatha okucindezela abantu ukuthi bashiye ukuze bangamangali ngokulahleka.

Ukwesaba ukulahlwa akusona isimo esaziwayo noma ukuphazamiseka kwengqondo, ngokwesigaba ngasinye. Esikhundleni salokho, kubhekwa njengohlobo lokukhathazeka futhi luphathwa kanjalo.

Ukuziphatha kokuqala kokushiya ukwesaba kaningi akunanjongo.

Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, noma kunjalo, ukusabela lokhu kuziphatha okutholayo - kanye nokunakwa okuza nakho - kungaziqinisa. Lokho kungadala ukuthi umuntu aphindaphinde ukuziphatha ukuze athole impendulo futhi.

Lokhu kuziphatha kungaba nemiphumela engenampilo. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, kungalimaza ubudlelwano. Kungavimbela futhi ukuthuthukiswa kwezibopho ezinempilo.

Ukhiye wokwelapha izindaba zokulahlwa ukuthola ukwelashwa ngokwengqondo noma ukwelashwa.

Qhubeka ufunde ukuze uthole ukuthi lokhu kwesaba kukhula kanjani nokuthi kunganqandwa kanjani.

Ziyini izimpawu?

Abantu abanokwesaba ukulahlwa babonisa izindlela eziningi ezifanayo zokuziphatha, noma ngabe abanye bangavelela kakhulu kunabanye. Lezi zimpawu zifaka:

• Ukuhamba ngebhayisikili ebudlelwaneni. Abanye bangazibandakanya ebudlelwaneni obuningi obungajulile. Bangesaba ukusondelana futhi bathole isizathu sokushiya ubudlelwano ngaphambi komunye umuntu.
• Ukuhlukumeza ubudlelwano. Abanye bangenza ngokungenangqondo ukuze baphume ebudlelwaneni. Isibonelo, ungahle uxoshe umlingani wakho ukuze ungazizwa ubuhlungu uma behamba.
• Ukunamathela ebudlelwaneni obungenampilo. Abanye abantu abanezinkinga zokulahla bangahlala ebudlelwaneni yize benesifiso sokushiya. Ukwesaba ukuba wedwa kunamandla amakhulu.
• Kudinga ukuqinisekiswa njalo. Abanye bangahlala bafuna umngane noma umlingani futhi bafune iziqinisekiso ezingokomzwelo. Bangase banxuse njalo abangane noma abalingani ukuthi benze izitatimende ezibanzi, ezinjengokuthi "Ngizohlala ngilapha," bese bethi banamanga.

Izimpawu zezinkinga zokulahlwa ezinganeni

Izingane ezinamathele ngokomzwelo okunempilo kubazali bazo zivame ukucasuka lapho zishiywa, noma ngabe isikhathi esifushane kuphela.

Izinga elithile lalesi senzo lingokwemvelo. Kodwa-ke, kungaba uphawu lwesimo sempilo yengqondo lapho kuholela ku:

• Ukukhathazeka ngokwehlukana. Uma ingane ikhathazeka ngabazali bayo ukuya endaweni ethile kusengaphambili, ingane ingahle iveze ukwesaba ukushiywa.
• Uvalo. Uma ingane iqala ukwethuka lapho ingababoni abazali bayo, ukusabela kwayo ngokweqile kungaba uphawu lwenkinga.
• Ukwesaba ukuba wedwa. Ezinye izingane ngeke zilale ngaphandle kwabazali bazo noma zibadedele baphume egumbini.

Izici zobungozi

Ezinye izindaba zokushiya kanye nokwesaba kuba yingozi. Bangavimbela umuntu ukuthi aphile impilo ejwayelekile, nenempilo.

Umlando wanoma ikuphi kwalokhu okulandelayo kungandisa ubungozi bohlobo lokwesaba ukushiywa:

• Unganaki. Abantu abanganakiwe, abahlukunyezwayo, noma abalahliwe, ikakhulukazi ngesikhathi sobuntwana, maningi amathuba okuthi baludale lolu daba. Ngokunjalo, abantu abadala ababenganakwa besenganeni banamathuba amaningi okuthi baphinde baziphathe nezingane zabo.
• Ukucindezeleka. Amazinga aphezulu okucindezeleka angenza ukukhathazeka okwenzeka ngokwemvelo kube kubi kakhulu. Lokhu kungandisa ukwesaba futhi kuholele ekukhathazekeni okusha.
• Izenzakalo ezibuhlungu. Labo abake balimala noma bafa noma baba yisisulu sobugebengu kungenzeka babe namathuba amaningi okuthi bazithuthukise lezi zinkinga.

Yini ebangela izingqinamba zokulahlwa?

Ukukhula komuntu okunempilo kudinga ukwazi ukuthi izidingo zomzimba nezingokomzwelo ziyahlangatshezwa. Ngesikhathi sobuntwana, lokhu kuqinisekiswa kuvela kubazali. Ngesikhathi sokuba mdala, kungavela ebudlelwaneni bomuntu siqu nobothando.

Imicimbi ingaphazamisa lesi siqinisekiso kunoma yimuphi unyaka. Uma lokhu kwenzeka, ukwesaba ukushiya kungahle kwenzeke. Le micimbi ingafaka:

• Ukufa. Ukufa kungokwemvelo, kodwa lokho akukwenzi kube buhlungu kakhulu. Ukulahlekelwa othandekayo ngokungalindelekile kungadala isikhala somoya esingagcwaliswa ukwesaba.
• Ukuhlukumeza. Ukuhlukunyezwa ngokomzimba nangokobulili, kanye nezinye izinhlobo zokuhlukumeza, kungadala izingqinamba ezihlala zikhona zezempilo yengqondo, kufaka phakathi ukwesaba ukulahlwa.
• Ubumpofu. Uma izidingo eziyisisekelo zingatholakali, lokhu kungaholela ekucabangeni kokucabanga. Lokhu kungaholela ekwesabeni ukuthi izinsiza ezingokomzwelo, ezinjengothando, ukunakwa, nobungani, nazo zilinganiselwe ngokufanayo.
• Ukulahleka kobudlelwano. Isehlukaniso, ukufa, ukungathembeki - konke kwenzeka. Kwabanye abantu, ukuphela kobudlelwano kungaba buhlungu kakhulu. Kungaholela ekwesabeni okuqhubekayo.

Uziphatha kanjani izindaba zokulahlwa

Ukwelashwa kwezinkinga zokulahlwa kugxile ekwakheni imingcele enempilo engokomzwelo. Udinga ukwakha i-arsenal yezimpendulo ozozisebenzisa lapho uzizwa amaphethini amadala wokucabanga evela futhi.

Ukwelashwa okuyisisekelo kwezinkinga zokulahlwa kufaka:

• Ukwelashwa. Funa usizo lochwepheshe bezempilo yengqondo, njengomelaphi noma umeluleki. Bangakusiza unqobe ukwesaba ukushiywa. Bazophinde basebenze nawe ukuze baqonde ukuthi uvalo luvelaphi nokuthi yini ongayenza uma uzwa ukuthi ukwesaba kuyanda.
• Ukuzinakekela. Abantu abanezinkinga zokushiya bangazuza ekuzinakekeleni. Ukuqinisekisa ukuthi izidingo ezingokomzwelo ziyahlangabezana kubalulekile ebunganeni nasebudlelwaneni. Ngale ndlela, uyakwazi ukuhlinzeka kangcono umlingani wakho, umngane, noma ingane.

Ukusiza umuntu ngokwesaba ukulahlwa

Ukusiza othandekayo ophila nezinkinga zokushiya kungaba nzima. Ngemuva kwakho konke, uma uveza izinto ezikukhathazayo, umuzwa wabo kungaba ukukuphonsela inselelo nokuthembeka kwakho kubo.

Ngenkathi abantu abanokwesaba ukushiyana behlukene, lezi zindlela zingakusiza ukuthi unakekele umuntu owesaba ukushiywa:

Misa ingxoxo isikhashana

Izingxoxo eziphakeme ezingokomzwelo ngokungenakugwenywa ziyoba ezingakhiqizi. Uma lokhu kwenzeka, misa ingxoxo isikhashana. Bazise ukuthi uyabakhathalela kodwa hamba amahora ambalwa.

Zisekele wena nomuntu onovalo lokushiywa.Abantu abanezinkinga zokulahlwa bangalwa kanzima nalokhu, ikakhulukazi uma abalingani babo bengxoxo behamba bengabatshelanga ukuthi bayaphi.

Bazise:

• lapho uya khona
• uzohlala isikhathi esingakanani
• uzobuya nini

Lapho ubuya, qala ingxoxo usendaweni engeyona imizwa.

Sekela futhi uqinisekise ukwesaba kwabo

Ukuqinisekisa kuyingxenye ebalulekile yokwethembana ebudlelwaneni. Lapho uxhasa othandekayo ngokwesaba ukulahlwa, ukuqinisekiswa kusho ukuthi uyayamukela imizwa yabo ngaphandle kokwahlulela. Ukuqonda okunje kokwesaba kwabo kuyisihluthulelo sokugcina ukuxhumana.

Ukuqinisekisa ukwesaba kothandekayo akusho ukuthi uyavumelana nabo. Esikhundleni salokho, usekela imizwa yabo ukuze uqhubekisele phambili ekwethembekeni nasekuzweleni.

Cabanga ngale ndlela enamazinga ayisithupha Psychology Today ekhonjwe ukukusiza uqalise:

1. Yiba khona. Lalelisisa ukukhathazeka kothandekayo wakho ngaphandle kokwenza izinto eziningi.
2. Cabanga. Fingqa imizwa yomuntu omthandayo ngamazwi ngendlela eyiqiniso ukuze ufinyelele ekuqondeni ngaphandle kokwahlulela.
3. Ukufundwa kwengqondo. Kwesinye isikhathi kungaba nzima ngabathandekayo ukuchaza isimo sabo semizwa njengokwesaba. Ngokubalalela, ungabasiza babone imizwa yabo ukuze baqonde ngokujulile. Leli zinga lithatha umkhuba omningi ngokuba khona nokubonisa.
4. Qonda umlando wabo. Le yindlela ejulile yokwazisa. Uyazi ukwesaba kothandekayo wakho futhi usho ngokusobala ukuthi uyaqonda ukuthi isimo esithile singase sibange kanjani ngenxa yomlando wabo wokulahlwa owedlule.
5. “Jwayela” ukwesaba kwabo. Ukujwayeleka okunjalo kwenziwa ngokuvuma iqiniso lokuthi abanye abanomlando womuntu omthandayo bangaba nokwesaba ukushiywa, ngakho-ke lokho abakuzwayo kuqondakala ngokuphelele.
6. Ubuqiniso obukhulu. Njengezinga elijulile lokuqinisekisa, ubuqiniso obugqamile buhilela ukwabelana nokwesaba kothandekayo wakho njengokwakho.

Kubaluleke ngendlela efanayo ukuvimbela ukusho izinto ezingenzeka ayisebenzi ukwesaba kothandiweyo wakho. Gwema amabinzana angasisizi, afana nalawa:

• "Kulungile, yiyeke nje."
• "Yonke into yenzeka ngenxa yesizathu."
• "Lokho akwenzekanga kuwe."
• "Kungani wenza into enkulu kangaka ngeze?"
• “Izinto zingaba zimbi kakhulu; unenhlanhla. ”

Ungathathi isicupho esingokomzwelo

Umuntu osaba ukushiywa angasebenzisa ukubukeka kobuso, izitatimende eziyindida, noma ukukhuluma komzimba okungacacile. Ungalumi.

Lapho bekutshela ukuthi akukho okungahambi kahle, noma abafuni ukukhuluma ngakho, kubeke ezinhliziyweni zabo. Ukucela ukuthi zivule kungaphenduka indlela yokukuhlola.

Batshele ukuthi lezi zimilo zikwenza uzizwe kanjani

Akukho okubi ekwethembekeni. Lapho uphatheke kabi, veza ngokucacile lokho okushoyo nokuthi izenzo zabo zikwenza uzizwe kanjani. Ukwethembeka kungenzeka kube kuncisha izikhali ngokwanele ukuthi ungathuthuka.

Ukusiza ingane ngezinkinga zokulahlwa

Uma usola ukuthi ingane yakho inenkinga yokulahla, kubalulekile ukuyitholela usizo ngokushesha ngangokunokwenzeka ukuze ikwazi ukwakha ubudlelwane obuphephile. Khuluma nodokotela wengane yakho ngezinketho zakho.

Lezi zindlela zingasiza izingane:

• Funa usizo lochwepheshe. Kwezinye izingane, ukukhuluma nomzali noma uthisha kungahle kungakhululeki. Uchwepheshe angahle asongele kangako.
• Khuthaza izingane ukuthi ziveze imizwa yazo. Ngezinye izikhathi izingane zesaba ukuthi imizwelo yazo ingacasula abazali bazo. Yiba isileti esingenalutho emizweni yengane yakho. Bavumele baveze konke abakuzwayo ngenkathi ukuvuma konke.
• Ukunikezwa kokuqinisekisa. Esikhundleni sokufuna isixazululo sezinkathazo noma ukwesaba kwabo, nikeza isiqinisekiso semizwa yabo. Batshele kalula ukuthi kulungile ukuzizwa ukuthi benza kanjani.

Ukubuyiselwa

Ukwelashwa kwalolu hlobo lokukhathazeka kungaphumelela kakhulu. Kudinga ukuzibophezela nokuzinakekela ukuze uzizwe uzethembile ebudlelwaneni - kepha kungenziwa.

Kubantu abaningi abanezinkinga, ukukhathazeka kungahlala isikhathi eside. Umelaphi angakufundisa ukuthi ungabhekana kanjani nale micabango lapho ivela.

Bangakukhuthaza futhi ukuthi ubuyele ekwelashweni uma imicabango nezinkathazo ziba yinkinga futhi.

Uyini umbono?

Abantu abaningi abanezinkinga zokushiya kungenzeka bangaboni ukuthi ukuziphatha kwabo konakalisa kanjani. Bangabeka engcupheni ubudlelwano njengendlela yokugwema ukulimala.

Lokhu kuziphatha kungaholela ezinkingeni zobudlelwano besikhathi eside kuzilungiselelo zomuntu siqu nezomsebenzi.

Ukwelashwa kwezinkinga zokulahlwa kugxile ekusizeni abantu baqonde izimbangela eziholela ekuziphatheni.

Ukwelashwa kungafundisa nezindlela zokubhekana nokusiza ukuphatha lezi zinkathazo ngokuzayo. Lokhu kungaholela ebudlelwaneni obujwayelekile, obunempilo.